


A Marriage Between Victors

by optimus_pam



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 91,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/optimus_pam/pseuds/optimus_pam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Victory Tour ended with a wedding rather than an engagement? A story that explores what would have happened if Peeta and Katniss had been forced to marry. How does this change affect their relationship? District 12? The rebellion? Rated M for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

" _I'll be in love with him just as I was," I say._

" _Just as you are," corrects President Snow.  
_

" _Just as I am," I confirm._

" _Only you'll have to do even better if the uprisings are to be averted," he says. "This tour will be your only chance to turn things around."_

" _I know. I will. I'll convince everyone in the districts that I wasn't defying the Capitol, that I was crazy with love," I say._

_President Snow rises and dabs his puffy lips with a napkin. "Aim higher in case you fall short."_

" _What do you mean? How can I aim higher?" I ask._

" _Convince me," he says._

_-Catching Fire_

 

_Am I convincing enough?_  Katniss Everdeen wondered as she stood looking at her reflection. She's certainly dressed the part of a blushing bride, wearing a white dress of heavy silk adorned with pearls, and with long sleeves that when outstretched could almost be the wings of bird poised to take flight. But Katniss is a caged bird. She will not fly from the Capitol's clutches.

_Will the games never end?_  She silently asked her reflection. But Katniss knows the answer to this question before she asks it. She and Peeta have not really escaped the arena, nor will the games ever truly end. They are still the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12, still the Capitol's playthings, and still very much in danger.

Ever since President Snow visited Katniss at her home in the Victor's Village upon returning from the games her every waking moment has been spent trying to keep her family safe. In other words, planning the biggest wedding Panem has ever seen. Immediately after her meeting with President Snow, Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch devised a plan beginning with an announcement of their engagement and culminating with a Capitol wedding at the end of the Victory Tour. Which is why Katniss Everdeen, once the Girl on Fire, is now standing in a suite in the President's mansion, wearing the most beautiful wedding gown she's ever seen, trying to gather the courage to marry Peeta Mellark—her district partner, co-victor of the 74th Hunger Games, the Boy with the Bread.

Her prep team left moments ago to find their seats amongst the Capitol crowd, leaving Katniss alone in her dressing room with her mother and sister waiting just outside the door. Prim was delighted by the grandeur of the Capitol and the ceremony itself. Though she suspected her older sister's apprehension, Prim did her best to appear joyful for the occasion. Katniss knew her mother and sister approved of Peeta. Even if they did question the sincerity of her affections and the suddenness with which everything happened, they didn't question her judgment. Katniss reminded herself to find joy in the day despite her dread. She focused on the prosperity their victory in the games brought to District 12 and the extra rations that would arrive on the supply trains to celebrate her and Peeta's union, a silent nod of approval from President Snow for a job well done. She smiled thinking of Prim in the bridesmaid dress Cinna had designed for her. The pale blue shade matched her sister's eyes perfectly, as did the ribbons strung in her blonde hair.

Katniss looked at her reflection in the mirror once again. She marveled at how Cinna could make her look so unlike herself and yet so herself at the same time. Just as she thought of him, Cinna walked in holding a small box wrapped in silver tissue with a large bow.

"What is this?"

"An old tradition for weddings. The bride must have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue."

He continued, "Your dress of course is new. This box contains others." He said as he handed it to her. Katniss opened the box tentatively, curious as to what strange Capitol contraptions she would find inside. Cinna sensed her apprehension and calmed her nerves by telling her it wasn't a Capitol tradition but one much older, before the time of the Capitol and the Districts. She looked at him worried, wondering what kind of trouble he could get into because of this. Anything from the before the Dark Days was taboo, a direct affront to the Capitol. But again, Cinna answered her questions before she could even ask them.

"It'll be our secret Katniss. Few people even know these traditions let alone would be able to piece it together." As he said this he opened the box and before Katniss on a bed of white silk lay three finishing touches that would complete her ensemble: a blue piece of fabric she didn't recognize, a beautiful hair comb laced with pearls, and her mockingjay pin.

She smiled tentatively, realizing the lengths Cinna had gone through to make this day her own despite the Capitol's involvement. She knew that his dress combined with her pin would give her the bravery she needed to face the cameras, crowds, and President Snow.

"This," he holds up the blue, lacy piece of fabric, "is a garter. It's to be worn around your thigh and to be removed by the groom." Katniss blanched at this bit of news.

"Wha-what? Why?"

"It's a symbol Katniss."

"Of what? What could I possibly want to symbolize with  _that_!" She said, looking as if she'd rather shoot it with one of her arrows than wear it.

Cinna narrowed his eyes at Katniss and she felt the silent reprimand. "Its history is rather complex, but just know this: what I want for it to mean Katniss is that you trust Peeta. But what it will show to the audience—and more importantly to President Snow—is that you welcome Peeta's affection."

Cinna hated to remind Katniss of the role she must play, hated to remind her that today was a charade. He, Peeta, Haymitch, and even Effie had tried to keep everything as genuine as they could, but sometimes the truth had a way of rearing its ugly head.

Katniss accepted the garter as he helped her into it and then she looked back at the rest of the items in the box. "Ok, so the garter is blue. Which of these is which?" She asked pointing between the comb and the pin.

"None of these are your something old. That is a surprise. And while this comb may be an antique I doubt the owner is ready to part with it. So let's call it 'something borrowed.'"

"Who's was it?" Katniss asked as Cinna placed the lovely comb at the crown of her skull. The silver and pearls stood in contrast to her dark hair, which was done in the braided style she first wore at the Reaping. She silently appreciated all the little touches Cinna had made to ensure that she felt like herself.

"If you can believe it or not, Haymitch. He asked me that you wear it today." Katniss knew then that it must have belonged to his girl, the one he lost after not bending to Snow's will after being crowned victor. She didn't know what to make of the gesture but she was honored.

"And my pin? What is it then?" Katniss asked, not quite sure if she understood Cinna's intentions, if it was neither old, new, borrowed, nor blue.

"It's your talisman Katniss. It is something entirely your own. You wear it to remind yourself why you're doing all of this and who you're doing it for." With that Cinna placed her mockingjay pin on this inside of her dress, fastened to her slip and resting just above her heart. It would be their secret. With the pin in place Cinna stood back and smiled approvingly at Katniss, his dark eyes and gold eyeliner taking her in one last time.

"I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire. You're the most beautiful bride Panem has ever seen."

Katniss grimaced. "Thanks to you."

Tilting her chin up, Cinna made Katniss look in his eyes before telling her, "Your beauty is all your own Katniss. You're radiant and you've always been radiant, long before I got my hands on you. You were a diamond among the rough in the coal district."

"Thank you. That was lovely," she said shyly.

"I know. Peeta certainly has a way with words."

"What?" Katniss asked, confused.

"I went to see Peeta while your prep team finished with you. I told him he was marrying the most beautiful girl in Panem and he told me to tell him something he didn't already know." As he put the finishing touches on Katniss' look, he remembered his encounter with the young man just moments before.

* * *

_Cinna walked into the room just as Portia finished adjusting Peeta's opalescent silk tie. He admired his partner's work; she had translated the look of Katniss' dress into a masculine elegance that suited Peeta. Standing at the altar they would complement each other perfectly._

" _A handsomer groom I have never seen." Cinna told Peeta as he helped him adjust his coat._

" _Then you haven't seen many grooms have you?" Peeta said jokingly. Cinna admired the boy's efforts to always put those around him at ease. It would serve him well with Katniss._

" _I just came to see how you were doing."_

" _I'm fine. I'm getting everything I've always dreamed of and all I never wanted in one day."_

_"You're a very wise young man, you know that Peeta?"_

_"If I were so wise, I would know how to get Katniss out of this mess."_

" _How can you be so certain that's what's best for her? What if exactly what she needs is to be thrown into this 'mess' as you call it?"_

" _Cinna, you know she doesn't want to marry me."_

" _No, I don't. All Katniss knows is that she doesn't want to be married."_

" _Isn't that the same thing?" Peeta asked his confusion and frustration mounting._

" _It's really not Peeta. Her objection isn't to you. It's to the process, to the event, to the Capitol's interference in your lives. I'm not entirely convinced that given the chance, this wouldn't have happened on its own—eventually."_

" _You really think that?" Peeta asked, unable to mask the hope from brightening his blue eyes._

" _I think that you and Katniss are bound in a way few of us can understand."_

_With that Peeta nodded, and he resumed checking the groom over once more. He felt the young man's nerves return as the silence mounted and decided to give him a distraction._

" _Your bride looks beautiful, you know." Cinna smiled as he heard Peeta murmur the words "my bride" in a wondrous tone before catching his eyes in the mirror._

" _Of course she does. She's always beautiful. She's always been beautiful. Even at 11 years old when she was nothing but nothing but skin and bone and a long braid she was still beautiful." Peeta paused and got a faraway look in his eyes. "Have you ever been to District 12, Cinna?"_

_"No, not personally."_

_"Well, over time no matter what you do or how hard you try everything just becomes a shade of grey from the coal. Even the people, miners sooner than others, but it catches up to everyone eventually. But Katniss was always different, always radiant. She'll never fade to grey. You of all people know this."_

" _I do Peeta. But you knew first, didn't you?" And with that he left the younger man alone with his thoughts._

* * *

Soon after Cinna also left Katniss alone as thoughts of Peeta swirled in her head. She knew that today might even be more difficult for him than for her. He loved her. She knew this, but she also knew that he never wanted for anything between them to be a fabrication, to be playing pretend for an audience. Katniss wondered if this sham of a wedding may very well be what it finally took to break his heart and cure him of his love for her. The rational part of her hoped so; it would make everything so much easier for him. However a larger, deeper part of Katniss prayed that he didn't ever fall out of love with her. She blamed this incomprehensible notion on her own selfishness.

Katniss was broken from her silent reverie by the sudden appearance of her sister and mother bursting through the door with good cheer. Cinna, in all his wisdom, knew that her family was what she needed right now.

"Hey Little Duck!" Katniss said, hugging her little sister to her tightly.

"Katniss! You're beautiful! I mean, I know I saw it at the photo-shoot and everything but it's not the same. Wow!" Prim said with breathless excitement. Katniss smiled at her little sister, hoping her joy would be infectious and she could absorb some of it before facing the cameras.

"Thank you Prim, but I don't look half as pretty as you do today." Prim preened from her sister's compliment, twirling so the satin skirt billowed out to its fullness.

"Madge and Posy are waiting outside. Vick is with the Mellark boys. Effie is lining everyone up as we speak." Katniss nodded along to her sister's chatter. She asked Madge to join her bridal party because she was the closest thing she had to a girlfriend. That and she needed someone besides Prim considering Peeta's two brothers would serve as groomsmen. President Snow had thought it would be delightful if her  _cousins_ the Hawthornes were involved as well. So little Posy would be the flower girl and Vick would serve as the ring bearer. Katniss thought it was a cruel barb on President Snow's part—to have Gale's siblings fill the same roles in her wedding to Peeta that they probably would if she had ever married Gale instead.

Regardless of who she married she never would have had a wedding like this without the Capitol's influence. She had never wanted to get married at all. If she had it would have been small and in keeping with the traditions of District 12. Whatever dinner could be scraped together between family and a few friends, maybe some fiddles and dancing. Then at night, she and Peeta would toast the bread in private.

Startled, Katniss realized the implications of her thoughts. She hadn't meant to envision a toasting with Peeta, but then she couldn't really imagine it with anyone else now could she? Not after her stunt with the berries.

"What was that Prim?" Katniss asked distractedly.

"I said Effie's dress is about the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's made of feathers, actual bird feathers. She looks like she got attacked by a flock of magenta birds."

"Well then she must have won if she's wearing them, right Little Duck?" Prim giggled, but had the good sense to blush for laughing at Ms. Trinket's expense.

"Well, at least you and your sister look lovely Primrose. Now would you please go grab the bouquets? I'd like to talk to Katniss alone for a moment."

Katniss worried, she didn't know what her mother was going to say. Ever since the Reaping her mother had seemed more awake and alive and yet there was still an uneasy distance between the two. Their relationship would never be what it ought to have been but Katniss was grateful her mother kept her promise and took care of Prim in her absence. Upon her return from the games they had slowly begun to relearn how to be mother and daughter. Slowly began to rebuild trust. She didn't think things would ever be same the between them, but she was glad to have mother here for her on her wedding day.

The willowy blonde woman spoke, revealing just how perceptive she was to her daughter's dilemma. "I won't pretend that I don't know that you are doing this—at least in part—for Prim and me. So please just know that I'm so grateful to have such an incredibly strong, incredibly beautiful daughter." Katniss was worried that her mother would cry but she was proud when the older woman threw her shoulders back and began speaking again, this time more forcefully.

"I know you're young Katniss and this isn't exactly what you wanted for yourself but even if it weren't for the Capitol I don't think you could better. Not even Gale."

Katniss looked up at her mother shocked, eyes wide, mouth agape but her mother continued before she could speak. Mrs. Everdeen continued in a wistful voice, "He looks at you like your father looked at me. That boy—that  _young man_  will make you a great husband."

And with that her mother handed her a handkerchief. It had once been white but now faded into a dull, greyish yellow from years of sitting in a box in their house in the Seam. Katniss realized from the quality of the fabric and stitching that it must have been from her mother's merchant days. Upon further inspection there were two sets of initials and a date embroidered on the finery. The initials belonged to her parents and the date was their wedding day.  _Something old._

"I made these for your father and me the day of our toasting. They were one of the few fine things I took with me when I left my parents' home. And I'm sorry I hid them from you all these years Katniss but I honestly don't think two pieces of old silk would have fetched us much and I couldn't part with it. It-it meant too much." Her mother paused to blink back tears but bravely continued on, "I gave Peeta the other one. They're a matched set. Your father and I each had one. I embroidered them with song birds for him."

Katniss was stunned by her mother's words and actions, they were so thoughtful and  _motherly_. In that moment she felt the pain of her father's absence so acutely she couldn't breathe but then Prim walked back into the room holding—of all flowers—roses. But not any roses, they were pale pink Primroses. Katniss silently thanked Haymitch for craftily compromising with President Snow's  _generous offer_ to have the wedding greenery provided from his private garden. While the rest of the ballroom would be covered in his sickly sweet, genetically enhanced, snow white and blood red roses the bridal party would wear boutonnieres and carry bouquets of Primroses. She hoped Snow didn't kill the gardener because of this. The entire purpose of this wedding was to avoid having more blood on her hands.

Effie immediately followed in behind Prim, hurrying them along. "Sorry to rush dears but I'm afraid Haymitch won't stay sober much longer. And he just  _cannot_ drunkenly wander down the aisle! Why then, Katniss dear, you might never make it to the altar." Effie said in her clipped Capitol accent.

Katniss followed her mother and Prim to the end of the aisle where Haymitch was waiting for her. He looked surprisingly well-groomed and sober. She was flattered.

"Thank you." She whispered to Haymitch. She didn't need to say what for. He understood.

"You're welcome. Now don't you go thinking we're going to hug and cry after this, Sweetheart. It's a one-time deal. Next time you see me this sober is when you start poppin' out Baby Mellarks." Katniss paled at the comment.

"It's a common side effect of marriage Sweetheart."

"It's not a real marriage, Haymitch." She hissed at him.

"Oh it better be real, or the Capitol's going to eat you alive. You remember that. You're one half of the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12, not the better half but half nonetheless. His family is just as liable to get killed if you don't pull off this charade. So you better put a smile on that pretty face of yours and cotton to the idea of being Mrs. Mellark because it's the only thing that's going to save your ass Sweetheart."

"Dammit, I was just trying to say thank you for not being a complete jackass for once and you have to go and ruin it."

"You're welcome, I wouldn't be your mentor if I didn't."

Katniss took in a deep, calming breath. "Thank you. For helping us get this far. And for the comb, it's lovely. I-I...I'm sure she was too."

"She was. She really was. Now don't let what happened to her happen to your boy in there, ok?" Haymitch sighed.

"Ok." Katniss solemnly swore.

"Good. Now let's get you married. I need a drink."

With that Katniss and Haymitch proceeded down the aisle on cue. The ceremony was too lavish and crowded for her liking but Katniss surveyed the room nonetheless. She saw her mother sitting next to Hazelle, Gale, and the rest of the Hawthorne brood. Then she spotted the Mellarks. Mrs. Mellark's perpetual frown was firmly in place but Katniss' heart softened when she saw the baker's misty blue eyes. So kind and gentle like his son. With that thought her gaze snapped to Peeta. She took in the way his tuxedo hugged his broad shoulders and his golden curls grazed the back of his collar. Her father's handkerchief tucked neatly in his pocket caught her eye before her gaze wandered back up to his full lips. Lips that were parted in a rueful smile—he was offering her a silent apology. And she hated that he felt he had to apologize for this, as if it were somehow his fault. Didn't he see that the blame was entirely her own? But all the worry and guilt was wiped from her mind when she saw the look in his eyes. Katniss wasn't a woman of words and so she had no way of describing the look he was giving her, was it longing? Adoration? Love? Whatever it was she felt it in her bones, a sudden warmth and lightness radiating through her, pulling her to him. Haymitch had to hold her arm a little tighter so as to keep their pace, her desire to reach Peeta was so strong.

When she was finally before him and his hand clasped around hers she released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. His hands were warm and though the scars and callouses he had from years of working in the bakery were removed after the games; she could already feel new ones taking their place. Evidence of the work he did with the same steadiness and care he brought to everything.

Her gaze flicked from their joined hands to his eyes as the ceremony began. Peeta tried his best to ignore the Capitol official's speech, which he knew would be filled with rhetoric and propaganda and nothing to do with the love between a husband and wife. All Peeta wanted to do was promise to love and protect the woman before him, so while he waited for his turn to speak he studied Katniss.

She was a radiant vision of beauty. Peeta would have happily married Katniss if she were wearing her father's hunting jacket and scuffed boots. However, Peeta liked this alternative as well. He found that despite the opulence of the dress it somehow suited Katniss. The creamy pearls contrasted with her olive skin and dark hair. Hey grey eyes shone with intensity and her lips were forming a very small smile, which he realized was for him. The warmth he felt at her small sign of affection moved him and he smiled just a bit wider and grasped her hands just a bit tighter.

It was time for their vows and neither of them had never been more nervous to speak.

For Peeta it was because the words were overwhelmingly true, he'd always been a goner.

Katniss simply feared the words and the promise they held.

"I, Peeta Mellark, wed thee Katniss Everdeen..." The Capitol wouldn't allow them to speak their own vows, but somehow Peeta made the ancient words sound all his own.

As he spoke the finals words, he motioned for Vick to step forward. Grabbing the smaller band he held it up to Katniss' finger. Her eyes widened when she noticed an engraving on the inside of the band, a small heart with an arrow through it.

She looked at Peeta and the question was obvious in her eyes,  _did you do this?_  He nodded a yes in reply and Katniss smiled at their small secret. She took the larger ring from Vick's pillow and saw a matching heart pierced with an arrow and it gave her the courage to begin her vows.

"I, Katniss Everdeen, wed thee Peeta Mellark..." The vows promised to honor and cherish and even obey, but made no mention of love. She was grateful for that, she didn't know if she could promise to love him. The only person she knew for certain she loved was Prim And she definitely did not feel for Peeta the same way she felt for Prim. In fact, nobody made her feel the way Peeta did.

With their vows said and fates sealed Peeta kissed his bride. When their lips met it was warm and wonderful. Peeta's arms wrapped around Katniss' waist as her arms wound around his neck and she felt that lightness in her chest radiate throughout her whole being. As quickly as the spark between them was lit though, it went out as Peeta pulled away. They walked back down the aisle hand in hand and inexplicably the scent of burnt bread and rain washed over Katniss.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Cheers erupted through the ballroom as Mr. and Mrs. Peeta Mellark made their grand entrance. Katniss was blinded by the opulence and beauty of the décor. The ceiling resembled the night sky and musicians seemed to hover on clouds. Guests sat on plush pillows that were so large and fluffy they were better than any bed a child in the Seam could hope to sleep on. And the food, the food was the most bountiful and remarkable thing Katniss could imagine. Delicacies from every district were present. Including all the district breads Peeta had pointed out to her in the training center.

Caesar Flickerman announced their entrance and then declared that it was time for the newlywed's first dance. The song was slow and dreamlike, unlike the fast-paced fiddle and flute music of home. But she and Peeta were prepared, Effie had taught them dances suitable for Capitol music and they had enough practice during the Victory Tour that their bodies moved as one in small, graceful circles even with Peeta's prosthetic leg.

It was then that Peeta whispered in her ear. It was the first time they had spoken all day, besides their vows. She had expected romantic drivel that made her heart ache when she couldn't reciprocate so she was surprised when he offered a simple, "I'm sorry."  _Are we back to that?_ She asked herself, shivering as his warm breath tickled her ear.

"Don't be. You've done nothing wrong. You've helped me keep my family safe. I should be saying thank you."

"If I were a smarter man, a better man I could have gotten you out of this. Maybe I never would have gotten you into it in the first place." He kept his lips to her ear. Over the past few weeks they had perfected having clandestine conversations while disguising them as romantic nothings.

"Peeta, you couldn't have done any better or been any better. None of us were prepared for this situation. If we can survive the arena, we can survive this." Katniss knew she didn't have the same calming effect Peeta did, it wasn't in her nature, but she wanted to give him this—to give him  _something_ , some kind of reassurance.

Peeta started to speak but then stopped and just pulled Katniss tighter to him. When the song was over he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and whispered, "You're beautiful."

The evening passed in relative calm and Katniss was able to enjoy watching her sister dance with the younger Hawthornes. She noticed that Haymitch and Hazelle took a turn on the floor and was impressed that he only stumbled once. Peeta had quietly mentioned something about Effie giving the waiters death threats if they allowed him to over-indulge but they both knew Haymitch was too crafty for that to work. After all he wasn't a victor for nothing. A few waiters and a Capitol "ninny" as Haymitch affectionately called Effie hadn't ever stopped him before, why would tonight be any different? Temperance couldn't be forced upon Haymitch. His sobriety was entirely his own choice. Though they appreciated the effort he had made thus far.

Peeta was called away by a few pastry chefs and caterers he had been meaning to talk to and soon Gale materialized by her side. "You clean up nice Catnip."

"Not so bad yourself, Gale." She smirked as he tugged at the neck of his suit. The tight collar was in sharp contrast to free and loose clothing they wore to hunt.

"Can your cousin have a dance?" He asked, lacing the word cousin with as much disdain as he could safely muster among the Capitol crowd. He swept her onto the dance floor before she could reply either way.

They didn't dance as fluidly or as closely as she did with Peeta, the song didn't really call for it. Still she couldn't help but compare the two experiences in her mind. It felt so much easier to be with Peeta, so much more natural. She assumed it was because they had so much more practice at being together in this way while she and Gale had only ever been friends. Besides that one stupid, fateful kiss. That stupid, fateful kiss that President Snow knew about. That stupid, fateful kiss that could never happen again. That stupid, fateful kiss that felt nothing like Peeta's, had made her feel nothing but dread the moment it ended.

His hold on her was more aggressive than Peeta's, more like dancing with a grizzly bear than a teddy bear but she chalked that up to nerves. Gale felt uncomfortable in the Capitol, more like prey than the predator he was accustomed to being. This inversion of things had him on edge, more apt to act irrationally and Katniss knew she had to calm the fire raging inside of him or all this would have been for naught. The scowl on his face and tension in his shoulders reminded her of the last time they had talked. They wanted to get one last good haul in before she left for the Victory Tour, it would be her last outing in the woods for almost a month. It had gone nearly perfect until Gale brought up the wedding.

* * *

_Just as she put a squirrel in her game bag Gale resumed an argument they had a hundred times before, ever since she announced her engagement to Peeta._

" _I still can't believe you're doing this. Selling yourself to bread boy? This ruse is hardly any better than the girls who line up outside old Cray's door!"_

_Katniss didn't even blink before she felt her fist connect with Gale's jaw. Not in her entire life had anyone said something so hurtful to her. She wasn't selling herself to Peeta. He was just as much a victim in Snow's game as she was and she'd be damned if she did this for all of their families just to have Gale throw it back in her face._

" _You know nothing Gale. Nothing. Peeta didn't force me into this. Hell! The engagement was my idea if you want to know the truth. This "ruse" is the only thing keeping us alive!" She was practically shouting before she calmed down. "Snow wasn't happy Gale. Not after what I did with the nightlock berries. He executed Seneca Crane, the Head Gamemaker, for allowing us to live. He came to my house Gale and threatened my family, Peeta's family, you! So you can hate me for it, but I have my reasons."_

" _Are you going to tell me that none of those reasons have to do with your feelings for him?"_

" _Of course they did Gale! Just like they had to do with my feelings for you! For Prim! You're my family! I have to protect you all."_

" _You're lying to yourself Catnip if you think your feelings for us are all the same. Sometimes I think you forget I watched you two in the games. That I see the way you are with him. And it kills me."_

" _It's for the cameras Gale, for Sn-"_

" _No Katniss, it's not." He returned to his snare line and Katniss heard him mutter under his breath, "It should have been me in the arena with you."_

" _Don't ever say that! Don't even think that Gale! I don't wish that for you or anyone! There's a reason I can't sleep at night. You don't ever want those ghosts haunting your dreams."_

" _If I had been there maybe things would be different."_

" _No Gale, they wouldn't. Not in the way you think. The only difference is that one of us would be dead. You're not Peeta, you wouldn't have made the Capitol fall in love with us." Katniss immediately regretted her words. Dammit! Would she ever learn to say the right thing?_

" _I'm not Peeta. Thanks Catnip, I think that's all I needed to know." Gale sneered, forcefully adjusting his snare until it snapped. "Dammit!"_

" _Gale, you're still my best friend," Katniss pleaded._

" _But I'm not your husband." With that he walked away. In that moment Katniss had never felt so much unrest in the woods of District 12._

* * *

Katniss was thankful he had agreed to come to her wedding after that fiasco, even if the Capitol made him uneasy. She hated exposing them all to the Capitol, making them more vulnerable targets. If she and Peeta had their way, their families would stay safely tucked away in District 12 but she also knew that Snow and all of Panem expected this to be as real as possible. They couldn't get married without their families. So Katniss decided that if Gale had to be here in the Capitol, witnessing her marry another man the least she could was to remind him of their purpose in doing all of this. Thankfully Katniss knew how to put a smile on her best friend's face.

"Hazelle, Posy, and your brothers look happy." She said motioning over Gale' shoulder to where their siblings were cheerily munching on rich food foreign to District 12. A small smile replaced his scowl before his lips met again in an even line. "Food in their bellies is always something to celebrate Gale."

"I suppose I can celebrate  _that_. And you're right the lamb stew is delicious." Katniss knew this was Gale's way of telling her things were okay between them, as okay as they could be under the circumstances.

After an interminable silence he spoke again. "Will he make you happy Catnip?"

Katniss thought about it. She didn't know what to say. Had she ever really been happy? "He won't make me unhappy." It was the fairest answer she could offer to either of them.

Then the song ended and Effie Trinket bobbled over to Katniss on impossibly high heels and shuffled her over to stand by Peeta as the most magnificent cake Katniss had ever seen was wheeled into the room. It was covered in white frosting and decorated with edible pearls. But what caught her attention were the colorful sugar flowers surrounding each tier. On the bottom layer were Katniss flowers, then ascending the confection were Primroses, and finally Rue flowers. Instantly Katniss knew that Peeta had decorated this cake for her and tears sprang to her eyes. To have her little ally remembered so beautifully on this day made her heart ache. She looked to Peeta, grabbed his hands, and simply smiled as words escaped her.

"She deserved to be here and now she is," he said quietly.

"Thank you. It's perfect." Katniss leaned in and gave him a kiss, simply for being Peeta. One of the few real kisses they shared without any provocation or prompting. It was soft and sweet and tinged with a bit of the sadness they both felt at losing Rue but it heartened Katniss. The cake made her feel as though she could get through the rest of the evening with Peeta by her side.

They cut small, precise slices and fed them to each other. Then they shared a sugary kiss at the audience's insistence. Afterwards Katniss found herself enjoying the evening, especially Haymitch's drunken attempts to dance with Effie. But her tension returned as soon as Caesar Flickerman announced that all eligible bachelors should assemble for the tossing of the bride's garter.

She was placed in a chair in the middle of the room and felt as if in that moment the world was watching, and perhaps it was. Peeta walked towards Katniss gingerly, reminding her of the way she approached her prey. The irony of the situation was not lost on her.

Peeta knelt in front of her and gave her a reassuring look. As he began to slowly and gently move his hands under her dress and up her thigh Katniss heard his middle brother call out from the crowd of bachelors, "Wonder who's going to win the wrestling match tonight, eh little brother?" Katniss flushed in mortification.

Peeta's cheeks colored a little too as his eldest brother called out, "At least she doesn't have her bow and arrows!" The crowd let out a raucous laugh at their good natured teasing and Peeta had to bite back a sharp retort at his brothers' expense. He didn't want to make this any worse for Katniss than it already was. He could feel her trembling.

Katniss' legs let out an involuntary shiver as Peeta's fingertips grazed the inside of her thigh. Never in her life had she been touched so intimately, she hadn't expected it to unsettle her nerves as greatly as it did. Her blush grew deeper at the thought that all of this was occurring in front of an audience. In front of her mother and Prim. And Gale.  _Oh God._

Luckily the ordeal was over quickly as Peeta rose to his feet, the blue garter in hand. Effie instructed him to toss it to the awaiting group of bachelors. Katniss' bouquet was similarly disposed of and caught by a woman with short, spiky brown hair she had seen dancing with Gale earlier. Effie brought the two guests forward and told them it was customary for the bride and groom to share a dance with those who had caught the prizes. The brunette cracked a wolfish grin before clutching Peeta's hand and whisking him away to a far off section of the dance floor. Then Katniss was introduced to the large man still holding her garter: Plutarch Heavensbee, Head Gamemaker.

Katniss had no desire to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. It was only slightly less repellant than the idea of dancing with President Snow. However, she bit her tongue, put on the biggest smile she could manage, and made polite conversation with the man.

"Congratulations Ms. Everdeen. Well I guess Mrs. Mellark now."

"Thank you, so glad you could attend."

"Oh I didn't just mean your nuptials. I also meant your recent victory in the games. Very unorthodox."

Katniss had a few other choice words for the games— _sadistic, barbaric, hellish—_ but simply nodded instead.

"You know I had a feeling you'd win the minute I fell into that punch bowl" he confessed.

Katniss nearly chuckled at the revelation. "Was that you? I'm sorry if I gave you a fright." She was lying through her teeth now.

"Well I've lost my taste for punch but otherwise it's quite alright. In fact we've got a planning meeting tonight, but that's a trade secret my dear. Though I suppose I can trust you with it. We're presently finishing the arena for the Quarter Quell; they  _aren't built in a day_  you know." Katniss took a moment to look over his shoulder for Peeta. The brunette was saying something and she couldn't tell if Peeta was laughing or choking but Katniss didn't get a chance to decide as her dance partner suddenly stopped to check the time.

Katniss was mesmerized. She swore for a moment a mockingjay appeared on the face of the watch, just like the one on her pin.  _"I'll have to be going soon. It starts at midnight."_  With that Plutarch Heavensbee ended their dance. She mused about his curious watch for a moment but then she pondered a more pressing issue,  _what the hell was he going to do with her garter?_ She fantasized about him keeping it as some kind of tacky trophy before she was pulled back to reality by Peeta's presence at her side.

He looked breathless and flushed and she wondered just what he had been doing during his dance. "Who was that?" She snapped at him.

"Johanna Mason, District 7 victor from a couple years ago." Peeta said, grabbing Katniss' arms and seamlessly transitioning into a dance.

"What did you talk about?" Her eyes kept darting back to the other woman, who was now talking to a man with bronze hair and sea green eyes. The handsomest man in Panem—Finnick Odair, another victor. The pair was chatting animatedly and stealing glances at her and Peeta. Katniss had the distinct impression of being laughed at.

"She—um—had some…" he paused now looking for the right word.  _What was wrong with him? Peeta was never at a loss for words. What had that Mason woman done to him?_  "Well, she wanted to give me some pointers for tonight." He said avoiding eye contact.

"Pointers? For what?" Katniss genuinely didn't understand.

He looked at her as if is she were a small child before saying, "Katniss, a lot of people are under the impression that all of this is real. That this is a normal wedding. With that come certain  _expectations._ "

Her mouth made a perfect "O" shape but no sound came out as she blushed scarlet.

"You're so pure. It's adorable." He said before twirling her around.

Back in his arms, Katniss said, "If I'm so pure then why did Effie have to sit down and tell me _'It's not proper for a young man and woman to share sleeping quarters prior to marriage Miss Everdeen.'_  Riddle me that, Peeta."

"Because people are small-minded gossips who can't comprehend that two teenagers might need something else from each other besides sex in the dark of night."

He was right, of course. Peeta was always right. They don't know how exactly it happened but one night on the train during the Victory Tour they found each other. They discovered that together they could help keep the demons at bay. So every night they made their way to one another's cabin. Nothing had happened besides sleep and comforting embraces but try and tell the Capitol that and see how many people laugh in your face.

Soon Effie descended upon them, letting them know that the sport was at its best and they should say their farewells and make a graceful exit. Katniss found her mother sitting on a pillow in a far corner, Prim asleep in her lap. They bid each other goodnight and goodbye since her family as well as the Mellarks and Hawthornes were taking the morning train home to District 12. She and Peeta would follow shortly after, but first they had an interview with Caesar Flickerman.

They were escorted from the banquet room to a wing of the mansion neither of them had seen before. An Avox opened a set of wide double doors revealing the most luxurious bedroom they had ever seen. Everything was covered in red and white silk, including the massive bed that wouldn't have even fit in Katniss' old house in the Seam. On a center table was a bouquet of genetically enhanced roses. President Snow was omnipresent, haunting them even in his absence from the ceremony.

While Peeta discretely disposed of the flowers, Katniss stood there unsure of what to do. Even though she and Peeta had shared a bed before this was different. This was their  _wedding night._  She didn't know if she was ready. She didn't know if she would ever be ready. She did know one thing for sure: she had to get out of this dress.

"Peeta?" She asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Would you mind helping me," she pointed to the back of her dress, "with the buttons? I can't undo them myself."

"What? The nimble fingers of the great huntress Katniss Everdeen can't manage a few pearl buttons?" He laughed before working his way down her back.

"There are more than a few," she pointed out indignantly.

"True. How many are there exactly?"

"74. One for each year of the games," Katniss said softly, convinced the room was bugged.

"It seems like Cinna plays a very dangerous game of his own," Peeta replied, marveling at the stylist's silent yet brave acts of rebellion.

The air grew heavy as Peeta undid the remaining buttons, the last one ending just above her tail bone. His fingers trailed up her exposed back, making her shiver under his feather light touch before removing the comb from her hair. Then unpinning her braids until the dark locks fell in heavy waves down her back. Hiding the tantalizing skin Peeta had just uncovered.

Their shallow breathing was the only sound in the room before Peeta cleared his throat and moved away from her, breaking the trance that held them both.

"I'll just go change. For bed—for sleep" Katniss said hastily retreating to the bathroom. Peeta's gaze lingered on the closed door before he roughly removed the constricting tie from around his neck. He plopped down on the bed before putting his face in his hands, disgusted. If he couldn't make it through this first night of marriage to Katniss, how would he survive the rest of their lives? Sometimes the Girl on Fire really didn't understand the effect she could have.

Once in the bathroom Katniss hastily undressed down to her slip and reached for a garment bag she had assumed was for the dress. It wasn't. Pulling the zipper down revealed black silk lingerie. Katniss felt her stomach heave. This wasn't Cinna's work. The lines of the garment weren't elegant and graceful. It wasn't designed to make Katniss feel beautiful. It was meant to put her on display. To leave her exposed, vulnerable, and defenseless. Snow's implications were clear: she would have to give  _everything_  to convince him. Could he name a higher price than her virtue?

It was then that Katniss saw the rose nestled in the fabric like a snake in the bushes. That, more than anything, made her feel apprehensive and dirty. Her fingers trembled as she read the note attached.

_Katniss,_

_Congratulations on your nuptials. May the odds be ever in your favor._

_-President Coriolanus Snow_

Her skin crawled. Katniss didn't think she could do this. She wasn't ready for sex. Period. It had nothing to do with Peeta. Though she had enjoyed a few of their kisses and always felt safe in his arms. This was different. She thought she made the ultimate sacrifice when she volunteered to take Prim's place at the Reaping, but considering the black scrap of fabric in her hands, Katniss wasn't so sure. She handled the arena with wit and grace under pressure, so sleeping with someone should be easy, right?

Except it wasn't as anything abstract as sleeping with  _someone,_ it was sleeping with Peeta. Strong, steady, kind Peeta who had already given her far too much: the bread when they were children, offered his life in exchange for hers in the arena, and now his freedom. By tying his life to hers he was giving up everything. Didn't she owe him everything in return?

Her racing thoughts were interrupted when Peeta walked through the bathroom door.

"Katniss? I knocked and knocked. Is something wrong?' His eyes widened when he saw the black silk in her hands and the rose on the counter in front of her. Immediately he sat her down on the edge of the tub before running the bath and turning on every faucet in the room. He wanted to speak freely and knew that as long as they were in Snow's mansion they had better be careful.

He grabbed the rose and his eyes scanned the note. He immediately understood Katniss' horrified expression. Ice water replaced the hot blood that been coursing through his veins just moments before.

"He's sick Katniss. He's just taunting you. He knows how uncomfortable all of this makes you," he said motioning at the lingerie still clutched in Katniss' fingers and then back and forth between the two of them.

"Everyone expects it to happen, Peeta. Eventually they'll want us to have children. The Child of Two Victors, of the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12. Can't you see it?" What began in anger ended in a defeated sob as Katniss began crying in earnest.

"I don't expect it Katniss. I don't expect anything. I won't do that to you." His heart was breaking as he watched her in pain. The strongest girl in the world reduced to sobs and it was all his fault.

"It's not you Peeta, it's them! It's Snow and the Capitol and even the people of Panem! It's their fault too even if they don't know it!" Katniss was near hysterics and Peeta gently lowered her to floor before rising to turn off the running water before it could overflow.

She slowly began to recover herself. "I'm sorry Peeta. I'm sorry you're in this mess with me."

Peeta looked her in the eyes and told her, "There's nowhere I'd rather be than by your side. No matter the circumstances." He offered her a smile and was pleased when she tried to return it. It was just a crinkling of her eyes, but in her state Peeta would take what he could get.

"Why don't you take a bath? You'll feel better after. More like yourself."

Katniss wasn't sure if she'd ever feel like herself again, but she bobbed her head in agreement. Peeta left the room and she lowered herself into the warm water. Sinking deeper and deeper until her entire body was submerged. Her hearing and eyesight were distorted, but Katniss had always kind of liked the sensation. She first discovered it when her father would take her swimming in their lake. Maybe she'd take Peeta there one day. She wondered if he knew how to swim.

She finished washing herself and scrubbed her face before coming out of the bathroom in a large, white robe that enveloped her slender frame. Peeta knew it was the robe intended for him but didn't say a thing. He wanted to chuckle when he saw how it dragged on the ground by a few inches but it caught in his throat as the robe slipped from Katniss' shoulder. She hastily righted it but not before he caught a glimpse of her collarbone and the barest swell of her breast.

She cleared her throat, snapping him back to reality. "Peeta they didn't give me anything else to sleep in and I can't…I can't bring myself to wear  _that_. Do you have anything I could wear?" She asked shyly, averting her eyes.

"Umm, well, I just have the one set. But how about you wear the tops and I wear the bottoms?"

It was the furthest state of undress she had ever been in Peeta's presence and Katniss felt oddly unnerved by the intimacy of wearing his clothes. She took the top from him and walked back into the bathroom to change. The top was soft and large enough to reach mid-thigh so she didn't feel incredibly exposed. She adjusted the collar and was welcomed by the scent of cinnamon and dill and something else indefinable.  _Peeta_.

She paused on her way back to the bed. He had also begun to change and it was the first time Katniss had seen Peeta shirtless. She noticed that he had recovered all the muscle mass he lost during the games. In fact his shoulders seemed even broader, the rest of his body firmer and more sculpted. He was the picture of health and vitality. She swore to keep him that way.

He excused himself to shower as Katniss settled into bed. She was nervous and anxious. He said he didn't expect anything but they were married now. Would things be different? What if he wanted to do more than hold her while they slept? Katniss fell asleep worrying about things that never came to pass. When Peeta climbed into bed that night he simply wrapped his arms around her and gave his bride a chaste kiss on the forehead before sleep claimed him as well.

* * *

The next morning Katniss awoke to a strange sensation of heat coursing through her body. She felt limbs tangled with hers and a warm hand resting lightly on her backside. She shifted her legs slightly to lean in to his unconscious touch when she felt his hardness against her. Without thinking she pressed against him, eliciting a sleepy moan from Peeta. His sounds made her remember the sensation of hunger she first felt during their kiss in the cave. His hand gripped her more tightly and instinctively Katniss opened her legs, allowing him access. He moved against her in a slight grinding motion and it was Katniss' gasp that brought them fully awake. To the reality of what they were doing.

Peeta rolled away slightly, but still clutched her to his chest. He ran his hands through his disheveled hair and yawned before whispering, "Good morning, Mrs. Mellark." He smiled at her sleepily. Katniss smiled back but not before thinking that she and Peeta were playing a very different, but no less dangerous, game.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Blue. All Katniss could focus on were the blue eyes, lips, and hair of Caesar Flickerman. She wondered dryly what color he will transition to before the next games since this interview nears the end of Capitol celebrations for the 74th Hunger Games. The games she and Peeta won. Together. Was it that victory that bound them? Last night's ceremony? Or something else entirely? Before Katniss could finish that thought her attention was drawn back to the interview.

"It's a shame you didn't catch the garter," Peeta said in mock solemnity.

"Why is that?" Caesar asked, clearly excited.

"Because it would have matched perfectly," he motioned to Caesar's powder blue appearance.

Caesar asked the audience, "What do you think? Would it work? I could wear it right," he placed his hands around his thigh, "here." As always Peeta and Caesar make a great team, the audience eating out of their hands.

"How have you been enjoying your stay in the Capitol? It's a bit different this time around, right?"

"We've been treated well. The splendor of the Capitol is unmistakable."  _Clever Peeta._  His answer sounded like flattery but Katniss knew better. People throughout the districts were struggling, with no food in their bellies or clothes on their backs yet she and Peeta had to sit here in the lap of luxury and pretend to be grateful. It was exhausting.

Despite her annoyance Katniss was almost thankful the interview focused more on their wedding than the events of the Victory Tour. She didn't want to think about what happened in Eleven or remember what it was like to face the families of those she killed. Instead Caesar expertly maneuvered her and Peeta through any conversational landmines that could have come from talking about winning a fight to the death. Not to mention then having the gall to gush about falling in love during the whole ordeal.

"So Katniss, Peeta, any plans for the future?"

Katniss didn't understand. They did it, they got married. All she wants to do is go back to Twelve and live the rest of her life in peace and quiet away from prying eyes and cameras.

"Well Caesar, there are our talents of course but I think Katniss and I are just going to enjoy marital bliss for a while." Peeta kissed her on the temple and the crowd awed at Peeta's adoring answer.

Katniss never sees these things coming and she hates herself for it. So when Caesar clarifies that he's asking if she and Peeta plan on starting a family any time soon she is nearly unable to mask her stunned and horrified expression.  _They can't possibly…we're still children ourselves_. Thankfully Peeta recovered quickly, "We're still very young yet Caesar. I think that's something we'll think about in the future."

Katniss knew she had to say something before Panem started voting on baby names for a child she would never conceive. "Yes Caesar, I think I'm just going to be selfish and keep Peeta to myself for a while." Katniss felt satisfied with that answer, it sounded like something Peeta would say and it seemed like the crowd approved. With that question the interview began to wrap up quickly but not before President Snow made a sudden appearance.

He congratulated them on their victory and their marriage, praising them for the glory they had brought to their district. "You have captured the heart of the nation. Panem is as in love with you as you are with each other." Katniss could read through every line of the President's speech for it echoed sentiments he relayed to her only months ago. A spark had caught and Katniss was responsible for it, if she steps out of line again the fragile nation could collapse. Lives would be lost, families broken, and it would be all her fault. So Snow is telling them in no uncertain terms that the show must go on. Katniss and Peeta must always appear the deliriously happy couple, so as to keep the people contained. "You have reminded Panem that the Hunger Games are what bind us. The hope that by the grace of the Capitol one can go from a tribute to a victor."

Snow continued, "We wait to see what becomes of your union. And just know, any child of yours would be a child of Panem's." Katniss sees his puffy pink lips form the words but is disbelieving. He almost sounds kind, benevolent and congratulatory. As if he was Grandpa Snow awaiting a bundle of joy. But he isn't. So while the Capitol swoons, Katniss is terrified. What Snow is saying is that any children she and Peeta have would inevitably be a tribute in the Hunger Games. "We'll anticipate the happy news." Only it would not be happy news. Unlike other parents, she and Peeta wouldn't have 18 years of agonizing uncertainty. They would have a much heavier cross to bear, a worse fate. Their child would be born with a target on its back. The only question would be when? At what age? The tender age of twelve like Rue? Or would they wait until eighteen to heighten the anticipation? Katniss grew sick at the thought.

She would  _never_  have a child in the games. She would rather go in the games again herself.

That evening the train ride back to Twelve was subdued. Katniss was mulling over the President's speech. She was also avoiding Peeta. After this morning she couldn't look him directly in the eye. Nothing like that had ever transpired between them before and it scared her. It scared her because intimacy would lead to children. She was even more scared by how much she had wanted to pursue the searing heat and gentle touches. A spark was lit within her and she had wanted the flames to engulf her. Waking in Peeta's arms that way made her feel warm and soft and more feminine than she had in her entire life. It was confusing. Katniss decided it was best to avoid the situation all together.

At first she had been thankful that she and Peeta were not alone together on the train. Haymitch had stayed behind for their interview and Effie was escorting them back to Twelve. Apparently, she would be there for a few weeks to help them transition to into their new public life as husband and wife.

_Husband and wife._

Currently, Katniss couldn't even look at her  _husband._  What's worse, Haymitch couldn't stop looking between the two of them. "So the interview went well," he stated. "Obviously Snow and Flickerman were hinting at a baby but you've got loads of time before they'll really start itching for one. You'll get mileage out of the wedding. Then there'll be the Quell and they'll have a new crop of tributes and a victor to fawn over. Doesn't mean you'll be in the clear. Your popularity isn't likely to wane anytime soon, but like I've said, we've got time."

" _We've_ got time? I don't see them trying to make you have a baby!" Katniss couldn't help it, after everything she had already given she felt like they wanted more.

"Obviously, Sweetheart. They want you two to make babies," he said pointing his dinner fork back and forth between her and Peeta, nearly dislodging a piece of steak as he did it. Katniss was frustrated and knew she wouldn't be able to hold off a blush for long. "Have you even started trying yet?" He smirked behind his wine glass.

"HAYMITCH!" Effie and Katniss yelled at the same time.

Peeta, who had been quiet the whole evening, finally spoke, "I don't think any of this really warrants discussion. We've done the best we can. Thank you all for dinner but I'm tired now and think I'll retire for the evening." With that he left the dining car.

"I'll take that as a no," Haymitch muttered under his breath.

Hours later, after delaying going to bed for as long she could, Katniss entered their cabin. Peeta was lying on his side, facing the window that showed a blurry view of the districts as they sped by. She listened to see if he was sleeping and was comforted by the soft sounds of his rhythmic breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest. His bare chest, she realized. She wasn't sure if this was going to be routine or not, but she supposed she couldn't really tell Peeta how to dress just for the sake of her nerves.

Katniss dressed for bed, thankful to see the return of her normal sleepwear, and lay down on the bed far from Peeta. She wanted to sleep as they had been the last few weeks on the tour. She wanted to be held by him but was too nervous after what happened that morning. Her mind was turning, anticipating their return home and she couldn't help but wonder what life would be like now.

She thought back to their initial return from the games. It had been strained and awkward. She and Peeta hardly knew each other before the games. Their only connection had been the bread. They didn't know how to be around each other without the construct of the games. They would trust each other with their lives but couldn't even hold a conversation. They simply didn't know how to  _be_ together, especially around their families and the people of Twelve. And of course Katniss had made everything that much harder by admitting her true feelings—or lack thereof. She had never broken anyone's heart before. Then again no one's heart had ever been hers to break, but she knew the moment it happened. There had been a shift in Peeta. He seemed to shut down. The light and warmth she had come to expect from him was replaced by a veneer of polite indifference. They had lived like that for months until Snow arrived at her house, issuing threats.

She swears the smell of blood and roses still lingers in the study of her house, a constant reminder of his presence and the day they laid all their cards on the table. Snow had confessed his tenuous hold on Panem but also the lengths he would go keep it. His threats against Prim, Peeta, and Gale had been all the incentive she needed to uphold her end of the bargain; she would put out the fire she had started.

Unable to sleep she tossed and turned, clutching the sheets in remembrance of that fateful day and everything that transpired after.

* * *

_Katniss left her home shortly after President Snow's hovercraft. She wanted to seek Peeta out and tell him what happened but knew she couldn't. She had already given up all her rights to him. So instead she walked over to Haymitch's filthy house. It was probably a better idea anyway, he had years more experience dealing with the Capitol._

_They disguised their conversation as a stroll around the district. As soon as Katniss finished relating the story to Haymitch they went back to his place where he immediately called Peeta with a phone Effie had made sure was repaired should she ever call with "important Capitol business."_

_Chills ran through Katniss when Peeta entered the room. She didn't understand how someone could look better and worse at the same time. He had gained weight but the lines around his face failed to recede and there were dark circles under his eyes—the same circles she recognized from her own reflection. She felt a pang of remorse knowing she was the cause of his distress. However, Haymitch paid their chilly reunion no mind and quickly began formulating a plan._

" _I knew it was risky, what we did with the 'Star-Crossed Lovers' bit but when someone gives you an inch you two sure take a mile don't ya? Look, Sweetheart here got a house call from the President himself and it seems like things have only gotten worse since we left the Capitol. And we have to fix it fast, or else…"_

_When Peeta spoke it was the first time Katniss had heard his voice since their return. Had it always been that deep and smooth? She didn't know. But she knew the icy edge to it was new and it was all because of her._

" _Well do you have another brilliant plan to get us out of this, mentor?"_

" _Don't be such an ass with me, boy. Scowls don't look nearly so pretty on you as they do on her. My plan worked last time, remember? You're both still alive." At this Haymitch began wandering around his kitchen for a bottle._

" _At what cost? Katniss has to 'convince' President Snow of a love for me that doesn't exist? We live a lie forever?"_

" _What do you mean? We just have to make it through the Victory Tour and then we'll be fine." Katniss tried to sound reassuring but stopped short when both men looked at her with pitying glances._

_Haymitch started first, "No. It's not just the tour. The tour is only the beginning. Think, Sweetheart, what do victors do?"_

_Katniss was at a loss. Victors didn't do anything. There were freed from all obligations of school or work. Slowly though, Katniss understood._

" _They mentor." Peeta's voice was heavy, weighted down with thoughts of all the tributes they would lose, games they would see, lies they would live._

" _Every year for the rest of your lives you two will be paraded before Panem. Every year they'll play your greatest hits, so to speak. They'll never forget. You two have no choice but to live happily ever after."_

_The room was quiet until Katniss finally spoke, her tone surprisingly even, her words surprisingly sure. "We should get married."_

_Peeta sputtered, "What?"_

" _The sooner the better…"Haymitch began._

" _No," Peeta whispered._

_Haymitch continued on as though he hadn't spoken. "We still have a couple months until the Victory Tour, I'm sure Effie could throw some ridiculous Capitol celebration together by then."_

" _NO!" Peeta's eyes were hard and fierce. "No." His voice was pained and disbelieving. He looked to Katniss, he seemed to be searching for something. She didn't know if he found it or not but he turned to leave. He weaved a little, still adjusting to his prosthetic. "I won't do it."_

_After Peeta left Katniss turned to Haymitch, "I don't understand, I thought he wanted this."_

" _He wanted it to be real. Give him time. He'll come around. That boy always does the right thing."_

" _If he's so perfect why didn't you try saving him instead of me?"_

" _I saved you both, didn't I?"_

" _That's not what I meant and you know it."_

" _I don't know. Sometimes I really don't know." They stood in silence while Haymitch continued to nurse his bottle. Eventually Katniss rose to leave but not before Haymitch called out to her, "You could do a lot worse, you know."_

_Katniss went back to her routine. She hunted with Gale, spent time with Prim, and didn't even mind working on her "talent" since it mostly just meant phone calls with Cinna. Apparently Katniss had no talents—besides killing things—and that just wasn't acceptable. So they devised a plan in which she would apprentice Cinna and present his work as her own collection during the Victory Tour._

_Katniss found out Peeta's official talent was painting. She was admittedly curious; she had never seen his work. Though she imagined that if his paintings were anything like his cakes they would be magnificent._

_In fact, she decided that with Prim's birthday approaching she would finally order one of those cakes. It's not like they couldn't afford it with her victor's winnings. Besides now that she and Peeta had broken their stalemate she needed to see him again. It was a lingering side effect of the arena, she determined, this need to see him and know that he was safe._

_She so rarely walked through the bakery front doors as a paying customer. More often than not she made all her trades in the back with Peeta's father. So when the bell dinged as she walked through the door Katniss felt an odd sense of pride._

" _Welcome to Mellark's Bakery, how can I help—you." Peeta's question became an accusation as soon as he realized who his customer was, but Katniss would not be deterred. Excitement was a rare emotion for her and she was genuinely excited at the prospect of Prim's cake._

" _I came here for a cake."_

" _A cake?"_

" _Yeah for Prim's—"_

" _Birthday." Peeta finished for her._

_Katniss nodded in reply._

" _What kind of cake do you want?"_

" _I don't know. I know nothing about cake except how to eat it." That response earned her a smirk from Peeta.  
_

" _Well it depends on the size, the flavor, the decorations…" he continued but Katniss interrupted._

" _I trust you."_

" _What?" Peeta seemed taken aback by her statement._

" _I trust you…with Prim's cake. You know more about this than I ever will. As long as you make it I'm sure it'll be fine."_

_He just stared at her a moment before continuing. He tried to remain cool and professional but she could see the excitement bubbling under the surface as he contemplated Prim's cake. He grabbed some paper and began sketching, asking a few questions here and there. Katniss didn't know what exactly he had in mind but she could tell by the light in his eyes it would be magical._

_She knew Peeta could only give her the cold shoulder for so long. By the end of their meeting they could regard each other as friends. As he placed cheese buns in a box for her to take home she got to her other matter of business._

" _Peeta, why'd you say no?"_

_If it weren't for the slight shake that ran through his body Katniss would have thought he hadn't heard her. But he did. He was just choosing to ignore her._

" _Peeta…"  
_

_He looked her dead in the eye, "No Katniss."_

" _Isn't this what you wanted?"_

" _No, Katniss. I never wanted this." He handed her the cheese buns and leaned against the counter. "And more importantly it's not what you want."_

" _What I want is to keep everyone safe."_

_His voice was strained, his eyes apologetic. "I can't."  
_

_Katniss wanted to argue more but Peeta made his way back into the kitchen, though not before she caught sight of the tears in his eyes._

_She returned home stunned to find Haymitch sitting at her kitchen table helping Prim with her arithmetic._

" _What are you doing here?" She asked gruffly. She was drained after confronting Peeta._

" _I come bearing news. I talked to Cinna. He's already working on your dress."  
_

" _A dress for what?" Prim asked as she erased an incorrect answer._

" _Nothing Little Duck. Just something for the Victory Tour." She faced Haymitch, "Need help stumbling home?"_

" _Throw in two cheese buns and I'm gone."_

" _Deal. I'll be back for dinner Prim."_

" _Okay." The girl replied distractedly, completely focused on the task before her._

_They were at Haymitch's door before Katniss spoke again, "First off, don't talk about any of this in front of my mother and sister. They can't know what's going on yet. Second, I won't need a dress if I don't have a groom!"_

" _You tried talking to him again didn't you?" Haymitch sounded disappointed but not surprised._

_Her guilty expression said it all._

" _Listen Sweetheart, you're asking him to give up a lot. It'll take some time for him to come around."_

" _And I'm not giving up a lot?" Katniss was incredulous._

" _Don't get your panties in a twist. No one doubts your sacrifice, but the boy is different. He isn't like you and me. He has dreams you know. He wants marriage and family and all that. Like I said, just give him some time. That foolish boy will do anything for you. He'll marry you. He's too good not to."_

_Katniss let his words sink in. Haymitch was right. Whatever she sacrificed by marrying Peeta was nothing compared to what it would cost him. He survived the arena with his goodness intact; she hoped he could survive this too._

_On Prim's birthday Peeta arrived at her house with a large pink pastry box in tow. He also carried plain sugar cookies and frosting in every imaginable color._

" _What's this?" Katniss asked, gesturing to the cookies._

" _You always said that Prim liked to admire the cakes in the shop window. I thought I could give her some decorating lessons for her birthday…If that's alright with you?"_

" _That's a great idea Peeta." He smiled sweetly at her approval. "How much do we owe you for the cake anyways?"_

" _Nothing."_

" _Peeta—" She wasn't in the mood for his excessive generosity. She had commissioned a cake like any other customer and now she would pay for it. The last thing she wanted was to be more indebted to Peeta Mellark than she was already._

" _It's a gift Katniss. Consider all of this my birthday gift to Prim." He said motioning to the cookies and the cake hidden in the pink box._

_She groaned, "Fine, can I at least see the cake?"_

" _No. You have to wait for the party like everybody else." He was teasing her and _he knew this would try her patience but Katniss could tell by the smirk on his face that he enjoyed it_._

" _Fine. It's one thing to say no to me, but you try saying no to the birthday girl and we'll see if you're smiling then." Katniss taunted Peeta as she walked upstairs to Prim's room._

" _Hey Little Duck, you've got a birthday visitor."_

" _Are the Hawthornes here already? Aren't they a little early for dinner?"_

_"Nope. Not even close. Why don't you go downstairs and find out?" Prim trotted down the stairs excitedly_.

_Prim squealed when she saw Peeta and ran into his arms. He picked her up into a sweeping hug and placed her back down. Apparently while Katniss and Peeta had been avoiding each other like plague these past few months Prim had made it her personal mission to acquaint herself with their new neighbor. Katniss didn't have a clue until the day President Snow made his appearance._

_They quickly set out the supplies and began decorating cookies while chatting animatedly. Katniss couldn't help but notice how with their blonde hair, blue eyes, and wide smiles that they looked far more like siblings than she and Prim ever would. They looked like a happy big brother and little sister. She realized that if their insane plan worked they soon would be._

_Eventually the Hawthornes arrived for Prim's birthday dinner. All through the meal Katniss' mind was occupied as she ate bread made by Peeta and game shot by Gale._

_Later, when the cake was unveiled it was the most marvelous thing Katniss had ever seen. She couldn't have even imagined this cake, let alone made it with her own two hands._

_It was Lady, Prim's goat, grazing in the meadow._

_The cake was the color and texture of grass and wildflowers. She could see each blade of grass and every petal as if they had sprouted from the cake as if it were soil. The goat, made of molded chocolate, looked so life-like Katniss wouldn't have been surprised to hear it bleat._

_Prim had never been more excited or dazzled in her life. The hug she gave Peeta in thanks nearly knocked him over._

" _Peeta, it's amazing! It looks exactly like the meadow. I keep thinking it'll taste like grass."_

" _I promise you it won't. It's all edible."_

" _Really Peeta, this is remarkable" Katniss said. Their eyes held for a moment. The air between them vibrating with intensity until they looked away._

" _Well, you know frosting," he joked, "The final defense of the dying. It's not exactly as useful as hunting…"_

" _No it's not," Gale said snidely._

" _Look I better go, it's getting late and I don't want to impose on a…" Peeta paused looking around, his eyes taking in everyone in the room staying on Gale just a second longer than the rest. "Family celebration."_

_He grabbed his coat and was out the door faster than Katniss would have thought with his new leg._

" _Peeta, wait!" Katniss called behind his back._

_She caught up with him in the yard of one of the empty victor's houses, "Thank you." She leaned in quickly and gave him an impulsive kiss on the cheek before bidding him goodnight._

_Perhaps because they had such a joyful and wonderful day celebrating Prim's birthday that Katniss was haunted by her worst nightmares yet. She was back in the arena at the Cornucopia when she saw Cato running from the muttations. Only these weren't the same mutts she remembered. The eyes and coats were different. With horror Katniss saw Gale's Seam grey eyes stare out at her as he tore into Cato's flesh. She scrambled to the top of the Cornucopia as a small, golden-haired mutt with bright blue eyes clawed at her legs, barely missing its target. Then a much larger mutt, also with golden hair, attacked her swiftly knocking her from the Cornucopia. She moved to run but froze in place when she saw the mutt's eyes. They were bright and blue, but not the pale, cornflower blue of the smaller mutt. No, as his claws and teeth sank into her, Katniss looked into the mutt's midnight blue eyes. Peeta's eyes _—_ and he was tearing her limb from limb while her darling sister, her Prim, picked at the scraps._

_Katniss' screams were loud, frantic, horrifying—and Peeta heard them from his bedroom three houses down before he came running to the Everdeen's home. Prim's eyes were begging him to help as he entered the darkened house. In the bedroom, Mrs. Everdeen sat by her daughter's side. All her years of healing couldn't help her daughter's haunted dreams._

" _Oh, you came. She won't wake Peeta. We keep trying and trying but she won't wake up. She just keeps screaming. I'm afraid if we don't wake her soon she'll go into shock."_

_"She screamed for you," Prim chimed in. "At first she was screaming my name so I came running but then she just started saying your name over and over. Now it's just…this." Prim didn't have words to describe the agonizing sounds emanating from her sister._

_Peeta gently settled next to Katniss and began quietly murmuring in her ear. He told her to wake up, that she was dreaming, that none of it was real. He felt the sweat on her body as he clutched her tightly. He positioned himself behind her, cradling her as he did in the sleeping bag in the cave. Soon her screaming stopped but she woke up crying; heavy, painful sobs wracking her small frame._

_All she managed to say was, "Mutts…you...Prim…blue eyes…" and he understood. He remembered the shock, disgust, and dread he felt when he realized the mutts were designed to mirror the fallen tributes. He could only imagine how painful it must have been for Katniss to have seen the people closest to her in that way._

_He didn't try to tell her everything was okay. Things would never be okay again, but that was the price they paid as victors. So he told her that it was all a nightmare and that she was safe, that everyone she loved was safe._

_But for how long?_

" _Peeta?" Her red, tear-rimmed eyes asked him a question and in that moment he could deny her nothing. He would give everything to protect this beautiful girl in his arms. He would even sell his soul in a deal with devil himself. A devil with snow-white hair and blood-stained breath._

_He cradled Katniss closer to him, took a deep breath and said the words she needed to hear. "Yes, Katniss. I'll do it. I'll marry you." Katniss relaxed enough to sleep._

_Soon after Peeta went over to Haymitch's house. He walked in, poured himself a drink, and downed it without saying a word. When he looked up, there stood his mentor at the stop of the stairs. Haymitch's eyes were swimming in drink but surprisingly clear. "You said yes, didn't you?"_

" _I said yes." Peeta wiped his nose as the liquor continued its smooth, coursing burn through his system._

" _I won't congratulate you, boy. But I will join you in a toast." Haymitch ambled through his messy house, deftly navigating as only an experienced drunk could, and sat beside Peeta at the table. He took the bottle from the younger man's hands and poured them both a drink._

" _To staying alive. Even if it kills you."_


	4. Chapter 4

Their return to District 12 would be marked by a series of occasions beginning with dinner at Mayor Undersee's house and ending with a celebratory rally at the Harvest Festival. Katniss and Peeta were shuffled directly from the train station to the Mayor's house to be prepped for their formal homecoming to District 12 as not only victors, but newlyweds.

Katniss was delighted to see Madge again as they had grown closer since her return from the games. Katniss had been clueless as to how to plan a Capitol wedding but since Madge was the Mayor's daughter she knew a great deal more about Capitol traditions—she also had remarkable taste according to Effie—so she helped Katniss immensely during the planning process.

The entire time Katniss was being dressed for dinner Madge kept stealing curious glances her way until she was fed up enough to finally ask, "What is it Madge? Have I suddenly sprouted horns or something? Why are you staring at me?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering is all." She answered vaguely, her eyes looking anywhere but Katniss' face.

"Wondering what?" Katniss asked. She really hated how politeness kept people from getting to the point.

"I was wondering if I could tell…if I could see…if you were different…now that you…you know…" Madge was blushing and Katniss had no idea why. Why would I be different? She saw me days ago.

Madge continued, this time with a sparkle in her eye. "What was it like Katniss?"

Now she was thoroughly confused. "What was what like? The wedding? You were there Madge…" Madge blushed again and Katniss understood. "Oh, you mean…Oh no, Madge we didn't…we haven't…" Katniss was now blushing too.

"Why not? You two are married now."

Katniss realized that Madge's confusion was entirely her fault. She had always just thought Madge understood it was all just part of the game—but apparently the girl still clung to some silly romantic notions.

"It's not like that between Peeta and I, we're just friends. I mean you know why we did all this don't you?" Katniss hoped she made sense.

"Yeah, I just thought…I mean…we've all seen you and Peeta kiss. I thought maybe you two had…and I was curious." Madge stopped and shook her head. "I'm sorry Katniss I didn't mean to offend you."

Katniss couldn't be upset with Madge for either her curiosity or confusion, she understood. Even she was curious about those warm, fluttery sensations she had felt in Peeta's arms the morning after their wedding.

She felt bad, she felt like she owed Madge an answer since she had worked up the courage to ask her question. "It's nice." Madge raised her eyebrows. "All we've ever done is hold each other while we sleep, because it helps with the nightmares, but it's nice. Warm. Safe." That was the best Katniss could do in the way of girl talk and she hoped Madge was satisfied.

Madge offered her a small, knowing smile before she left, telling Katniss that she looked beautiful in her floor-length silver gown.

Katniss wandered around the upstairs when the sound of a television drew her into Mayor Undersee's office. It was broadcasting footage from the wedding, lingering on the kisses and tossing of the garter.

"You were definitely a blushing bride." Katniss was surprised to hear Peeta's voice. How had he been able to sneak up on me?

"Do you think the rest of Panem is as sick of this as we are?" She asked, motioning to the television.

Before Peeta could answer the screen flashed, making a droning beeping sound and they knew that this wasn't meant for their eyes. It was meant for Mayor Undersee but they watched in horror as images of the chaos in District 8 flashed across the screen. Textile production had ceased and the burning square was packed with rioting citizens being brutalized by Peacekeepers.

Katniss knew that this was the uprising they were supposed to prevent. She wondered how they had failed so completely but before she could say anything Peeta pulled her out of the room. She heard hurried footsteps and thought that surely they'd be caught—until Peeta pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

This wasn't a calm and gentle peck for the cameras. This was passionate and frantic and desperate. Somehow Katniss understood what Peeta was doing. He was protecting her, protecting them. Surely the Mayor wouldn't suspect a thing if they were caught up in such a passionate embrace. So she kissed him harder, pushing him back against the wall away from the Mayor's study.

Katniss wove her hands into Peeta's blond curls and he clutched her waist tighter, their lips moving in perfect rhythm until they heard Mayor Undersee clear his throat.

He smiled briefly. "It's okay. I remember what it's like to be young and in love. Now why don't you two straighten up and make your way downstairs? I have some business I must attend to quickly."

Peeta smiled sheepishly and thanked the Mayor for his kindness and understanding before wiping Katniss' lipstick off his mouth. He ran his hands through his hair trying to get it back to some semblance of order while Katniss straightened her dress. Before descending the stairs he gripped her hand, looked her in the eyes and in a stern voice said, "We saw nothing."

Katniss decided it was best to play his game, "I know. We were busy." She grinned devilishly and walked down the stairs. Peeta couldn't help but admire her spirit—and the way her hips swayed from side to side in that dress.

Later that night Katniss and Peeta were escorted home in the Mayor's car—the only car in District 12. As Peeta unlocked the door to what would now be their house he handed her a key. The gesture seemed to make him uncommonly nervous.

He smiled. "My home is your home."

They made their way upstairs. Effie had informed them that while they were away on the Victory Tour Prim and her mother had moved all her stuff into Peeta's house, so that it would be ready for them when they returned.

Peeta led her to a room at the end of the hallway. Katniss paused outside the door; she had never been in his bedroom before. Now it was their bedroom. She looked around and noted that the touches her mother and sister had added complemented, rather than contrasted with, the simple masculinity of the room. She was a bit disturbed that their things blended together so seamlessly. It almost looked as if they had always shared this room. Except for the large, untouched bed in the middle.

Katniss was still staring at the bed when Peeta spoke. "It's the same layout as your house. Except that I use Prim's room as my studio. It gets the best light."

She smiled, that was exactly why Prim had chosen the same corner bedroom in her house: it was the brightest.

"Can I see it?" She asked suddenly.

He ran his hands through his hair before answering. "What, you mean my studio? I thought you hated my paintings." He seemed guarded about his work and that made Katniss want to see it all the more.

"I know what I said on the train…"

"You should hate those paintings. I do." Peeta's bitterness was unmistakable and it bothered Katniss. He was the one who wore the smile while she wore the scowl. It was their way. She didn't know how to be the cheerful one, but in this moment she had to try.

"They're still extraordinary." She paused, "Do you paint anything other than the games?"

"Sometimes," he hedged.

Katniss could tell that her interest in his paintings was improving his mood so she asked again. "Please Peeta?"

He nodded and motioned for her to follow. The room smelled so strongly of paint it made Katniss wrinkle her nose but her discomfort was forgotten as soon as Peeta flicked the lights on, revealing a sea of canvas and color.

Whereas she knew Peeta to be meticulous and tidy in all other aspects of his life Katniss liked the disarray of his studio. Paint was splattered on the walls in pursuit of the perfect shade. Most recently grey, it seemed. Canvasses and easels were scattered across the room, some covered and others left bare. There were paintings of everything. Everything Peeta saw and felt was captured in paintings and sketches strewn about the room. There were those of the games that she had seen on the train but others she knew not of: waves crashing on the shore in District 4, Prim playing with Buttercup, Haymitch asleep on his porch clutching a bottle in one hand and a knife in the other, his father kneading dough. Some images he captured so perfectly they looked like photographs but others were done in ways that weren't quite exact but yet more powerful still. Katniss didn't know the words to describe what Peeta had done with this drawings but she was awestruck by their intensity.

"You're truly skilled Peeta," she said as she walked around the room. She turned to face him when she stood in the exact center and saw what she knew must be his current work in progress. She went to remove the cloth covering but Peeta stopped her.

"Please don't," he said and Katniss had to wonder at the pleading tone in his voice.

She ignored his request and continued to uncover the painting. She assumed it would be another picture of her, as he drew her with embarrassing frequency. However, this wasn't another romantic portrait as she expected. It was a tree-line caught in a blazing fire. At first she thought it was the fire the Gamemakers set in the arena but upon closer inspection Katniss could see a small town consumed by the flames. It was District 12 in ruins. It made Katniss' heart ache.

"Why?" She looked at him confused.

"I told you, I paint the nightmares. I have to get it out of my head somehow." Peeta's face betrayed the guilt he felt at painting the destruction of their home.

"But this…it's not real."

Peeta stood back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and simply asked her, "Is everything you dream real?"

"No."

"Sometimes the worst nightmares are the ones that aren't real, that come from somewhere inside you. I know you understand that Katniss." She did. She immediately remembered her nightmare where Peeta, Prim, and Gale had been turned into mutts.

"You're afraid for District 12." It wasn't a question and Peeta didn't need to reply.

He moved to stand beside her and took her hands in his. "I'm afraid for everyone, you most of all."

She didn't know what to say so she said nothing.

"All I've ever known is to keep you safe and I can't help this feeling that I'm going to fail."

Katniss didn't understand her need to comfort Peeta but she didn't fight it either. So she wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug and allowed him to rest his chin on the top of her head. It was a natural, wifely gesture she supposed she could become accustomed to making.

They readied for bed that night in silence. Both thinking about what they had seen of District 8 on the television. Both fearing that its consequences would reach them here in District 12.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Katniss awoke alone in their bed. Baker's hours, she discovered, were even earlier than hunter's hours. She lingered underneath the blue comforter that smelled so strongly of Peeta and took in the way morning light filled the room and felt oddly at home. The oak furniture looked old but well preserved. It was not what came with the house; she knew this from her own house in Victor's Village. When they first arrived everything there had been sparkling and brand new, but somehow Peeta managed to blend his old furnishings with the new in a way that was just distinctly Peeta.

She grudgingly climbed out of bed and walked over to the closet. It was huge, built to house the wardrobes Portia and Cinna had designed for them. The complimentary designs of their clothes were more striking seen side by side but Katniss quickly closed the door, the intimacy of the arrangement too much for her.

She surveyed the rest of the room, from the white curtains to the glowing hardwood floors when she saw her father's leather-bound plant book sitting atop her dresser. Next to that sat a framed photograph of him wearing his hunting jacket. The hunting jacket that now hung on a coat rack downstairs. She flipped through the fading, yellowed pages remembering the man with the voice who could make birds stop to listen.

Making her way through the rest of the upstairs she noted that no photographs hung on the walls but paintings were in their place instead. They were all of safe, innocuous images that would make people feel welcome in his home. None of these paintings reflected the depth of turmoil she had scene in his studio last night. Now she understood what it had cost him to show her his work. Sometimes she wished he would deny her, refuse her; if only to protect himself.

As she descended the stairs she caught the delicious scent of cheese buns. When she found Peeta in the kitchen she offered him a twitch of her lips—her meager attempt at an appreciative smile.

"You woke early this morning," she said while putting on the tea kettle.

"I wanted to help my dad get everything ready for the Harvest Festival. It's the busiest day of the year for everyone with the street fair." Katniss nodded along, knowing full well that it was the one day of the year everyone in District 12 had food in their bellies. It was also the one day of the year where street vendors were allowed to sell their goods, so today everyone at the Hob would be allowed to set up shop legally right alongside the Merchants. "It should be especially busy today with the train arriving."

Katniss had almost forgotten that a train would arrive with a shipment of Capitol goods for District 12 as a reward for their victory but also to celebrate the wedding. Snow had promised to be especially generous.

He was going to kill them with kindness.

Katniss looked through the cupboards until she found two mugs and poured tea for herself and Peeta. She handed him a mug of sugarless tea before digging in to the cheese buns. She was on her second one before she noticed that he wasn't eating, he was simply watching her. "Aren't you eating?" she said through a mouthful of the buttery, flaky baked good.

He laughed. "No. I already ate at the bakery. These are for you."

"Um, thank you." Katniss played with the end of her braid while she continued to inhale her breakfast. It was strange to think that this was her life now. She  _lived_ with Peeta. She was  _married_  to Peeta. She had no idea how to be a  _wife_.

She looked at him closely, lowering her lashes so that she could discretely scrutinize his features. She admired how he looked in the morning light. His golden hair seemed to glow like a halo around his head and his eyes shone spectacularly. He blinked and for the first time she noticed how incredibly long and thick his eyelashes were. He looked radiant.

She then looked down to her own haphazard, freshly awoken appearance and hurriedly left the breakfast table to go get ready for the day. She wanted to wear her father's hunting jacket but couldn't since the rally would be broadcast throughout Panem. She needed to keep up appearances. Ultimately she decided on a forest green knee-length coat Cinna had designed for her instead. As she did up each of the brass buttons she noticed they were faintly etched with a replica of her mockingjay pin. Katniss worried for her brilliantly clever yet bravely stupid friend.

She finished her look with her signature braid before joining Peeta on the front porch. From there Effie would escort Katniss and Peeta to the train station. There cameras would film the happy couple welcome the supply train and ceremoniously unload and distribute the first few parcels to District 12 residents.

On the walk there Katniss turned her face to the sun, grateful for the particularly mild weather. It would make the festival that much more enjoyable. Prim joined them along the way, running in between her and Peeta and grabbing each of their hands. That's when Katniss noticed Prim's shirt sticking out of her skirt, forming the same ducktail it had on the day of the reaping. She froze. Yet before she knew it Peeta had already knelt down to adjust the young girl's outfit. He asked Prim to twirl for him just as Katniss had during her first interview with Caesar Flickerman. Her little sister didn't stop until she dizzily bumped into Peeta with a giggle. Katniss silently watched their joyful interaction, trying to soak their happiness into her bones.

When they arrived in town they were startled to see the transformation the district had undergone. The coal dust that covered everything in shades of grey had been swept away until the square almost shone. The smallest, poorest district in all of Panem gleamed with an unmistakable sheen of victory. Even if it was only temporary and only for the cameras, the people of Twelve could proudly celebrate on this day.

"Effie's been busy," Peeta remarked good naturedly.

"I guess so," Katniss smirked.

The train arrived on time and as promised the rations were double the usual allotment. According to the exclamations of a few families there were even delicacies like chocolate bundled along with the grain, oil, soap, and other provisions the Capitol usually supplied to the victorious district.

After the formal presentation of goods Mayor Undersee delivered a short speech about the history of the Harvest Festival. The rally ended with a halfhearted congratulatory round of applause for the district's newly married victors before the people dispersed to enjoy their holiday.

The square really did look wonderful. There were ribbons tied around trees and lights strung overhead. They knew the electricity would be gone tomorrow; that it was only for show today but it was nice to pretend they were a people of means. The stage where Mayor Undersee just spoke was being cleared so that a few musicians could play. It reminded Katniss of her father. The Harvest Festival never felt the same without him. She missed the sound of his voice ringing out over the Seam while he sang. He and a few other miners had always gathered around to play music for people to dance to. They still played music and the more joyful souls still danced but it was never the same. The day always rang hollow. She missed watching her parents dance while she and Prim ate the candy their parents so seldom bought for them. She missed celebrating the harvest with a family that no longer existed.

Peeta sensed her sadness as they walked around the square and determined to cheer her took her hand in his and turned to skim the aisle of vendors. They saw Greasy Sae first. Katniss smiled warmly at the old, grey-haired woman before asking if she'd had enough game to get by while she had been gone on the tour.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your young man first?" Sae just smiled at her breach in etiquette. It was strange to introduce Peeta to Sae, to mix her Seam life and her new life as a victor.

"Peeta. Peeta Mellark," he said while shaking Sae's strong, bony hand and offering her a bright smile.  _How did he do it?_ She wondered.  _How was he just as comfortable among Merchant and Seam?_

Sae gave him a good once over and nodded approvingly. "Would you like to try some wild dog stew?"

He chuckled. "Of course I would. Is it anything like squirrel stew?"

Katniss looked at him dumbfounded. She forgot that the food she traded with the baker must have fed his family as well. Then she remembered Peeta's confession that growing up his diet had mainly consisted of stale bread. Butcher meat was as rare for him as it was for her. She had always thought the baker was just being generous when he traded with her, she never truly believed her kills were the only meat his family could afford.

Greasy Sae chuckled and promised him that he'd never had anything like her wild dog stew. As she ladled them each a bowl a red-headed Peacekeeper approached.

"You sure look better than the last time I saw you, Everdeen," he teased. "Though I see you didn't take my suggestion about putting some ribbons in your hair."

"Only maidens wear ribbons in their hair." Sae interjected. "Katniss is a married woman now, Darius." She elbowed Katniss at that. She tried to return the older woman's joking smile but instead just shoved another spoonful of stew in her mouth.

"That's right. Congratulations, Mellark," he said, offering Peeta a hearty handshake.

"Thanks."

"You got one of the best gals in Twelve. A real gem."

"Put enough pressure on coal and it becomes a pearl," Peeta mumbled.

"Pardon?" Darius looked at Peeta like he'd gone out of his mind.

"Nothing." Katniss excused for Peeta, laughing at their private joke. It was amazing that they could laugh about anything from the reaping or the games. Yet, she was learning, they somehow could. Together they could laugh at the horrors and absurdities no one else understood.

When Peeta went to pay Greasy Sae refused, saying it was her small wedding gift to them. Peeta thanked her gracefully before he and Katniss moved on waving goodbye to Darius and Sae.

To her surprise Peeta wanted to stop at every stall, Merchant and Seam alike. It wasn't until after he purchased a pair of fishhooks from her old neighbor Leevy that it finally dawned on her what he was doing. He was buying something from  _every_  vendor. She pulled him aside. "What are you doing Peeta? They don't want your charity."

"It's not charity Katniss," he whispered. "They have goods. We have money. It's commerce."

"You don't even fish!" She huffed at him.

"So? Like you're ever going to wear the homemade feather earrings you bought from Bristel!" His eyes narrowed. "The only reason it bothers you, the only reason you think its charity is because I'm from town. I know that's what you think Katniss. Well in case you've forgotten we're both from Victor's Village now. So it doesn't really matter which part of the district we were born in anymore."

His logic made her breath catch in her throat. He was right. They were the same now and it was that very thing that made them different from everyone else. Everyone except Haymitch. She read the look in his blue eyes. She saw his anger but she saw something else there: determination. He was asking her to let him help how they could—and that was to quite literally share the wealth. Part of her bristled at the idea, pride was one of few things you could afford growing up in the Seam, yet she relented in the face of his unfailing kindness.

"Fine," she sighed.

He knotted their fingers together again before turning to the next vendor, Delly Cartwright. Peeta smiled at his old friend and she came around the booth to wrap him and Katniss both up in a warm, friendly hug.

"Congratulations!" She screeched in their ears.

"Thank you," Peeta said, trying to hide his amusement at Katniss' discomfort. He suspected that she would be a little off put by his  _very_  cheery childhood friend.

"It's so cute! You're a married couple out on a date!"

Katniss stared at Delly, taking in her words. Her first instinct had been to refuse but in all honesty she had no idea. She wondered idly if this is what a date was like. Was it as simple as spending time together doing normal, everyday things? She didn't know. They had gone from being strangers, to tributes, to lovers, to married so quickly it left no time for dating. She wondered how Peeta would have wooed her if given the chance. The thought made her spine tingle with a strange warmth.

To avoid talking she looked down at the wares Delly was selling. Her father owned the shoe shop and was probably one of the most successful merchants in town. She snuck glances at the jolly girl with yellow hair, brown eyes, lumpy body and pale skin. She didn't have the perfect town look like her mother or Prim but she thought that if it hadn't been for her this might have been the kind of girl Peeta would have married someday. Someone kind, someone happy, someone his mother would approve of.

Peeta and Delly chatted while Katniss selected a pair of dress shoes for Prim and new shoelaces for her hunting boots. They thanked Delly and she caught Katniss in another hug as they said goodbye, promising to see them later once she closed up shop. They made their way over to the baker's stall where Katniss found Prim gleefully icing cookies, chatting up Peeta's father and eldest brother. She looked around warily for his mother when he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, she won't show up here. She always stays at the bakery on the day of the festival. She says it's because we still get most of our business there but we all know it's because she thinks street vending is… _common_."

She didn't think the words his mother used were so kind but she accepted his version of the story. It was remarkable how Peeta could paint even his witch of a mother in decent light.

"What are you doing Little Duck?" She looked at her sister's bright smile and the cookies that lay before her. Most of the cookies were precisely frosted with emblems of the harvest, like the golden corn stalks tacked on everyone's door, but she spotted a few slightly sloppier cookies that she knew were Prim's handiwork. "You're getting pretty good at this."

"She might even put Peeta out of a job!" His eldest brother joked, ruffling Peeta's hair.

"I doubt that. You'll be the first one to retire, old man."

"Four years isn't that much older, besides you're the married man. That definitely ages you."

"Now boys," his father chimed in. "You're both acting younger than Primrose here." He smiled and patted her head affectionately before handing her a bag of cookies. "Payment for all your help today." She thanked him by throwing her arms around him in a hug. Katniss saw affection and longing in the baker's blue eyes. She was struck by the thought that if things had worked out differently Prim could have been his daughter.

At sunset all the vendors closed down and people began to congregate in the square. The fiddler played a lively, upbeat tune while everyone ate and drank their fill. Prim tapped her foot in time with the beat until Peeta bowed and gallantly asked her to dance with him. She blushed prettily and he happily escorted her to the floor. Katniss watched as he twirled Prim round and round, her white hair ribbons billowing out around her pink cheeks.

"He's such a nice boy," Effie chirped.

"He's the best," Delly offered as she sat down in the seat Prim had just vacated. She watched them on the dance floor before giving Katniss a speculative glance. "He never told a soul, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Peeta, he never told anyone how he felt about you before the games. None of us knew. I suspected that maybe he had a crush on you but I never knew that he'd liked you all our lives."

The girl had piqued her curiosity. "What made you think that?"

"I think maybe it was our first reaping. I noticed that he kept glancing over at someone in the crowd but it wasn't me or his brothers. The next year I realized it was you and every year after he would watch you during the reaping as if he could keep you safe by willing it so. Other than that I never would have known."

Delly paused before asking her question, "Did you know?"

Katniss was tongue-tied. "No—I—no…We never…how could I?" The blonde girl rose before she could find an answer to her question. Delly offered her a parting smile over her shoulder as she joined her brother for some cider.

_Did I know? Could I have known? No. We never talked. There was nothing between us but the bread._

Katniss looked back over to where they were dancing and Peeta offered her a wave over Prim's head.

_Was that look in his eyes always there? Maybe, just maybe there had always been something about the boy with the bread…_

Katniss was making her way over to Prim and Peeta when she spied Gale on the opposite side of the square. She wanted to greet the friend she hadn't seen since her wedding day. As she approached him she took in his uncharacteristically sloppy appearance and that his moves were less graceful than normal. In fact he was bobbing and weaving a bit like Haymitch… _Oh no._

"Gale Hawthorne, are you drunk?"

He turned and offered her a lazy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Eyes that were glassy and slightly unfocused.

"Didn't you know Catnip? They included champagne on that shipment of fancy Capitol goods. Put a bottle in every parcel  _in honor_  of your marriage." He raised a glass of the bubbly golden liquid to his lips and drank deeply. "The rest of the year we're starving but they thought we might want champagne to toast our victors. It would be funny if it weren't so damn disgusting."

Katniss was stunned. She had never in her life seen Gale drink alcohol. It was a luxury for which they never had the means or necessity. She imagined it could be amusing if it weren't also highly idiotic. Gale was prone to run his mouth against the Capitol and she didn't think it would be any easier to silence his tirade now with alcohol loosening his lips.

Frustration with her best friend's stupidity coursed through her and she breathed deeply to calm her fraying nerves. When she finally spoke to him it was through gritted teeth, "I'm sorry it offended you Gale, but no one forced you to drink it."

"That's right Catnip.  _You_ have to be forced into doing everything. The Capitol demands a tribute and you volunteer, the Capitol demands a wedding and you do it. What's next? The Capitol demands a baby and you have one?"

She paled at the accusation.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. "I saw your interview with Caesar Flickerman. I'm not stupid! I know what's coming. President Snow issues a command and you follow. You're an obedient little victor, aren't you now?"

He looked her dead in the eye as he asked, "What happened to the girl on fire?"

His words hurt but not as much as if someone were to overhear his treasonous outburst. She had to protect him from himself. "Dammit Gale!" She whispered forcefully. "You can't talk like that here. Not in the square where anyone can hear you, save it for the woods."

He moved in closer, his face hovering above hers. "You were supposed to be mine," he breathed out. She could smell the sharp and sweet scent of the alcohol on his breath. "We're the same Catnip, two Seam brats defying the odds." It pained her to hear the agony in his slurred voice.

People began to stare at the spectacle when Peeta intervened, "Listen Gale I think you should go home."

"Back off  _loverboy_." He snarled at Peeta before tightening his grip on Katniss' wrist. She felt trapped and didn't know what to do. She didn't want to hurt Gale but they couldn't talk like this in front of the entire district, in front of the cameras.

Katniss took in the two men before her; it was Gale's raging fire against Peeta's icy exterior. "I know this has been rough on everyone but this is hardly the time or place."

"Has it really been rough on you with Katniss sleeping in your bed every night? Isn't this  _exactly_ what you wanted when you declared your love for her, Mellark?" He looked back to Katniss, "Why couldn't it have been me? We were partners, best friends. I can protect you too.  _I_  don't have Capitol replacement parts."

She could see Peeta's calm demeanor falter at the barb. They didn't talk about his leg but she knew it bothered him. That he felt like something was missing; that he worried he'd never be as fast or strong or able-bodied again. Katniss was outraged at Gale's uncharacteristic cruelty.

She erupted. "He lost his leg fighting for his life you jackass! He lost it trying to save mine! I'm  _proud_ of him." She tore her arm from his grasp. "You can't even begin to understand what we went through. We survived hell and his leg is a reminder of that, of  _our victory_."

Katniss started to walk away when Gale turned to Peeta, shoving a finger in his chest and snidely saying, "At least the Capitol didn't shove me down her throat." She winced at the crude imagery.

She saw the savage look in Peeta's eyes and feared that this might escalate into an all-out brawl. She didn't want Peeta to get hurt just because of Gale's drunken stupidity.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" Peeta threatened, his body prepared to attack. Then he stopped to take a deep, calming breath.

He glanced at Katniss before stepping closer to Gale and dropping his voice to a pleading whisper. "Don't do this Gale. You're a good man. Katniss wouldn't love you if you weren't. Stop this. You're only hurting her more."

Gale sniffed and raked his eyes over Katniss once again before turning a fiery glare back to Peeta. "None of this would have happened if you had just died in the arena like you were supposed to."

"You're right. You're right but I never in a million years thought I'd survive. All I wanted to do was get Katniss home—and she is. Why can't you be happy about that?"

"Because Katniss Everdeen didn't come home, Katniss Mellark did."

Before Gale and Peeta could tear each other apart they were met by an unlikely savior.

Haymitch put his arm around Gale's shoulder before stumbling off with him. It was a very subtle and dexterous move that belied Haymitch's drunken state but Katniss was grateful nonetheless.

"Boy you need to learn to handle your liquor. It takes practice, trust me." His words prompted a riot of laughter and the growing crowd broke apart.

Haymitch dragged Gale over to a stricken Hazelle Hawthorne. Anger and disappointment quickly flashed in her gaze before being replaced by sympathy for her heartbroken son. Katniss wanted to apologize but she knew Hazelle would have none of it. No one forced Gale to drink the liquor or cause a scene. The headache he would have tomorrow was his own fault. She was just glad she hadn't been the one to disappoint his mother. After raising four of the most spirited children in Twelve, Hazelle Hawthorne could take down the toughest of miners with her steely gaze and sharp tongue.

Peeta and Katniss were left standing there with the weight of Gale's words settling over them. She didn't know what to do or say. She was still reeling from the accusations Gale had leveled against her.

 _What happened to the girl on fire?_ She burned out under the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She looked at Peeta and saw that he was lost in thought, his jaw working as he mulled over what Gale had said. He had been right about so many of the things he accused her of, but he was wrong to make Peeta the villain of the story. There was only one villain—one real enemy—and that was President Snow. She couldn't let the two most important men in her life turn against each other. They'd tear her apart.

How does one make peace between warring hearts?

Katniss was left to ponder the thought as she and Peeta made their way home, her mother and Prim having left as soon as the fray began.

They trudged up the stairs to their darkened bedroom. As soon as the door closed Katniss tried to apologize. She opened and closed her mouth several times before finally getting out two words. "I'm sorry."

Peeta ran a hand over his face before saying, "Don't Katniss, it's not your fault."

"But Gale shouldn't have acted out like that! It was so stupid. I don't know what he was thinking."

"I do."

She raised her brow at him. He continued, "Trust me, I understand the state he was in tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"I know how Gale feels. I saw you with him for years. Besides Prim he was the only person you ever smiled or laughed with. You were inseparable. It was painful to watch, Katniss. You still don't understand the effect you can have. That kind of pain can make a guy want to drown his sorrows."

She bristled. "So I drove Gale to drink?"

"No, Gale thinking he lost you drove him to drink. But you're not the type of woman to be lost or won Katniss."

She was bewildered by Peeta's cryptic comment and so reverted to apologizing. "He still had no right to say what he did! Not about your—your leg or anything else..." She wrung her hands. Her words were never as precise as her arrows.

He scoffed. "Did I ever tell you what my mother said? After we got back from the games she said I wasn't man enough for you. She said that you'd never want a man who wasn't whole, who couldn't protect you. She swore you'd never want me if you could have Gale."

"She's wrong Peeta. I don't want Gale."

"But you don't want me either."

"I don't know what I want," she said plaintively.

"Well, I've only ever wanted you." He closed the distance between them, taking her lips in an incredibly possessive kiss. She felt his tongue glide along her bottom lip before seeking entrance into her mouth. It was the first time Peeta had ever kissed her like this—with his tongue—and it made her weak in the knees. He brought one hand around her waist to steady her while the other wove into her braid, pulling her ever closer. She could feel his longing, all eleven years' worth, as his lips moved across hers, his tongue exploring her mouth. It was a delicious invasion.

The hunger she first felt in the cave swiftly returned full force. She felt hot and achy everywhere Peeta's body touched hers from their quivering thighs to heaving chests. She braced her hands against his chest, not to push him away but to keep herself upright. He let out a low moan when Katniss let her own tongue dart out to meet his, dancing like their bodies had done so many times before.

His lips moved from her mouth to her neck, placing hot open-mouthed kisses against her throat. Katniss let out a shaky breath when Peeta gently sank his teeth into the delicate flesh at the juncture between her neck and shoulder. He alternately sucked and nipped until she felt the spot grow tender. She knew enough from seeing boys and girls come and go from the slag heap that he'd leave his mark on her.

His hands began to roam over her form, spreading the warmth across her body at an incredibly quick pace. She whimpered when he gently cupped her backside and pressed her more fully against his body.

She was so excited that she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think and that scared her. In that moment fear of the unknown overtook her passion. So when she whispered Peeta's name he heard the confusion in her voice and stopped immediately. Katniss could see desire and apology war within his gaze but he recovered quickly, stepping away from her and running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry Katniss. I crossed a line. I—I think I'll sleep in one of the other bedrooms for now." He left the room before she could say anything. It didn't matter. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to express the physical ache she felt at the loss of contact. She wanted to tell him that she had liked his kiss, but she didn't know if that was a good idea. This kiss was unlike any of the others. She normally felt safe in Peeta's arms but this kiss felt dangerous. It felt like a prelude to something more and Katniss couldn't let that happen. She couldn't risk falling in love with the boy with bread.


	6. Chapter 6

Katniss had an incredibly fitful night's sleep. Her mind kept replaying the events of the previous evening. From Gale's drunken scene to the kiss she shared with Peeta. A kiss she still felt on her lips and in her bones. A kiss that caused her to wake from fevered dreams of bright blue eyes and strong arms with an unfamiliar slickness between her thighs.

If she thought that marrying Peeta would fix all her problems she was sadly mistaken. The Capitol was still there, hovering, ever-present, watching her every move. Gale, her best friend, could barely look at her. As for Peeta…well she had driven him out of their bedroom. She didn't have any right to ask him back. She didn't even know if she wanted to ask him back. Part of her agreed that sleeping in separate bedrooms was a wise decision. Yet another part of her had to acknowledge that peaceful sleep only came in Peeta's arms.  _Damn, being married was complicated._

She gave up on sleep long before dawn. She couldn't stand being cooped up in the Victor's Village any longer and made her way to the Seam just as the sun was coming over the horizon. It was a Sunday so the roads were clear of miners as none of them had work. It wasn't until she found herself at the weak spot in the fence that the she knew what she had to do. She retrieved her bow and arrows along the way to their meeting place. Then sat on the rock at the top of the hill for half an hour before Gale arrived, his tread slightly heavier than usual. The effects of a hangover she mused.

She rose when he approached and looked at him steadily, daring him to meet her gaze. When he finally did she could see the toll drinking had taken on him and she couldn't help but let out a laugh at his horrid appearance. His hair was mussed and sticking out in all directions. His eyes were watery and bloodshot with dark circles underneath. He didn't smell so great either.

"You look like hell."

"I feel like hell," he mumbled.

"One town drunk is enough you know. Haymitch doesn't have anything else to do. He doesn't need you to compete with."

"Thanks. I'm well aware of the evils of strong drink—now."

They stood there measuring each other, waiting to see who would break first. It was Gale.

"I'm sorry Catnip."

That was it. The "Catnip" told her what she needed to know. Maybe all wasn't forgiven but at least now they could resume the routine they had lived for years. They could hunt and roam the woods and be partners because it was who they were. Katniss was grateful for the familiar.

They checked the snare lines in companionable silence. It wasn't until halfway through their journey that Katniss saw her first target—a squirrel scurrying across a low-lying branch. She pulled back and let her arrow fly and for the first time in years she didn't hit her target spot on. Gale retrieved the game and Katniss couldn't believe she had hit it a few centimeters off from its eye. She was at a loss to explain it. She'd only been away from the forest for a month. She shouldn't be that rusty. A half-mile later she shot another arrow and again she was just slightly off.

"What the hell?" She whispered removing her arrow from the animal.

Gale looked at her pensively before finally saying, "Maybe it's your wedding ring?"

She looked at Gale, her face doubtful. "What?"

"Think about it, you've never worn jewelry before. You're probably positioning your hand differently to accommodate for the ring without even realizing it."

It was a ludicrous suggestion. Wasn't it?

She looked down at the gold band on her left hand. It wasn't a very substantial weight but she couldn't deny that she felt its presence—Peeta's presence.

"You'll probably make your shots if you take it off."

She deliberated taking the ring off her finger. Her reluctance was evident, something about the idea felt off but she needed to hunt. Gale's family was depending on them to bring home game.

She slowly removed the small band from her finger. Her eye was once again caught by the small etching inside the band. She shook her head to clear it before placing the ring securely in the breast pocket of her father's hunting jacket.

Damned if Gale hadn't been right. She made every shot the rest of the morning.

They made their way to the hole in the fence near the Hob and parted ways, letting him go off to make trades on his own. She had another stop to make in the Seam before returning to the Village.

She soon found herself at the Hawthorne's door. She could hear the sounds of Hazelle doing the wash that was how she made her living. Above that rose little Posy's laughter. She was too young yet to go on many of the boys' adventures so she stayed close to home during the day; helping her mother fold laundry or making flower garlands or snow angels, or whatever children did when they still had wild, unschooled imaginations and no obligations.

She breathed deeply before knocking, shuffling her feet in nervous apprehension. Gale wasn't the only Hawthorne she considered family—they all were—and she owed Hazelle an apology for what happened last night.

When the door opened she looked into the grey eyes of Hazelle Hawthorne. She had always felt a kinship with this strong, fierce woman. When she lost her husband in the same mining accident that took Katniss' father she had three young sons and a belly already swelling with baby Posy. Yet she still managed to keep hearth and home together and, with Gale's help, food on the table. Hazelle won her respect and affection long ago and Katniss could not jeopardize her relationship with the woman.

"Morning, honey." The older woman dried her hands on an apron and Katniss couldn't help but wince as she saw the skin cracked and bleeding a bit from the lye. "Gale's not here." She eyed Katniss' game bag. "But of course you know that."

"I know. I caught him in the forest. He's on his way to the Hob and town to make his trades. I brought you my share of the game. I don't really need it. I can clean it and dress it if you like."

"Sure child, come on in."

Katniss walked in the room and absorbed the comfort of her surroundings. This house was nearly as familiar to her as the one she had grown up in a few rows down. There were always several stacks of neatly folded laundry in the far corner and a giant basin filled with hot water and lye soap next to the fireplace. Resting above the fireplace was Hazelle Hawthorne's prize possession—a maple and ebony fiddle that had belonged to her husband. Much like Katniss' hunting jacket it had been the one thing she refused to trade or sell. No amount of food or money could replace relics of the dead.

She was broken out of her reverie by Hazelle's conversation. "So you've seen him. Didn't he look like something the cat dragged in? Foolish boy had a splitting head and an upset stomach but he still got up, fed the kids, and went out to hunt. He's a good boy my Gale but sometimes he's stubborn as a mule. I guess that's why he made a jackass of himself last night!"

Katniss couldn't hold back her laughter at this. She was afraid Hazelle would be angry or embarrassed after what happened but here the woman was hard at work the next day making jokes about her eldest son's folly as if it were nothing.

Posy came barreling in from the other room and jumped into Katniss' lap. "Katniss! Look at the dolly Prim gave me!"

The little girl's grey eyes looked silver when they lit up with joy. Her dark curls bounced in time with Katniss' knee. "It's a  _new_ doll," she whispered in awe. At the tender age of four Posy already understood the rarity of her new toy. She held the doll reverently before handing it to Katniss. It was unlike anything she had ever played with as a child. It was in pristine condition with a face made of porcelain and a body stuffed with soft cotton, as opposed to the raggedy woolen and straw makeshift dolls of her childhood. The doll's jet-black curls matched Posy's. Katniss imagined this is exactly why Prim had given the doll to the little girl. However, the absolutely most stunning feature of the doll was the forest-green velvet dress adorning it's small figure. It was the stuff of every little girl's dream.

Katniss smiled at her little sister's kindness. Gale staunchly tried to refused their "charity" but he could deny his baby sister nothing. It was moments like this, rare moments where she could genuinely appreciate the spoils of being a victor.

"What's her name? Posy?"

The little girl giggled. "Noooo! I named her Katniss because she's pretty like you."

"Thank you, Posy, but you'll be so much prettier than me when you're all grown up."

"I can't wait to grow up. Then I can get married and wear a pretty dress just like you." Her wide smile turned upside down comically quickly at her next thought. "But then I'd have to move away from Mama like you did. I'd miss Mama and Gale and Rory and Vick. I miss you ever since you moved away, Katniss. Gale does too. Mama says that married ladies get real busy, is that why we don't see you no more? Are you always busy with your new husband?"

She couldn't help but laugh at the little girl's rattling, excited chatter. "I missed you too, Posy. I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. I'll try and come by more." She decided to avoid the subject of Peeta completely. It didn't go unnoticed by Hazelle.

"Posy baby, why don't you go back to the other room and play with your doll?"

"Alright, Mama. Bye, Katniss." The little girl gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek before jumping off her lap and returning to the bedroom she shared with her mother. All three boys shared the other room in their small but sturdy house.

Hazelle put a kettle of water on the stove to heat. As she did Katniss took a deep breath and rushed out an apology.

"I'm sorry about last night, Hazelle. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt him or you—any of you."

"I know child, I know. A woman does what she thinks is right to protect her family. We make sacrifices and choices and sometimes not everybody likes the decisions we make but that's my son's cross to bear, not yours."

"I didn't think this would be easy but I didn't think it would be so hard either." She put her head in her hands, defeated. "I'm just so sorry."

"I don't blame you girl. You weren't careless with his heart. You've done right by him, by all of us, always. I know this has been hard on you, child. Hell your whole life has been hard."

She took a thoughtful pause and handed Katniss a mug of tea.

"Let me put your mind at ease about a few things. You're practical like me, but just because we use the head on our shoulders doesn't mean we should ignore our hearts. You're a hunter, Katniss, with some mighty fine instincts but there are going to be situations your bow and arrows can't get you out of. Weapons are useless in battles such as these. Child, the first thing you need to do is stop fighting yourself. Once you do that everything else will fall into place.

"You know what's funny? Everybody in the Seam and at the Hob was always joking with me and your mama about how you two gon' get married someday but I never thought you would. You didn't know that did you?"

Katniss shook her head no.

"Oh I could kind of tell when he started looking at you the way a man looks at a woman but that's just it, honey. He looked. You never looked back. You understand what I'm telling you? Maybe not. You are a bit young yet."

Hazelle could see by Katniss' bewildered expression that she still didn't fully understand.

She began again, on a different track this time. "I could see the doubt in your eyes the minute that boy said he loved you. Hell sometimes I can still see you thinking, wondering why some golden boy from town would fall for a Seam girl like you. Let me tell you girl, you have got to stop being so suspicious. You don't see the look in his eyes when you're not looking. That's a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and it's all yours. Now my Gale is just not that way, like you he had to grow up too fast. So maybe it's a bit harder for him to show his feelings but it's not your fault that by the time he tried to win your heart you already gave it away.

"What you and Peeta did together in those games changed all our lives. Now I know you don't remember this but there was a time where things were a lot worse 'round here. Before that letch Cray there were some real mean men running these parts. But for the first time in a long time things aren't so bad. You two winning gave us more than food in our bellies child, it gave us hope. So I know you have nightmares about the things you done, can't no one live through that and not come out changed but you remember, Katniss, you deserve happiness. If anyone in this district deserves a bit of happiness it's you and Peeta. Don't even let my hardheaded fool of a son make you think differently, you hear?"

Katniss nodded in understanding.

"He'll go around grumbling like a bear with a sore head for a while yet but eventually he'll be okay. These things have a way of working themselves out."

The older woman took a long sip from her tea before speaking in a conspiratorial whisper, "Besides I have a feeling that Undersee girl likes more than just his strawberries."

Katniss choked on her tea while Hazelle's laughter rang out through the small room.

Quiet quickly descended as Katniss chewed her lip contemplating Hazelle's words.

She carefully whispered the words that had been keeping inside her for months, since the train ride home from the games. "I care about Peeta but I don't love him, Hazelle. Not like that.  _I can't._ "

Hazelle understood. She didn't need to mention her mother's depression and devastation at the loss of her father.

"Then just do right by him."

Katniss nodded, accepting the older woman's advice. They passed the rest of the morning in easy conversation while she took a boning knife and cleaned and dressed the game for Hazelle. She put a salt coat on the meat and prepared to leave. At the doorway Hazelle hid a smile behind her hand. Katniss looked at her with questioning eyes.

"And you're sure you aren't in love with Peeta?" Hazelle asked.

She nodded that yes, she was sure.

"Well you must fancy him at least." Hazelle said while pointing to Katniss' neck, a broad, knowing smile on her face.

Katniss blushed furiously before pulling at her collar, waving goodbye, and heading out of the Seam.

It was just past noon when Katniss made her way back to the Victor's Village and she was surprised to find Haymitch sitting on his porch, awake and only slightly inebriated. Haymitch usually like to be blacked out during daylight.

"You're up early," she said, sitting down on his front step.

"Your boy brought me some bread earlier." He gave her an accusatory glance. "He looked like hell."

"Somehow that's my responsibility?"

"You're his wife, Sweetheart. It kind of comes with the territory."

"Stop saying that! It doesn't mean anything! We're not in the Capitol, there are no cameras are around so we don't need to play pretend right now."

"You're going to be  _playing pretend_ the rest of your life unless you just accept the hand you've been dealt. A lot of victors would gladly take the deal you struck."

"I know, Haymitch, I know," she snapped at him. "You think I don't know how horrible I am that I can't simply be happy? It's just really hard to be happy when I feel like a puppet on a string."

Haymitch leaned in and placed a hand on her slumped shoulders before saying, "Listen, Sweetheart, nobody thinks you're a horrible person. Hell, were you even at that festival yesterday? The people of this district love you. You're the prodigal daughter."

It was one of the least sarcastic things he had ever said to her. So of course he had to wash the taste of sincerity out of his mouth with white liquor.

"However, we do have to talk about last night's performance. That's not the kind of show Snow is looking for. You may have the rest of Panem fooled into thinking that boy's your cousin but District 12, and more importantly President Snow, knows better. Everybody knows that wasn't no family matter last night but a lover's quarrel."

"I know, Haymitch! I know. It was stupid and it looked bad."  _Really bad._

"You got to talk to Hawthorne. I thought he understood when he showed up in a damn monkey suit for your wedding. He can't be making any heroic, last-ditch efforts to steal you away. There's a target on his back. He would be the easiest person for Snow to get rid of. Working in those mines, all it would take is one accident and he'd be gone. No one would suspect a thing. You see what I'm saying, Sweetheart?"

"Yes! I understand exactly how easy it would be for Snow to kill him, or anyone else for that matter." She tossed her braid over her shoulder in frustration. "I talked to Gale this morning."

"And?"

"He apologized."

Haymitch huffed before taking another swig from the bottle clutched tightly in his hands. "Good because you need to put on a better show. Last night was the first time you and the boy showed any real fire since the tour started. You've got to do better."

"What do you want, Haymitch? We got married. What's next? I'm not going to let them put cameras in our bedroom!"

Haymitch chuckled mirthlessly. "Don't worry, Sweetheart. No one wants to watch you two toss and turn in your nightmares. Unless…"

Katniss blushed and her hand immediately went to adjust her collar, but despite age and years of drinking Haymitch was just too quick. He let out a loud whistle when he pulled her shirt aside to see the small purple mark on her neck.

"I see the boy finally took a bite out of ya. Good for him." His barking laughter resonated through the Victor's Village as Katniss walked across the way to her mother and Prim's house, wondering if the day could possibly get more humiliating.

* * *

"Katniss, what happened to your neck?"

She was leaning down to milk Lady while Prim sat on a bucket next to her straining milk curds through a cloth to make cheese.

After her encounters with Hazelle and Haymitch, Katniss had thought she would be immune to teasing but something about her little sister's concern and genuine curiosity made her blush even deeper than she had earlier in the day.

She was going to kill Peeta.  _If they ever spoke again she was going to kill him._

"Nothing, Prim, I bruised it while hunting." She had never really lied to Prim before but she just couldn't talk to her sweet, innocent, thirteen year-old little sister about  _that._

The look in Prim's eyes said that she wasn't quite as innocent as Katniss would want to believe. It was easy to see through the rather obvious lie but Prim was wise enough to humor her sister.

"Okay. Do you want mom to give you a salve for it?"

"No—no. I'll be fine."

"Or I could do it. I'm getting pretty good at making the herbal remedies. Mom even let me brew arthritis medicine for Rooba the butcher."

"That's great, Prim, I'm so proud of you."

The younger girl offered her a beaming smile. "Thanks Kat."

Once they finished milking the goat she and Prim went inside to wash their hands. The novelty of clean, hot water guaranteed to flow from the tap was something Katniss would never get used to.

Mrs. Everdeen stood at the stove cooking. Day by day her mother was growing more trustworthy. She had established safe, set routines for herself since the games and it helped her get through every day. Katniss still worried, but luckily didn't have to put too much trust in her mother as she only lived three houses down.

Katniss began setting the table for dinner when her mother looked over and saw that she had only set three plates. "Katniss, won't Peeta be joining us for dinner?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it." She stared at the table, biting her lip in uncertainty.

"You two didn't make any arrangements?" Her mother asked warily.

"Not really."

"Well then I suggest you go ask Peeta to join us for a family dinner."

Her mother's commanding tone surprised her, she hadn't been told what to do in years but something about her mother's words made her feel contrite. Making her realize how inconsiderate she had been not to invite Peeta to dinner or even ask him what his plans were.

The walk to their house was short and she found him in the kitchen baking. He was kneading dough that he would set to rise and then bake in the morning, she at least knew this much of his routines. She watched his strong arms press into the firm dough and it reminded her of the feel of his hands on her the night before. The memory made her inexplicably warm.

She cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Hi," he spoke softly, hesitantly.

They hadn't seen each other since he left their bedroom last night. The unresolved tension between them was palpable.

"Hi." The uncertainty in her voice mirrored his.

"How was your day?"

"Fine, I went out." She held up her game bag indicating exactly where "out" was.

He nodded in understanding before replying, "I went to the bakery."

She hunted. He baked. Maybe their routines were already set and this wouldn't be as hard as she thought.

He set the dough in a bowl to rise and placed a linen cloth over it before walking over to the sink to wash his hands.

"My mother wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner," she said while handing him a dishtowel which he took with a smile.

"Thanks…" It was then that the smile dropped from his face and Katniss noticed that his eyes were caught by something. She looked down to her left hand and realized that he was staring at the spot where her wedding ring was conspicuously absent.

"Peeta, I didn't mean to…"

He turned his back on her. "Don't, Katniss."

"I'm sorry."

"I just—I just don't understand."

"What?"

"Why did we even do this?" He asked, his hands going up in a bewildered gesture. "I know that this isn't real. I know that you don't want this..." He held up her left hand and then it drop back down to the side. "But we have to be careful. You're not the only one who has something to lose."

She made a pointed gesture of grabbing the ring out of her jacket pocket and immediately putting it back on her finger. She tried to grab Peeta's hand, to make him understand but he shook her off. She hadn't seen him this hurt or upset with her since the train ride home from the games. She had betrayed him once again.

"I was out with Gale and I..." He spun on his heel and she knew she had said the wrong thing.

He exploded, "Damn it, Katniss! This was your idea! It was your idea to live this lie! The least you can do is play your part too!" He held up his left hand, the gold band glowing in the sunlight. "This means something to me, Katniss. My vows meant something to me." His rage had ebbed and his last words were spoken in a tired, defeated voice.

Katniss stood there silently, contrite. Peeta was right. Their marriage may have been one of convenience but their vows were promises. Promises that Katniss had sworn to keep but she wasn't doing a very good job of it. He deserved more from her. He deserved a better partner—a better wife, yet there were no other options. They were bound to each other.

She opened her mouth to speak but Peeta cut her off. "Tell your mother I'm sorry but I can't make it for dinner. I'll be eating with my family."

He didn't even slam the door on his way out, but Katniss did.

* * *

Peeta's mother wore a smug smile when he arrived for dinner. He didn't mention his argument with Katniss but they could feel the tension rolling off him. His mother was disturbingly delighted that there was already marital strife. Luckily, she kept her remarks to a minimum and instead was sickeningly sweet to her youngest son. Constantly asking if he wanted more greens or mashed potatoes. She particularly relished asking if he wanted more squirrel. He declined. He couldn't even look at the game he knew Katniss had caught.

Not yet ready to return to Victor's Village, Peeta volunteered to clean up after dinner. His father also offered to help while his mother and brothers retired to their rooms.

They were halfway through the dishes before the baker spoke. In a soft voice he asked his son, "Did something happen? With Katniss?"

He exhaled loudly through his nose before raising guilty eyes to his father. "I got into an argument with Katniss." In a small voice he added, "I yelled at her, Dad."

Mr. Mellark immediately understood. His sons had overheard more arguments in their lifetimes than anyone ever should. He knew Peeta was concerned about what his marriage would become.

"Peeta, you're married at 16, that's a huge burden to undertake at your age. Along with everything you went through with the games and your victory, of course you're incredibly stressed and you're bound to take it out on someone close to you like Katniss."

Peeta shrugged. "Maybe."

"What happened? Why did you fight?"

He debated telling his father about what had happened the night before in their bedroom but didn't know how to discuss physical intimacy with his father. Yet he knew it would be unfair to Katniss if he didn't explain that tension had already existed between them before their encounter this afternoon.

"It started last night after the festival."

"Because of what happened with the Hawthorne boy?"

"Yeah." He took in a deep breath. "I was just so...worked up after everything that happened that I let things get out of control...with Katniss."

He searched his father's eyes for a long moment before understanding lit up the older man's blue eyes.

His father cleared his throat before continuing, blushing slightly. "You can tell me, son."

"Things aren't like that between Katniss and I. I  _know_  that. All day I felt horrible for crossing a line and when I finally saw her all I wanted to do was apologize."

"I take it that's not what happened?"

Peeta's lips quirked up in a rueful smile. "No, not at all. I saw that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring and I just lost it, Dad. It hurt so much to see that it didn't matter to her. That she didn't care. I know it's not real for her but it's real for me." He shook his head in self-disgust. "It didn't help that I know she spent all day in the woods with Gale."

The baker firmly gripped his son's shoulders and turned Peeta to face him. "That girl didn't pledge herself to Gale. She married  _you._ "

He hung his head. "She didn't have a choice, Dad."

"She's honorable. She keeps her promises, Peeta. She wouldn't have entered into this lightly. She cares about you deeply. We all saw it when she took care of you in the arena. Just give her time, she'll come around."

"I just—I just don't want to end up like…I don't want her to hate me."

With a pang in his heart the baker promised his son, "You won't end up like your mother and me."

"I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't mean…"

"It's ok, son. Your mother—she wasn't always such a hateful woman, you know. She's just had to live with a lot of disappointment."

It took a long moment before the baker solemnly continued, "I'm sorry too, for all the times I wasn't there to—to stop her. I never thought she'd lay on a hand on you boys in anger. If only I had known sooner…I never wanted that for you." His father wrapped him up in a warm hug.

"You're a good man, son. A better man than me. You've always fought for Katniss. Don't stop now."

His father was right. He wouldn't become his mother. He wouldn't allow himself to grow bitter for being Katniss' second choice.

Peeta would fight for Katniss because you always fight for what you love.

 


	7. Chapter 7

It was past midnight before Peeta returned to the Victor's Village. He made his way up the stairs and stood outside the bedroom listening to the soft sounds of Katniss sleeping. It pained him to sleep away from her. He missed where the curves of her body fit into the hollows of his. The bed felt empty and lonely without her. He missed holding her and knowing that she was safe in his arms. Yet he had no one to blame but himself. He knew what he was getting into with this marriage. He swore that he would be what Katniss needed but instead he felt like he had already failed her. At times, he felt like his love for her was a burden she shouldn't have to bear. He knew she was only doing what it took to survive but he didn't want to simply survive. He wanted to  _live._  He wanted to live life with Katniss by his side and— _dammit_ —he wanted her to want that too.

He hovered with his hand over the knob; wanting so badly to mend the rift between them. But for once the perfect words would not come to Peeta Mellark's mind. He spared one last, pained glance at the door before turning left into the empty guest room and trying to sleep in a bed that seemed too large without Katniss sprawled across it. He breathed in deeply and frowned because the air lacked the woodsy scent that always clung to her hair. He sighed, preparing for the long sleepless night ahead.

Katniss tossed and turned, having woken from a troubled sleep at the sound of Peeta's heavy tread in the hallway. She had been so tempted to open the door and catch him before he had a chance to slip into the room next door. She wanted to level him with her gaze and demand that he come back to their bed, even if it wasn't right or reasonable. She simply wanted things to go back to the way they were.

She was reminded of the first months after they returned from the games, months of silent staring. She would not go back to that. But what could she do to change it? How could she make him forgive her? She wanted him to see that they were in this together. That really, they were still the same two scared tributes they were on the train that fateful reaping day. They were still hurtling toward an unknown fate with only the other at their side. Underneath all the show and all the labels— _Girl on Fire, Star-Crossed Lovers—_ underneath all of that, he was still her last hope. Her only hope.

Katniss stared through the bedroom window. The night sky was dark but the moon hung large and low in the sky illuminating the tops of trees. As she lay there watching her forest she realized something, she didn't fight to keep him alive in the arena just to lose the boy with the bread _now._

Several sleepless nights later Katniss and Peeta were standing at the train station sending Effie Trinket and the camera crews back to the Capitol, footage in tow. The last vestiges of the Victory Tour were finally leaving them. Hopefully, they would be left in peace.

The train was scheduled to arrive at 10 a.m. and so Effie had made sure that everyone arrived  _promptly_ at 9:30 a.m. When 11:00 a.m. had passed and the train still wasn't there, they began to worry. They didn't know what do with the crew or their highly agitated district escort. Even Haymitch seemed disconcerted by the tardy train, whether that was because he was itching to refill the flask he'd emptied earlier or to get rid of Effie, they couldn't say.

Katniss and Peeta stood holding hands, posing for the cameras that still snapped photos. They pretended to be joyfully happy newlyweds. Reality was that they had hardly spoken in days and they both looked worse for wear because of it. Haymitch ambled over to them and spoke in a stage whisper that was clearly loud enough for all the occupants of the train station to hear, "You ought to give yourselves a rest, boy. You look worn down and she's looking a little peaked. You got the rest of your lives together. Don't wear her out all at once."

He winked at the laughing cameras crews and Effie clucked her tongue at Haymitch's crude remark. Peeta's hand tightened around Katniss' protectively before he told the older man, "Maybe the train will come faster if you wait for it on the tracks."

Haymitch just laughed and replied, "Ouch, boy. Seems like you been kissing Sweetheart here a bit too much. Sounds like her sharp tongue is stuck in your mouth."

Katniss opened her mouth to reply but the train whistle cut her off just as she was about to curse a blue streak at her mentor and his big mouth.

The train arrived late and worse for wear. Effie shrieked at the simpler, though by no means sparse, accommodations. Katniss noticed that for a moment, Haymitch's eyes narrowed and he stood a little straighter, his interest seemingly piqued by the train. Then he started acting drunker than she knew him to be and she couldn't understand why until he walked over to a train and attendant and started harassing him about why "the rickety tin bucket was late to pick up the old girl." Effie glared at Haymitch and replied before the attendant could even recover from his inquisition.

"If you must know you old fool, it's because the other train broke down in District Eight and they had to send this one as a replacement while the other one is being repaired." Effie then turned on her electric blue high heels and made her way over to Katniss and Peeta.

"Goodbye Katniss and Peeta dears. It was difficult to bring District Twelve up to Capitol standards for your wedding celebrations but I think I did it!" Sniffling, she hugged them both and added, "It was all so lovely. I quite enjoyed it." As soon as she stepped away her Capitol façade was back in place. She boarded the train and waved to them before offering her final farewell, "See you in a few months for the Quarter Quell! It's bound to be big, big, big!"

Effie's words felt like a blow to Katniss and Peeta, but their smiles didn't falter as they waved the train goodbye.

When the train was out of sight they turned to their mentor, questions about the train and what it meant ready to spill forth from their lips but Haymitch just shook them off. "No. Not today. I just got rid of that insufferable woman and all those bug-eyed cameras. I need a drink. We'll talk some other time." He stalked off a bit wobbly but determinedly, gold coins for Ripper heavy in his pocket.

Katniss and Peeta suddenly found themselves alone. They glanced around awkwardly unsure of what to do until Katniss held out her hand. Her eyes beckoned him to come with her. They walked slowly and leisurely at first. Taking an ambling path away from the train station but soon enough Peeta recognized a particular spot in the fence. After all his years of watching Katniss, he knew exactly where she crossed the boundary between Twelve and the forest that lay forbidden beyond.

He looked at her, questions swimming in his eyes until she spoke softly, "Trust me." Her face wore the same expression it had in the games, right before she placed nightlock berries in the palms of their hands. Peeta knew, just as he had in that moment, that he would always trust this girl. So he followed her under the fence, into a world he only ever dreamed of.

She had purposely donned the long green coat again, to hide the insulated winter wear she wore underneath. Cinna's high-tech clothing had been a wonderful discovery while dressing this morning. If she was going to make this particular trek through the forest, she needed to be as ready as possible. Especially bringing someone as inexperienced as Peeta along with her. She took her leather satchel out and handed him a scarf and a pair of fur-lined gloves Cinna left her. Her plan was a surprise so she hadn't been able to warn him how to dress this morning, but luckily he was well-suited for the journey she had in mind. The last few touches from her stylist would keep the cold at bay.

They set off together in silence. The only sound in the woods was Peeta's heavy footfalls, but instead of annoying her as it once had, it endeared him to her now. It was constant assurance of his presence by her side. She turned back to check on him and the look on his face flooded her with a tender warmth.

He smiled at her gratefully. He looked like a boy on Christmas morning, after having been given a great gift. And perhaps he had. He had been given insight into the girl he loved—and that was priceless.

He felt reverence as they walked through her woods side by side. He carefully took in the way snow clung to the tree branches; he watched how the melting snow would form droplets of water that fell like tears to the ground. He was fascinated by the way light filtered through their branches and hit the forest floor. It was different than the forest in the games, calmer, more beautiful; perhaps because it lacked the ever-present danger of the arena. Or perhaps because these were Katniss' woods.

It took a couple of hours to reach their destination and Katniss was surprised that Peeta didn't complain or question her once. But she understood, after the games, their faith in each other was a powerful thing.

Katniss stopped at the top of a small hill and waited for Peeta. She smiled smugly to herself when he reached her side and looked through the small clearing in the woods. She heard his sharp intake of breath at the beauty that lay before him.

"Isn't it the most wonderful thing you've ever seen?"

He looked at her intensely, "No. But it's still remarkable."

She hadn't seen that look on his face since their fight and she just now realized that she missed it. She didn't understand how Peeta could wake these dormant feelings inside her but she was beginning to suspect that he was the only one who could. Her mind briefly flashed to her kiss with Gale. His kiss had shocked and angered her, but the fire of her rage wasn't the same kind of slow burning heat that rose within her when she and Peeta kissed.

She blushed when she realized that she had been staring at his smiling lips. She cleared her throat and began walking towards the lake. It was too cold to swim and the water fowl had left for the winter but that wasn't why she had come here anyway. She thought back to the night the idea of showing Peeta the lake came to her.

She had been lying in bed watching the moon hang low over the forest when suddenly an idea struck her. Words would always fail her; there was nothing she could say to fix things. But perhaps she could show him that he could trust her, that they were in this together. Perhaps she could take him to a place where he would understand.

So here they were, tired and cold and smiling like fools looking out over the partially frozen lake. After a few minutes, they reached an old concrete house near the edge of the water. Only one of four glass windows remained, wavy and yellowed by time. There was no plumbing and no electricity, but the fireplace still worked and there was a woodpile in the corner that Katniss and her father collected years ago. She started a small fire. While the fire caught, Peeta swept out the snow that had accumulated under the empty windows, using a twig broom her father made when she was about eight and played house here. Then they sat on the tiny concrete hearth, thawing out by the fire and sharing in the hot tea, cheese buns, apples and chestnuts that Katniss had packed for them.

It was a long while before she spoke. Staring into the fire she said, "I've never told anyone about the lake. It's a place I've never really wanted to share with anyone. Not even Prim or Gale. It belonged only to my father and me. He would bring me here when I was a little girl. He taught me how to swim here."

She took a long pause and finally met his gaze. "And maybe someday, if you want, I can teach you too." She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed deeply. She couldn't take her eyes from him while waiting for his response.

In a hoarse voice he replied, "I'd like that."

They sat in companionable silence for a while until Peeta said, "I wish I had something with me so I could draw or paint. It's a whole other world out here, I want to remember it."

Katniss offered him a shy smile before digging into her leather satchel and pulling out one of Peeta's sketchpads and some pencils. "I thought you might want to…you know…here." She unceremoniously dropped them in his lap.

He wanted to kiss her so badly, but instead he settled for watching her intently while he sketched.

Katniss was watching him too, although less openly. She stole glances at him from beneath her lashes. She liked to watch his hands as he worked, making a blank page bloom with strokes of the pencil. His face took on a special look when he concentrated. His usual easy expression was replaced by something more intense and removed that suggested an entire world locked away inside him. She'd seen flashes of this before: in the arena, or when he spoke to a crowd, or that time he shoved the Peacekeepers' guns away from her in District 11. She didn't quite know what to make of it. His eyelashes also transfixed her. Up close, in the firelight they looked like spun gold.

She felt the tension between them dissipate and in the comfort of the cabin her weariness settled in. Her eyelids were fluttering when Peeta set his sketchpad aside and moved over to her. He pulled Katniss to his chest and she rested her head on his shoulder, safely nestled in his arms.

She felt more than heard him say, "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."

Instead of feeling guilty or uncomfortable with his comment, the kind that hinted at his undying love for her, Katniss felt so warm and relaxed and beyond worry that she just let the word slip out. "Okay."

She could hear the smile in his voice. "Then you'll allow it?"

"I'll allow it," she said.

He placed a light kiss to her hair before telling her, "Sleep. We have a long way back. Get some rest."

"Okay, but just a little while. We have to get back before it gets too dark."

Katniss woke hours later well rested and content. She looked up and swam in a sea of kind, blue eyes. In her slumber she had carelessly tossed her right leg over his and rested her hand against his chest. A chest that was as warm and as solid as she remembered. She cleared her throat and moved away. She looked around and saw that he had let the fire die out. It was probably the encroaching cold that woke her.

"I knew we needed to leave soon so I let it die. I replaced the wood though."

"Thanks."

She started to pack up their things when she saw Peeta's sketchpad. "May I?"

He offered her a smirk. "Go ahead. If I said no you would probably just look later anyway."

She opened the leather-bound book carefully, an unforeseen reverence for Peeta's work washing over her. What she saw was spellbinding. They were all meticulous pencil drawings from their day together. One was a scene of the lake through the trees; another was a picture of Katniss, sitting profile with the woods visible through the broken window behind her. The last one he must have done while she slept, it was a view of their legs tangled before the fireplace. Her breath caught at the beauty and detail of the sketch. Even in black and white the fire seemed to crackle with life and radiate heat. He captured the scene perfectly. Once again, Peeta's talent amazed her.

"Can I have this?"

Now it was Peeta's turn to be amazed. He was practically blushing when he asked, "You mean it? You want it?"

"Yeah, Peeta. I do. I want this one." She held up the last drawing. He looked from her to the page several times before he took the book from her hands, signed and dated it, and then carefully tore out the page.

Only embers remained in the fireplace and the cabin was growing darker by the moment but they were loath to leave. They stood staring at each other, waiting and willing the other to make a move until Peeta took Katniss' hand and said, "Come on. Let's go home."

The walk back was chilly but calm and wonderful. Even Peeta's steps seemed quieter than they had in the morning. But their buoyant mood was threatened as soon as the fence came into sight. The tension they shared the past week seemed to be curling around them like smoke. It was one thing to spend a secluded afternoon in the woods and pretend everything was okay. It was another matter entirely to be inside the confines of their life in District Twelve and have everything be just as well. They had always done well enough alone. It was when reality intruded that Katniss and Peeta floundered.

Her mood plummeted when they reached their house in Victor's Village without either of them having said a word. They stood on their porch in the wintry twilight, desperately hoping for the other to say or do something that would make everything okay.

Peeta, in a simple gesture of his infinite wisdom, did just that. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "Goodnight" before entering the house and making his way upstairs.

It was amazing how a simple gesture and softly spoken words from him could put her mind at ease. Maybe everything wasn't perfect, but at least she felt like she hadn't let Peeta slip away from her.

She was saddened to discover that Peeta had chosen to once again sleep in the guest bedroom. It seemed that there was only so much their sojourn in the woods could repair. Apparently, their sleeping arrangements weren't among them.

Yet still, she fell asleep quickly. Her mind conjured the warmth of the cabin, the scent of the woods, and the feel of Peeta's arms wrapped around her.

* * *

Screams. Blood-curdling screams woke Peeta from the deepest sleep he'd had in weeks. A cold sweat broke out on his back at the tortured sounds Katniss was making in the next room. He jumped from the bed and nearly broke down the door in his haste to get to her.

Her flailing has caused the sheets to twist around her body and constrict her tightly. She was bound in her own bed, unable to fight back or wake up. Peeta sat on the side of the bed and woke her with soft words and gentle hands. She clutched him tightly, as he spoke quietly in her ear. Her screams stopped, but the violent shivering persisted. She was drenched in sweat. It was one of her worst nightmares yet. Peeta dreaded to ask but he needed to know what had shaken her so.

He positioned them so he was leaning with his back against the headboard. He rubbed slow circles on her back while waiting several moments for her to calm down. He was surprised when she began to speak, telling him of the nightmare of her own volition.

Her voice was small and hoarse but he understood each word perfectly. "We were at the lake house."

Pain tore through Peeta. He didn't understand. Today had been the best day of his life.

"And everything was just the same as it was this afternoon. I felt so warm and so  _safe._ " Her eyes darted around the room and she nervously bit her lip before continuing."When I woke up you were still asleep so I decided to go outside and gather more wood for the fire."

She sniffed and pushed a disobedient lock of hair from her face. "But when I got back the cabin was on fire, the whole thing engulfed in flames. I could feel the heat, Peeta, I swear it. The smoke was so thick and I couldn't breathe but I tried to find you. I looked through every window in the cabin and I didn't see you. But then I heard your screams and I knew…"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs.

"Oh, Katniss."

"And it was all my fault Peeta. Because I took you out there and I couldn't protect you. It would have been all my fault."

"Shh. Nothing happened Katniss. I'm here and I'm fine and you've done nothing wrong. It was just a nightmare."

"I can't—it can't...I won't lose…" She let out a frustrated sigh. "That can't  _ever_ happen, okay? You can't leave. You just  _can't_ leave."

He looked at her, her fear was real and alive and had taken ahold of her entire being. He held her tighter and whispered in her ear, "I won't."

He brought the blankets up to her shoulders and continued to rub her arms and back, trying to warm her freezing skin.

Hours later he made to leave the bed but his shifting disturbed Katniss. Her arms tightened around him and she groggily murmured, "Stay with me."

Peeta slid back under the covers and settled into his place beside her. Sharing the bed with her felt like coming home.

She was asleep before she could hear him whisper, "Always."

The next morning Katniss woke first. She watched Peeta's sleeping face. She had never felt tenderness like this before, except for maybe Prim but she couldn't be sure. She brought up a tray laden with mugs of hot chocolate and biscuits from yesterday morning. She woke him gently and couldn't help but return his goofy smile when he saw the tray.

Peeta was watching the sun rise over the mountains in the distance, idly chewing on a bit of bread he dunked in the rich, hot liquid when Katniss spoke.

"I want us to sleep together."

He choked on the bite he had taken.

"P-pardon?" He coughed out.

She was flushed scarlet. "I mean I want you to come back to bed. To sleep. The nightmares…" she trailed off and looked down, picking at the beds of her nails. "I don't sleep well alone—without you—and it's your room too."

She exhaled loudly in frustration before raising her head to look him in the eyes. "Just come back to bed."

"Are you certain?" He asked eyes wide.

"It just makes sense. We both have nightmares and I know yours are worse without me. And it's just easier to face them together, okay?"

"Okay."

"So you'll come back?"

He smiled softly. "I'll come back."

* * *

The next few weeks went by quickly. Katniss and Peeta slipped into a comfortable routine. They both rose early. She hunted and he baked. They had dinner together every night; sometimes with her family, sometimes with Haymitch, sometimes by themselves.

She continued to hunt with Gale every Sunday. With practice, her shot quickly returned to perfection while wearing the wedding band.

It was the worst winter to hit District Twelve in years; the kind where the cold seeped into their very bones. Peeta dutifully chopped firewood for them, her family, even Haymitch and the Hawthornes. She couldn't help but watch him sometimes as he did. His skin would flush slightly, his curls would dampen with sweat, and his breath would come out in great visible puffs like smoke. She would watch his arm and back muscles strain underneath his long sleeve thermal shirts. Sometimes, when he raised the axe above his head his shirt would lift to reveal the smooth muscles of his stomach and her eyes couldn't help but dart to the light trail of hair that led down, down, down…

Katniss often flushed when she realized where her thoughts and eyes were traveling. She would shake her head and stalk off, mad at herself for being weak. She didn't want to understand what was happening to her in these moments but she knew she couldn't afford to think of Peeta like that. She couldn't indulge in the way he sometimes made her breath hitch. She ignored the warmth that pooled in her belly when he held her in his arms at night. There were moments when he'd touch her face or softly kiss her on the cheek and she wanted his hands to stay on her, to roam further. She wanted far more than his innocent, gentle touches. She wanted the hard, passionate kisses they had shared so sparingly. It was maddening, and what's worse, Haymitch wasn't oblivious to her inner turmoil.

_One day Katniss walked over to his house to deliver game. It was a relatively sober morning for him. She grumbled excessively looking for a pot in which to cook the groosling before Haymitch appeared in the doorway laughing like a fool. Maybe he wasn't as sober as she thought._

_"What are you laughing at old man?"_

_"Nothing. I just think you're about the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's like you're going to spontaneously combust any day now."_

_"What are you talking about! How drunk are you?"_

_"You think I don't see the way you've been looking at the boy like a piece of meat? That you've been snapping everybody's head off for the past week? Including your dear little sister."_

_"I have not."_

_"You have too."_

_Katniss sighed. This was the very last conversation she ever wanted to have with anyone, let alone Haymitch Abernathy._

_"You're married Katniss, it's okay to want to be with him," he said._

_"It's not real!"_

_"You keep saying that, but what does it mean? He loves you, you live together, you even had a big ole fancy wedding and signed the papers, how much more married can you get?"_

_"It was all for the Capitol, Haymitch. Remember? You helped us plot it!"_

_"You had a wedding for the Capitol Sweetheart. Your marriage doesn't have to be. I thought you were smart enough to know the difference. It can be real." He walked closer to her, put his hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes before softly saying, "Listen, happiness is hard to come by for a victor. So if you stop making this a punishment, you could see it for what it really is."_

_She half whined, half groaned in a wordless response._

_With that Haymitch laughed and the moment was over. "You're cute when you're petulant Sweetheart." He grabbed a bottle of white liquor from the cabinet and walked off, but not before landing the final blow, "Looks like you've got a choice to make. I'm sure you and the boy could figure things out. At least I hope you don't need a mentor for that."_

Her surly mentor's words added to her already dense emotional thicket and left her feeling more on edge than she had before.

Those same words were on her mind days later when she walked through the back door into the kitchen surprised to find Peeta home early, baking.

"You're not at the bakery?"

"My mother wasn't in the best of moods today. I decided I'd rather be at home."

Katniss nodded in understanding. She made tea from the kettle Peeta had on the stove and stood there watching him. She hadn't thought of baking as particularly masculine until she watched Peeta knead dough. His arm muscles flexed as his hands moved in practiced motions, working and forming the dough in precise loaves. She hoped he didn't notice her staring. She couldn't seem to help herself lately.

"Do you want to help me?"

"Hmm, what?"

"Do you want to learn how to make bread? Real bread. Not the kind you make from tesserae grain."

He had baked hundreds of things in this kitchen and yet she had never thought to join him before. She took in his flour dusted appearance and was surprised to find that the idea appealed to her.

"Okay."

She grabbed one of the extra aprons from where they hung on a rack and walked over to the island in the center of the kitchen that Peeta liked to use as his work station.

"What do I do?"

"Come here." He moved aside and Katniss stood directly in front him, taking his place at the counter. He took her hand and dipped it into a sack of flour. The powdery substance felt smooth and light between her fingers, she liked it. He instructed her to take a handful and dust it over the work surface, so that the bread wouldn't stick while they worked with it. He grabbed a cold ball of dough from the refrigerator and set it down before her. His arms wrapped around her and he took her hands in his. Together they began to gently roll and shape the dough. Peeta explained that the heat from their hands would soften it and that kneading the dough made it more tender. She didn't like the sticky, mushy, feel of the dough between her fingers nearly as much as she did the flour, but she did like Peeta's soft voice in her ear and the feel of his arms around her.

It occurred to her that these recipes were for him what the woods were for her —it was how his father had taught him to sustain himself, to survive. She learned to track a doe and snare a rabbit. He learned to frost cakes and marble rye. It was no surprise that Peeta would want to share his life with her, but the smile tugging at her lips was very unexpected.

As time wore on she began to relax into his embrace. As their hands worked together to knead and shape the pale dough their bodies gently brushed up against each other. It caused an electrifying friction to radiate from them. That is, until Peeta pulled away. But Katniss wasn't ready to give up this fluttering feeling, this heat.

He dropped his arms to his sides but she caught them and wrapped them around her waist instead. She leaned into his solid chest and then boldly pressed her hips back into his. She smirked triumphantly at his sharp intake of breath.

They stood like that, breathing each other in until Peeta spoke, his voice low and husky. "Katniss…"

She could practically feel his lips form her name against her skin. She shivered from pure excitement.

It was a warning, she knew. She could hear the edge in his voice. It was the same edge they had been teetering since the cave. Always the one for brash action between the two, she turned in his arms and smothered all his sensible words and warnings with her lips.

Her kiss wasn't shy or sweet or gentle. This kiss was wet and reckless and fierce and hot. So hot. It was the kiss of the girl on fire. His lips were firm but soft and he tasted like cinnamon. Katniss whimpered at the discovery. Her mind flashed to the other morning, when she had returned home and accidentally caught him fresh out of the shower with droplets of water clinging to his skin, gliding down his smooth muscles to the lines of his hips, past the edge of the towel where her eyes couldn't follow.

She was fascinated by the muscles and hollows there and suddenly wanted nothing more than to trace the same path the beads of water had that morning. She undid the apron strings at his back and pushed the fabric aside, aggravated at all the layers between them. Her fingers found the hem of his t-shirt and hesitantly slid underneath, his stomach clenched under her fingers. She was mesmerized by his taut muscles and her hands moved lower to the top of his waistband. Peeta's hips involuntarily jerked against her and a jolt of electricity jumped from his body into hers. She gasped at the sensation but he caught the strangled noise with his own insistent kiss.

He untangled his hands from her hair and slid them down past her hips to grab her thighs and lift her onto the counter, uncaring of the flour that covered the work surface. He wrapped his arms around her and slowly, so slowly, slid his hands under her shirt, kneading the flesh of her hips, tracing the line of her spine with his fingertips. Katniss delighted in the feel of his strong hands on her.

Heat was pooling between her legs and she instinctively rubbed them together to ease the tension until Peeta closed the distance between their bodies. She could feel him, hard and warm, straining against the fabric of his pants and she ground her hips against him curiously. Peeta nearly growled in response but he returned the motion with gentle thrusts of his own.

If what she felt in the cave was hunger, then she was ravenous now.

His right hand tenderly stroked up her side, to rest against her neck. He deepened the kiss and she felt his tongue swirl in circles in her mouth. The sensation was delicious. She wrapped her legs around his waist in an effort to bring him as close as possible. Their bodies were straining against each other.

She never wanted the kiss to end but the need for air intruded upon their embrace. Panting she drew her lips to his neck and placed the same open-mouthed kisses there he had given her the night of the Harvest Festival. Then she moved her hands up his shirt, over his abs and chest to wrap around his neck and shoulders.

His lips trailed a similar path to hers. He gently bit down on her earlobe and Katniss writhed in pleasure against him. Peeta shivered, her ardor was about to unman him. His hand moved from its perch on her neck, ghosting over her collarbones before gently cupping and massaging the tender flesh of her breast. It drove him wild to feel her hardened nipple through the fabric of her shirt and underclothes. Katniss dug her fingernails into his shoulders, her body so consumed with pleasure it was almost painful.

"Peeta." Her voice broke when she called out his name again and again. The single word had become her plea, her prayer. She wanted him to touch her like this always, to tame the flames licking at her body. She simply wanted him—right here, right now. But at the same moment this realization struck her, the front door opened. Dazed, Katniss and Peeta sprang apart, a white cloud of flour surrounding them. Peeta hastily tried to adjust the apron at his front to hide his painfully evident arousal while Katniss struggled to catch her breath.

When Mrs. Everdeen walked into the room she took in their flushed cheeks, short breaths, her daughter's tousled hair and the general disarray of the kitchen. She knew immediately what she had interrupted but wisely chose to ignore it. She simply placed the bundles of herbs and fresh pitcher of goat's milk she held on the table.

"I brought the herbs you asked for, Peeta. You're right. I think rosemary will work wonderfully in that recipe. And I brought some of Lady's milk. Prim forgot to bring it over before leaving for school this morning."

They were breathless and mortified but Peeta was the first to recover. "Thank you Mrs. Everdeen, we certainly appreciate it. Don't we Katniss?"

The words helped Katniss overcome her embarrassment, she quietly thanked her mother.

Her mother raised a hand to gently smooth the hairs at the back of her daughter's braid before speaking. "I was wondering if you could come over to the house later and help me with a few things. I want to prepare before the next snowfall."

"S-s-sure," Katniss stammered out, unable to meet her mother's eyes.

"Okay. I'll see you then. Goodbye Peeta."

Peeta barely got his goodbye out before the front door closed.

* * *

"Hello?" Katniss peeked her head around the door.

Her mother called to her from the kitchen. She stood at the stove, brewing a large pot of an herbal concoction that smelled vaguely familiar but Katniss just couldn't recognize. She would never be a healer like her mother or sister. She was a hunter. Her father's daughter.

"Is Prim home?"

"No, she took some cough medicine over to Hazelle. Posy's been sick."

"Oh, alright."

She sat at the kitchen table and waited in silence for minutes that seemed like hours.

"What did you need help with mother? We already cleaned the gutters since the last storm and—"

Her mother placed a glass jar in front of her, halting her speech. It was filled with an amber-colored liquid in between the consistency of honey and water. Suspended in the liquid were purple, thistle-like flowers that she recognized. Yes, this flower Katniss knew. She had been gathering it for her mother for years. Pennyroyal. It could be used in either tea or tonic.

It prevented pregnancy.

Always when it was too late, a few Seam women, ashamed, would pick the purple flower that smelled of mint and try to brew it themselves. Some got very sick. Most of them died. No one knew how to brew it safely like her mother—the apothecary's daughter.

Katniss looked at her mother with wide eyes.

Mrs. Everdeen spoke quietly yet with intention. "I failed you before. I failed you and Prim both. I won't let it happen again."

The room was spinning and Katniss couldn't breathe. Her mother…Pennyroyal…her mother thought that… _oh no._

"But mother, we're not…Peeta and I aren't…I won't get pregnant."

Mrs. Everdeen didn't blush or bat an eyelash. She looked slightly relieved but doubtful still.

"Katniss, you're a beautiful girl sharing a bed with a young man who happens to be your husband. I'm taking precautions. I just I want to protect you." She placed the bottle in Katniss' hand and closed her daughters' fingers around it. "This is one way I  _know_ I can. Will you do that? Will you let me help?"

Katniss nodded.

"So drink this tonic every day and it will keep you from conceiving."

She nodded again.

"Do you have any questions?"

Her brow furrowed, revealing her confusion, "About what?"

"About being with Peeta in that way." Her mother's resolve began to crack, she gulped. "Being intimate."

Katniss couldn't restrain a gulp of her own. She shook her head no.

Her mother looked at her expectantly, patiently.

Her eyes danced around the room, trying to look anywhere but her mother's face.

Unable to bear it any longer she rose from the table, not even realizing the bottle was still clutched tightly in her left hand. She paused with her right hand on the knob.

"How much are you supposed to take?"

"Two teaspoons per day. Morning and night."

Katniss nodded once more before escaping out the back door.

* * *

Katniss and Peeta were woken in the darkest hours just before dawn by a loud and fierce knocking at their door. She pulled a pale yellow robe on over her sleep clothes and opened the door to discover Gale on the other side, sweating, bedraggled and covered in coal dust.

"What's wrong? What happened? Are you alright?" Katniss asked, looking him over for injuries. She opened the door wider and motioned him inside.

It was strange to have Gale in the home she shared with Peeta. But the oddity of the moment wasn't what held her attention; it was the guarded look in his silver eyes that told her something was wrong.

"I'm okay, Catnip. It's just that there was an accident. Is…uh…can I talk to Peeta?"

Her eyes widened in surprise and alarm, but she nodded her head. Peeta came down from where he stood on the landing of the stairs, his brow furrowed in confusion and concern.

They exchanged a stiff handshake and terse pleasantries.

"What happened? Was there some kind of mining accident?" Peeta asked. Yet Katniss knew better, it was too early for anyone to be at work in the mines and if an accident had happened yesterday they would have come for her mother immediately, not wait until the middle of the night.

"There was an accident of sorts. A few town kids were playing around the mines. I guess it's just big joke to you all isn't it?" Katniss gave Gale a hard stare and he continued. "Anyway, some kids dared each other to take the elevator down the mine shafts. Only they didn't know how to operate it and it got jammed. Well the boy inside tried to climb his way back up the shaft but he didn't make it, he slipped and fell and got hurt. That's when his cowardly little friends ran off. If Thom hadn't heard the screaming I don't know how long the kid would have been down there."

"What does this have to do with Peeta? Who was it?" Katniss asked.

"Delly Cartwright's little brother."

She felt Peeta stiffen at her side, the pain evident on his features. She knew Delly Cartwright was one of his closest friends and if he felt for her little brother the way she did for Rory, Vick, or Posy, he must be hurting greatly.

"Is he okay?" Peeta asked, nervously running his hands through his hair.

"We were able to get him out and I had them bring him to Mrs. Everdeen. She's working on him now. A broken arm and a few gashes, I think. I couldn't tell what else."

Peeta began frantically searching the house, looking for his boots and jacket. "Does the family know? Have you told them?"

Katniss gathered his scarf and gloves while he double knotted the laces on his boots.

"That's why we came to get you. We figured they should hear it from someone they know. Doubt they want a bunch of dirty miners at their door in the middle of the night."

Peeta opened the door to the chilly night air. He pulled his collar tighter around his throat before looking at Gale. "You're wrong. You don't know the Cartwright's. They'd welcome the man who saved their son with open arms."

Katniss watched Peeta make his way down the lane before closing the door behind him.

Hours later pale grey and pink light was streaming through the windows of their kitchen. Delly had cried herself out and was now hiccupping profusely. Her brother had a broken arm, a minor concussion and a few cuts and scrapes. He would fully recover in a couple months, Mrs. Everdeen had said.

As always, Katniss had been useless at trying to help the young boy, so she focused on helping Delly. When it became apparent that the young girl's hysterics wouldn't soon subside she had dragged the pasty blonde from her mother's kitchen and into her own. Katniss brewed her peppermint tea with lots of honey and put a plate of maple and ginger cookies before her, she knew that Delly had a bit of a sweet tooth. Peeta smiled at her gratefully.

Before the reaping, Katniss never would have pictured herself and Gale sitting at the same table mixing company with merchants like Peeta and Delly. Though it was perhaps among the most normal things she'd done in the past year.

Delly's voice was small when she finally spoke.

"You remember all those times your dad used let us make dough boys and girls?" She asked Peeta through her sniffles.

"Yeah Dells, I do."

"He always wanted to come and play too but I never let him…I—I should have. He was never as good at making friends. That's why he ended up at the mine; trying to fit in with those boys, impress them. I'm such a horrible big sister."

"No you're not. Come on Delly, I have two older brothers, I know the last thing you want sometimes is your annoying little brother or sister hanging around. No one blames you."

When she finally unglued her eyes from the bottom of her tea cup they landed on Katniss with an intensity that made the brunette girl shift in her seat.

"You never would have let this happen, would you?"

Katniss didn't know what to say. She didn't know what the distraught girl wanted to hear

Delly continued, shifting her gaze to Peeta. "Katniss never would have let Prim get hurt like that. I mean she went into the Hunger Games to protect her sister! And I—I can't even keep him safe here in District Twelve." She slammed her first on the table, adding force to her words.

Katniss could only imagine the guilt eating Delly up from the inside out. She needed to say something to make the girl feel better.

"Prim sprained her ankle when she was 10!" She nervously blurted out too loudly. "She slipped on some ice walking home from school. I hadn't been in school that day. I was—" she couldn't say in the woods. "Well I was out and she walked home alone and slipped and then she walked all the rest of the way home on her ankle. It had swollen up to twice its size by the time she got there. Luckily my mother bandaged it and rubbed some balm onto it and she was fine. I never forgave myself for not being there, Delly. But that's the scariest thing of all, we can't always be there."

Surprisingly Gale spoke up too, "I taught Rory how to climb this tree near our house to gather eggs out of the bird's nest there. See, I thought Vick was still too little so I told him to stay home with my mom and sister. Well a couple days later we couldn't find him and it was getting dark. Turns out he had climbed the tree and couldn't get down. He was stuck in that tree all day, tired and scared and hungry. I mean stupid kid, it was his fault he climbed the tree but I still blamed myself, you know? I'm the one who looks after him. I felt so bad I gave him extra lessons. Next time we climbed he was better than Rory."

Delly softly chuckled at his story.

"See Dells, you're all great older siblings. You know most of the horror stories of all the stuff my older brothers did to me." Peeta joked about the time they tossed him into one of the massive ovens and threatened to light it, but anyone could see the warmth in his eyes as he talked about them.

Another knock sounded at the door and it was Mr. Cartwright, coming to collect Delly. They had a cart ready to take the family home. She profusely thanked Gale for helping her brother and promised him bootlaces any time he needed them. She gave Peeta a brotherly hug before launching herself into Katniss' arms and hugging her tightly, gratefully.

"Thank you so much for taking care of me…and him." She pulled back, her eyes pointedly landing on Peeta.

Katniss simply waved the girl goodbye and shut the door behind her.

Peeta turned to her and Gale and offered them a weary smile. "It's a good thing Gale's a better liar than you are Katniss."

"What do you mean?"

"He's right, Catnip. Prim isn't nearly clumsy enough to sprain her ankle slipping on ice of all things."

Katniss opened her mouth to protest when Peeta spoke again.

"I know for a fact that you have never let Primrose Everdeen walk home from school alone."

"It could have happened!" She huffed. They both looked at her amused.

Peeta turned to Gale. "Thank you for everything you did tonight."

"You're welcome."

This time when they shook hands Katniss could see mutual respect dawning in their eyes.

Peeta wished her goodnight before trudging up the stairs.

"It'd be better if he were easier to hate." Gale said reluctantly.

"Tell me about it."

Since it was already dawn on Sunday morning, Katniss and Gale decided to take advantage of the time to hunt rather than return to their beds. After getting ready they met in their usual place.

Because of the snowfall the snares were slightly emptier than normal, but surprisingly they found a wild turkey this late in the year.

She was skinning a squirrel while Gale plucked the feathers from the bird when he spoke. His tone was far graver than she would have expected considering they had such a good haul this morning.

"What are you doing Catnip?"

"What do you mean?"

"I grew up in the Seam. Even if my mother isn't a healer, I know what Pennyroyal tonic looks like."

It felt wrong to hear Peeta's words come out of Gale's mouth but she couldn't look him in the eyes, afraid of what she might see.

She and Peeta hadn't touched or kissed since that fateful day. The tonic sat untouched amid all the other herbs in the kitchen, but Katniss couldn't forget about the small glass bottle, nor all the possibilities contained within the amber brew. It shouldn't surprise her that Gale noticed it as well. His keen sense of observation made him a great hunter.

"My mother gave it to me just to be safe."

"Are you and he—I thought you never wanted to…How can you risk it?"

"I'm not doing anything. I'm not risking anything! Not with an uprising in District Eight!" She shouted. The instant the words were out of her mouth she wanted to reclaim them. Their effect on Gale was immediate—the flush on his cheeks, the brightness of his grey eyes.

"There's an uprising in Eight?" he asked in a hushed voice. She tried to backpedal. To defuse him, as she tried to defuse the districts.

"I don't know if it's really an uprising. There's unrest. People in the streets —" she spoke quickly.

Gale grabbed her shoulders. "What did you see?"

"Nothing! In person. I saw something on the mayor's television. I wasn't supposed to. There was a crowd, and fires, and the Peacekeepers were gunning people down but they were fighting back. ..." she bit her lip, struggling to continue.

Instead she said aloud the words that had been eating her up inside. "And it's my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would've happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe, too."

"Safe to do what?" he said in a gentler tone. "Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven't hurt people—you've given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. There's already been talk in the mines. People who want to fight. Don't you see? It's happening! It's finally happening! If there's an uprising in District Eight, why not here? Why not everywhere? This could be it, the thing we've been—" He was so excited, so  _happy._ The happiest she'd since seen him since her return to District Twelve, it was unnerving.

"Stop it! You don't know what you're saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they're not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people — they mean less than nothing to them!" she yelled.

"That's why we have to join the fight!" he answered harshly.

"No! I won't let more people get hurt because of me! Think about your family Gale."

"What about the other families, Katniss? Don't you see? It can't be about just saving us anymore. Not if the rebellion's begun!" Gale shook his head, not hiding his disgust. "You could do so much."

"I've already done too much! You don't know what it's like to have someone else's blood on your hands. You wash and scrub but it stains you. I don't need any more ghosts haunting me."

"Then go back to Victor's Village. Go back to being some Capitol plaything."

"Damn you Gale!" Katniss was nearing tears. She needed to leave. To run far away from Gale and his excited rage. She tore through the forest, her feet barely touching the ground as she navigated the fallen branches and brush. She made it back to Victor's Village in almost no time at all.

The house was quiet and empty. She wanted to cry and scream. The rage and sadness warring within her left her unsteady on her feet. If she couldn't make Gale see reason, how could calm the unrest in the Districts? She couldn't. She would fail and President Snow would exact some kind of terrible revenge.

She saw the tonic sitting untouched amid all the other herbs and supplies in the kitchen. In another life, if her father had lived, or Prim had never been reaped, if there were no games or President Snow, maybe in that life that Katniss could allow herself to hope for something more. But now? With the snow falling and half the district freezing and hungry? With a rebellion looming and fire catching in the districts?

She picked up the bottle and threw it at the wall with all her might. The sound of shattering glass was loud and shrill in the cold house. She watched the amber liquid slowly drip down the wall.

That was a risk she could never take.

She ran to the bathroom, sick with desperation. The bile burned as her body expelled it. After, she rested her clammy forehead on the cold tile floor and allowed herself to drift…

Katniss came to groggy and disoriented. Once again she heard the sounds of an impatient knock on the door below, but it was Prim's shouts and hurried footsteps thudding on the stairs that brought her fully awake.

"KATNISS! KATNISS WHERE ARE YOU!" The frantic tone of her sister's voice made her blood run cold, it reminded her of the reaping. Katniss sprang to her feet and ran out the door. She met her sister at the top of the stairs. She looked Prim over for injuries and didn't see a scratch, her mind was momentarily relieved that her sister wasn't harmed. But the tears running down her cheeks and the abject horror in her eyes did nothing to ease Katniss' concern.

"What is it? What is it, Prim? Did something happen to mother?" She ran her hands over Prim's braids in a nervous gesture, once again assuring herself that the younger girl was safe.

"No, no! Just come. Hurry!" Prim tugged on her older sister's arm, pulling her down the stairs and out the door at an alarming rate.

They ran until they reached the square moments later. Katniss was surprised to see a crowd had gathered so late in the day despite the cold.

This wasn't good. Certainly Peacekeepers would disband them soon. People were discouraged from gathering in the square except for Reaping day and…

Reaping day and…

Her mind couldn't finish the thought. The crowd took a collective breath and then she heard an unrecognizable noise that stopped her in her tracks.

A whistling sound sailed through the air, resounding with a sharp crack.

It was the crack of a whip.

Followed by Katniss' strangled cry.


	8. Chapter 8

Some people in the crowd gave her pitying glances, other accusing glares but Katniss didn't care. She weaved between them, trying to get closer to the fray until she felt a hand on her arm.

"What are you doing here? Go home Catnip! You don't want to see this," Gale hissed at her.

She opened her mouth to tell him this is exactly where she should be but closed it when she heard another lash of the whip. She yanked her arm free and pushed her way through the crowd. Hands pushed her back and she heard voices murmuring.

"Poor girl."

"Damn foolish boy."

"Such a pity."

"What do you want to do? Get him killed?"

Katniss ignored their pity and their malice and finally broke through. She had only been able to see his head hung low from outside the throng of people but now she see could his blonde curls were nearly brown, soaked with mud and sweat and blood. Her eyes traveled down his back—or what remained of it anyway.

In place of smooth skin and firm muscles was torn skin so slick with blood it looked like a poorly butchered carcass.

"Peeta," his name slipped from her lips, a broken, whispered sob.

His wrists were bound to a wooden post. The wild turkey she and Gale shot earlier hung above him, a nail driven through its neck. Peeta's coat had been cast aside on the ground, his shirt torn away. The waistband of his pants absorbed the blood pouring down his back. He slumped unconscious on his knees, held up only by the ropes at his wrists, his bad leg twisted at an awkward angle. His entire upper body glistened with sweat and blood. Standing behind him was a man Katniss had never seen, but she recognized his uniform. It was the one designated for the Head Peacekeeper. It wasn't old Cray, though. It was a tall, muscular man with sharp creases in his pants. The pieces of the picture did not quite come together until she saw his arm raise the whip.

"No!" she cried out, and sprang forward. She threw herself between the whip and Peeta, blocking his broken body with her own. She was so intent on protecting him that she made no move to deflect the lash that landed with full force across the left side of her face. The pain was blinding and exploded through her skull, bringing her to her knees.

"Stop it! You'll kill him!" Katniss shrieked. She cupped her cheek in pain but stayed her ground; she would not let this man hurt Peeta again.

She glimpsed the assailant's face. Hard, with deep lines, a cruel mouth. Gray hair shaved almost to nonexistence, eyes so black they seemed all pupils. A long, straight nose reddened by the freezing air. His powerful arm lifted again, his sights set on her. She reached for an arrow from her quiver, prepared to send it straight into his chest but her bow was in the woods. She was weaponless, defenseless. Instead she wrapped herself around Peeta as best she could without touching his wounds and grit her teeth preparing for another blow until a voice rose above the crowd.

"Hold it!" Haymitch barked. The crowd easily parted to let him through. He nearly tripped over Darius, who Katniss just realized was laying on the ground, unconscious with a large purple bump on his head in sharp contrast to his bright red hair.

"What the hell is going on here?" He dragged Katniss to her feet and took her jaw within his hand, turning it from side to side and examining the damage to her face. "What am I going to tell her stylists when they start the honeymoon tour next week?"

"I don't care Abernathy. She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal."

"He's her husband, what do you expect?"

"Some wife she is," he said derisively.

Katniss was shocked and outraged by the brutish man's judgmental tone, but Haymitch turned to her and held his hands up to his lips, warning her to stay silent.

He turned to the large, menacing man and demanded, "Who authorized you to mess up my victor's pretty little face?"

"The Capitol has become aware of some…laxities in the districts that will now be corrected. No crime will go unpunished, victor or no."

At that moment a gust of wind blew over them and Katniss heard Peeta's almost imperceptible moan. She knelt down in front him and tenderly swept his hair back from his brow. His skin was scorching hot to the touch. His blue eyes were unfocused and swimming in pain. For a moment, they were back in the games, in the cave and Peeta was going to die from blood poisoning. It felt like a punch to the gut. She couldn't breathe. Once again, she was consumed with the fear of losing him.

She looked around; no one seemed to be enjoying the show. Peeta was just so good, of course the district wouldn't want to see him hurt, but there was nothing they could do unless they wanted to be punished themselves. She was surprised when a Peacekeeper named Purnia, who regularly ate at Greasy Sae's, stepped forward stiffly. "I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad."

The new Head Peacekeeper seemed to genuinely contemplate the prospect before deciding against executing a victor.

"Just get him out of here. Remember, things are different. Everybody plays by the rules now." He looked at Katniss. "Even you." Then he wiped his hand along the length of the whip, ridding it of Peeta's blood, and quickly coiled it into neat loops before hooking it onto his belt. "When he comes to, remind him that the next time he poaches off the Capitol's land, I'll assemble that firing squad personally."

Katniss fumbled with the ropes at Peeta's wrists until Haymitch took out a knife and cut him down. Peeta slumped against her, his unsteady breaths hot against the crook of her neck. His pulse was erratic and she felt his heart beating so fast and so hard she was afraid it would beat right out of his chest.

Haymitch bargained with a merchant woman until she sold them a board which they could use to carry Peeta from the square.

Prim pulled her away while Gale and Peeta's brother's loaded him onto the makeshift stretcher.

"Here," Prim said, handing Katniss a handful of snow. "For your face."

Haymitch turned to the sisters, "Maybe you should run ahead, give your mama some time to get ready and prepare a few things."

"I'm not leaving him," Katniss said through clenched teeth.

"I'll go, she'll need my help anyway." Prim set off, determination evident on her face.

Katniss could not tear her eyes from the mangled flesh of Peeta's back as the men lifted his body into the air. There were more lashes than she could count, someone had mentioned a number…40? 50? She couldn't recall. But each one had dug into his flesh more deeply than the last, until finally the bones of his shoulder blades were visible through the bloody mess.

She was reminded of the damage done by Cato's sword and had to swallow the bile that burned at the back of her throat. Guilt clawed at her insides. Once again Peeta had been hurt protecting her. Her mind flashed back to the rainy afternoon when he gave her the bread and the welt on his cheek the next day. No, she would never be able to repay him. She just hoped his kindness wouldn't get him killed.

Gale, Thom, and Peeta's brothers carried him away from the now empty square. Katniss tore away from Haymitch and ran to walk alongside the procession. In one hand, she held the snow to her face but in the other she tightly clutched Peeta's left hand, deftly tracing the gold band of his wedding ring over and over.

Soon they reached the Victor's Village, light radiated from the Everdeen home while smoke billowed from the chimneys. Katniss let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding when her mother came into sight. Gone was the sad, vacant, grieving widow who nearly let her children starve. In her place was a smart, capable woman who quickly took command of the situation. Healing was the only time her mother ever seemed truly alive since her father's death and, for once, Katniss was grateful instead of bitter.

Mrs. Everdeen instructed the men to lay Peeta down on the kitchen table which she covered with a clean white cloth. Prim stood at the stove taking bandages out of a pot of boiling water while simultaneously grabbing countless jars filled with dried herbs and setting them on the counter for their mother.

For the first time in a very long time, Katniss pleaded with her mother, "Please. Save him."

Her mother looked up and immediately her eyes were drawn to the lash on her daughter's cheek. Her hand moved over the bruise tenderly but her voice was firm, in control. "Put some snow on that."

Katniss grew frustrated at her mother's lack of answer. "Tell me that you can save him! Tell me that you can do this!"

Infuriatingly, her mother ignored her outburst and continued to work with Prim to prepare things for Peeta's treatment.

"Don't worry Sweetheart. This ain't the first time your mama's done this. Your boy's in good hands."

Katniss' eyes were drawn to her mother's skilled hands as they deftly worked the herb mixture until a strong-smelling paste formed. She gave Prim instructions on a how to brew a second batch before she began the gruesome task of cleaning Peeta's back. Mrs. Everdeen took the hot, wet cloths and in small, gentle strokes began wiping the blood and sweat and grime from his body.

Katniss had never been able to watch her mother and sister treat the sick or injured. She couldn't stomach the smell of flesh burned in a mine accident or see emaciated children and their distended bellies sick with hunger. But this was different, this was Peeta. And Katniss couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight of his injuries. Her mother gently worked the torn skin and muscle back into their proper places and it was then that the true extent of his injuries was revealed. The lash of the whip had cut him to the bone along his strong shoulders, and mangled the muscled flesh of his back all the way down to the base of his spine, just above his hips.

Mrs. Everdeen finished her task and placed bandages on his back to absorb the blood that still seeped from his wounds. Shortly after, he began to stir and his eyes screwed tightly shut. Just the effort it took to breathe — the simple rise and fall of his chest — caused him unimaginable pain.

And it was all her fault, Katniss thought.

She saw her mother and Prim look through their meager store of pain remedies, herbs and sleep syrup, and knew that it wouldn't be enough.

"Don't you dare hold back on him. Give him the damn medicine!" Katniss shouted at her mother.

Mrs. Everdeen looked so much like an angel of mercy with soft blonde hair and blue eyes. But the look on her mother's face wasn't soft, it was surprisingly hard and fierce and familiar…

It seemed Katniss inherited her scowl from her mother.

"Katniss we need to save the medicine…"

"NO!" She screamed. "Nobody needs this more than him."

"Mama, please." Prim whispered from her place behind their mother.

Her face softened, her eyes apologetic. "Girls I can't. I can't just give it to anybody in pain."

"He's not anybody! He's Peeta." She sobbed brokenly, "It's Peeta."

"I can't…"

Katniss began shouting obscenities at her mother when Haymitch and Gale pulled her into the living room and forced her into chair before the fireplace. Haymitch walked over to the seldom used liquor cabinet and returned with a heavy crystal class filled with a brown liquid.

"Here," he said gruffly.

Katniss took a large gulp of the liquid. It burned going down but the burn felt good, warm, welcome even. She continued to sip at the glass until its contents were gone and the roar of pain in her head and cheek had calmed to a dull ache. It was then that she took in the rest of the men in the room: Peeta's brother's sat quietly on the sofa, their faces etched in concern. Her chest tightened looking at them, their blonde hair, blue eyes and stocky builds so similar to their younger brother. Darius sat in a chair opposite her near the fireplace, holding a cloth filled with snow to the bump on his head.

Haymitch and Gale stood in the corner, whispering about President Snow and uprisings and rebellions. She should care about these things but she didn't. The only thing Katniss cared about in that moment was the boy with the bread and that his life was once again in danger because of her.

She heard footsteps at the door and froze. Fear surged through her body at the thought that new Head Peacekeeper changed his mind and was coming to take Peeta away. That, unimaginably, his punishment could worsen. His sentence could be death.

Haymitch opened the door and there stood Thom. He left some time ago to collect Mr. Mellark. Her heart clenched in her chest when the baker stepped through the doorway. His blue eyes were swimming in tears and his large, broad shoulders shook with effort to contain his emotions. But when his eyes settled on Peeta's prostrate form, lying unconscious, bleeding and broken on the table, a dam broke within the quiet, reserved baker.

"My boy," he sobbed loudly before rushing over to Peeta. His burn-scarred hands hovered over Peeta, unsure where to comfort, to touch. His pleading eyes found Mrs. Everdeen and she nodded, letting him know it was okay. His large, sturdy frame dropped heavily into one of their kitchen chairs and he settled his face close to his youngest son's before running his fingers through his hair in a familiar fatherly gesture Katniss was sure he must have done when Peeta was a little boy.

Mr. Mellark's agony compounded the ache inside Katniss. Would she never the fail the Mellark men? Men who had always been so kind and helpful to her family.

Men who had only ever loved the Everdeen women.

She remembered the cookies he had brought to her on the day of the reaping. He had known long before Katniss, or anyone really, that Peeta would sacrifice himself for her in the arena. He should have hated her, but instead he offered kindness and comfort. He swore to protect her family while she couldn't.

No, Katniss would  _never_  be good enough for the Mellark men.

She averted her gaze from the scene in the kitchen because it was too painful to watch.

The alcohol Haymitch had given her earlier brought her emotions to the surface, making her feel exposed and raw. Anger swelled within her and she latched onto the familiar emotion. A question burned on the tip of her tongue. She needed to know, she didn't understand. She demanded to know what happened.

Peeta's eldest brother spoke first. "He saw the new Head Peacekeeper come into town on the train. First thing the new Head did was dispatch old Cray, told him to round up all the undesirables. Then he started posting all these banners and signs about new regulations and how they would be enforced, he made certain to post the bans on poaching and trespassing the district border right in the center where everyone could see. Peet started getting really nervous because he knew where you were and what you were up to."

Gale spoke up next, "After I finished trading I headed towards town, on my way to Cray's to offer him the day's take, because I knew he would pay top dollar for the bird. I was a street down from the bakery when Peeta came running towards me. He took the game bag right out of my hands and ran off. He yelled back at me to get you home. He had no way of knowing you already were home."

Darius spoke next, his speech slow because he was still somewhat groggy. "I don't know what Peeta was planning to do. Maybe he thought to hide the game or burn it or something but when he ran back to the bakery Thread, that's new Head's name, had us all already there and waiting. I think he set the trap for Hawthorne. Maybe Peeta might have thought he'd get some leniency being a Victor and all, but Thread only seemed more excited by the prospect. I tried to stop Thread from tying him to the post and that's when he clubbed me with his baton. I understand why no one else stepped in."

"I didn't understand was happening, but then I noticed the crowd forming so I went to see what was going on," Gale said. "I saw the whipping post and the turkey..."

Peeta's middle brother finally spoke, "After he first struck Peeta, none of us knew what do to. We were frozen."

Katniss' emotions were in turmoil but she clung to her anger. "None of you thought that I should be there? My 13-year old little sister had be the one to come get me!" She turned on Haymitch who had been quietly standing in the corner, his eyes glued to Mrs. Everdeen's hands changing the bandages on Peeta's back. "And  _you!_ Where were you? Why weren't you there? You're our mentor, why didn't you protect him you drunk son of a bitch!" She punctuated each question by furiously pounding her fists into his chest and Haymitch let her. Until her yelling turned sobbing. Then he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Easy, Sweetheart, easy. I'd have taken every lash for the boy if I could."

Gale rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head in hands. He looked weary and distraught. The room was silent for a long time until he spoke, his voice riddled with guilt. "Why'd he do it? That should have been me."

"It shouldn't have been anyone, Mr. Hawthorne." No one had noticed Mr. Mellark come into the room. "No one should be punished for trying to feed their family or for trying to protect their family."

Mr. Mellark sat on the sofa and wrapped his arms around his two older sons. His voice was thick with emotion when he spoke again. "Ever since he was a boy, the only person Peeta could stand to see hurt was himself." At that moment Katniss locked eyes with Mr. Mellark and she knew without a doubt, that he knew about the bread and what it had cost his son to give it to her.

Prim entered the room and walked straight into her sister's arms, offering Katniss a reassuring hug. "You can go in now, Kat. Mama says it's okay," Prim smiled at her, practically shooing Katniss into the kitchen.

Her mother had put a clean layer of bandages on Peeta's back and for now the linen remained white. Katniss didn't see a sign or trace of the bloody rags or tools her mother may have used to treat Peeta and she was grateful for the thoughtfulness.

She sat in the same chair as Mr. Mellark and grabbed hold of Peeta's hand. She ran her other hand along the lines and planes of his face. She placed her palm to his clammy forehead, burning with fever. She traced her fingertips underneath the delicate crescent moon-shape his eyelashes formed on his flushed cheeks; across his brow furrowed in pain; down the slope of his straight nose to his lips; soft full lips that held so much power. Lips that formed words with the ability to shock a nation, words that could calm—or incite—an entire district if he chose. Lips that she'd kissed a hundred times; that had been her refuge from the storm.

She placed her chapped lips to his; making a silent bargain that if the boy with bread survived she would do everything it took to deserve him.

And she would do it in one lifetime not a hundred.

When Katniss broke the kiss she saw blue eyes staring back at her.

"Peeta. I'm so sorry," she whispered softly, brushing hair out of his eyes.

It took a moment for his eyes to focus on her, but when they did they were immediately drawn to her swollen, discolored cheek. He hissed in pain as he slowly brought his hand up to her face to trace the line of her jaw, across her lips, and finally to her wounded cheek.

"You're hurt," he said with a bewildered look on his face.

"You're hurt worse," she said, covering his hand with her own.

"But you weren't supposed to be there."

"Neither were you. Why did you do it Peeta? This wasn't your punishment to take."

He spoke slowly, his words catching in his throat because of the pain but Katniss understood him perfectly. "Why did you volunteer for P-Prim at the Reaping?"

Katniss blinked several times, trying to think of a response. Of course she volunteered for her dear, sweet, Prim. Prim was her sister. She loved her.

"Because I love her and I couldn't stand to see her hurt."

He looked at her intently for several moments before he spoke. "I love you Katniss."

It was strange, she  _knew_ he loved her. Had known for some time now, but he'd never actually said the words before. And when he did, she couldn't stop her traitorous heart from beating that much faster.

He continued, "You risked everything for Prim. I'm just following your example."

She scowled at his words and spoke tersely, "I don't deserve it."

"You deserve everything."

Peeta was just slipping into unconsciousness when a knock sounded at the door. Startled, he quickly jerked awake at the noise, causing fresh blood to stain his bandages.

Gale opened door and there stood Madge Undersee.

She nearly shrieked Gale's name in surprise.

"Madge?" He asked confused by her presence at such a late hour.

"I brought some medicine for Peeta. It's my mom's…from the Capitol…it should help." She thrust a small box in his hands and turned to leave but not before Gale could call her back.

"Wait Madge, come inside! You shouldn't be out in this storm alone."

She heeded Gale's call and returned to the house. She entered and shook the snow from her boots before making her way into the kitchen.

Madge's direct gaze was impressive. The mayor's daughter didn't avert her eyes from the sight of Peeta's injuries when she spoke. "It's the only way we knew how to help," she said motioning to the medicine still in Gale's possession.

He handed the box over to Mrs. Everdeen who took it with a grateful nod towards Madge. "Thank you." She opened the box to reveal the glass vials within. She grabbed a syringe from her kit and was about to inject the clear liquid into Peeta's vein when Katniss put her hand on her mother's arm, halting her progress.

"What is it?"

"Morphling, Katniss. It's for the pain."

"This will make him better?"

"It will certainly help."

Katniss removed her hand and nodded her permission. "Okay."

Not long after her mother administered the medication, Katniss could see the effect on Peeta. The lines of tension on his face smoothed somewhat and his breathing grew more calm and regular.

She locked eyes with Madge and offered a silent thank you to her friend.

The storm had picked up considerably in the hours since they cleared from the square. Gale needed to return to his family and offered to walk Madge home. It didn't seem safe for her to be out in the storm alone. After that, the house quickly began to empty.

The Mellark men settled in the guest bedrooms at Katniss and Peeta's house. Prim had been sent to bed hours ago. Haymitch sat by the fire in the living room, nursing a bottle of white liquor clutched tightly in his hands. Mrs. Everdeen hovered in between the kitchen and living areas. She was careful to give Katniss and Peeta privacy but she was also right there if her patient needed her.

Everyone tried to persuade Katniss to rest, to leave her vigil at Peeta'side. But even the pleading of her dear little sister could not move Katniss. She stayed at the table, one hand entwined with Peeta's, the other gently combing through his blond hair. She rested her forehead against his and began to hum the Valley Song, willing him to stay with her. Always.


	9. Chapter 9

The storm raged before finally letting up on the third day. During that time, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim diligently continued Peeta's treatment. They changed his bandages and administered the morphling sparingly. Katniss felt useless sitting idly by watching her capable mother and sister do more for Peeta than she could. Mrs. Everdeen sensed her daughter's unrest and so enlisted Katniss' help.

"You w-want me to do what?" She asked incredulously.

Mrs. Everdeen poured water from a hot kettle into a basin adding snow and some herbs until the brew was just right. She then settled a few washcloths in the mixture before placing it on the table next to Peeta.

"You can do this Katniss, it's really very simple. One doesn't need to be a healer to bathe someone."

"What if I hurt him, or tear open the skin on his back? Why can't you or Prim do this?" she nearly whined.

"I'm tired, Katniss. Your sister has finally gotten a full night's sleep and I'm not entirely sure Mr. Abernathy didn't spike her tea. I'm not going to wake her up when you are fully capable of doing this. I trust that you won't hurt him."

Katniss bit her lip, looking back and forth between Peeta's sleeping form and her mother's weary face. Mrs. Everdeen's eyes were glassy and bloodshot and greasy wisps of her blond hair had loosed themselves from the coiled braid at the nape of her neck. Her mother was still wearing the same dress she had on when they brought Peeta to her home that first night.

She looked at Peeta. Her mother and Prim had done an excellent job of stitching his torn skin back together and keeping his wounds clean, but his hair was dark and limp with grease. Lines of sweat streaked his body.

She had balked at the idea when her mother first suggested that she bathe Peeta, it had made her strangely shy and nervous but the look on her mother's face brooked no argument. Peeta  _needed_ to be cleaned up and she  _was_ in a position to do it. It wouldn't be the first time after all.

At least all of Panem wouldn't be watching this time.

Katniss' olive skin paled when her mother pointed out that the greatest danger to his recovery was infection.

She immediately began pacing the room frantically until Mrs. Everdeen placed a hand on her daughter's arm and smiled wearily, "We're not going the let that happen Katniss. I promise he won't get sick like that again. We can take care of him."

"You're sure of it? He won't get..." she dropped her voice to a whisper, "He won't get blood poisoning?"

"It's most unlikely. We got to him quickly this time and treated his wounds immediately. All we've got to do is keep him clean, keep applying these herbs and his body should do the rest."

Finally convinced of the necessity of the situation, Katniss nodded her consent. She averted her eyes when her mother took a pair of scissors and removed Peeta's trousers and underclothes before covering him with a large, white sheet.

Mrs. Everdeen grabbed a washcloth and instructed Katniss to gently but thoroughly cleanse Peeta of all the sweat and grime that had accumulated on his body since the whipping.

Katniss moved to stand at the head of the table. Once she began the task her mother went upstairs to let exhaustion claim her. Katniss set a large pot on a chair positioned directly below Peeta's head and began gently pouring water over his blond locks. The water collecting in the pot darkened quickly. When the golden hue of his hair was once again visible, she leaned down to whisper his own words in his ear, "Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right?"

She froze when Peeta stirred slightly. When he didn't wake she continued with her ministrations. She wiped his face and his brow and moved down to his neck and shoulders. Perhaps he wasn't lithe and agile like Gale but he had always been so strong, so sturdy. She traced the muscular planes of his arms and torso with the washcloth and felt waves of heat wash over her. Her breathing hitched as her hands moved lower to wash the lines of his hip. She moved the cloth covering his bottom half lower until the curve of his buttock was revealed. She had no idea bathing Peeta like this would be so intimate. She was grateful for the sleep syrup and morphling rendering him unconscious, she didn't think she could do this — let her hands and eyes roam his body — with his blue eyes watching her.

Was this how he felt when he looked at her? Chaotic heat stole the breath from her body, making her ache for his touch. She had always liked kissing Peeta and there had been the few times she wanted more but lately it was different. She felt like all those stolen moments were just fanning a fire between them, a fire she felt licking at her insides this very moment. A fire she was so very tempted to let consume her. As her hands gently moved down his legs to wash his toned and firm thighs, her mind flashed back to the memory of what occurred in their kitchen the other day. The sensation of his hands on her breasts had felt devastatingly good, deliciously right. She hadn't meant for it to become the heated exchange that it did. She just couldn't help herself in the moment. She had missed Peeta, missed his warmth and what had begun as an innocent effort at reconciliation spiraled into so much more.

She shook her head to rid herself of the lustful memories and continued her task with renewed focus. She washed his bad leg and neared the juncture where the prosthetic met his flesh. She'd never seen it fully exposed before. She didn't think Peeta intentionally hid it from her, it wasn't in his nature to be self-conscious, but she imagined he tried to keep it from her because he knew she blamed herself.

She finished bathing him and had just tucked a soft, warm blanket around his lower half when Katniss heard someone pounding furiously on the front door.

She walked into the living room. Peeta's brothers were facing off in a game of chess, struggling to occupy their worried minds. Haymitch and Mr. Mellark simply sat staring into the fire, sharing silence and occasionally the flask tucked away in her mentor's pocket.

The impatient knocking continued and Katniss grew angry with whoever was disturbing them. She yanked the door open forcefully and scowled at the person on the other side.

The witch stood outside their door, pursing her lips in disgust. Her graying blonde hair was pulled back so tightly it made her face look pinched. It suited her. Mrs. Mellark stared at Katniss disdainfully for a moment before she forcefully brushed past her. She stalked into the living room where she glanced furiously at her husband and two elder sons before her enraged gaze settled on Katniss.

"I should have known! I should have known my family would be shacked up with the likes of you!" she shrieked.

"For two days a blizzard has raged through District 12 and where was my family? Not home with me, not helping with the damn bakery! That's for sure!

"I was alone and freezing in that godforsaken house and my husband and sons have been here in the lap of luxury with the Everdeens!" She said their name like a curse.

The woman's venomous tone and hateful words reverberated through the room. Mr. Mellark rose from the couch and began speaking to her in hushed tones, trying to calm her down but to no avail. The fire of Mrs. Mellark's rage had never burned so brightly.

Katniss could not believe the cruelty and careless disregard of the women standing before her. Her son had nearly died and all she cared about was herself.  _How could she be Peeta's mother?_   _How could she possibly have brought such goodness into the world?_

Haymitch wasn't scared of Mrs. Mellark's rage or the threat of her clenched fists, "The boy nearly died woman, don't you feel a damn thing?"

She screeched her reply, "He's a fool, nothing but a damn fool for that girl. It's his own fault he got beaten in the middle of the square. It's humiliating!"

Something within Katniss broke at the cruel woman's careless words and despite all her efforts to ignore the witch she snapped, "He was nearly beaten within an inch of his life and all you care about is  _public humiliation_?"

"No!" She yelled, directing her rage at Katniss. "I care that time and again my stupid son puts himself in harm's way for  _you_! That he puts our dignity on the line for _you_! Telling all of Panem that he loves you, getting stabbed by that Cato boy, getting whipped to protect you and your filthy Seam lover!

"You think that I don't know he burned that bread on purpose? To save his little Seam slut? He should have let you starve and saved us all a world of trouble!"

Before a strangled gasp could escape Katniss, before anyone else could react to his mother's venomous words, Peeta's voice rang out clearly, with more force than he had spoken in days, "Get out." The absolutely cold and steely tone of his voice sent shivers down Katniss' spine, but it was nothing compared to the ice in his blue eyes.

He stood leaning on the archway in between the kitchen and living room, clutching the blanket around his middle. "Get out and don't ever talk to my wife like that again."

Peeta's mother stood aghast, the rage in her eyes subdued by shock. Peeta had never seemed so fearsome or menacing before. Katniss had never known him to be so intimidating or fierce, not even during their time in the arena. Though, perhaps the danger emanating from him in this moment was a result of their experience in the Games. Every trace of his easy smile and affable nature were gone and in that moment everyone was reminded that he was not any ordinary boy but a victor of the Hunger Games: a fighter, a survivor — a killer.

Even if it was only a technicality; even if it was only because of circumstance and those damn berries, Katniss knew Foxface's fate weighed heavily upon him.

The witch recovered from her shock and turned on Peeta, letting him feel the lash of her tongue like Thread's whip. "History is going to repeat itself isn't it, boy? You just watch. That  _wife_  of yours is just like her mother. She's going to break the baker's heart and run off with a coal miner!"

Peeta was faltering, his grip on the archway tightened and a light sheen of sweat covered his skin but he kept himself steady. He growled, "Get out!" He looked to his father, an anguished look of commiseration passing between them. "Get her out of here and don't ever bring her back." The baker nodded to his son and escorted his huffing wife out of the house, Peeta's brothers followed behind with sympathetic looks on their faces.

As soon as she heard the slam of the front door Katniss rushed to Peeta's side, just in time for him to collapse into her arms. Together they hobbled back over to the kitchen table.

"Peeta what were you thinking?" She looked over his shoulder to his back and saw blood soaking his bandages. Her mother helped Katniss lay him down on the table before tending to the newly torn flesh on his back. "Why would you do that? You shouldn't be walking around for weeks! Why do keep getting hurt for me?" Katniss whispered the last words, pushing his hair from his eyes.

Peeta held her hand while Mrs. Everdeen redressed the wounds, sending apologetic looks her daughter's way — apologizing for the hurtful accusations the baker's wife had leveled at her daughter on her behalf, wishing they weren't true. Katniss simply nodded at her mother, acknowledging the elder woman's attempts to make amends in this mess of a situation before returning her attention to Peeta. "Why Peeta?" She repeated the question, her voice breaking in witness to his agony.

His reply was a whisper, a tender declaration, "You're my wife. I'll always protect you."

"We protect each other," Katniss said, placing a kiss on his temple before her mother gave him another draught of sleep syrup. Their grey and blue gazes locked until he drifted off to sleep. Once she was sure there was no chance of him waking she kissed him lightly on the mouth, noting that the sweetness of his lips had nothing to do with the medicine he had just taken.

* * *

Katniss woke the next morning to the scent of the woods, oranges and coal dust. Gale had silently entered the kitchen sometime before. He stood watching her sleep sitting contorted uncomfortably in a chair next to the table, her right hand entwined with Peeta's, her left buried in his hair and her face impossibly close to his, their eyelashes nearly tangling. He watched with a painful swelling in his chest, a petty jealously rising within him, wishing he were the one lying on that table if only to have Katniss so close.

He pulled a chair out from the table, letting the legs drag lightly across the floor to wake her, knowing her hunter's senses would alert her to his presence. "You should go to bed and get some sleep Catnip. He won't wake for hours and it'll be a few days more 'til he can leave that table from what I hear. Especially considering last night's festivities."

She sleepily wiped her sleeve along the side of her mouth. "I take it you heard about the witch's visit?" She asked wearily, taking in Gale's appearance and realizing that there was no snow in his dark hair and the water he tracked in on his boots had nearly dried completely. How long had he been there, she wondered.

"I did. I also heard about his heroics on your behalf. I guess we really shouldn't expect any less." Gale tried to joke, but it was too close to the truth to be funny.

Katniss and Gale sat in silence for a long moment until she let her head rest heavily upon the table. She felt so drained; she never thought she'd feel this tired again outside of the arena.

"Really Catnip, I can watch him. Go to bed. You need sleep. You won't be doing him any favors if you don't take care of yourself."

Katniss didn't raise her head and with closed eyes spoke so quietly she may have been talking to the table rather than Gale, "I can't. I can't sleep in our bed without him."

_Our bed._

Katniss didn't see Gale wince at her words. He recovered quickly, his face slipping into an impassive mask just in time before Prim entered the room. She offered Gale a small smile but then dutifully tended to her patient.

It was time to change Peeta's bandages. She removed the old cloths and gently applied an herbal mixture along the rows of neat stitches on his back.

Gale wanted to tear his eyes away but couldn't. He felt like he was intruding on a moment he had no right to be a part of but at the same time he couldn't help but admire Mellark's foolhardy bravery. Those lashes should have been his. The stitches and the eventual scars should have been his. He didn't want to be indebted to the baker's son, but he would be — eternally.

Katniss' eyes were likewise glued to Peeta's back until Prim laid new, clean, white bandages on over his wounds and declared her work done.

"I can stay with Peeta. Why don't you two go for a walk? It'll be good for you get some fresh air Katniss. You haven't left the house in days."

"Prim, I can't."

"She's right Catnip. Come on." Gale tugged lightly on her arm until she rose from her chair.

At the door she put on her boots and coat and listened to Prim chatter away from the kitchen. Whether she was talking to an unconscious Peeta or her mangy cat Buttercup she didn't know, but she couldn't help but smile at her sister's eternal optimism.

Katniss and Gale walked around the Victor's Village in mutual silence for several long moments until she sighed heavily and turned to Gale. She looked at him sadly, mournfully. "I'm so sorry Gale. It's my fault. Everything is all my fault."

"Don't say things like that Catnip."

"You should hate me."

"But I don't."

Her voice was filled with frustration. "We can't go into the woods Gale. How are you going to feed your family? I know you won't take my Victor's winnings."

He smirked. "No, I won't. But I'll figure something out. I always do. We always do." He said the last word slowly, carefully.

"How Gale? Your pay from the mines and Hazelle doing all the laundry in the Seam won't feed the five of you through winter."

Gale's face betrayed him.

"What? What is it? They can't fire you from the mines. They wouldn't!"

"No, it's not that," he hedged, nervously running his hand along the back of his neck and up through his dark hair.

"Tell me." Katniss said through gritted teeth.

"It's just that, Mom's lost a few clients lately. It's not a big deal, really. It's a lean winter for everyone" he explained, his voice placating.

Katniss stood silently for a moment, absorbing the implications of Gale's confession. And she knew, she  _knew_ , the reason people stopped hiring Hazelle out as a laundress was because of her, because they feared a blowback from Thread.

Rage coiled inside her and she wanted nothing more than to send an arrow directly into the Head Peacekeeper's chest.

Gale grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look directly into his eyes. He took deep, calming breaths encouraging her to the same.

"Easy Catnip. Calm down. Don't worry, we'll make do."

"You  _have_  to let me help you."

"No."

"Gale, please!"

"No! I don't want anything from the Capitol!" He spit out.

"Don't think of it like that, it's  _my_ money. Take it!"

"You would never take a hand out!" He shouted.

"Yes I would!" Katniss' matching shout was so loud it echoed across the empty Village.

They were silent for a long moment, their chests heaving with the force of their outbursts. When Katniss next spoke it was barely above a whisper. "You have no idea, Gale. I would…I-I have," she choked out.

His brow furrowed in confusion, but he silently willed her to go on.

She could not easily form the words of her confession — the story of when Peeta gave her the bread. The words felt heavy on her tongue, forcing her speak slowly. "It was a long time ago, before I met you but…"

A loud whistle rang out from across the Victor's Village, interrupting her tale.

She looked over to see Haymitch on his front porch. She could tell by the parcels he carried that he had just returned from town.

"Come here Sweetheart, and bring tall, dark and brooding with ya."

Gale rolled his eyes at the name but they dutifully crossed the snowy expanse of the Village and followed Haymitch inside. The house was its typical mess but warm, a hearty fire crackling in the hearth. At least her mentor wasn't going to let himself freeze to death in a drunken stupor.

"Goddamn this house is filthy," Gale muttered under his breath to Katniss.

"You want to clean it boy?" Haymitch asked looking over his shoulder.

Gale shook his head sheepishly, not thinking the aging Victor would hear his remark.

They followed him into the kitchen where he set a few brown paper bags on the table. One was clearly several bottles of white liquor, probably the last Ripper would make for a long time with the new Head cracking down on everyone. There were a few cuts of meat wrapped in tell-tale white butcher paper and, lastly, a loaf of bread neatly tucked into its sleeve.

Haymitch ambled around putting his provisions away. He seemed to be taking his time about it and Katniss and Gale were growing impatient, wondering why he had called them over.

"What do you want Abernathy?" Gale questioned first.

He pointed at them and then at the chairs surrounding his filthy kitchen table. "You two, sit."

They did as he said. Gale sat stiffly waiting as Haymitch grabbed a glass from a nearby countertop, held it up to light and judged it clean enough before pouring himself a hearty serving of white liquor. Then he grabbed a knife and cleaned it off with his sweater before slicing the loaf of bread, placing it on the center of the table before them.

He sat heavily in his chair and took a long drink before motioning to the bread, "Have some. It's fresh. Still warm. Don't know why, damn fool baker should be giving me moldy bricks after all I've done to help but the man's so decent he thinks  _he owes_   _me._  As if it's not the other way around entirely." Haymitch shook his head as if to clear it before taking another long drink.

"What's your point Abernathy?" Gale asked, his tone rising in frustration.

"My point is there isn't a single person at this table who doesn't owe something to Peeta Mellark. Now just calm your britches for one minute Hawthorne and listen to what I'm about to tell you. Something's going to happen. What happened to Peeta is just the beginning."

"You mean more whippings?" Gale questioned.

"Not exactly. I mean it's possible but I think something bigger is coming. There's a storm on the horizon."

"I don't understand," Katniss spoke quietly. "I thought we took care of it. I thought we did what we needed to do to appease Snow." She threw her mentor a knowing look, "I thought he was convinced."

"I guess not anymore Sweetheart. Doesn't surprise me though, that the rumors swirling around here reached him in the Capitol."

"What do you mean?"

Haymitch rubbed his jaw thoughtfully before turning to Gale, ignoring Katniss' question. "Hunting is out of the question. You can't go back into the woods. Neither of you." He said, emphasizing his last words.

Gale shook his head. "I know."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I don't…what do you mean?"

"I mean how are you going to feed your family? I know what a miner makes and I know together you and your mama, no matter how hard she works, can't stretch your pennies enough to feed five mouths."

Gale scowled at the older man for his intrusion. "It's none of your damn business. We'll make do."

"Hm hmm. Right." Haymitch's tone was doubtful but not mocking, which was the only thing that kept Gale from storming out of his house.

Haymitch looked around his house, thinking quietly for a long moment. "When the weather lets up, why don't you send your mama over here? Maybe we can work out a deal and she can clean my damn 'filthy' house."

Gale looked taken aback, surprised by the surly drunk's generosity. "Why? Why would you do that?"

Haymitch looked sharply at Gale. Their Seam grey eyes reflecting back at each other. "I don't like condemning the children of this district to death any more than I already have to."

Katniss was stunned by her mentor's brutal honesty but moved by his kindness. Gale wasn't his kin or even his responsibility in the way that she and Peeta were. Hell, she didn't even think Haymitch liked him all that much, but he was doing a good thing by helping the Hawthornes. It would be honest work for Hazelle and probably a lot less back breaking.

"Alright, I'll let her know…sir." The words tumbled awkwardly out his mouth.

"Don't patronize me boy. None of that 'sir' crap, you hear?"

"Yeah. Yes." Gale shook his head affirmatively along with his words.

"Now, like I was saying. Something is coming. Just about everyone at the Hob is battening down the hatches. It would be wise for us to do the same."

"You," he looked at Gale, "You keep your mouth shut and your head down but keep your eyes and ears open in those mines, you understand?"

Gale nodded in understanding.

"Good, now why don't you head on home. Give my best to your mama."

Gale's face showed his displeasure at being dismissed but he did as he was told.

As soon as the door closed behind Gale, Katniss turned to her mentor, questions spilling forth from her in a jumble.

"Easy, Sweetheart. Give me a minute. Sure you don't want a drink? It might make the news go down a little smoother."

She scowled at her mentor, clearly not amused.

"Fine. You want it straight then." He ran his hands through his long, greasy hair before continuing. "Things don't look so good Sweetheart. There are a lot rumors swirling around and none of them good for you."

"What are you talking about Haymitch? Just tell me!"

"Rumor has it you and your lover set Peeta up to take the fall with Thread. That you intended for him to get hurt, hoping he might die so you two could be together."

"Me and my lover? What? Who…?" Katniss' eyes widened in realization. "You mean Gale and me? People think that I…that we…w-would do something like  _that?_ "

"You think I'm lying? That I'm making this up? Go into town Sweetheart and you'll see. There's a tide turning against you, it's a small number of people but real nonetheless. If the people of Twelve think you're skirting around on the boy, what do you think Snow believes? That Mellark woman is peddling her gossip to anyone who will buy it. Considering damn near everyone needs bread she's got a pretty captive audience."

"But everyone knows that she's a miserable witch. They can't possibly believe her!"

"Look, it's a shitty situation and she's trying to come out smelling like a rose. Keep her family name clean if this all goes south. Think about it. You run off into the woods all the time with a boy that ain't your husband. A boy you've been hanging around for years. What do you expect people to think? It's not a very farfetched notion to think you and Hawthorne did more than hunt out there, now is it?"

"But we didn't! I swear we didn't. It was never like that."

"Never?" Haymitch looked down his nose at her and she wondered how he knew. Because there was no mistaking the look in his eyes, he knew about the one transgression she had ever made.

"I-I...it's not…" she stumbled around the words. "I would never betray Peeta."

"I know, Sweetheart, believe me. You don't have it in you to be a seductress, no matter what that vile bitch is telling people."

"It was just a kiss. It didn't mean anything, Haymitch. I didn't feel anything." She dropped her head into her hands.

"I've said it before, I'll say it again. You could do a lot worse than that boy. In fact, you couldn't possibly do better, but dammit Sweetheart sometimes you just don't see the forest through the trees. It's because of that you still don't deserve him."

"I-I want to," she whispered quietly.

"Yeah?" Haymitch took another long drag from his drink. "Tell me straight girl. I know what I think but you tell me. Do you care for that boy?" For once, there was no mocking in her mentor's tone. His eyes were glassy but still surprisingly clear. "I mean differently than you care for Hawthorne. Do you have the kind of feelings a wife should for a husband?"

"I-I don't know. I think so…sometimes."

He nearly choked on his drink at that. "Ha, I don't want to know about  _that_  Sweetheart. Though it's about damn time if I do say so."

She blushed furiously at her mentor's implication.

Haymitch laid his hand on top of hers and willed her to look him in the eyes. "Things are happening Sweetheart and I want you and the boy to survive it. Just take care of him, alright?"

She twisted the wedding ring on her finger. "I can do that."

Haymitch tipped his drink in her direction before finishing the contents of the glass. "Good girl."

* * *

Several days later Mrs. Everdeen declared that Peeta was well enough to return home and sleep in his own bed on the strict condition that Katniss should tend to him dutifully and not allow him to do anything that would open or aggravate his wounds.

The morning he was set to return to their house in the Victor's Village, Madge and Gale arrived.

Katniss was surprised to find the mayor's daughter on her doorstep. Especially with Gale. She imagined after Madge's help with the morphling she wouldn't see the girl again. In light of the circumstances she had prepared for their friendship to be over.

"I wasn't expecting you," Katniss said as Madge entered the doorway with Gale behind her pulling a red wagon full of food.

"I ran into Gale on my way over. He offered to help me bring this to the Village," she said as she began to unload boxes and baskets from the wagon.

"Madge, what is this? You didn't need to do this. We don't need charity," Katniss said defensively.

"Katniss, it's not charity," she said softly. "It's traditional neighborly manners." Katniss was going to argue that they weren't exactly neighbors when Madge continued. "You're going to be busy tending to Peeta, you'll need to eat. I even had our chef prepare lamb stew because I remembered it was your favorite."

"Your chef?" Gale questioned incredulously.

Madge looked down sheepishly but continued to unload the basket of food. Soon the icebox was nearly bursting but she still had more in the cart. "I guess I brought too much."

"Gale, you should take it," Katniss offered.

He rolled his shoulders defensively. "I don't need…"

"Don't be stupid, Gale. Take it." Katniss reprimanded him.

"Yes, please, take it. There's more than enough." Madge added pleadingly and Katniss wondered if that hadn't been her plan all along.

She grabbed a small white box from the wagon and handed it to Katniss, along with a jar of what seemed to be some kind of cream.

When Katniss read the labels she realized it was more Capitol medicine. The box held small glass vials of morphling and the cream would help Peeta's wounds heal.

Katniss was speechless at the blonde girl's generosity. "I don't know what to say…to thank you…it must have been hard for you to get this so quickly."

Madge played with her blonde curls shyly before quietly responding that she "just wanted to help." Katniss realized how badly her friend must want to be useful.

"Thank you, Madge."

"When's Peeta coming home?" she asked.

"His father and brothers should be here within the hour."

"I can help if you need it," Gale offered. "It's why I made my way over."

"No, it should be fine. Why don't you and Madge take this food home? I'm sure your brothers will go crazy."

Gale chuckled. "I'm sure my brothers will make pigs of themselves."

Madge laughed sweetly at his joke. "I've never met them…your family that is. I'd be more than happy to help you get this home," she offered.

Gale nervously ran his hand over the back of his neck before shrugging his shoulders. "Sure, if you want."

"Okay, let me grab my coat."

Just as Gale and Madge left the Victor's Village, Mr. Mellark and Peeta's brothers arrived. They too thought like Madge and carried several loaves of bread and a box of cheese buns.

Mr. Mellark hid a cookie in his coat pocket for Prim and had her look through them all until she finally found it. It made Katniss happy to see that her little sister wasn't too old for such games yet.

Katniss was grateful for their kindness and levity but the mood turned serious when they congregated in the kitchen to prepare Peeta for the move.

Her mother had taken him off the morphling and sleep syrup some hours ago so he would be clear-headed enough to make the short journey but the lack of medicine was evident in the grimace on his face.

It hurt Katniss to see him in pain.

His father and brothers were gentle and easy with Peeta. His muscles were tense and sore from lack of use and he couldn't stand on his bad leg yet, which still ached from being contorted the night of the whipping. His father and eldest brother took either side and braced him on their shoulders.

Mrs. Everdeen gently placed a blanket around his shoulders to ward off the cold as he still couldn't wear a shirt for fear of irritating the stitches.

His middle brother led the way, choosing his path carefully to avoid ice or other mishaps that could cause Peeta more injury.

Katniss followed behind, clutching her sister tightly to her. Every groan and hiss that escaped Peeta reminded her of the one lash she had taken to the cheek, the pain had been blinding and fierce. She could only imagine how that must have been multiplied for Peeta.

Peeta was panting and sweaty when they finally made their way to the top of the stairs. His father carefully laid him face down on the mattress. After, Mrs. Everdeen looked him over, checking to see if his stitches had torn. Satisfied that none of them had she began to unpack the supplies Katniss would need to look after him for the next few weeks.

Katniss sat gently down beside him on the mattress. He turned his face to her and smiled though through the pain. She softly swept his hair back from his face while reaching for his hand. He clutched her tightly, waiting for the morphling her mother administered to take effect.

His middle brother moved to close the window that was partially open but Katniss stopped him. "Don't. Leave it."

"Are you crazy? It's freezing outside."

She smiled softly at Peeta before curling up on her side next to him, staring into his blue eyes which were fluttering in drowsiness. "He likes to sleep with the windows open."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, the story will take a bit of turning point but I think you'll like it, I really do!


	10. Chapter 10

Katniss tended to Peeta in the weeks that followed his return to their home in the Victor's Village.

Those first days he slept more than anything and Katniss simply made sure his discomfort was not too great.

Sometimes he would wake from the fog of morphling and sleep syrup confused and alarmed. He confessed one night that the medicine made the nightmares worse and harder to wake from. Peeta still didn't thrash or cry out as she did but Katniss learned to watch for the signs of his terror. His brow would furrow, his skin would grow clammy and his pulse would race.

On these nights Katniss sang quietly in his ear, offering up soft lullabies and other songs she learned from her father. As soon as he woke she would stop, too self-conscious for him to know what she had done. She didn't know if her voice got through the darkness or indeed if it worked at all, but he always seemed calmer after she sang. She liked to believe it helped.

One night his dreams seemed particularly bad, his body was covered in sweat and his eyes darted furiously back and forth beneath his lids. Over the past few nights Katniss had already sung every song she knew except one. A song she hadn't heard since her father died. A song her mother had forbade her to sing as a little girl.

As she softly sang the words Katniss finally understood why her mother feared something as seemingly innocent as a song.

The song was rebellion itself. A cry for freedom, even if that freedom was death.

 _"Are you, are you_  
Coming to the tree  
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree

 _Are you, are you_  
Coming to the tree  
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree

 _Are you, are you_  
Coming to the tree  
Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree

 _Are you, are you_  
Coming to the tree  
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.  
Strange things did happen here,  
No stranger would it be,  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree."

Katniss sang the last verse and wondered if she hadn't condemned herself and Peeta to the same fate as those in the song. Had she strung necklaces of rope around their necks? Would he hang with her? Would he burn with her in the flames of a rebellion she sparked?

"There isn't a sound in the world I love better than your voice."

Katniss startled at the gravelly sound of Peeta's voice. She had been so caught up in the song and lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed him awaken.

She blushed at having been caught and cast her eyes down from Peeta's blue ones. They were particularly bright in the moonlight; they looked almost glassy with unshed tears.

"Don't say things like that," she told him quietly.

"Why Katniss? Do you think by not saying things it makes them any less true?"

"I just don't know what to do when you talk like that," her fingers played with the end of her braid in nervousness.

Peeta's hand wrapped around hers and the other tipped her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet his. "You don't have to do anything."

The silence was heavy as they lay there in the darkness of their bedroom. Katniss wondered if he might try to kiss her. She tried not to feel disappointed when he didn't.

"Thank you Katniss. For the song," Peeta said before the medicine dragged him back to sleep.

"You're welcome."

* * *

The next day Katniss made her way to town to replenish their diminishing supplies. Prim agreed to keep Peeta company in her absence and set up a game of chess for them to play in the living room. Peeta made it down the stairs without her help that morning. In a few short days he wouldn't need her constant care. Katniss tried not to feel disappointment at the thought.

Katniss looked down at the list in her hands. She'd already been to Rooba and had several cuts of meat tucked away in her satchel. She visited the apothecary and bought several herbs she could no longer gather from the woods herself. There was only one more stop she needed to make before visiting the Hob. She swiftly made her way to the bakery and stood outside for several long moments before finally walking through the entrance. The bell above the door chimed and Peeta's middle brother came out from the back. Katniss quickly checked her surroundings but the witch seemed nowhere in sight.

"She's not here if that's what you're worried about." He offered Katniss a knowing a smirk and then leaned his elbows on the counter top. She knew he was telling the truth or else he wouldn't be so relaxed.

"You didn't need to make a trip over, anything you needed we could have brought to you." He was right, since the whipping the Mellarks had been very considerate. Every few days they dropped by with bread and other baked goods. They didn't stay long, due in part to the fact that Peeta tired so easily. Yet Katniss couldn't help but feel that it also had something to do with Mrs. Mellark. She knew the woman ruled with an iron fist and Katniss suspected she would only tolerate so much defiance from her husband and two elder sons.

"I was in town. I figured I may as well get everything all at once. Besides you've been far too generous already."

She grabbed a coin purse from her pocket and made to hand several over but Peeta's brother raised his hands in refusal.

"No way, Dad would kill me if I took your money. Besides, you're family now," he said casually as he began to box up the cheese buns and three loaves of bread she ordered.

Katniss left the bakery in a daze. The parcels felt heavy in her hands, though in reality it was his words that weighed her down.

Surely the Mellarks knew the marriage was a ruse. A ploy designed for the sole purpose of protecting everyone. They couldn't possibly consider her a sister — or daughter — after all the harm she'd caused Peeta? But the look in his brother's eyes had been so sincere, so warm, so very much like Peeta that she couldn't help but believe him.

Her shock had yet to wear off when she found Greasy Sae at her stall in the Hob. About half of the vendors had cleared out in fear of Thread but old Sae stood her ground.

"I'm too old to trifle with. Besides quitting would be just as much of a death sentence as a whipping so I might as well stay in business while I can," she told Katniss.

The girl sat in the same spot she always did when she ate at Greasy Sae's and looked around the place that had been so much a part of her livelihood these many years. It was shocking to see the Hob so empty and saddening to realize her part in it all. Katniss regretted that her actions brought such heavy burdens to the people of her District, but she could never regret saving Peeta.

Katniss ate the bowl of soup Sae placed in front of her without question. She wondered exactly what meat Sae had been able to procure without her and Gale hunting but knew better than to ask.

She was about halfway through her meal when Sae spoke. "Darius ain't been around. No one's seen him since the whipping and if they have they sure ain't talking."

"You think something happened to him?" Katniss questioned the older woman.

"I don't rightly know. You can't exactly hide a whipping or firing squad in the town square."

"You think he was jailed?"

"Nah, some of the other decent Peacekeepers would've said something. I saw Purnia the other day and she didn't know his whereabouts either."

"He's from District Two, right? Maybe he got sent back there." Katniss tried to reassure the older woman, but grew more concerned the longer Sae talked. She knew what happened when people disappeared. She just didn't know if Peacekeepers shared the same fate.

On her way back from town Katniss decided to stop by Haymitch's and ask him if he knew anything about Darius.

She entered through the kitchen door at the side of the house and stopped immediately, wondering if she had mistakenly gone into one of the empty Victor houses.

The house was spotless. Immaculate. Not a single dish remained in the sink and the stench of stale vomit and rot had been replaced by pine…and…lemon. A hearty fire burned in the hearth in the living room and the floors shined brilliantly with a fresh coat of wax.

"Close your mouth before you start catching flies, Sweetheart," Haymitch spoke from the landing of the stairs.

"Like you didn't have the same reaction when you walked in the door, Abernathy." Hazelle appeared from around the corner, a feather duster in hand.

"You…you did all this Hazelle?" Katniss could not hide her shock, it had only been a matter of days since she last stepped foot in Haymitch's house. Surely one person couldn't clean up  _years_  of drunken mess that quickly?

"It shines just like a new penny don't it, honey? Next step is the man of the house himself."

Katniss couldn't restrain the doubtful chuckle that erupted from her in full force. She looked from Haymitch to Hazelle and realized the woman was completely serious. She laughed so hard tears sprang to her eyes and she had to rest her elbows on her knees in an effort to calm herself.

"I wish you all the luck in the world Hazelle. The best Capitol stylists have tried — and failed —for years."

"Oh I'm not trying to make him stylish. No sense asking a tiger to change his stripes. I'm just talking a bath and a haircut."

"Well I'll take you up on the bath if you're offering…"

"Don't you dare sass me, Abernathy. I'll wash your mouth out with soap same as I did my boys."

Haymitch grumbled about being unable to escape all the "damn meddlesome women" in his life as he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Katniss followed and her jaw nearly dropped again when she Haymitch pour himself a cup of coffee instead of white liquor.

She raised a quizzical brow while Haymitch swallowed the bitter, black brew.

He raised the arm still holding the cup of coffee and pointed at Hazelle, who sat down next to Katniss at the table.

"The woman's determined to clean more than just my house."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the first thing she did when she got here was throw away every last bottle of liquor I had! Even a bottle of Scotch older than all of us!"

"It's about time you sobered up."

"It was a gift from Chaff, woman!"

"That ain't a proper gift for you someone in your condition, if you ask me."

Katniss watched amused, if not little intimidated, as Hazelle and Haymitch stared each other down. That is, until he gulped down the rest of his coffee and threw his hands up in surrender. Hazelle, it seemed, had won this round.

"What brings you here, Sweetheart? Thought you had your hands full," Haymitch said as he joined them at the table.

"I had to go into town and run a few errands…I saw Greasy Sae."

"Did you now?" Haymitch rubbed at the scruff on his face warily, knowing nothing good could from Katniss visiting the Hob.

"Have you heard anything about Darius?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Darius, the Peacekeeper. The one who tried to help Peeta...at the...the..." she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. The memories of that day were still so raw.

"Oh, right, Red. I haven't seen him around, why?"

"That's exactly the problem. No one has seen him. Not for the past couple weeks. Not since the incident."

Haymitch listened to her recount her visit into town and her conversation with Greasy Sae. He was rubbing harshly at his temples by the time she finished.

"This is bad. Peacekeepers just don't go missing. And people whispering about it won't help matters much if Snow had a hand in this."

"What do you think happened to him, Haymitch?"

"I don't know and truthfully you don't want to either, Sweetheart. Look, you just keep your nose clean. Stay out of it."

"Alright."

"And if I were you I wouldn't be in a hurry for the boy to find out either."

"What makes you say that?"

"Boy's in enough pain as it is, I don't think feeling guilty will help him very much, do you?"

"No. Not at all," she replied quietly.

"Alright, then this stays between us," Haymitch said, moving his hand in a circular motion, encompassing the three occupants of the table.

The conversation over, Katniss rose from the table and grabbed her wares from town.

She walked from Haymitch's house to hers, staying on the neat path Peeta's brothers had shoveled out of the snow. She wasn't keen on the idea of lying to Peeta, but if it meant protecting him from more pain she would do it.

Katniss entered the house to discover it quiet and seemingly empty. The chess game sat before the fireplace, it seemed Peeta had been very generous with Prim. She knew he was a masterful player, but from the look of the half-finished game they were neck-and-neck. Katniss hurriedly climbed the stairs, eager to find them. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when she did.

They were napping together. Peeta lay on his stomach with his face towards the bedroom window, his left arm slung around Prim in a protective embrace. It warmed her heart to see them together like that. Katniss couldn't help but picture Peeta in a similar pose with a little blonde girl of his own someday. Tears stung her eyes at the thought. It was a future that would never come to pass. Not as long as Peeta's fate was tied to hers, she could never give him children. She could never give him the little girl of her imagination.

Katniss quietly ran down the stairs and out the backdoor. She took in gulps of chilly air to calm her heaving breaths as so much guilt assailed her. She felt guilty for Darius' disappearance. She felt guilty that those at the Hob were losing their livelihood. She felt guilty that her recklessness brought Thread to the district. And she was so, so guilty for everything that happened to Peeta.

These thoughts burdened her mind all evening. She continued to wonder about Darius' possible whereabouts and what his disappearance could mean for the people of the district, or them.

Peeta wasn't oblivious to her conflict. As they sat down to a dinner of stew and fresh bakery bread he sensed her distraction. He was jovial and charming throughout the meal and he succeeded in making Katniss laugh, but it was fleeting and brief. In moments of silence her brows would furrow and the scowl would quickly return to her face.

She was still wearing the same scowl and her brow was still furrowed in thought as she helped him into the bath later that night.

They had developed a routine. Every night she would run him a bath and help him into the water. He wore boxers, but really it was more for the sake of her modesty than his. He washed the parts of himself he could reach without too much difficulty but Katniss would take the soap and cloth and wash his back, neck and shoulders for him.

She had been lost in thought washing his right shoulder for several long minutes when Peeta brought a soapy hand up and smoothed out her furrowed brow. Katniss scowled as she wiped the soapy water from her face. Then shook her head as if to clear the daze.

"Penny for your thoughts," Peeta said, smiling sweetly.

Katniss grabbed the soap and lathered the cloth again. She resumed the task of washing him before she spoke. "Save your money. My thoughts aren't worth that much, Mellark."

"Oh, I disagree. You still don't understand the effect you can have, do you?"

"I-I guess not," she said ducking her head in an attempt to avoid his eyes.

Despite the fact that Peeta was the one in a state of undress, Katniss felt incredibly exposed under his steady gaze.

She stood up from her kneeling position beside the tub, preparing to leave him in private when Peeta's strong hand gently circled her wrist.

"Tell me Katniss. What's troubling you?"

"It's nothing."

Katniss tried to leave when she felt a slight pull on her arm, causing her to fall backwards into the tub with a small splash. She suddenly found herself in Peeta's lap. Her sleep shirt and shorts quickly soaked through with water, leaving very little to the imagination.

Katniss sputtered and blew away some foamy bubbles that clung to her mouth. She turned to face Peeta, stunned in disbelief. Her movements caused several more small waves to crash over the side of tub until she situated herself in a kneeling positing, either of her legs on the side of Peeta's waist. She was just about to yell at him, to tell him that he could have hurt himself when she saw the look on his face.

The look of pure want took her breath away.

His intentions has been mostly pure, he had just wanted to tease her, to put a smile on her face.

He hadn't anticipated the way her closeness would affect him, or how her waterlogged clothing would reveal every facet of her body to him.

He brought his hand to her face and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before her traced a finger across her cheek, down her neck to her collarbone. His touch was gentle and barely ghosted along her skin but Katniss felt it like a brand anyway. His eyes quickly flicked up to meet hers at her sharp intake of breath. She watched him lick his lips once, twice before finally ducking his head and melding his mouth to hers.

The kiss was certain and sure and Peeta's tongue quickly trespassed Katniss' gasping lips to tangle with her own. The kiss was as warm and slick just like their bodies in the bathwater. The sensation of Peeta's mouth invading hers made Katniss feel oddly full and strangely hollow at the same time. His lips were firm and insistent as they blazed a trail of fire down from her lips across her neck and suddenly Katniss realized how much she had missed this heat, this spark between them and how much she feared not ever sharing it again. Passion bubbled in the pit of her belly, forcing her guilty secrets to spill out in a breathy confession, betraying her fears to Peeta.

"I didn't think you'd want me again after what happened. The whipping…it was my fault Snow sent Thread because he thought…because everyone thought Gale and I were lovers…" She was practically breathless in the frenzied need Peeta stirred within her, but he understood her confession well enough.

He too replied in a low, throaty voice laced with desire, "I don't understand how you could possibly think that." He shifted his hips so that she could clearly feel him between her legs, "Can't you feel how much I want you?"

Katniss whimpered as his erection pressed against her through their underwear. It was an incredibly erotic experience straddling Peeta in the bathtub while partially clothed. She felt the water lap around their bodies in soft waves as they began to move in a gentle rocking motion, their bodies trying to give and take pleasure simultaneously.

He removed her sodden t-shirt and tossed it to the floor while trailing kisses down her throat and chest. He looked up into her eyes and watched her watching him. Katniss was not sure she could breathe. Her naked chest seemed inordinately exposed in the bright light of the room. Her olive skin was in sharp contrast to Peeta's golden waves. She looked into the depths of his blue eyes, flashing with desire and firing her own. She clutched a handful of his hair and brought his mouth to her breast.

Peeta wanted to savor the taste of her. He would not be greedy with her offering. For a moment he simply held his mouth close to her breast, teasing it with his hot breath until he heard a shaky sigh slip from Katniss' lips that was as near pain as it was pleasure.

He placed hot, open-mouthed kisses to her dusky flesh before taking her nipple into his mouth and suckling. He was gentle at first but his touches grew hungrier and more insistent as Katniss' moans grew louder.

He continued to kiss and suck until he scraped his teeth against her in rough little love bites. She rocked against him hard enough to cause a large wave of water to splash over the side of the tub.

She clutched at his hair while holding him to her chest. "Peeta," she sighed. "Oh Peeta."

He trailed his hands down her body. He traced from her collarbones down past the curves of her breasts, over her ribs, to her hips. He paused, trying to catch his breath as his hands firmly clutched the soft curves of her behind. But as soon as he would inhale, Katniss' mouth was there upon his, greedily stealing the breath from his chest once again.

He let out a low growl when she took his lower lip between her teeth and bit down playfully. Her actions spurred on his boldness and so he trailed his right hand across her hip, down her thigh, and back up again.

All traces of shyness and hesitance were gone as his hands moved the fabric of her white cotton panties aside. She was panting heavily when his fingers found her entrance, warm and wet with desire. He explored Katniss slowly and gently worked her where she was most sensitive until her hips ground against his hand, begging for more.

Katniss was no good with her words and so she let her sounds tell Peeta how impossibly good he made her feel.

He made her feel like the Girl on the Fire. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that only the Boy with the Bread could set her alight.

His hands continued their wondrous work until she finally came apart in his arms.

"Peeta, Peeta, Peeta." She whispered his name in a chant, her lips pressed to the slope of his neck, her hands tightly grasping the edges of the tub. As she came down from her high he ran his hand in soothing circles along her tailbone, down the curve of her backside and up again.

"I love you." Katniss froze at Peeta's words, which he sealed with a kiss to her collarbone.

It terrified to hear those words after the intimacy they just shared.

The "thank you" slipped past her lips before she could think of anything better to say and immediately the weightless feeling her body enjoyed just moments ago was replaced by a heavy sense of dread.

She knew as soon as she said it that it was the wrong thing to say. The air between them immediately grew colder and lost the static charge their bodies had ignited. His eyes, which had been so bright mere moments ago, dimmed immeasurably. She had wounded him fiercely, not with what she said but by what she didn't say. She let him touch her and take her to dizzying heights only to bring them both crashing back to reality. Reality being that he loved her and that she either couldn't or wouldn't say it in return.

"Peeta I-I'm so sorry…" Katniss stumbled through an apology, her hand weaving through his golden hair, trying to make his eyes meet hers.

He grabbed her by the wrists and flung her hands away. "Don't Katniss." He untangled himself from her limbs, which were still shaking around him in the aftermath of her climax. Katniss still felt boneless and stayed in the water as Peeta climbed out, knowing she'd be too unsteady on her feet.

He winced in pain as he stood to grab a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

He dragged a distracted hand through his hair. "You don't say 'thank you' after…" he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to gain composure. "After something like this."

He turned away from her and Katniss saw the scars he would bear forever, the high price he paid for loving her. He left the bathroom with his shoulders slumped in defeat and closed the door quietly behind him. Katniss dropped her head into her hands and began to weep. She wept in shame that her foolish heart had once again broken Peeta's.

He was right,  _thank you_ , was not enough for what had transpired between them. It would never be enough.

* * *

Katniss sat in the bath water long after in turned cold; the freezing water tempered her heated skin. She stayed in the water so long that the pins and needs needles she felt at the cold turned to numbness.

But Peeta never came back.

He never came to rouse her from the punishing water. Katniss deserved it. She knew this. The pain was recompense for the pleasure she'd enjoyed in Peeta's arms.

Pleasure he gave so freely.

But still, it seemed nothing came without a price.

And what had she given him in return?

Nothing. Nothing but whispered words that were the wrong words. Always the wrong words. Always breaking Peeta's heart.

By the time Katniss finally climbed out of the bath the moon was high in the night sky. The house was dark and she found Peeta fast asleep on the sofa downstairs, under a heavy dose of morphling from the looks of it. Morphling he probably took to ease the pain in his heart more than his aching back, Katniss mused.

She climbed the stairs and allowed herself to weep quietly in the bed that felt so empty without Peeta's warmth.

The next morning the air between was brittle and awkward but they returned to their routine as though nothing had happened. As though Peeta hadn't touched her very soul and made her come apart beneath his hands.

Peeta had progressed significantly in his recovery, thanks in part to the dutiful care he received from the Everdeen women and also the medicine from Madge.

For the past several weeks Katniss had soothed the cream into the sutures on his back. The skin knitted itself back together far more strongly, surely and swiftly than it would have without the medicine.

Mrs. Everdeen arrived that morning and Katniss remembered that her mother was set to remove the stitches that day.

As soon as her mother set foot in the kitchen she could sense the tension between her daughter and Peeta. Peeta was polite and affable as ever but Mrs. Everdeen was no longer lost in a haze, and was no longer fooled as she once was by these two. She could see how much the charade cost him. Katniss was normally quiet but Mrs. Everdeen couldn't help but notice how her daughter moved through the house silently, cautiously; but not like a hunter, more like the prey afraid of getting caught.

When their hands brushed reaching for the butter at the breakfast table Katniss blushed furiously before quickly placing her hands in her lap, like a naughty child caught reaching into a cookie jar.

"Would you like some butter for your toast, Mrs. Everdeen?" Peeta asked politely.

She quirked a brow that Peeta would offer her the butter before Katniss but said nothing and shook her head no in a polite decline.

"No thank you, Peeta. Though when you're done with breakfast I thought we might remove your stitches. Prim's still at school but I thought Katniss might want to help as she's been so attentive to your care these past few weeks."

Katniss' eyes widened in alarm at her mother's words. She wasn't ready to be in close proximity to be Peeta's naked chest. She was trying to think of a clever excuse when Peeta spoke up.

"Oh I can wait. I think Prim would hate to miss a chance to help. I think she said yesterday that she was very excited about removing the stitches."

Mrs. Everdeen smiled thinking of her younger daughter's eagerness. "Yes, yes, you're probably right. Then if you don't mind waiting I'll come back later."

She left the couple sitting in suffocating silence at the breakfast table. They shuffled the food around their plates awkwardly until Peeta rose stiffly from the table.

He offered no explanation or excuse but simply walked upstairs to his studio and closed the door with a quiet finality. Katniss had never before felt so unwelcome in the house she shared with Peeta.

She sat the table in complete stillness, quietly berating herself for hurting Peeta once again when she had vowed just weeks ago to be worthy of him. She was broken from her thoughts when the phone rang.

The shrill sound caused Katniss to jump in surprise. She was so on edge she felt as if the noise echoed through her body. She scowled at the strange device she so seldom used but grabbed the receiver from the hook, held it to her ear and waited for the person on the other end of the line to speak.

"Hello? Katniss?"

Katniss nearly sobbed in relief at the voice on the other end of the line.

"Cinna," Katniss said breathlessly.

How had her brilliant stylist known exactly what she needed was to hear his calm, kind voice?

"How are you feeling Girl on Fire?"

Still reeling from shock and relief at hearing Cinna's voice, Katniss' reply was nothing more than a breathless sob.

"I-Cinna…I missed you so much."

"And I you, but you didn't answer my question — how are you, Katniss?"

"Fine," she offered.

She envisioned Cinna's empathetic nod on the other end of the line. She imagined him sitting in his studio, surrounded by sketches, crafting fine things for the Girl on Fire — the girl she never would have been without his help.

"I'm well, really," she affirmed him, struggling for conviction. She really was a horrible liar.

"And how's Peeta?" His tone was heavy with sorrow and Katniss knew he knew. He knew about Peeta's whipping. That meant word of her failure — and her supposed betrayal must have reached him as well. Katniss clung to the hope that Cinna had to know the truth. He must have been able to weed the truth from the lie. There's no way he'd believe her to be the faithless whore Mrs. Mellark accused of her of being.

"He's well too." Katniss didn't know if the line was bugged or if Snow and his cronies were listening that very minute but she knew better than say too much over the line.

"How are you?" She finally thought to ask him.

"Inspired," he said cryptically.

Cinna elaborated that he had a sudden stroke of genius for a dress he'd been designing for Katniss.

"What now? More fire?" Katniss tried to joke.

"You'll always be the Girl on Fire, but no. No flames this time. I am working on something more subtle. You'll see."

Katniss smiled at the thought of Cinna surrounded by beautiful fabrics, joyfully practicing his craft. Her mind turned to Peeta upstairs in his studio working on what, she didn't know. All she knew was that she woke at sunrise to find his side of the bed still empty. The door to his studio was shut and the strong smell of paint wafted through the house. He had only stopped for breakfast before locking himself away once more.

"I look forward to it," Katniss said, returning her focus to the conversation at hand.

"You'll look radiant and I'm sure Peeta will love it, of course. I could dress you in a burlap sack and Peeta would still love it," Cinna added with a quiet laugh.

The truth of his words weighed heavily on Katniss long after their goodbye. She sat in the living room quietly looking through her father's plant book when Peeta made his way down the stairs. His sweats hung low on his hips and his shirt — he was finally able to dress himself in the mornings — rode up slightly revealing the soft patch of dark blonde hair at the base of his stomach.

Katniss' cheeks burned brightly, recalling the feel of the soft hairs under her finger tips and the hard muscle that lay underneath.

Unaware of her turmoil, Peeta continued his path to the kitchen, presumably to wash the paint from his hands and forearms. The knock at the door brought him to the living room and Katniss saw that he had a streak of red paint across his cheek. The look was endearing and Katniss kept the secret to herself.

Peeta opened the door to reveal her mother and Prim on the other side. Mrs. Everdeen carried her healer's basket and Prim carried a small but perfect round of goat cheese that she thrust into Peeta's hand upon entry.

"Hello Peeta!" Prim spoke cheerily.

"Hello Prim," he smiled back at the younger girl, tugging on her blonde braid.

"We've come to remove your stitches, isn't that exciting?"

He chuckled at her exuberance. "More for you than for me, I should think."

Prim's mouth quirked when she realized how rude her words may have seemed. "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean…"

"It's okay Prim. I understand. It's a good thing you care so much. You're going to be a wonderful healer." Prim beamed at his praise.

Peeta guided them to the kitchen, where he had tea and cookies all set up. Prim squealed in delight at the treats, which were decorated with little primroses. The designs weren't quite as perfect as his usual work but Mrs. Everdeen assured him his hands would steady as he healed.

After several long moments of chatter, they were finally ready to remove the stitches. "This may feel very uncomfortable Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen warned.

"Should I go and fetch some morphling?" Katniss asked.

"No, please don't," Peeta said. "No more of the stuff, I want to feel like myself again."

Mrs. Everdeen smiled approvingly, "You don't like the morphling, Peeta? Most people are quite fond of the affects. Too fond in some cases."

"I could believe that very easily, Mrs. Everdeen. It makes things shiny and fuzzy. It's like my mind floats away from body sometimes and the dreams…the dreams are so vivid."

Mrs. Everdeen's brow furrowed, "You've been having bad dreams on the morphling?"

"Not all bad, but yes, most of them."

"I'm sorry Peeta. I should have realized…"

"Neither your or the morphling are to blame for the nightmares, Mrs. Everdeen. They'll come no matter what. They're just a bit more surreal and the morphling makes it harder to wake up."

Mrs. Everdeen moved behind Peeta and gently raised his arms, peeling the shirt from his back and over his shoulders. She spoke in his ear so quietly neither Katniss nor Prim heard their whispered conversation. "Are Katniss' nightmares still so bad? I remember when she first came home from the Games…the screaming…"

"She still has nightmares but they're not so bad. We've figured out how to handle them, I think."

"You make her better, Peeta. You heal her. Protect her."

Peeta cast a furtive glance at Katniss; she stood at the sink tidying up after the tea, listening to Prim with rapt attention. He smiled, remembering words spoken to him in a haze of pain, "We protect each other."

They talked no more of the matter after Mrs. Everdeen called Prim over to help remove the stitches. She showed Prim how to carefully snip the seam of the suture and remove the remnants of thread with a pair of tweezers. The process was slightly uncomfortable but not actually painful. Peeta's wounds were healing well. The skin had knitted itself together, though ugly scars littered his back, the skin of which was several shades of blue, purple and green from healing bruises.

Katniss had been terrified to find the bruises several days after the whipping. Her mother had explained that the lashes and torn flesh were only part of his injuries. The horrid discoloration was sign of his muscles healing underneath the skin.

With the last stitch removed Katniss fetched the Capitol cream Madge gave them. The medicine had done a remarkable job of warding off infection and speeding up the healing. Katniss watched her mother apply the salve to Peeta's back and remembered how just days ago she had been able to touch him freely. It had been so easy to touch him under the guise of healing, pretending not to feel desire. A desire she could no longer deny. A desire that she could longer pretend was just for the cameras. A desire she felt simmering below the surface as the very sight of his bare chest.

Her breath hitched at the memory of what they'd shared last night. It had been such a disaster…but at the same time it hadn't. She imagined it happening again and wondered what it would be like if they kept going…

Katniss was shaken from her reverie by the front door slamming loudly. Haymitch entered the kitchen and sat down heavily in a chair. He brought a flask to his lips — his sobriety had only lasted so long before he resorted to having liquor shipped in from other districts.

Haymitch smirked when he saw the way Katniss' eyes were glued to the rigid muscles of Peeta's abdomen. "Put on a damn shirt boy, it's the middle of winter for crying out loud."

Peeta sat beside Haymitch at the table as soon he complied with their surly mentor's request.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?" Peeta joked. However, the grave look on Haymitch's face quickly stole any levity from the room.

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly before taking another long drink. "Pack your bags kids. You're going on a honeymoon. Courtesy of the President himself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Next chapter we see a few Catching Fire favorites: Finnick and Johanna!


	11. Chapter 11

Mrs. Everdeen and Prim left quietly, leaving the victors to sort out their troubles.

"I thought you said the tour was cancelled," Katniss hissed at her mentor.

"The tour is cancelled, just not the honeymoon. This arrived today." Haymitch pulled out a letter from inside his coat pocket. The parchment reeked of roses and Katniss nearly gagged at the familiar smell. Haymitch unfolded the letter and read it aloud, "At the request of President Coriolanus Snow all the Victors of District 12 will travel to the Capitol immediately to participate in a weeklong celebration of the marriage of Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen."

"This can't be good," Katniss said as Haymitch stuffed the letter back in his pocket.

"No shit, Sweetheart."

"What do you think he wants?" Peeta asked.

"I don't know, but he wants you in the Capitol and away from the districts that's for sure. I'm damn sure he's not just itching to throw you two a party."

"When do we leave?"

"Today. Effie will be here to collect us on the afternoon train."

"Today?" Katniss sputtered in disbelief. "No! We can't go, not with everything that's going on!"

"What  _exactly_ is going on, Katniss?" Peeta asked through clenched teeth, growing frustrated at Katniss' secret keeping.

"Just everything with Thread and…you're still healing. You shouldn't be traveling," she responded lamely.

Peeta rose from the table. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. If you'll excuse me I'm going upstairs to pack."

After a long moment of silence Katniss spoke, "What do you honestly think it means, Haymitch? That the President changed his mind."

"Like I said, it's not good, Sweetheart. The initial "Honeymoon Tour" idea was a just a feel-good publicity stunt, peddle the Star-Crossed Lovers around the districts, sell the story, you know?" He took a sip from his flask before continuing. "Cancelling it was bad enough, it meant he didn't trust you in the districts, didn't trust what would happen if the people saw you and Peeta. Then there was that whole incident with Thread and the whipping. I don't think he's too broken up about the fact that Peeta damn near died, but I can tell you that he's not happy his little trap for Hawthorne went awry either. I don't know what he's hoping to accomplish with this little Capitol extravaganza but it can't be good for you or the boy."

"What do you think he's got planned?" Katniss fought the urge to bite her nails, imagining the disapproval of the prep team she would see shortly.

"For a week in the Capitol? Besides parties where he charges 50 grand a plate to dine with the Star-Crossed Lovers? I don't know, Sweetheart, and that's what scares me."

They arrived at the station just in time for the train's arrival. Unlike their past departures there would be no fanfare this time.

Not a minute after the train arrived, Effie's heels were clacking hurriedly on the pavement. Her lime green suit and platinum blonde curls were the very model of Capitol fashion.

"Hello dears!" She said, embracing Katniss, Peeta and even Prim who stood by clutching Mrs. Everdeen's hand.

She turned to Haymitch and sneered at the flask already raised to his lips. "Typical Haymitch, drunk before we even board the train."

He screwed the cap back on his flask before replying, "Typical Effie with a stick up her ass!"

She clutched a hand over her heart and then swatted at his shoulder with her glove. "Watch your mouth Haymitch Abernathy! Don't use such coarse language in front of children! Especially not a little lady like Miss Primrose!"

Haymitch barked out a laugh at Effie's expense before roughly grabbing his bag out the hands of a valet and making his way toward the train.

Katniss turned to her mother and sister and kneeled before Prim. She fastened the top button on her sister's coat and pulled it tighter around her neck to ward off the chill before speaking, "I'll be back soon, Little Duck."

Prim hugged Katniss tightly before quietly quacking in her ear. Katniss' eyes were glassy as she pulled away from her little sister and looked at her mother. "Take care while I'm gone."

"We will, I promise."

"And make sure the Hawthornes have enough to eat!"

"I know, Katniss," her mother said with a smile.

Prim launched herself into Peeta's arms and whispered a goodbye that caused his face to light up with a brilliant smile. He hugged her fiercely in return before rising and addressing Mrs. Everdeen. "Thank you Mrs. Everdeen, for taking such good care of me. If you could let my father and brothers know where we've gone…"

"Don't worry Peeta, I'll tell them everything they need to hear," she said, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"I hate to interrupt but we simply must hurry! The President himself commissioned this train for the express purpose of collecting you and taking you back to the Capitol. We have a big, big, big week ahead of us and I won't start it behind schedule!" Effie said to Katniss and Peeta as she checked several items off a list on her electronic note pad.

Once on the train Katniss and Peeta made their way to the dining car. Neither of them wanted to think about the shared cabin they would face later that night.

They sat down at a table near the window and watched as the last remnants of District 12 sped by.

"What did Prim say to you at the station?" Katniss asked, unable to help but voice the question that was on her mind.

"She just wished me goodbye," Peeta said as he plucked a grape from the stem and popped it into his mouth.

"Surely goodbyes don't make you smile like  _that_? You looked so happy," Katniss said, perplexed at Peeta's odd behavior.

"Her exact words were 'Take care, big brother.'"

"Oh," she said, stunned. "I didn't realize Prim felt that way."

"Neither did I until today. I knew she was fond of me. As I am of her, but I didn't know she thought of me like family."

"Do you…I mean do you…um…" Katniss stumbled trying to get her question out.

"Do I feel the same way? Do I consider your family my family?" He asked.

"Well do you?" Katniss asked harshly. The last thing she wanted was for Prim to be hurt because of their charade.

He set a piece of melon back on his plate and looked at Katniss for a long moment. In the past Katniss would have grown uncomfortable under his steady gaze but she found it mesmerizing now. She didn't tear her eyes from him until he turned away and looked out the window.

His answer was quiet and solemn. "You're my family, Katniss. You're all part of my family."

* * *

They were taken directly to the President's mansion when they arrived in the Capitol. Their prep teams and stylists were already waiting to prepare them for a ball that night.

Portia offered Katniss a warm embrace before whisking Peeta off to a separate suite to undergo his own preparations. Katniss wondered what they do with that all that time, since surely he didn't t have to undergo the same grueling process she did at the hands of her prep team. Soon enough, at the very thought of her prep team, they materialized in front of her.

Venia, Octavia and Flavius were floored that Katniss could "let herself go" in such a short time.

"It's only been a couple months since the wedding! How does anyone let their eyebrows get this out of control?" Venia scolded her while vehemently plucking at the fine hairs above her eyes.

"I'm far more worried about the hair on the rest of her body," Flavius said disapprovingly. "Honestly doesn't Peeta mind sharing his bed with a furry-legged woman?" He asked as he applied a warm coat of wax to her right calf.

"He probably doesn't know any better," Octavia said from her perch on a stool applying acrylic over the top of Katniss' bitten down nails. "I imagine the rest of the girls in District 12 aren't any better."

Octavia saw the scowl on Katniss' face and completely misunderstood the source of her displeasure; she patted the brunette's cheek with her pea green hand. "Don't worry, we'll have you fixed up in a jiffy! We'll make sure your skin is as soft as silk to Peeta's touch."

"Or kiss," Flavius joked with a wink, which caused her whole prep team to erupt in laughter.

Katniss' cheeks were aflame when her stylist finally appeared.

"I think that's enough jokes at Katniss' expense, don't you, Flavius?"

"But Cinna, it's just a little harmless fun," Flavius whined, his orange corkscrew curls bouncing as he spoke.

"Plus it's tradition to tease a newlywed!" Venia said as she applied a cream to soothe the screaming skin of Katniss' brow.

"Regardless, I don't want to hear it. Now go lay out her outfit for this evening and I'll finish up."

Knowing when they'd been dismissed her prep team hurriedly fled the room. Cinna took a seat in front of Katniss and began applying makeup to her freshly scrubbed and moisturized face. She wondered what look he had in mind but couldn't tell as he had her turned away from a mirror. It didn't take him long to complete the task and he also made quick work of her hair, simply setting the dark brown tresses in large voluminous waves flowing over her shoulders and down her back.

"Close your eyes," he instructed as he left the room to retrieve her outfit for the evening.

She heard Cinna unzip the garment bag before he called for her to open her eyes. The dress before her was the most splendid she had ever seen, it was long and sleek and would hug her slender curves. The halter back curved to a scooped neckline in the front and the dress flowed in a long column where a small pool of fabric would trail behind her in a short train. The dress was a stunning and surprisingly sexy design from Cinna but none of this is what held Katniss' attention. No, it was the soft, sunset orange hue of the dress that took her breath away. The dress was the exact shade of Peeta's favorite color.

She remembered their conversation from the Victory Tour

_"Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine ... but I don't know what your favorite color is?" he said._

_A smile crept onto her lips. "Green. What's yours?"_

_"Orange," he said._

_"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" she said._

_"A bit more muted," he said. "More like ... sunset."_

Cinna's dress was the exact shade she had imagined during their conversation, she could picture the color streaking across the sky. The dress was beautiful. The color was perfect.

"How did you know?" She asked in awe.

"You mean how did I know Peeta's favorite color? Any good stylist knows their client's favorite color. Portia and I discuss design and we both thought this might be a good choice."

"It's a great choice, but…"

"But what?" He asked, helping her into the dress. Katniss held her arms above her head as Cinna draped the dress over her body.

She looked in the mirror and took in the way it hugged her body and how much of her skin it exposed. It wasn't tasteless, Cinna could never design anything vulgar, but it was a definite departure from how he had styled her previously.

"What happened to girlish?" She asked, not understanding the shift in her stylist's approach.

The smiled dropped from Cinna's face when he replied. "I have my orders."

Katniss' hand clutched at the fabric of the dress. "Snow ordered this?" Her stomach churned at the thought.

Cinna wrapped his arms around her in a comforting gesture and softly whispered in her ear, "President Snow wanted you and Peeta to look like adults, not children playing dress up — that's all. But it's still my design. I made this dress for you." He pulled back to look her square in the eyes. "You were my inspiration, Katniss. You always are."

Katniss gulped in a large breath and turned in front of the mirror one more time. It  _was_ a beautiful dress but Katniss would need to wear it with an air of confidence, confidence she wasn't entirely sure she had.

Cinna led her out into the main room where Haymitch and Effie were waiting.

Haymitch whistled before saying, "Nice dress, Sweetheart." He turned to Effie, taking in her severely asymmetrical silver dress, "You, however, look like a train wreck." Effie huffed and Haymitch smirked before bringing his drink to his lips and walking away.

Katniss slipped into her heels and smoothed down the skirt of her dress before looking around the room. "Where's Peeta? Aren't we going to be late?"

"He'll be meeting us there," Haymitch said as he opened the door, he made a sweeping gesture with his arm, urging Katniss out the door.

She looked at Cinna, then Effie and finally her steely grey gaze landed on Haymitch. She crossed her arms over her chest and set her jaw in a scowl before asking, "Why? Where is he?"

None of the other occupants in the room would meet Katniss' eyes. She tossed the golden handmade clutch case she'd been holding to the ground and asked her question again, punctuating each word. "Where is he?"

Haymitch's cloudy grey eyes met hers and the look he gave her immediately made her blood run cold. "President Snow required an audience with the boy. You happy now that you know, Sweetheart? Does that make you feel any better? Or does it make you feel just as sick as it makes me?"

Katniss paled at her mentor's revelation.

What could he possibly want with Peeta? Katniss had always been the one to cause trouble; she was the Girl on Fire, the problem, the rebel, the spark. Not Peeta. Peeta was the golden boy with the silver tongue. Peeta was the good one. So why did President Snow want to talk to him alone?

Katniss' mind whirled with possibilities. She was overcome with fear that President Snow would bring him harm.

"Better put a little more color in her cheeks, Cinna," Haymitch called from his place by the door. "Sweetheart here looks like death warmed over."

Cinna touched up her face before they left the suite and made their way down to the ballroom. Peacekeepers stopped them just outside a large set of double doors and instructed them to wait for permission to enter. Haymitch grumbled at the armed guard and muttered obscenities under his breath while alternating between taking sips from his flask and glancing at his watch.

Several minutes later Katniss saw Peeta come around the corner, escorted by two large Peacekeepers dressed in white. She looked him over and sighed in relief that he was seemingly unharmed. It was her close scrutiny of his appearance that also made her realize how handsome he looked that night.

His blond waves were styled back away from his face, which looked far too handsome in the soft glow of the lighting. The muscles in his strong jaw flexed with tension but eased into a warm smile as he took in her appearance.

Peeta wore a dapper and expertly tailored suit that emphasized the breadth of shoulders. She realized that, once again, they matched as her eyes were drawn to the sunset orange silk tie around his collar.

He stopped right before her. His appreciative glance roamed over her form taking in the way the dress hugged her curves, made her cheeks warm. A shy smile broke out across her face. Peeta smoothed a lock of her dark hair into place and looked into her eyes. The familiar warmth she saw there radiated through her bones, calming her frayed nerves. Things had been horribly tense and awkward between them since the incident in the bathtub but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he would not spurn her here; he would not feed her to the Capitol wolves on this night. He would stand by her side, forever her district partner, two against the world — defying the odds.

They clasped hands tightly and waited to hear Claudius Templesmith announce their entrance. When they heard his voice boom through the speakers the doors before them parted and they entered the ballroom.

Hundreds of people cheered and applauded at their arrival. The ballroom was filled with opulent and lavish decorations and equally lavish and opulent Capitol citizens.

They walked to the center of the ballroom to receive their welcome. Katniss' eyes roamed their surroundings. Above, she saw a giant crystal chandelier with 12 arms radiating from a Capitol seal at the center. The room was decorated with hundreds of rose gold candelabras burning with tall, white, tapered candles. It gave the room a soft, romantic, inviting glow. Katniss was not deceived.

Effie escorted the newlyweds around the ballroom, where they made small talk with several prominent Capitol citizens, most of whom claimed to have been their sponsors during the games. Katniss and Peeta plastered smiles on their faces and offered thanks to the odious people who thought themselves so magnanimous when all they had really done was play a high stakes game of poker with the lives of the young couple.

They quickly grew disgusted with glad-handing the atrocious people and were luckily saved when Caesar Flickerman called the couple to dance.

Katniss' nerves, which had been tightly wound, began to settle immediately as Peeta took her in his arms and began leading her across the dance floor. She accepted his familiar comfort and moved in closer, tightening their embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder and took in his familiar scent — cinnamon and dill.

"You look beautiful tonight," Peeta whispered the compliment in her ear.

"I thought you'd like the dress," she whispered back, unwilling to break the spell.

Peeta's chuckle jostled her place on his shoulder.

"I was talking about  _you_ , Katniss, but yes, the dress is beautiful too." A smile lit up his features as he mused, "I wonder if tomorrow they'll have us dressed in your favorite color."

Katniss was quiet for a moment as she thought it over. "You'd look good in the colors of the forest."

Peeta's eyes darkened considerably before her brought his lips to Katniss' ear. "Not as good as you though."

Her heartbeat picked up at the tone in his voice and she shivered in his arms, which he then wrapped more tightly around her. Katniss could feel the now familiar heat coursing through her veins. She silently berated herself for being weak for this boy. For as much as Katniss never wanted intimacy her body now knew desire, she had experienced Peeta's touch, knew the way he could make her feel and the dizzying heights he could bring her to and she was damned if her traitorous body didn't want to chase those sensations again.

However, their increasingly intimate embrace was brought to an abrupt halt with the song's end. Effie took Peeta by the elbow and asked him to come speak to a group of people interested in buying some of his paintings. He cast an apologetic look in Katniss' direction but she shrugged in acceptance and headed in the direction of the tables lined with magnificent food.

One entire table was simply filled with different kinds of cheeses and the possible things you could pair them with. Katniss hummed in appreciation as she ate a piece of sharp cheddar with a bit of green apple and ham. She savored the way the crunchy apple contrasted with the soft texture of the cheese and the way the sharp and sweet flavors blended together.

On the next table sat a giant fountain of chocolate, much like the pot of chocolate Cinna had shared with her before the first games. There was a veritable buffet of items to dip in the warm pool of melted chocolate. She spied pretzels and marshmallows and every possible fruit imaginable from slices of melon to pineapple to berries. She plucked a large strawberry from a bowl overflowing with the red fruit and dipped it into the chocolate all the way up to the stem. She ate the decadent treat in one bite and licked the chocolate from her fingers like a naughty child when she heard a seductive voice purr in her ear, "Hello Katniss, want a sugar cube?"

Katniss turned to see Finnick Odair's sea green eyes only inches from hers. He popped a sugar cube in his mouth and she heard the crunch while his strong jaw worked on the sweet treat.

"I think that's supposed to go with the tea," she said as she pointed to a beverage cart at the end of the dessert table.

He looked down and saw a trace of chocolate still on the tips of her fingers. "We all have our treats, Katniss. It's best to take them while you can."

He grabbed her hand and brought it close to his mouth, Katniss' eyes widened in shock when she realized he intended to lick the chocolate from her fingers. She snatched her hand away quickly and glared at the handsome victor. The candlelight reflected off his tan skin and bronze hair and he seemed like a golden Adonis come to life. He  _was_ incredibly handsome, but Katniss found herself immune to his overtly sexual charms.

She grabbed a cloth napkin from the tabletop and wiped the excess chocolate from her fingers as she brusquely told Finnick, "I can take care of that myself."

Finnick smirked suggestively. "I bet you can. But I'm sure my lips aren't the ones you want. By the way, where is your devoted husband, Katniss?"

Katniss couldn't help the small shudder that went through her whenever someone used the word "husband" she just hoped that Finnick didn't notice.

"I'm not sure. Effie dragged him off to meet some people interested in his paintings. He's very talented you know." Katniss wasn't sure where this need to boast Peeta's accomplishment came from, but she ran with the impulse.

Finnick looked surprisingly sincere when he replied, "He's a true artist, indeed. But his paintings give all his secrets away. How about you, Girl on Fire, got any secrets?"

"Everybody seems to know my secrets before I know them myself," she replied solemnly.

Finnick tipped her chin up to meet his eyes. "Don't be so glum, Sugar." He leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, "Go find your boy, if I were you I wouldn't leave him alone in a crowd like this. They'll eat him alive."

Katniss nodded dumbly and hurriedly left in search for Peeta, leaving Finnick Odair to stare after her while munching on sugar cubes.

She found him charming a group of Capitol citizens, regaling them with a story which he told with elaborate gestures. She arrived just as the group erupted in laughter and just in time to see a thirty-something Capitol woman in a cat outfit — complete with surgically modified whiskers — place her hand on Peeta's bicep in a gesture Katniss found much too familiar. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek before saying, "I missed you" loud enough for their audience to hear.

Her affectionate gesture was met with adoring "awws" by most of their surrounding crowd but Katniss noticed that Cat Lady pursed her lips in displeasure.

Peeta wrapped his arm around Katniss' waist in similarly possessive gesture and kissed her temple before whispering in her ear, "Dance with me?"

She nodded and led him back to the dance floor where they fell into a comfortable rhythm with each other. She finally asked him the question that had been burning in her mind all evening, "What did President Snow want?"

"What do you think he wanted, Katniss?" Peeta asked, through clenched teeth.

"I-I don't know. None of us know what he's planning. He's changing the game as we go along. I was just worried is all."

"Worried about what? What aren't you telling me, Katniss?" He asked desperately.

Katniss faltered, unsure how to proceed without lying to Peeta or admitting the truth about Darius' disappearance.

"Nothing, there's nothing to tell," she said while looking down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.

Peeta chuckled mirthlessly. "You know, you really are a terrible liar, Katniss."

Katniss opened her mouth to reply but Peeta caught her off by leading her into a graceful, sweeping turn in time with the waltz playing in the background.

Guilt clawed at her insides as she saw the crestfallen look on Peeta's face. She scanned the room until she saw a set of double doors leading to a large patio and garden, she broke their hold, took his hand and led Peeta outside.

Perhaps it was time to tell him everything.

They made a quiet, stealthy exit and roamed the patio for several minutes before stopping to stand beside an Olympic-sized swimming pool. Katniss walked to the edge of the large pool and bent at the knees to drag her hand through the cool, blue water before looking up Peeta.

His kind blue eyes regarded her patiently, expectantly. She rose to her full height to look him in the eyes, she took in a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak when she heard a snarky voice call from the shadows, "Look, the lovebirds snuck away for some privacy, Finnick."

"Play nice, Johanna," Finnick warned.

The petite, spikey-haired brunette shot a wolfish grin at the other Victor before replying, "When do I ever play nice?"

Johanna Mason walked over from her place in the shadows and stood right next to Katniss and Peeta. She was uncomfortably close in fact. She practically wedged herself between the couple. She looked Peeta up and down before whistling and smirking at Finnick over her shoulder. "My Finnick, he's almost as pretty as you." She looked back at Peeta, "Aren't you scrumptious as a cupcake?" She trailed her fingers up his arm and along his bicep. Katniss stared daggers at the petite brunette as Johanna walked around Peeta in a slow circle, conducting her appraisal.

Katniss spoke through clenched teeth at the audacious older girl, "Are you quite finished?"

"Oh I don't think I'll ever be finished looking, Girl on Fire. Don't worry, I'm not hurting him. See no weapons?" She punctuated her words by splaying her hands out in a plaintive gesture.

Katniss mouth went slack at Johanna's blatant barb. She expected Peeta to shrug off the overly forward girl but he just stood there, smiling at Katniss, expecting her to do all the work.

But no quick retort or witty barb came to mind and so Katniss remained silent, scowling at the older girl.

Johanna's eyes moved from Peeta to Katniss. "And you, what a great dress! At least your stylist isn't an idiot." She punctuated her comment by pointing down to a black, short, figure-hugging, sleeveless sheath dress adorned with silver leaves. It would have been charming on someone not quite so fierce as Johanna. "Trees, always trees," she muttered.

"But you, Fire Girl? That dress is killer."

"Thanks, Cinna really knows his fabrics," Katniss replied lamely.

"I'm sure Blondie here can't wait to tear it off ya." She grinned at Katniss' flush, but her brows furrowed in thought when she saw Peeta's downcast eyes.

"Curious," she muttered under her breath. "Anyway," she sighed, grabbing Katniss' arm and pulling her away from Peeta, "take a stroll with me, Fire Girl."

Peeta opened his mouth to protest when Johanna cut him off with a wink, "Sorry, Blondie, you're cute and all, but girl talk. No boys allowed."

Johanna had a firm grasp on her arm and Katniss stumbled the first couple steps before finding a rhythm alongside the spritely older girl. They stopped walking once they stood on the other side of the pool, across from where Peeta and Finnick conversed easily.

Johanna turned to face Katniss with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked at her in a similarly appraising manner as she had regarded Peeta moments earlier. She looked her over from top to toe and pursed her lips, "So you're the famous Katniss Everdeen? I don't see why you're such a big deal. I could fell you with an axe like a sapling."

Katniss bristled at the girl's comment. "Not before I shot an arrow through your eye."

Katniss was confused by the Johanna's reaction, instead of growing upset or defensive she simply smirked broadly, seemingly pleased with her answer. When the other girl didn't say anything for a long moment, Katniss allowed her gaze to fall on Peeta, lingering on the way his lips curved up in a smile at some clever comment Finnick had just made. The boys, it seemed, were on much friendlier terms than Katniss and Johanna.

"The games are hell," Johanna said rather abruptly, "but I don't think it'd be quite so bad if I got spend the rest of my nights with likes of him." Katniss gulped, her mind instantly recalling the feel of Peeta's hands on her wet, soapy body the other night. Her face only grew more flushed as Johanna continued, "Even half dead in the mud he looked pretty delicious. And then boy did you treat all of Panem to a show when you washed him up. Lucky, lucky girl," she said.

Katniss couldn't hide the genuine confusion that momentarily flashed in her eyes at Johanna's words. For a split second she truly didn't know what the girl was talking about, but that split second was just enough time for Johanna to read the innocence in Katniss' face. Her brown eyes grew wide in realization, her gaze flitting back and forth between Peeta and the now fidgeting Katniss. "You really are brainless," she huffed disdainfully.

Johanna then walked over to a nearby table and kicked off her heels. She grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it over her body, revealing that she wore no clothes underneath. Katniss blinked at the girl's audacity and averted her gaze from Johanna's nude form. She whistled loudly to get Finnick and Peeta's attention across the wide expanse of pool.

Katniss couldn't believe that Peeta didn't even bat an eyelash at Johanna's nudity. Finnick wolf-whistled and chuckled loudly before telling Johanna to behave.

She simply shook her head and repeated her sentiments from earlier, "Since when do I behave?" She winked at Finnick before grabbing Katniss' hand and plunging into the pool, dragging the still-dressed girl along with her.

Katniss drew in a quick breath before finding herself completely submerged in the water. She opened her eyes and blinked several times, unfamiliar with the slight sting of chlorinated water. The wet fabric of her dress was heavy and tangled between her legs, but she was a capable swimmer and kicked herself to surface, her lungs burning with the lack of air.

She narrowed her eyes looking for the petite brunette. "What the hell?" She shouted as soon as she spotted her floating serenely on her back in the deep end of the pool. "Are you insane?"

"Aren't we all a little insane?" Johanna asked, and for once her voice lacked its usual overtone of sarcasm. Sarcasm which returned immediately upon her next comment. "Thought it was a nice night a swim."

"Doesn't mean you had to drag me along with you," Katniss said as she reached the edge of the pool.

"You were looking a little flushed, Brainless. Thought I'd help you cool your heels."

Finnick was watching with amusement from his place at the edge of the pool.

"Don't be upset, Katniss. It's a good look for you. You remind me of water nymphs in the legends from home."

Finnick's words did nothing to calm Katniss down; in fact they only made her more uncomfortable. She looked down and saw how the soaking wet dress clung to her skin even more than it had before. She blushed before meeting Peeta's eyes, which seemed glued to her.

Johanna cut through the water and made her way to the side of the pool right before Peeta and Finnick. She cocked at brow at them before asking, "Are you going to join us?" in a teasing drawl.

Finnick's face lit up in an impossibly wide smile before replying, "Don't mind if I do."

He quickly stripped down to his boxer shorts before sauntering over to the deep end of the pool. He stepped back a few paces before expertly diving into the water. Even Katniss couldn't deny how beautiful he was in that moment. He sliced through the water perfectly, barely making a ripple at the surface. He was submerged for several long moments. Longer than Katniss could comfortably hold her breath and she began to grow nervous until Finnick resurfaced clear across the pool.

He grinned as he turned to face them and Katniss understood the look in his face. In the water, Finnick was happy, calm and serene. It was look on her face when she was in the woods.

Finnick and Johanna swam around, splashing each other like children for a several long moments before Katniss caught sight of Peeta across the pool, sitting crossed-legged, watching them with an amused grin on his face. She swam over and clutched the edge of the pool right in front of him before she asked, "Why aren't you joining in? Is it…" she dropped her voice even lower, "Is it your leg?"

Peeta chuckled at her efforts to protect his modesty. "No Katniss, it's not my leg. I think I could swim just fine with it." He paused. "If I knew how to swim."

Katniss mentally kicked herself for her stupidity. She knew Peeta didn't know how to swim, hadn't he said so when they visited the lake?

"I could teach you, if you like," she said looking at him from beneath lowered lashes.

He brought his hand up and rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. "I don't know…"

They both startled at Finnick's voice, much closer than it had been moments earlier. "Come on Peeta, join in the fun! If Katniss can't teach you how to swim, you can be sure as hell I can. Or, you can just let yourself drown so she can give you mouth to mouth," he added with a wink.

Katniss didn't know what "mouth to mouth" was but she pieced enough of it together to toss a scowl Finnick's way.

"Yeah, Blondie, you're missing out. Don't you want to get a little wet and wild with your girl?" Katniss turned her head at Johanna's voice and immediately regretted it. She had forgotten about the brazen girl's state of undress but was immediately reminded by the sight of her bare breasts bouncing at the surface of the water as she arced her arms back and forth in graceful circles, keeping herself afloat.

Peeta bit his lip before rising to his feet. He removed his tuxedo jacket first and then began undoing the buttons of his crisp, white dress shirt. Her mouth grew dry as more and more of Peeta's flesh became exposed to her. She gulped audibly as his hands moved to the belt buckle at his waist. He neatly folded his slacks and laid them over the back of the chair with his other clothes when Peeta looked to Katniss, eyes uncertain. She saw steps at one corner of the pool and motioned for him to meet her there.

He turned to walk toward the steps and Katniss gasped when his back came into view. She couldn't stifle her surprise; the lashes had still been scabbed over when they left District 12. Now the skin of his back was covered in thick bands of shiny raised flesh. His wounds had become scars in a matter of hours.

That must have been how he spent his time with his prep team this afternoon. While she was plucked and groomed, Portia must have been treating him with some kind of Capitol medicine.

She looked in Finnick and Johanna's direction, wary of their reaction. Thankfully the fellow victors said nothing to embarrass Peeta, but Katniss didn't miss the hard glint that came into their eyes. They knew those scars were fresher than they seemed, knew Snow was the root of their cause.

Her focus returned to Peeta as he carefully descended the steps until the water reached the top of his hips. He shivered slightly at the cool water and Katniss looked at him with soft eyes. He looked so boyish in his hesitant uncertainty, so unlike his usual calm and confident demeanor.

She grabbed Peeta's hand and led him a little further into the water, stopping when it reached his just below his chest.

"Lean back," she commanded softly. She saw the confusion in his eyes and explained further. "In order to learn how to swim you must learn how to float. It's very basic, I promise your body knows how to do it instinctively."

"Sure it does," he agreed with small smile.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him backwards gently until his back hit the water. "Now raise your legs up."

He looked skeptical but complied, slowly lifting one leg and then the other. He was stiff in his nervousness and so he started to sink. He immediately set his feet back on the ground, sputtering and shaking water out of his blond waves, water dripping down his firm torso.

Katniss closed her eyes and bit her lip to ward off the images that came to her mind unbidden. He was far too tempting right now.

"Well that didn't work," Peeta deadpanned.

"You sank because you were tense. You need to relax your muscles; you won't float when you're stiff."

"One of the rare times being stiff is a bad thing," Johanna called from where she floated across the pool.

Katniss cocked her head in confusion. She didn't understand why Peeta's cheeks colored at her comment, until Finnick spoke through a chuckle, "You have a dirty mind, Johanna."

"And a dirty mouth too, Odair. Too bad you'll never know just how dirty I can get," she smirked before diving below the surface of the water, moonlight glinting off her exposed flesh.

Once Katniss understood Johanna's implications she couldn't help the split second glance she took at Peeta's submerged lower half, wondering if Johanna's words were true. She would never know as she looked away embarrassed before her eyes could register anything.

Peeta cleared his throat in an effort to kindly call her attention back to the task at hand.

"Right. You need to relax Peeta. If you relax your muscles, you won't sink. You'll just float like a leaf on the surface of a puddle." She leaned backward until her own shoulders touched the water and lifted her legs until her body was floating in the water. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the weightless feeling for a moment. She opened her eyes when she felt Peeta take her hand, they locked gazes and she held her breath as she watched him lower himself into the water. He slowly, carefully took his weight of his legs and brought them to surface. His face lit up in the brightest of smiles when he didn't sink.

Katniss squeezed his hand. "You did it."

"Floating is hardly an accomplishment, Katniss. Now teach me how to swim."

And she did.

With the help of Finnick's occasional advice, and despite Johanna's constant ribbing, Katniss taught Peeta how to stay afloat and some basic paddling techniques. His swimming wasn't particularly fast or graceful — his movements caused an awful lot of splashing — but after several attempts Peeta was able to swim from one side of the pool to the other on this own.

He swam awkwardly but successfully. As he completed lap after lap, his face lit up in the boyish grin Katniss loved so much.

"You're doing really well," she said proudly.

"I had a good teacher," he replied with a smile.

Katniss felt the warmth curling in her belly and dove under the water in a desperate attempt to cool off. When she resurfaced, she didn't see Peeta. She panicked momentarily, until strong arms wrapped around her. Her relief was short lived however, as Peeta plunged them beneath the surface. When they resurfaced Katniss was still wrapped in his arms, only now she was facing him. She wanted to berate him for being so foolish, for trying something so risky when he still such a weak swimmer but the harsh words died on her lips at the look in his eyes. The heat she felt was reflected in his gaze. Their bodies were so close that their chests brushed against each other with each deep breath. Her hands, resting at the nape of his neck, began to coil upwards into his hair. He licked his lips and Katniss held her breath, hoping.

"What is going on here?" Effie Trinket shrieked.

Katniss dropped her hands into the water with a splash.

"Get out of that pool this instant!" She commanded. Haymitch stood behind her, smirking like the cat that caught the canary. He quickly ducked back inside the ballroom and barked at a waiter to bring them towels immediately.

"What were you thinking? This whole party was thrown in your honor! It's rude to cut out on your guests and highly inappropriate to swim without the proper attire," Effie berated them.

"Oh come on Trinket, it's a nice night for a dip," Johanna called lazily.

Effie peered across the large expanse of water and narrowed her eyes at where Johanna floated shamelessly. "Johanna Mason, I should have known. You would instigate this kind of debauchery. It's a shame your escort never taught you how to be a proper lady."

"You could try Trinket, but I'm pretty sure my bad manners would send you to the grave."

Effie huffed indignantly at Johanna's teasing. She tapped her heels nervously against the concrete until the waiter arrived with several white fluffy towels.

"Come on you two, out of the water."

Katniss took Haymitch's extended hand, the soaking dress was heavy and the once flowing fabric clung to her body stiffly, restricting her movement.

"Oh Katniss, your dress. You've positively ruined it!" Effie paused squinting down into the depths of the water. "And are those your shoes at the bottom?"

Haymitch, Peeta and Katniss could no longer hold back their amusement at Effie's outrage.

"You may think this is funny, but it's not! I doubt the President will appreciate this grave breach in etiquette."

"Give it a rest. They're just kids having a little fun is all," Haymitch defended them.

"Fine, let's go. There's a car waiting to take us back to the training center."

Peeta turned to grab the clothes he discarded when Effie caught sight of his back, she gasped loudly and opened her lips to speak when Haymitch placed a hand over her mouth. "I wouldn't say anything if I were you, Princess. Trust me when I tell you swimming in the President's pool is the least of our worries."

Effie nodded her eyes wide with concern as she watched Peeta pull his white dress shirt over his shoulders.

Once Haymitch removed his hand from her mouth, she brought her own hands up to fix her smeared lipstick. She then adjusted her dress, straightened her shoulders and held her head high. "Alright, come on. We have a schedule to keep."

The car ride back to the training center was quiet and subdued, as was the elevator ride up to the 12th floor.

Haymitch grumbled a goodnight as he grabbed a bottle of clear liquor from a cabinet and made his way to his room. Effie's goodnight was full of forced cheer as she reminded them to rest up, they had another big, big, big day ahead tomorrow.

Peeta made for the bedroom but stopped when he realized Katniss was still rooted to her spot just outside the elevator. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. He saw the sad, faraway look in her eyes and tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She didn't answer him. Instead she made her way to the stairwell that led to the roof. She looked over her shoulder at him, beckoning him to follow.

When he got to the roof, he found her sitting in the same spot they had the night before the games. He sat opposite her, mirroring their positions from that night. He patiently waited for Katniss to speak; knowing that her words would come in time.

When she spoke, her voice was a hoarse croak. "Your back…" She paused to clear her throat. "I completely forgot when I asked you to swim. Just days ago something like that would have torn your stitches. It should have been impossible for you to swim but it wasn't. What happened, Peeta? How could wounds fade to scars that quickly?"

"You know how," he muttered, unwilling to look her in the eye.

"Snow?" She asked, enraged.

Peeta scoffed, "Who else?"

"Tell me what happened, Peeta. What did he say to you?"

"Why Katniss, are you worried he spilled your secrets?" Peeta asked, his voice dangerously low.

"No! No…I was just worried…is all," Katniss said, her voice dropping at the end of her sentence.

Peeta ran his hands through his hair, which felt crisp from the chlorine.

"I got a summons the moment we went off with our prep teams. President Snow wanted to bestow his generosity on me."

"I don't understand. Tell me what happened."

_A valet carried the note in on a silver platter, the crisp white stationary wreaked of roses. The ink was the color of blood. Peeta's presence was requested by the President. Immediately._

_Peacekeepers escorted him and Portia to the President's study. Coriolanus Snow sat behind his desk and appraised Peeta with his snakelike eyes._

_"Mr. Mellark, nice to have you back in the Capitol. I trust you traveled well?"_

_"Yes, sir. Despite the unexpected nature of the trip, we made due."_

_"You play the game much better than your wife, I must say. A man of words and a woman of action. Quite a powerful combination, wouldn't you say?"_

_"Hardly sir, I'm just a chatterbox and Katniss is simply impulsive. Not very admirable qualities."_

_"Some might think otherwise."_

_"They think wrongly, sir."_

_Snow smiled wickedly. Peeta knew how to play the game very well indeed._

_Snow raised a handed and pointed to his back. "Nasty bit of business that happened in your district. But justice is both harsh and blind, Mr. Mellark. Crimes were committed and someone had to pay, it just so happened to be you."_

_"Better me than someone else, sir."_

_"You would say that, wouldn't you?" Snow paused, appraising the younger man. "Anyway, I didn't ask you here to discuss law and order. Hardly the affairs of someone of your status. I simply wanted to offer a means to erase the blight that occurred when Head Peacekeeper Thread assumed control. You're in high demand, Mr. Mellark and people expect certain things of their victors."_

_"And what do they expect of me?" Peeta asked through clenched teeth._

_"Nothing short of perfection." President Snow said menacingly._

"He offered me a full body polish, Katniss. He wanted to heal the wounds and erase the scars in one fell swoop."

"And you said no?" Katniss asked in confusion.

"I said no  _thank you_." He said, emphasizing the last words. "Portia was clever enough to offer a compromise; some kind of cream healed them immediately. Even better than the stuff Madge gave us."

"You refused the President?" She asked numbly. Katniss took a few steps and nearly stumbled in her daze, Peeta tried to catch her but his touch brought her back to herself. She turned on him swiftly then, fire burning in her eyes. "Are you crazy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" She yelled at him.

She clung to her anger in an effort to drive away the fear that was clawing at her insides. Fear for Peeta.

"Katniss," he said softly, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek.

"No!" She yelled, pulling away from his embrace. "You accuse me of being careless, of not playing the game! And then you go and do it yourself?"

Her mind was reeling, Peeta wasn't normally so careless. Unless he wasn't being careless. Unless…he was making himself the target in an effort to protect her. It was just like the arena and the whipping all over again. He was protecting others at his expense.

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "No, Katniss. It's not like that."

"Then what is it like? Because from where I'm standing it looks like you're playing a pretty dangerous game!"

"I'm tired of them covering up the truth with more lies! You don't have a scar or a scratch, Katniss! Our lives were rough, long before the games and we should have scars to show for it!" His voice softened at his next words, "I had so many burn marks from days spent baking with my dad. And you, I know you had dozens of scars from your bow and arrows. But they're gone and sometimes it's like the memories aren't real, it's like the lives we led before weren't real."

He turned away from Katniss, his voice barely audible over the din of the city. "Then after the games, they stitch you up and polish you. Erase all the evidence of having survived hell on Earth. But we still have the scars, Katniss." He beat his hand over his heart to emphasize his next words, "Deep, ugly scars we carry on our souls." He turned and she saw the raw emotion brimming in his eyes. "Part of me is glad I lost my leg. No one can forget what happened, what the Capitol took from us. What the Capitol takes from us every year. Our children. Our innocence. Our hope."

Katniss couldn't restrain the tears that Peeta's words brought to her eyes. She wiped them away furiously before rising to her feet and going to him.

She grabbed his shoulders and forced him to face her and clutched his hands in hers. She gulped in several deep, steadying breaths before confessing to Peeta, "I haven't lost hope." She looked down at their joined hands. " _You_  have always given me hope, Peeta."

He brought a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled ruefully as he asked, "The bread?"

"The bread, the arena, everything..." Katniss sighed, frustrated that she couldn't make him understand that it was so much more than that. "When you gave me that bread you gave me more than food, Peeta. You gave me hope. Do you remember the next day at school? We saw each other across the yard. I saw your face and the bruises and I couldn't…so I looked away. And I saw the first dandelion in the spring. I remembered my father and all the things he taught me and I knew I would survive. You gave me hope then and you give me hope now. You don't forget the person who was your last hope."

She was breathless and unwilling to meet Peeta's eyes by the end of her confession. She untangled her hands from his and fled down the stairs. She raced toward their bedroom, clutching the zipper at her back along the way. She burst through the door to their room and whined in frustration, unable to remove the still damp dress despite her frantic efforts. She stilled when she felt a pair of warm, steady hands on her body. One at her hip to hold her still, the other at the nape of her neck, untying the bow of halter straps.

She held her breath when she felt the bodice of the dress loosen and exhaled a soft sigh when Peeta's hand undid the zipper at back. The dress clung to her hips, leaving her top half clad only in a strapless black bra.

Peeta tucked her hair over one shoulder and placed delicate kisses to the other. Goosebumps broke out across her skin at the sensation. Her head lolled back to rest on his shoulder, her body growing weak, her mind growing hazy at his touch. His hands gripped her hips tightly, wrinkling the fabric bunched there. Slowly he trailed his hands upward, splaying his fingers wide over her rib cage. His clutch was possessive and hungry and Katniss reveled in it.

She drew in quick breaths as his searching fingers stopped just short of her breasts, barely teasing the soft, delicate flesh at the sides. He slid his hands back down her body, the warm skin of his palms causing a delicious friction against her smooth flesh.

He drew tight, lazy circles over her hip bones before swiftly tugging her dress down to her feet.

She felt his warm breath on the small of her back from where he knelt behind her. His breaths were just as shallow and just as eager as hers.

His long fingers wrapped around her ankles before sweeping up the curve of her calves, over her thighs to the edge of her underwear. Katniss held her breath as Peeta dipped his fingers inside the waistband of the black lingerie. Ever so slowly, ever so carefully he slid the silken fabric over the curve of buttocks, down her thighs and left it to pool at her delicate ankles.

She heard Peeta's sharp intake of breath and felt his exhale through the space between her parted legs. The sensation sent electric shocks over her slick folds and she felt an aching emptiness deep within her.

Her thighs clenched at the sound of his voice, husky with desire. "Turn around," he commanded gently.

Katniss closed her eyes before slowly turning in a half circle.

"So beautiful," Peeta murmured before gripping her backside and bringing her body ever closer.

Her eyes flew open when he placed a soft, delicate kiss to her pubic bone, just above her aching core.

She moaned as his lips ghosted over her folds and gasped when his tongue plunged into the depths of her molten wetness.

Katniss clutched Peeta's golden waves as she struggled to stay upright, her body wracked with desire.

"Peeta!" She called out when his clever tongue found the spot that gave her most pleasure. She looked down and her eyes locked with Peeta's blue orbs. She was stunned by the positively  _hungry_  look in his eyes.

"Oh...ah," she said as she clutched him more tightly to her. She felt the newly familiar pressure building within and bit her lip to hold back cries.

Her entire body felt electric and boneless and so  _alive._ It was as if she had been walking through life half-asleep until Peeta's kisses and touches awoke something within her.

Between the feel of Peeta's strong hands clutching her hips and and his lips and tongue lathing at center Katniss was right on the edge. But the vibrations of Peeta moaning her name against her was her undoing.

Wave after wave of pleasure flowed through her. Peeta kissed and licked at her flesh until the last tremor passed. She let out a tired, contented sigh as he laid her down on the bed. She felt the mattress dip down where he rested beside her. She reached out blindly and clutched his hands, bringing them to her chest and resting them over where her heart beat thunderously.

"I love you," he whispered into her skin. She wasn't even sure she was meant to hear it, but she did.

She closed her eyes tightly and swiftly decided on a course of action. She slung one long, toned leg over him and straddled his hips as she brought her hand up to the buttons on his dress shirt.

She slowly undid each button and then peeled his shirt off his shoulders, flexing her fingers into the firm muscles she found there. She moved lower, tugging his loosened pants down his thighs and casting them aside haphazardly.

She licked her lips as she dared to take another look at his manhood. Her breath caught at the sight of him. Just the like the rest of him, this part was strong and solid and beautiful.

She paused, looking at Peeta splayed across the mattress, his blonde hair tousled and impossibly sexy.

She ached with want for him; her beautiful boy with the bread. The boy for whom she would never be good enough.

Katniss trailed her hands along his strong, muscled thighs. "Show me…" she whispered, "How..." she said, angling her head downward, pointing her chin toward his throbbing erection.

"You don't have to return the favor, Katniss. You don't owe me anything," he said in between deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

She blinked, stunned. "I know that. I want to. I want to make you feel good too. "And she did. She wanted so badly to watch his face as he came apart like she had. She wanted to see his eyelids flutter; hear the sounds of his pleasure. She rubbed her legs together to relieve the pressure that was building at just the thought of touching Peeta the way he had touched her.

She brought her lips to his chest and kissed a trail down his body, over his pecs, across his abs down to lines of his hips that enamored her so. She nudged the waistband of his boxers down, her lips eager to discover the unknown territory of his body. Katniss felt him hard and throbbing, straining against his cotton shorts.

The frantic rise and fall of Peeta's chest stilled as Katniss tugged off his final piece of clothing, laying him bare to her. Her silver eyes roamed his body, devouring sights previously unseen. She wrapped her hand around him and he sucked in a deep breath at her feather light touch.

"Like this?" She asked as she swirled a bead of moisture that had gathered at the tip.

Peeta bit his lip and brought his hands to cover his face, trying ground himself; trying not to come undone immediately under Katniss' touch.

He simply nodded and Katniss smirked, delighting in triumph that she had silenced his silver tongue.

She marveled at the silky smooth skin covering his rock hard member. She tightened her grip and stroked her hand up and down along his length. His thrusting hips and pleasured moans were all the encouragement she needed.

But Peeta was not one to seek pleasure selfishly. He brought his hands up and gently palmed Katniss' breasts. She released her hold on Peeta and leaned back to unclasp the bra that still bound her.

Their eyes locked at the realization that they were — finally — laid completely bare to each other. Katniss took hold of Peeta's wrists and placed his hands upon her bare breasts. His large hands covered her chest completely, but Katniss didn't feel inferior she simply felt as though she were in his complete possession.

He gently kneaded the olive-skinned orbs. Katniss keened when he pinched her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. She began to unconsciously rock her hips, grinding the slick flesh of her womanhood against Peeta's thigh.

She resumed her ministrations and wrapped both her hands firmly around Peeta's length.

Their moans echoed in the room as Peeta dipped his hands to her core and Katniss stroked him faster. They engaged in an ancient and primal race, each desperate to finish the other first.

"Peeta…"

"Kat-Katniss!"

They called in unison, explosive pleasure coursing through their bodies.

Katniss collapsed onto to Peeta's chest, breathless and sated.

She felt the sticky evidence of his release on her hand. She blushed furiously as she toyed with the idea of licking her fingers clean, curious to taste him.

Katniss' eyelids drooped and her limbs felt boneless and heavy. She sensed Peeta rise from the mattress and heard the faucet run in the bathroom. He returned with a warm, damp cloth. He washed away the remnants of their desire with careful, reverent strokes before tossing the cloth in the hamper and lying down beside her. She settled into him as Peeta pulled the covers around them tightly, nestling them in a warm cocoon.

Words to the meadow song danced in Katniss' head as she drifted off to sleep.

 _"Here it's safe, here it's warm_  
Here the daisies guard you from harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you."

She awoke to sunlight streaming through the window of their room at the top floor of the training center. Her body felt tired and sore and she bolted upright as memories of the previous night flashed before her eyes.

She heard the bathroom door click open and saw Peeta walk out with a towel slung low on hips and another in hands, drying off his damp hair.

His careful expression turned into a radiant grin once Katniss offered him a tremulous smile.

She clutched the sheet to her chest as Peeta sat down on the bed.

"Still so pure," Peeta chuckled.

"How can you say that!" She exclaimed loudly. She dropped her voice to a near whisper, "How can you say that after last night?" She asked, blushing.

"That," he said, tracing the pad of his finger along her rosy cheek, "is exactly why."

Katniss huffed in feigned annoyance, struggling to quell the inexplicable joy that was bursting from her seams.

Peeta flopped down beside her, stretching his body out lazily. "I ordered us breakfast."

"Peeta! What will Effie say? What will everyone think?"

He sweetly chuckled at her shyness. "We're supposed to be on honeymoon, Katniss. I hardly think anyone will be scandalized by us taking breakfast in bed."

She couldn't argue with his reasoning  _and_ breakfast in bed did sound like a deliciously decadent prospect. But she was definitely not looking forward to what Haymitch would say later on.

Katniss rose from the bed and wrapped the sheet around her body. She opened the dresser drawer and grabbed some clothes when a knock sounded at the door.

She couldn't restrain her strangled gasp at the sight that greeted her when she opened the door.

An Avox had delivered breakfast.

Darius stood on the other side of the door, clutching a silver platter stoically.

Katniss stared at him dumbly for several long moments, so long in fact that the tray began to rattle as Darius' arms shook with the effort of holding it.

Peeta recovered from his shock first and took the tray from Darius' hands. He said thank you and offered a kind smile.

After the door closed, Katniss collapsed onto the floor in a tangle of white cotton sheets. Peeta wrapped his arms around her but it offered little consolation. The warm, safe feeling Katniss had foolishly allowed herself to revel in the night before was gone.

Snow would always win as long as he made the rules of the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katniss' look for the ball is basically Jen's 2010 Oscar look, except the dress is orange instead of red.  
> Also, was super nervous about the smut in this chapter, I've never written any before.


	12. Chapter 12

Hours later a soft knock sounded at the door.

"Peeta, Katniss dears, I'm afraid we have a schedule to follow. You're due for an appearance in the city circle this afternoon and we need to leave in the next hour. Your prep teams will be arriving soon."

"Thank you, Effie. We'll be ready." Peeta replied in a solemn voice from his place sitting on the bedroom floor, his back against the wall.

His eyes never left Katniss, lying motionless on the bed, awake but unreachable. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut. She'd heard Effie's words.

She didn't move when Peeta placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

She still didn't move when her prep team arrived and stared at her with frantic and pitiful expressions.

She didn't move until Haymitch lifted her from the mattress and set her under the spray of an ice cold shower.

The water shocked her body back into awareness and she sputtered at her mentor. "What are you doing!"

"Whatever it takes to wake you up, Sweetheart. You let yourself fall too far down the rabbit hole and there's no coming back."

Katniss shivered violently under the cold water, staring daggers at her mentor.

"I'm giving you five minutes and then you're going to get your ass up and get ready because dammit Sweetheart you're not the only one things are rough for around here. They made Red the Avox, not you. And the boy is sick with worry over you. Even Effie's this close to biting off her manicured nails. I'm sorry for what's happening. What they did to that Peacekeeper is god-awful and it's a damn shame you had to find out that way, but I'm going to keep you alive whether you like it or not and in order to do that I need you primped and ready to go. This isn't the first horrible thing Snow's done and it probably won't be the last, but no matter what the show goes on."

The show went on indeed. It was several more days of public appearances around the Capitol, and nightly parties at the president's mansion.

They were all exhausted — even Effie with her boundless energy and enthusiasm — by the time they boarded the train to return to District 12.

Katniss and Peeta had hardly spoken since that fateful morning. The only kisses they shared were for the cameras but each night, without fail, they found their way to each other, taking refuge in each other's arms. Come morning light, Katniss was cold and hard as the steely color of her eyes.

They were outside District 9 when the train stopped to refuel. Haymitch motioned for them to follow when he exited the train.

"You two will be mentors soon, so I thought maybe there was a lesson you ought to learn." He took a long pause and and kicked some gravel thoughtfully before continuing. "The most important thing to remember in the games is to stay alive, as well you know, but there are a lot of ways to go about doing that. You can lay low, like the pair from Six did. You can pretend, like Johanna. You can outsmart them, like Beetee, or you can just plain beat them, like the Careers do. Now all of them did it alone. But what makes us different is that we didn't do it alone, we had allies."

Katniss and Peeta looked at their mentor questioningly, he had never discussed his own games and truthfully they had never thought to ask.

"We're coming up on the 75th games, another Quarter Quell. You're looking at the winner of the last one. But I didn't win on my own. There was a girl from 12, smart as a whip, and for a while we helped each other stay alive. But I knew there could only be one winner, so I went my own way and told her to go hers. She did, and she died."

Haymitch ran a shaky hand through his greasy hair, but his sharp gaze was steady. "You hear what I'm saying? You abandon your allies and they die. It's a lesson I learned the hard the way. You too, Katniss."

Her eyes flashed with fire at the mention of Rue but Haymitch continued. "I'm just saying, just because you've abandoned hope doesn't mean you should abandon your ally. You two make a pretty good team when you get your heads out of your asses," he smirked before solemnly continuing, "All things considered, you two did an okay job this last trip, but you can sure as hell do better."

He stared at his tributes meaningfully before stalking off toward the train.

Haymitch had one foot on board when Peeta turned around and asked, "Who was the girl? Your ally from Twelve?"

"Maysilee Donner." The train door closed with a resounding thud, leaving Katniss and Peeta alone in the silent aftermath.

"Madge's aunt," she spoke quietly.

Peeta drew in a deep breath before speaking, "Katniss I'm sor—"

"Don't," she interrupted forcefully, placing her finger to his lips."Don't apologize." She turned to him and for once there wasn't steel in her gray eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong. There's no reason for you to say you're sorry."

She didn't move her hand until Peeta nodded his head, acknowledging her words.

They stood shoulder to shoulder looking out over endless fields of grain when Peeta spoke. "He's right though, we make a pretty good team."

"It's what we do. We protect each other."

They were just about to board the train when Katniss stopped. "He was wrong about one thing though."

"What's that?" Peeta asked.

Katniss gave him a small smile. "I still haven't given up hope."

But her hope was tested as the train rolled into the District 12 station. The moment they stepped off the train they knew something was amiss.

The Capitol attendants wouldn't let Effie off the train, which was already reversing its tracks for the return trip. Their bags were quickly and unceremoniously left on the platform. Stranger still, there was no one there to greet them, not their families or even a single Peacekeeper.

But the strong smell of acrid smoke hung in the hazy air.

The three victors shared a questioning look before grabbing their bags and making their way toward town.

Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch were barely to the Justice Building when they saw the pillars of black smoke rising from the Seam.

Katniss dropped her bags and ran for the far edge of town, Peeta not far behind. Some streets away they could see the blaze flare up.  _The Hob._

The first person Katniss happened upon was Hazelle Hawthorne, soot streaked her face and tendrils of hair escaped the bun at the nape of her neck. She pumped buckets of water from a spigot and handed them to miners running to and fro, their meager efforts having little effect on the blazing inferno.

"Gale?" The single word left her lips as a question. Hazelle nodded her head, pointing to toward the burning building.

"He ran back in. Thom went in to try and get the fire at its source when it was still small, but it must have caught Ripper's stash and sent the whole place up."

Katniss ran toward the building but couldn't find a safe place to enter, flames engulfed the whole structure. She knew it was only a matter of time before the rickety old building collapsed. Between the dry, rotted state of the wood, Ripper's liquor and the lingering coal dust the flames would have no end of fuel.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Greasy Sae, the woman was injured and bleeding badly. Katniss tore off the scarf from around her neck and immediately held it up to the woman's wound in an effort to stop the bleeding.

She wasn't even aware Peeta had followed her until she saw his blond head whip past her, toward the burning building. She didn't understand his intentions until it was too late.

"Peeta no!" She yelled, but it was muffled by the roar of the flames.

He disappeared into the building awash in orange flames and black smoke. Her heart nearly beat out of her chest. She made to follow but Haymitch grabbed her around the middle and clutched her tightly to him, refusing to let her follow Peeta into the fire.

She fought, kicked, screamed and clawed at her mentor to let her go, but he didn't budge.

Her voice was hoarse and tears of rage and fear were streaming down her cheeks when she caught sight of him. Peeta and Gale practically dragged an unconscious Thom out of the building. They were barely a few feet clear of the decaying structure when a loud groaning sound, followed by a thunderous crash warned of the building's imminent collapse.

Katniss rushed over to them and enveloped Peeta in a fierce hug when a wave of heat assailed them as the Hob crashed to the ground.

"You scared me to death! Damn you!" She said, her voice trembling as much as her nervous limbs.

"I'm sorry. I'm okay. We're okay," Peeta said reassuringly.

Gale's hacking coughs drew her attention and she threw herself into her best friend's arms. "Hey Catnip."

She stepped back and asked Gale what happened.

"Started to get bored without you around, so we decided to start some trouble." Her eyes widened in alarm, but narrowed once Gale winked at her. His laughter turned into a coughing fit, but his face was solemn when he answered truthfully. "Thread came by. Had Peacekeepers light it on fire. Would have let them all burn, but you know how we are — Seam folk survive."

Katniss looked to Thom, black soot covered his face and his clothing was singed in places. She couldn't tell the extent of his injuries.

"He's burned pretty badly, but I think he'll make it. We need to get him to your mother right away though," Gale said.

They rounded up everyone who hadn't been fortunate enough to escape without injury. Katniss led the small caravan to Victor's Village. Her mother and Prim stood ready and waiting to receive the injured.

Katniss could do little else but watch as her mother and sister flitted around the room in a flurry of activity. Her mother's steady hands stitched up the mean gash on Greasy Sae's forehead while Prim dutifully applied a salve to all of the burn victims. She cringed remembering that particular brand of stinging pain from the arena. Her stomach turned when she caught sight of Thom's back. Black and red skin swirled in scorched patterns on his back, all the way down to the muscle and Katniss was reminded of Peeta's gruesome condition after the whipping. She swayed on her feet but was caught by a pair of strong arms.

"We should get you home, I know you don't have much a stomach for this kind of thing," Peeta said.

She nodded and saw Gale approach out of the corner of her eye. He still had streaks of sweat and blackened smoke on his face, but besides a few burns on his hand, he was otherwise unharmed.

Gale cleared his throat noisily before addressing Peeta. "I wanted to thank you, for what you did today. If you hadn't helped I don't know that I would've...I don't if we'd have made it," he spoke candidly, extending his hand.

Peeta returned the handshake. "Of course, it was the right thing to do."

"Just because it's the right thing, doesn't always mean people do it."

Gale's words reverberated in Katniss' mind during their short walk three houses down. Her thoughts cycled over and over as she and Peeta made their way up the stairs to their bedroom. He set their luggage down and headed toward the bathroom when she caught his arm by the wrist.

"You always do the right thing," she said quietly, a curtain of hair blocked her face from Peeta's view but when she brought her eyes up to meet his, they were glistening silver pools. "You always do the right thing and you always get hurt because of it."

"Katniss I…"

She walked into his arms, wrapping her own tightly around his neck, burying her face at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. "I meant what I said all those months ago. I want to put you somewhere you can't get hurt."

Peeta smiled warmly at her, brushing hair from her face. "And I you."

Something flickered in her gaze and Peeta leaned down just as Katniss raised up on her tip toes, their mouths meeting in a soft, warm kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

In the days that followed their return, Katniss saw how bad things had become under Thread. A slate of new rules and harsher penalties had been instituted in their absence.

Wages were cut and hours extended at the mine. What little Seam folk had before was stretched thinner still. The latest batch of victory parcels arrived late and when the cargo was unloaded District Twelve residents were devastated to discover rotten fruit and grain infested with vermin.

It was punishment to be sure. Everyone was suffering the consequences of President Snow's wrath, from poor Darius to every last starving child in the Seam.

Guilt gnawed at Katniss' insides. She remembered well the hollow days from her youth and the pains of an empty belly. She couldn't bear to see the people of her district waste away. Her only salvation was that her family's shelves remained well-stocked. Strangely enough Snow didn't stop their victor's winnings from coming in. Katniss wanted little to do with the blood money, but she couldn't deny it kept her sister fed. Prim's cheeks stayed round and rosy, her hair remained shiny and lustrous, her ribs didn't protrude from her skin unlike increasing numbers of Seam and town folk.

The inability to hunt and forage left Katniss feeling useless. She stayed hidden in Victor's Village for days after the Hob fire, once the sick and injured were returned to their homes. She couldn't face the people of her district, knowing she was the cause of their suffering.

She spent hours a day holed up in the basement of an empty Victor's home making arrowheads she would probably never use. It felt though good though, to do something familiar. The practiced motions of rubbing limestone along the hard flint edges lulled her mind. It lulled her mind almost as much the white liquor she'd taken to sharing with Haymitch the past few evenings.

The stinging burn she felt the first night dissolved into a warmth she found quite seductive. She understood how Haymitch could easily lose himself to the strong drink. But Peeta would always arrive before she could get too deep in her cups. He'd wrap his arm around her waist to hold her steady — despite her vehement protests that she was fine — and walk across the village to their house.

Katniss didn't see much of Peeta in the days following the fire. He would rise early and not return until evening, until he collected her from Haymitch's.

She just didn't have it within herself to leave the Victor's Village, until one day she decided to follow Peeta into town. Through the haze of her own misery, she had grown curious as to Peeta's goings on. She wondered where he secreted away to for all those hours of the day, without acknowledging, let alone offering an explanation for his absence.

So Katniss followed him, tracking him like prey through the manicured lawns and bizarre topiaries of Victor's Village, over cobblestone walkways in the town square, to the part of town where his family's bakery stood.

She watched Peeta rap on the back door in a strange sort of code and it reminded her of her past backdoor dealings with merchants, where they had wanted her game but didn't want to be seen at their front door associating with a Seam brat.

Katniss ducked behind the spindly apple tree near the hog trough and watched as Peeta exchanged a handful of bills with his father who in return loaded his son with a cart full of baked of goods. She watched father embrace son with a proud smile on his face.

She stood confused and transfixed at the scene before her. Peeta covered the cart with a large cloth before heading off to the Seam. Between Peeta's heavy tread and the loud noise of the rickety cart it was easy keep her presence hidden.

Peeta's first stop was the mine. Katniss struggled to stay in the shadows as she watched him approach a man she recognized as the foreman, they talked for a few minutes before Peeta grabbed a basket filled to the brim with hearty bread and handed it to the grizzly older man. His lined, haggard face was streaked with sweat and coal dust but the he didn't look cowed or ashamed at the charity, as Katniss herself might once have been. The man leveled Peeta with a steady gaze that radiated gratitude. They exchanged a few words and a handshake before Peeta headed off to his next destination.

It only took a few more stops for Katniss to realize what he was up to.

While she had holed up in dark corners like a coward these past few days, Peeta braved distrust and suspicion and ventured into the harsh, unwelcoming world of the Seam so that he might lend a helping hand. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched him, her Boy with the Bread.

The Seam children flocked to him like he was Father Christmas, and perhaps he was. But instead of bearing trinkets and frivolities he bore food, sustenance — the gift of life.

She quickly realized that this routine must have been what he was up to for the past several days, for the children seemed familiar with his presence and the adults were startlingly at ease with the outsider.

Her vision began to blur when Hazelle Hawthorne happened upon her.

"He's a good man, Katniss."

She swiped tears from her face before replying bitingly, "I know that."

"Maybe once upon a time they would have scoffed at his charity, what with his Merchant looks, but they know better. They saw your games, saw how good and pure he was, how much he loved you. They figured out pretty quick he didn't want anything in return."

Katniss' heart twisted as she watched Peeta pick up a scrawny little Seam girl. The tiny child was a slip of a thing, all dusky skin and frail bone with wiry dark hair that fell in tangles around her shoulders. Peeta didn't balk at her torn, filthy dress. He smiled brightly at the young girl and offered her a cheese bun. The girl ate it so quickly she could hardly have tasted it and Peeta's smile grew wider still before handing her another which she ate just as quickly. He engaged the girl's mother in conversation before handing her a hearty loaf of bread, the kind full of fruit and nuts. The little girl kissed him on the cheek before returning to her mother, together running off toward their home, eager to share their good fortune with the rest of their family.

Katniss' voice trembled with emotion when she asked Hazelle, "He's been doing this every day?"

"He does. He starts with the food and once that runs out he usually goes around helping out where he can. Quick fixes and small repairs, things like that. Patched a hole in Leevy's leaky roof in time for the last rain storm. Boarded up broken windows for the Bennets so their girls wouldn't freeze."

Hazelle placed her hands on Katniss' cheeks, forcing the girl to meet her eyes. "You're a quite a pair you two. Brave and selfless to a fault."

Katniss snorted at the woman's kind words. "I'm not good, not like him," she said, waving an arm in Peeta's direction.

"Katniss child, you may be hard and tough but that's just because you're willing to do what it takes to survive, but you've never been unkind or cruel. You are a beacon of light in a dark, dark time."

"No one decent ever wins the games, Hazelle."

"Well the way I understand it, you don't really win the games, you only survive them. So perhaps maybe that counts for something."

Hazelle bent to retrieve the basket of wash she'd set aside. She gave Katniss one last parting glance before heading to town.

Katniss watched Peeta interact with the Seam families, his bright yellow head of hair standing out like a dandelion in the spring against their coal-black locks.

She closed her eyes tightly to keep tears from falling and ran back to the Victor's Village. Her breaths were shallow and short when she climbed the steps to her mentor's home. A fire blazing in the hearth told her that Haymitch had roused himself for the day. She found him with a chunk of bread in one hand and a bottle of white liquor in the other.

Haymitch swallowed when he saw the look on her face. He cleared his throat a few times before speaking. "So you figured it out, didn't you? While you've been holed up in here with me, he's been out trying to the save district singlehandedly."

She snapped at her mentor, "A hundred lifetimes, right Haymitch? Isn't that what you said? That I could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him? Well I'm still messing up the first one, so cut me some slack."

"If we cut you any more slack Sweetheart, you'll hang yourself with it."

"Oh shut up," she said, grabbing a slice of the soft bakery bread.

"Opting for white bread instead of white liquor today I see, maybe you're not such a lost cause yet."

"Isn't he scared? Aren't you scared? I'm so afraid some days I can hardly breathe. Snow's not happy. We didn't succeed in quelling the uprisings. Peeta and I got married for nothing," she lamented.

"No, it wasn't for nothing. Snow set an impossible task before you and you did your best. People wanted to rise against the Capitol long before you volunteered and long before you held up that handful of berries."

"When people say stuff like that it sounds so brave, but I don't feel brave anymore Haymitch. I feel like a coward. All I wanted to do was keep Prim safe and I don't feel like she's any safer now than when Effie pulled her name out of a bowl all those months ago."

"Listen Sweetheart, I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what nasty tricks Snow has up his sleeve. But I do know that you, Peeta and I will do everything we can to keep that sweet little sister of yours safe. You may be scared now, but I know you, you're like me. We hide ourselves away, do what we can to ignore the fear and anger and pain but when push comes to shove the claws will come out. I meant what I said last year, I got a pair of fighters and I know you two won't give up." Haymitch took a drink of liquor, as if to seal his words with a promise and Katniss offered her mentor a grateful smile in return.

"Now go on, get out of here. I can think of a few places where you'd be more helpful that at my table."

Katniss rose and made her way to the door but paused when she heard Haymitch call her name.

"I think it's time we put a stop to your afternoon visits. Last thing we need is another lush on this team."

She nodded in agreement. "Alright."

Haymitch raised his hand in a thumbs up sign, like he did after she received her training score, and Katniss laughed for the first time in days.

The chilly air felt refreshing in her lungs and even her steps felt lighter as she made her way back to the Seam.

She found Peeta fixing rotted out steps in front of Greasy Sae's house. The gash above her eye still looked pretty gruesome, but she was a survivor. Sae spotted her first and called her name as soon as Peeta finished hammering the last nail into place.

"Katniss, come inside! I made some tea to go with the cookies your young man brought me." Sae ushered them inside and sat them down at the table. Sae's young granddaughter took shaky steps around their feet, first clutching to the table's legs and eventually Katniss and Peeta's. The girl lost her balance and was about to tumble to the floor when Katniss scooped her up and sat her on her lap.

She broke off a bite of the soft, frosted sugar cookie and handed it the toddler. The girl squealed gleefully before shoving the entire morsel in her mouth. Katniss laughed before wiping slobber and crumbs from the girl's face. When she looked up she found Peeta's eyes boring into hers, a soft smile on his face. He shook his head and his expression cleared when Sae returned to the table with steaming mugs of tea.

"Haven't see you around since that awful fire, girl. Peeta says you been under the weather. I sure hope you're alright now."

Katniss stole a look at Peeta, whose face revealed nothing.

"Yes, that's right Sae. I haven't felt very well these past few days. I think I'm better now though," she said, casting Peeta a meaningful glance.

"That's good. Good to hear! Nasty bit of business about that fire. But don't you worry, Seam folk survive. And your young man here has been mighty helpful, I must say."

"So I've heard," she muttered.

"I've been wondering girl, what are you planning to do with your house across the way there?" Greasy Sae asked, pointing to Katniss' family home across the dirt street.

"I hadn't given it any thought."

"I figured as much. Now I hope you don't think old Sae is overstepping her bounds, but what do you think about letting someone else live there?"

Katniss set her cup down and blinked slowly. She turned wide eyes on the older woman, asking "You want someone else to live in Daddy's house?"

"Oh I didn't mean to upset you girl, it's just I've been watching it sit there empty all these months and it's a good strong house with a sturdy roof, I know because I watched your daddy thatch it myself and I know you always fixed the leaks in the years since he passed and I was just thinking that it wasn't doing nobody any good sitting there all alone. What do you say?"

Katniss struggled to find words. "I-uh. I...Did you have anyone in mind?"

"You know Thom? From Gale's crew? The one who got burned pretty badly? Well he's got himself a real sweet fiancée and they'd been saving up for a place but with him injured and unable to work right now it's making it real hard for them to make ends meet and I thought that might be something real nice you could do for them."

"You want Thom and his girl to live in Mama and Daddy's old house? The house I grew up in?" Katniss struggled to get the words out. Her thoughts were an incoherent jumble, but all she could understand was that the idea of someone else — someone other than her, her mother, father and baby sister — living in that house hurt her deeply.

Her eyes snapped to Peeta's when he wrapped her hand in his larger, warmer one. He offered her an understanding smile and spoke softly to Sae, "How about you let Katniss think about it, alright?"

"Of course, of course. Like I said, I didn't mean nothin' by it. You think about it and get back to old Sae."

Peeta quickly gathered up his tools and they soon made their goodbyes to Greasy Sae. Katniss walked across the street and stood in front of the house in question. She felt Peeta's warm presence when he stood beside her.

"So this is it, this is where you grew up?"

Katniss could hardly speak past the lump in her throat but she croaked out, "Yes."

She didn't check to see if he followed her when she entered the house, somehow she knew he would.

The house was small and humble but sturdy. Her father made sure of that. She felt an ache deep within her as she looked around the single-story dwelling that had been her home for nearly all her life. She realized that had it not been for the games she would have lived out the rest of her days there. She wouldn't have a constant stream of hot running water, or electricity at all hours of the day, or a large feather bed to sleep in. Her eyes found Peeta in the corner, inspecting his surroundings and she realized that she wouldn't have him either.

Instead of enveloping her in memories as she had expected, the house wrapped her up in a dream. Without trying she began to imagine a world where this was their life, a world where they shared the same bedroom her parents had once occupied. A world where she was nothing more than a hunter and trader and he was the baker. They would struggle and work hard but between the two of them there would always be food on the table. He wouldn't mind living in the Seam, because he knew how much she would hate living in town. They would sweat like pigs in the summer but they would warm each other in winter, sharing heated kisses and touches in a narrow bed.

The dream was sweet and precious to her but it felt like a knife to the heart. It was a dream Katniss never knew she wanted until it was too late. Her eyes found Peeta, filling the small space with his bulk and his warmth and his brightness and suddenly she needed him.

The house was so cold and so dreary and she needed him to warm her from the inside out. She grabbed him suddenly and thrust him up against a wall, his eyes widened at her unexpected use of force but they dropped to her lips when her tongue darted out of her mouth to moisten them.

She rose on her tiptoes and captured his mouth with hers. Her kiss was greedy and desperate and it was the first sign of life she'd shown since that fateful morning she discovered Darius was turned into an Avox.

Her hands snaked their way up into his hair, pulling forcefully on the blond waves, eliciting a deep moan from Peeta.

He turned them swiftly, pinning Katniss to the wall with his hips. He drank from her lips like a man dying of thirst. His tongue sought hers, coaxing her to open wider. He sucked gently on her tongue as his hands roamed across her back, eventually finding purchase at the tops of her thighs and lifting her slightly into the air. Katniss wrapped her legs around his hips at the same time she wound her arms around his neck.

They tasted like sugar and bitter tea from earlier and Katniss liked that they tasted the same. She moaned at the feeling of his tongue's rough texture sweeping over hers repeatedly. As the warmth within spread from her center to her fingers and toes, she silently berated herself for being such a fool, for denying herself Peeta when nothing else was a more soothing balm that his strong arms and fierce kisses.

Her hands just moved to the hem of his shirt when she heard someone calling her from outside. She and Peeta tore themselves apart seconds before a frantic Rory Hawthorne burst into the room.

"Katniss! Katniss! You have to come quick!" The young boy grabbed her arm and despite being such a wiry thing he was strong. He led Katniss outside and ran toward the meadow at full speed. Katniss and Peeta followed him until they reached the fence marking the district boundary. Katniss had never seen the boy so worked up before.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and forced him to look her in the eyes, "Calm down, Rory. What is it? What's wrong?"

The words tumbled out of his mouth so quickly Katniss could hardly understand. "Gale came home and he was real mad and real scared and he grabbed his warmest clothes and as much food as we could spare and he told Mama that he was sorry but that he had to go. And he told me to stay and I wouldn't listen and so I followed him and he...he crossed the fence."

"What!" Katniss exclaimed, disbelieving that her oldest friend could be so stupid. It was ill-advised before, but now with Thread in charge it was outright rebellion to go into the woods.

"What was he thinking?" She muttered under her breath. Katniss looked at Rory, his normally dusky skin was ghostly white with fear. She needed to calm him down before he hyperventilated.

"It's OK Rory. I just need you to tell me which direction he went." She scanned the horizon as Rory pointed East. She knew the territory and guessed that Gale was headed toward their weapons.

"Alright Rory, you did good. But I need you to go home. I need you to go home to your mother and brother and sister and be strong. Can you do that? I'll do what I can to make everything alright, but I need you go home right now. Right now, you understand?"

The boy nodded in understanding. He scanned the forest one last time in a desperate hope to see his older brother on the horizon, but Gale was nowhere to be found. A hard look from Katniss finally got him to turn away and head home.

"What on Earth do you think is important enough that Gale would cross the fence and leave his family behind?" Peeta asked.

Katniss' mind was spinning with possibilities but ultimately she had no idea.

"I don't know. I honestly can't think of anything more important to Gale than his family."

Her eyes scanned the area, trying to figure out how Gale could have hopped the fence with the electricity running. And the gentle hum coming from the wire told her that it was definitely electrified. But then she saw it, a low hanging branch that she could never reach on her own, but Gale just might be tall enough to reach if he jumped his highest.

She was eyeing the distance from the ground to the tree limb when Peeta cleared his throat behind her. "If you get on my shoulders you could probably reach that branch."

She tried to deny that's what she was thinking. "What? Peeta, no I-"

"It's alright Katniss. I understand, I truly do. You have to do this. You have to do what you can to bring him back."

She wrapped him up in a fierce hug, silently thanking him for being so understanding. Peeta's strength and her agility made for a good combination as Katniss quickly found herself on the other side of the district boundary.

"Katniss," Peeta called. She walked until barely inches separated them on opposite sides of the fence. Peeta extended a hand through the electrified wire and she grasped it, feeling the cool metal of his wedding ring against her palm.

"Be careful. Whatever caused Gale to jump the fence must be awfully important or awfully dangerous."

She nodded, "I know."

"Whatever happens, promise me I'll see you at midnight?" He asked.

"At midnight," she solemnly vowed.

Katniss made her way into the forest. Despite the circumstances it was still comforting to be surrounded by the familiar woods.

She tracked Gale to the hollowed out log where they stored their weapons and found his bow and hunting knives missing. She grabbed hers and strapped the quiver across her chest before notching an arrow, ready to fire.

She estimated she was about two-thirds of the way to the cabin by the lake when she spotted him. Katniss was speechless when she found that he wasn't alone.

"Madge?" She choked out.

"Katniss!" Madge turned around swiftly, startled. Her cheeks and ears were red with cold, her breath came out in short, white puffs. A white fur cap sat tilted upon her head, her fair hair spilling in golden waves about her shoulders. Madge would have looked lovely were it not for the absolutely frightened look upon her delicate face.

"Catnip, I can explain," Gale said, his arms raised defensively.

Katniss felt punched in the gut. She was breathless and so confused at the sight before her. She stumbled to a nearby rock and sat down, stilled dazed.

"I don't even...Why?" She asked breathlessly.

"I had to Katniss, they took the mayor and they were gonna take her too."

"What? I don't understand."

Madge placed a beseeching hand on Gale's arm, "Let me explain." She kneeled before Katniss and looked her friend in the eye. "Peacekeepers showed up at my father's door. They hit him over the head with a baton and dragged him off to the train station."

"But why? He's the  **mayor.** "

"Suspicion of seditious activities," Madge replied.

Katniss couldn't believe what Madge was telling her. It was impossible, the Mayor of District Twelve couldn't possibly be involved in the uprisings.

"But that's impossible!" Katniss exclaimed.

"Not really," Madge shrugged. "Rebellion runs in my family I suppose."

"What do you mean?" Katniss asked.

Madge took a deep breath before looking Katniss right in the eye and saying, "Maysilee Donner is my mother."

Katniss struggled to find words. "No, but I thought — Maysilee was your aunt. She was in the games with Haymitch. She died."

"No Katniss. My mother's name is Maysilee Donner Undersee. The woman who died in the arena was my aunt, Marybeth."

"What? I don't — Madge I don't understand. How?"

"My mother's name, Maysilee Donner, was called in the Reaping. My aunt took her place. They were twins you see, they looked exactly alike, sounded exactly alike, even wore the same outfit to the Reaping. My mother had always been sickly — her headaches, you know. Marybeth made a split-second decision to volunteer for her sister. When they called my mother's named she marched right forward and no one was the wiser." Madge blinked back tears before continuing. "That's why I gave you the Mockingjay pin when you volunteered for Prim. It was my aunt's district token and you reminded me of her, of her bravery."

"I still don't understand. How is Gale involved in any of this, why are you running away?"

Madge and Gale shared a look before Madge spoke again, "Since the whipping Gale and I became friends and he was there when the Peacekeepers came for my father. He helped get me out."

Katniss shook her head, she still didn't understand. "But why are you running? You can't make it in the woods, they'll find you. Where are you are you going to go?"

"District 13," Madge replied.

"There is no District 13," Katniss said, repeating information that had been drilled into her every school year for as long as she could remember. "They wiped it off the map."

"That's want the Capitol wants you to believe, Catnip," Gale said.

"You two can't be serious! You really think District 13 still exists? And what, you'll be safe when you get there?" Katniss asked incredulously.

"I know it exists, Katniss," Madge said. "I know it exists because my father has been in contact with their leader. My father  _is_  guilty of seditious activity and while I am scared for his life, I am so proud that he has been trying to save the people of his district and overthrow the Capitol."

Katniss was floored. "You really are running away? To join the rebellion?" She turned her sharp gaze on Gale, "What about your family? You can't do this to them!"

"If I can change the world for them, be a part of the revolution — that's all that matters. Besides Catnip, you'll look after them while I'm gone won't you?"

Katniss couldn't deny that she would, of course, look after Gale's family as if they were her own.

Finally coming to terms with the reality of the situation, that there was a District 13 and her only two friends were on their way there, Katniss unhooked the quiver of arrows from around her chest and handed it to Gale.

"Here, you'll need mine too."

He hugged her fiercely before whispering, "Thanks Catnip" in her ear.

She told them as much about the woods surrounding Twelve as could before wishing them a safe journey and making her trek back. By the position of the moon in the sky she guessed that it was nearly midnight. She was exhausted and weary when the fence came into view, but a blond head of hair turned silver in the pale moonlight was enough to bring a smile to her face.

Peeta offered her a lopsided grin when he saw her and Katniss smiled in return. It felt so good when his arms wrapped around her as she climbed down from the tree that for a long moment Katniss didn't move from his embrace. The world as she knew it was about to turn upside down and she just wanted to savor Peeta's warmth and steadiness.

He pulled back to look Katniss in the eye, "Are you alright? What happened? Where's Gale?"

Katniss shook her head, grabbed Peeta by the hand and ran to Victor's Village. She barged into their mentor's house. When Haymitch didn't immediately wake from her prodding she doused him with a pitcher of ice water. He sputtered angrily but shut up pretty quickly when she hurriedly related the story of what happened that afternoon, from the mayor being taken into custody, to Madge and Gale making a run for District 13. Their mentor's eyes widened in alarm and he whispered something about "too soon" but then he was up and about, lacing up his boots and barking orders.

"Katniss, go to Rooba and get as much pig's blood as she'll sell ya. Boy you come with me. Meet us at the fence as quick as you can Sweetheart, let's see if we can't clean up your 'cousin's' mess."

Katniss ran to Rooba's butcher shop and pounded on the back door as hard as she could until a light finally came on. Between heaving breaths she finally got out the purpose of her visit and Rooba came back from the cooler with several gallons of pig's blood so red it was nearly purple. Katniss thrust the money into the woman's hand, offering a generous amount for her expediency and good deal more for silence. She ran to the spot in the fence that she had climbed over earlier that day and found Haymitch and Peeta waiting for her. Peeta used knives and hatchets to carve out very convincing claw marks in the nearby trees and brush.

When Haymitch saw her he called her over and started pouring blood around the area. He grabbed an old, worn shirt and ripped it to shreds. Slowly the picture started to form and she understood her mentor's plan.

"An animal attack," she said.

"Wild dogs," Peeta offered.

"Feral enough to tear a man to shreds," Haymitch said.

"Think it'll work?" Katniss asked.

"I sure as hell hope so, Sweetheart. I sure as hell hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to visit me at Tumblr, my username is Optimus-Pam.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has harsher language and violence than the story so far, so be warned if that's not your thing.

Just after dawn Katniss and Peeta were woken by the sound of thunderous steps running up their stairs. Before they could disentangle themselves peacekeepers broke through the door and roughly dragged them from their bed. They were led downstairs none too gently. A peacekeeper landed a hard blow to Katniss' shoulder that pushed her out the door. In the cold, gray light of dawn she saw Haymitch on his knees in the center of Victor's Village.

Thread held a gun to his head.

The terror that gripped her caused her senses to sharpen and the head peacekeeper's words to finally reach her.

"I will blow your fucking brains out right here, right now if you don't tell me where that goddamned Hawthorne boy has gone." Spit flew from Thread's mouth with each word.

Peeta grabbed her hand, offering a brief moment of comfort before peacekeepers forced them down onto their knees. Their hands were roughly brought behind their heads. A particularly cruel peacekeeper — one new to the district — landed a hard kick to where Peeta's leg met the prosthetic before falling back in the ranks.

She reached out to comfort Peeta when Thread swiftly turned on her, pointing the gun directly at her chest. "I swear I will burn the heart out of you, Girl on Fire, if you don't tell me where that fucking Seam filth friend of yours went."

Katniss thought she knew terror. She thought she was schooled in it the day her father didn't come home from the mines; the day Prim's name was called in the Reaping; the day she found Peeta stabbed, bloody and half-dead in a river; the day president Snow demanded she quell rebellion in the districts, but Katniss was wrong. Cato's menacing glances and President Snow's frosty glares couldn't compare to the absolute rage she saw in Thread's eyes. This man didn't just want her dead, he wanted her obliterated.

Her words were trapped in her chest like a cage, caught somewhere between her lungs and her throat, unable to get out.

Peeta, ever cool, ever confident, answered for her. "We don't know. We have no idea where Gale has gone. We didn't even know he was missing."

Thread pistol whipped Peeta across the face, landing a hard blow on his left cheek. "Shut your mouth. You can't talk your way out of this one. I've been warned just how well you can lie Mellark. Say one more word and I will mangle your precious wife's face so badly Panem won't recognize her."

Katniss watched Peeta's throat work as he swallowed down whatever story he had been about to tell.

Peeta would risk his own safety in a minute, but he was not about to trifle with hers.

Thread's attention returned to Haymitch when their mentor emitted a deep, hacking cough. He spit blood from his split lip onto the ground, close — too close for it to be an accident — to Thread's feet.

"I could kill you, you know?" He taunted, slowly circling Haymitch. "Each district really only needs one mentor, the star-crossed lovers are more than enough for a piece of shit like Twelve." Thread cocked his gun and put it to Haymitch's temple, "And you've been around long enough Abernathy. A drunken failure like you? It's not so hard to believe you'd finally end your miserable existence and put a bullet in your brain."

"Not hard to believe at all. Thought about it myself plenty of times," Haymitch said and there was no mistaking the ring of truth to his statement.

"Then what stopped you, you miserable fuck?"

Haymitch looked up, his Seam gray eyes boring into Katniss and Peeta. "Them." He coughed, cleared his throat and spoke again. "I may be a 'miserable fuck' Thread, but no way in hell was I going to make the children of this district take that train ride alone."

"Such a fucking hero. Is that what Hawthorne's up to? Is he trying to play the hero? Trying to save your pathetic mayor's girl?" Thread snarled.

"I have no idea what that boy is up to. He is not my responsibility. These two pretty much keep my hands tied. Well you've actually done that right now, but you know what I mean," Haymitch said sarcastically.

Thread grabbed the baton from his belt and landed a hard blow to Haymitch's shoulder blades, causing him to crumple to the ground.

The head peacekeeper leaned down to whisper menacingly in the mentor's ear, "Your wits can't save you this time. You will tell me where Hawthorne is or you die."

"I don't-I don't know. I haven't seen him since the Hob fire. I have nothing to do with that boy." He wheezed out between labored breaths.

Thread turned his gaze to Katniss, but kept his gun aimed at Haymitch. "You. You can't lie for shit. You will tell me where Hawthorne went or I will put a bullet in your mentor."

Katniss couldn't breathe. Adrenaline coursed through her veins amidst the chaos and confusion and she couldn't think. She couldn't think of a thing to say. Her mind was present enough not to let her admit the truth, but at the same time she wasn't clever enough to come up with a lie. So she just remained silent.

Thread fired a bullet into the air, cocked the gun again and jammed it against Haymitch's skull. His voice was a growl, ferocious like the muttations, as he began to count.

"One, two, thr-"

"Sir! We found something!" A peacekeeper shouted as he came upon the fray, Purnia at his heels.

"What is it?"

"An attack, wild animal of some sort. There's blood everywhere and it's near the district boundary. No one could survive, from the looks of it," he replied breathlessly.

"Can anyone confirm if it's Hawthorne?" He snarled.

Purnia spoke up, "We spoke to his family. His younger brother confirmed the last time he saw him his brother was in that part of town. Times have been hard for the Hawthornes, sir. He might have been desperate enough to try and take down a wild beast. Only…" she gulped before continuing, "from the looks of it, he got taken down first. It's gruesome Commander."

Thread smiled then. A dangerous, twitch at the far corners of his mouth. And suddenly Katniss understood what Snow liked about this man, why he was sent to Twelve.

"Let's take a field trip, shall we?" He said with a false brightness in his voice.

They took a circuitous route to the district's edge, avoiding town and the Seam. The sight that greeted them was truly gruesome to behold. Blood and very convincing claw marks, carved by Peeta's skilled hands, marred the area.

Thread was silent for a long moment before he turned to a lieutenant. They spoke quietly, but Katniss' trained ears could make out the gist of their conversation.

"That's a lot of blood for just one body, sir."

"Hmm. The Undersee girl, perhaps."

"Could be they were attacked trying to escape the district."

"It's possible," Thread said pensively. He turned to Katniss. "You're a hunter, what do you think happened here, Everdeen?"

She gulped before answering, "Looks like wild dogs. Wouldn't be the first time they got someone."

A chill ran down her spine at the cruel bark of laughter that emanated from Thread.

"Fed to the dogs, eh? A fitting end for the likes of him. Maybe I should I tie you up and feed you to the dogs like you did my boy?"

His words hit Katniss like a physical blow. Hatred. Fear. Guilt. They churned in her gut begging for relief, until, with one great heave they were expelled from her body.

After, her voice came out a pained, raspy whisper, "Cato."

"That's right, you little bitch. He was mine and you killed him. You and your pathetic baker and drunken mentor managed to kill MY BOY!" He raged, landing a smack to her face.

"Do you know where Peacekeepers come from? District 2! Do you know why? Because we have the killer instinct! And somehow, a Seam slut from Twelve managed to kill one of the greatest competitors in the history of the games."

With his words Thread's hands wrapped around her throat. He pulled her up and forced her back into a tree smeared with blood.

"I know all about your nightmares, Girl on Fire. And I will enjoy watching each one come true." His fingers tightened around her throat, cutting off her air. Katniss clawed at his hands, trying to find some relief. Distantly, she heard a struggle before a baton connected with flesh. Spots were swimming before her eyes when a voice finally broke through the din.

"Sir, we have orders," the lieutenant spoke.

Katniss fell to the ground when Thread released her. She crawled to where Peeta lay a crumpled mass on the ground as Thread barked out orders.

"I want the entire district and nearby forest swept! If there's even a chance Hawthorne or Undersee are alive or being sheltered, I want to know! If you find anything, bring it to me!" The peacekeepers dispersed into teams, heading off in all directions.

For all their sakes, Katniss hoped there was a District 13.

* * *

She could taste the bitterness of Thread's disappointment when the peacekeepers charged with searching the forest returned, having found no trace of Gale.

Later another group of peacekeepers arrived and Katniss' heart clenched in her chest when she saw Gale's family in tow.

Vic and Rory were equal parts devastated and disbelieving. Posy sniffled into her mother's neck. And Hazelle — the strongest woman Katniss knew — was broken; shaken to her core. Whatever resolve remained after her husband's death finally gave way at the news of Gale's loss.

Hazelle's eyes dimmed as she surveyed the scene, taking in the carnage. She emitted a pained sob from the depths of her soul when her eyes landed on Gale's worn shirt. A shirt she had laundered and mended countless times.

Katniss's mouth filled with blood as she bit her tongue in an effort to stay quiet. How badly she wanted to run to Hazelle and tell her it was an illusion, part of an elaborate lie; that Gale was at least alive, if not safe. But she could offer no words of comfort nor could she ease Hazelle's suffering. Knowing the truth was dangerous in times like these and, as much as their grief for Gale pained them, it was also their best protection. Haymitch was right.

_In the darkest hours of the night, they finally finished setting the scene they hoped would convince Snow, Thread and anyone else who bothered to look that Gale was indeed dead. Mauled by wild animals. The hunter who became the hunted._

_Peeta packed away the last of their supplies when Katniss whispered that she would meet him back at Victor's Village._

" _And where do you think you're going, Sweetheart?" Haymitch drawled._

_She turned on her mentor, blinking owlishly. "To tell Hazelle, she has to know."_

" _No. She really doesn't."_

" _Haymitch, I have to. Losing him_ —  _it would kill her."_

" _No, knowing the truth will kill her. It will get them all killed. Think, Sweetheart. The same rules that apply to us don't apply to them. Panem would notice if something happened to a victor. But a whole Seam family could disappear in an instant. And no one would say a word, fearing they might be next."_

" _You can't mean to let her think…" she accused._

" _Plausible deniability. It's their best defense if anyone comes sniffing around, asking questions."_

" _She'll be devastated," she cried._

" _Katniss," Peeta whispered softly. She felt his hand on her shoulder, a warm, steady weight anchoring her, keeping hysteria at bay. "Hazelle is strong, she'll survive. And isn't it...isn't it better for her to suffer now and maybe find joy later? If Gale lives, let it be a happy surprise." He looked to Haymitch for assurance. The grizzled mentor nodded. "Ignorance will keep them safe, Katniss. It will hurt, but it's our best chance at keeping them alive."_

_Her mind whirled, trying to come to terms with everything. The Undersees were rebels. District 13 still existed. Gale was gone. Lying to Hazelle. She heard Peeta and Haymitch murmuring in the background but she couldn't make sense of it. She couldn't make sense of anything. And then she felt Peeta's arms sweep behind her knees, lifting her against his chest. She buried her face in his neck and gave in to the emotions that overwhelmed her._

" _Guess I'll finish cleaning up the mess," Haymitch snarked under his breath as Peeta made his way to Victor's Village, Katniss in his arms._

_He laid her down on the bed but Katniss refused to unwind her limbs from his body. Peeta settled in beside her and held her close._

" _The lies. They just keep getting bigger. And as they get bigger I just feel smaller and smaller, like I have less control. Not that I had much control in the first place," she snorted in derision. "I feel like I'm drowning Peeta. Drowning under the weight of it all. Of everything I set in motion. A handful of berries caused all this. I did this. Darius, the Undersees, Gale and poor Hazelle...oh my, my…" she choked up thinking of Hazelle and the devastation she would feel at the news of Gale's loss._

_Peeta rubbed soothing circles on her back and spoke in a soft but pensive voice. "I think the wheels of rebellion were turning long before you pulled out a handful of poison berries, Katniss. I don't think either of us are to blame. I think we're just pieces in a much larger game. And not just us, not just the victors. Hazelle, Gale, Madge. We're all tributes in a much larger game._

" _That's terrifying, Peeta."_

" _Hmm," he hummed. "It is. I'm just trying to figure out who Snow's playing."_

" _What do you mean?" She asked._

" _We're pieces, Katniss. Not the players. Someone out there is Snow's opponent. Someone is playing the game at his level. And I'm not convinced the enemy of our enemy is our friend." His fingers played with the hair at the end of her braid as he spoke._

_Another Snow, out there in the world, pulling strings? Peeta's words shook her to her core. She shivered and Peeta pulled up the quilt that lay at the foot of their bed, wrapping it tightly around them._

_The world was coming apart at the seams, she saw that now. There was little they could do to stop it, but they could protect the ones they loved. She pulled Peeta a little tighter and buried her face in his chest. Yes, she would protect her loved ones._

* * *

Thread's cruelty knew no bounds. He wasn't content to let the Hawthorne family suffer in private. He instructed peacekeepers to lead them into town. A crowd gathered as the Hawthornes were taken to the stocks.

"I warned you that criminals would be punished!" Thread roared. "In the case of the traitor Gale Hawthorne, justice has already been served. Wild dogs devoured him near the district boundary." A gasp went through the crowd at the horrific news. "Why was he near the district boundary when escaping district bounds is against the law? Illegal immigration is a punishable offense. But Hawthorne isn't here to receive his sentence. So that burden falls to his family."

The crowd stirred at this, shouting their displeasure at such cruel treatment. "You disagree with me? You disagree with the law? Well this is what happens when you defy the Capitol!" Several peacekeepers came forward and grabbed Hazelle, Vic and Rory. They were bound to the stocks in the center of town. "I am not unkind, I am not without leniency," Thread told the crowd. "Hawthorne's punishment would be death. His family will pay his debt and their penance shall be shame. They will sit here for 24 hours. You will offer them no food, no drink, no solace. Criminals will be punished. And if criminals cannot be apprehended, their families will be punished in their place."

Thread's words washed over the crowd like a wave of dread. They were sympathetic to the Hawthornes, but they were silent nonetheless.

Purnia grabbed a sobbing Posy from another peacekeeper and brought her over to Katniss. "I'm sure you don't mind looking after her for the night? It's better than taking her into protective custody."

Katniss mouthed 'thank you,' as she picked Posy up, wrapping her up in a warm and protective embrace. The small girl clung to her and buried her face in Katniss' neck, leaving a trail of wet, snotty tears in her wake.

"Oh Posy," Katniss cried into the girl's hair. She was shaking violently and so Katniss began to a hum a soft lullaby in her ear.

"You can come home with us tonight, Posy." Peeta smiled at the girl. "We'll get you some dinner and a bath and tomorrow will be here before you know it and then you can go home with your mother and brothers." He rubbed soothing circles on the girl's back.

"But G-Gale won't be there," she sniffled.

There was nothing they could say to the small girl. She was right, Gale wasn't coming back.

She cried herself to sleep by the time they reached the Victor's Village. Katniss set her down on the sofa and wrapped her up in a soft, warm blanket. She followed Peeta into the kitchen, where she found him preparing ingredients. Chicken, root vegetables, flour and butter.

"What are you making?" she asked quietly.

"Chicken pot pie. It's the most comforting thing I can think of. My father would make it for us when we were sick, sometimes. If my mother let him, that is. But she loves his chicken pot pie, so more often than not she let him," he told her playfully.

"Hmm, it sounds delicious, what goes in it?" Katniss wasn't truly interested in the recipe and Peeta understood that. But the sound of his deep voice steadily reciting all the steps as he went through them calmed her.

She watched his skilled hands deftly chop vegetables, roast chicken and stir a rich thick gravy. When all the delicious-smelling ingredients simmered in a pot Peeta began to make a pie crust. He pulled cold butter from the ice box and began to measure flour when they heard a creak in the floor.

Posy Hawthorne stood in the doorway with her thumb in her mouth. Her disheveled mess of dark curls formed a halo around her head. Katniss didn't know how a sight could be so precious and so heartbreaking at once. She lifted the girl up onto her lap. Two pairs of Seam gray eyes watched Peeta as he methodically cut the butter into the flour.

"Why you do that?" She asked when he added a tablespoon of ice water.

"I don't want the butter to get warm. Cold butter is the key to a good crust. The less it melts, the flakier it will be," Peeta answered.

Posy grabbed a small handful of flour from the bowl on the worktop and set it down in a pile in front of her. "It looks different from the kind Mama uses."

"The flour your mama uses comes from a different kind of grain," Peeta explained.

"Tessa-tesserae grain?" She asked.

"Yes," Peeta nodded solemnly.

She didn't ask any more questions and instead began to draw shapes in the flour. Katniss wasn't much of an artist, but she helped her form basic shapes. The sun. A flower. A home.

After Peeta put their meal in the oven, he dumped the rest of the flour onto the counter and joined Katniss and Posy in drawing shapes. Posy crawled onto Peeta's lap once she realized he was a far superior artist. Katniss watched them, their heads bent together over the soft, white powder. More and more elaborate shapes coming to life as Peeta guided Posy's hands. A warmth spread through her chest at the sight, until the ding of the oven interrupted.

They ate dinner in relative silence. The events of the day had caught up with all of them, Posy in particular, who almost fell asleep with her face in her pot pie if Peeta hadn't scooped her up and carried her upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms.

The next morning Katniss woke to find Peeta and Posy in the kitchen, pulling a fresh batch of cheese buns from the oven.

"Ah, ah, let them cool first Posy," Peeta chided gently, his tone full of mirth. He handed her an apple and she bit into the crisp, green flesh gleefully.

Peeta walked over to where Katniss stood in the doorway. "I packed a basket of food for the Hawthornes. I figure they'll need it with Gale gone and Thread's eye on them. I already spoke to your mother and Prim. They'll go with you when it's time, I thought it might be wise to have healers with you, just in case."

"Thank you, that was kind," she said before all his words clicked into place. "Wait, you're not coming?" Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I have some things I want to talk to Haymitch about," he said cryptically.

"Look who's keeping secrets now," she said in jest.

She walked over to Posy and ruffled the girl's curls before handing her a cheese bun and grabbing one for herself.

They spent most of the day whiling the hours away, trying to keep Posy distracted. An hour before sunset, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen arrived. They had prepared a basket of their own for the Hawthornes, beside foodstuffs were healing herbs and poultices.

Peeta stuffed one last batch of cookies into the basket before he picked Posy up into his arms. She was wearing one of his shirts, they'd dressed her in it after her bath. "Come on Posy, let's go get you dressed. Your clothes should be dry by now."

"Do I have to?" She whined sweetly, causing all the women in the room to laugh.

"You don't want to?" Peeta asked.

"I like your shirt. It's soft." She said.

"Yes, it is." He smiled. "It's some kind of fabric Portia designed."

"And it's pretty," she said batting her eyes at him childishly.

He laughed again. "Also Portia. She dyed the fabric to match my eyes, or so she said."

"And it smells good," she added, taking a big whiff. "It smells like you. Like cinna-cinnamamenum," she huffed as she struggled with the word.

"Like cinnamon?" He offered.

"Yeah like that! And something else too."

"Cinnamon and dill," Katniss whispered under her breath.

Posy's delightful gasp filled the room when Peeta told her, that yes, she could keep his shirt since she liked it so much.

Katniss exchanged a glance with Peeta before she took Posy from his arms. His look told her everything he didn't want Posy to hear.  _It's dangerous. Be careful. Protect her. Protect yourself._

The walk to the square was longer than Katniss could ever remember it being. When they arrived, Hazelle, Rory and Vic were still bound to the stocks. Peacekeepers stood sentry with weapons aimed at the Hawthorne family. Katniss handed Posy to Prim and walked up to the man she recognized as the lieutenant from yesterday.

"It's been 24 hours," she said through gritted teeth.

He looked down his nose at her and then at his wrist. "Not by my watch. There's still three minutes, according to Commander Thread's orders."

Katniss wanted badly to put an arrow through the man's eye, instead she walked over to her mother, Prim and Posy and waited out the three minutes in enraged silence. As soon as time was up, she walked over to the stocks. It galled her to look at the lieutenant for permission, but she did. At the slightest incline of his head, she began to remove Hazelle's bindings, then the boys in turn.

Hazelle fell into Katniss' arms. Exhaustion and grief claiming her. Mrs. Everdeen handed a canteen of water to each of the boys, which they gulped down greedily. She passed a third to Katniss, who held it to Hazelle's lips, urging her to drink.

"Drink Hazelle, drink!" She commanded. Panic rose within her, for one brief moment she was terrified that Hazelle would become like her mother, overcome with depression; unable to cope with Gale's loss; an empty shell where a mother used to be. But Katniss was wrong, something sparked in Hazelle's eyes and the woman brought the water to her lips. She coughed up the first few sips, but continued to drink deeply.

She wrapped her arms around Hazelle's waist and brought the woman to her feet. "Come on, let's get you home."

The Hawthornes were tired and in despair, but not harmed much. Rory had a bruise on his shoulder, where he was butted by a gun and all their wrists were chafed where the rope rubbed against their skin.

Katniss sat on the sofa, applying a salve to Hazelle's wrists when the older woman finally spoke to her.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" Her voice didn't break, but Katniss could see the tears in her glassy eyes.

Katniss couldn't speak the truth, so she just nodded.

"He wasn't just running, was he? He wouldn't leave us like that. He was trying to help her...he was trying to help the mayor's daughter, right?" She pleaded.

"I think...I think so." Katniss replied hesitantly.

"He was good, my boy. Stubborn as a mule and hotheaded to boot, but he was good, Katniss. He was so good." Hazelle covered her mouth with her free hand, trying to choke back a sob. She looked into the kitchen, where her children sat at the table with Prim and Mrs. Everdeen, serving them a hearty meal of soup and rolls.

"I'm so sorry…" She began, but Hazelle cut her off before Katniss could finish her apology.

"Don't you dare, Katniss. I have told you once and I will tell you again. You are not responsible for the choices my son made and you are not responsible for all the bad things that befall the people of this district. Those decisions are being made far, far way from here by men who don't care if we live or die in Twelve. Only that the coal is mined."

Katniss studied Hazelle. She took in the hard glint in her eyes, the stubborn set of her jaw. She finally understood where Gale's fire came from.

They sat in heavy silence for a long while, until the viewing screen in the house suddenly clicked on. That meant mandatory viewing for whatever the Capitol was airing.

The golden Capitol seal flashed on the screen, the theme song's trumpets blared within the quiet of the small house.

But instead of being greeted by a smiling Caesar Flickerman, President Snow, garbed all in white, stood at a podium. A young boy, also dressed in white, stood beside him holding a simple wooden box.

Mrs. Everdeen gasped, "It must be the reading of the card."

"Is it time for that already?" Hazelle said.

"What is it?" Prim asked.

"It determines the special rules for the Quarter Quell," her mother mumbled a reply.

"But it isn't for months yet," Prim said.

"They always do this. Announce it in advance. Gives the Capitol something to look forward to," Hazelle said disdainfully.

President Snow went on to tell what happened in the previous Quarter Quells. "On the 25th anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it."

"On the 50th anniversary," the president continued, "as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes."

That was the year Haymitch had won...

"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," he said. The little boy in white stepped forward, holding out the box as he opened the lid. The camera picked up the tidy, upright row of yellowed envelopes indicating whoever devised the Quarter Quell system had prepared for centuries of Hunger Games. The president removed the envelope clearly marked with a 75. He ran his finger under the flap and pulled out a small piece of paper. Without hesitation, he read, "On the 75th anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

A collective gasp went through the room and for a moment Katniss didn't understand. It took her a minute to put the pieces together. District 12 only had three existing victors. Herself, Haymitch and...

A desperate cry escaped her before she jumped up and ran out the door as fast as her feet could carry her. She ran to Victor's Village with only one thought on her mind.  _Peeta._


	15. Chapter 15

Her legs burned and her muscles ached by the time she burst through Haymitch's door. Her eyes found him immediately, one arm lazily draped over the back of a kitchen chair, a tumbler of white liquor in the other hand.

"Quicker than I expected, Sweetheart. Figured out you're not going back alone?" He drawled.

"You. It has to be you," she wheezed, still catching her breath.

"So what are you asking me, Sweetheart?"

"Please, you have to...he can't go. Not him," she stumbled out.

"You want me to take his place?" He sneered. "I suppose that's fair, I've had a hell of a lot more years than either of you. But you see there's a flaw in your plan."

"No." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Oh, yes. It was easier for the boy. But then he was always quicker on the uptake. He's already begged me for another chance to go in. So eager to his exchange his life for yours."

"You can't let him!" She shouted.

"He can and he will," came a deep voice from the darkened stairwell. Katniss stared at Peeta as he crossed the room, a cardboard box full of glass liquor bottles in hand.

Haymitch's hand reached out and wrapped tightly around Peeta's wrist when he made a grab for the half-empty bottle on the table. Their eyes clashed hotly for a long moment until Haymitch finally capitulated with a grieved sigh.

"Fine. But I'll gut you if you don't let me finish this glass," he said, taking a gulp from the tumbler in his hand.

"What this?" Katniss asked, confused.

"The boy decided it's time I sober up," Haymitch replied.

"And you agreed," Peeta said as he made his way over to the sink, where he began emptying bottles one by one. "Tonight's announcement makes it clear that we're going back into the games. Two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor and one victor," he said with conviction.

"You can mentor. Haymitch and I can go into the arena…" she began but was interrupted when Peeta threw the bottle of white liquor in the sink, sending glass shards everywhere. The sound of glass shattering reverberated through the room like an explosion,

"No, Katniss. That's not how it's going to work. I can't promise you'll survive, but you can be damn sure I am going to try," he swore passionately, crossing the room to stand directly in front of her. "I am going to do everything in my power to bring you home."

Panic rose within her, "Peeta no!" She yelled. She looked to their mentor for help, but Haymitch just sat there with a pained expression on his face. It was going to be unbearable for him no matter how the tables turned.

She turned back to Peeta, "No Peeta," she spoke softly. "It's me Snow wants. There's no point risking both our lives if there's a way to guarantee one of us comes home."

He sighed. "You don't understand, Katniss. If you die, there's nothing to come home to." He turned from her abruptly and walked over to the telephone at the far end of the kitchen. Peeta picked up the receiver and dialed before continuing his work emptying the bottles. Katniss could barely make out the conversation with the person on the other end of the line.

She joined Haymitch at the table and they sat in stunned silence, unwilling to believe the events of the past hour.

Peeta's voice was controlled and commanding when it finally broke through the fog, "Effie's going to send me recordings of all the living victors. We're going to watch their games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start acting like Careers. And one of us is going to be the victor again whether you two like it or not!"

Katniss let out a resigned sigh. "Peeta, Snow wants me dead. There's no point…" He cut off her words with a frustrated growl. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up from her seat at the table. He dragged her into the living room before turning burning blue eyes on her.

"Don't you ever say there's no point in trying to keep you alive," he bellowed.

"That's not what I meant," she argued back, hot blood finally replacing the ice water that flowed through her veins since the Quell announcement,

"I refuse to offer you up like a lamb to the slaughter, Katniss!" He seethed.

"But yet it's all right for you to throw your life away with both hands!" She yelled back, narrowing her steely gray eyes into a deathly glare.

"It's different for me, you don't understand," he pleaded, frustratedly running his hands through his blond waves.

"You think I don't want to protect you? You think I don't care? You're not leaving me alone. If you die, I'll never go home, not really. I'll spend the rest of my life in that arena trying to think my way out."

Peeta stumbled backward, clearly affected by the weight of her words. A tender look crossed his face, he brought his hand up to stroke her cheek before pulling it back at the last minute. He blinked a few times before schooling his features into an impassive mask.

"Training begins tomorrow. At dawn," he announced, slamming the door on his way out.

Katniss heard the floorboard creak as Haymitch entered the living room. She kept her gaze on the door through which Peeta stormed out. "You and me. That's who he plans on coming home."

"Look, he's got a point. In the arena…" Haymitch began.

She turned on her mentor, "No! You chose me last time. Against all odds we both came back. If anyone deserves to survive the games twice, it's Peeta. Promise Haymitch. If it comes down to me or him, promise me you'll save him."

He scoffed before muttering,. "It probably won't even matter, They'll paint such a target on your backs—"

"Promise me!" She interrupted with a shout.

"All right, Sweetheart, all right," he said, putting his hands up in defeat.

She watched as Haymitch grabbed his glass off the table, sloshing the contents around before swallowing it down.

"Think you can do it?" She asked. "It didn't work out so well when Hazelle tried to sober you up."

"The stakes are a bit different this time, Sweetheart," he mused, putting the glass in the sink.

Katniss eyed the puddle of white liquor on the floor and the glass shards strewn about the kitchen. "You want help cleaning this up?" she asked.

"Oh, no. I think you've got a much bigger mess to attend to at home." Haymitch reasoned. "Leave me be, if you don't mind."

Katniss heard the shower as she made her way upstairs. She dressed for bed and anxiously waited for Peeta, hoping that she could dissuade him from going back into the games. The minutes stretched into hours as she waited but Peeta never joined her. She fell asleep with her hand on the pillow where his head should have rested, missing the husband she thought she never wanted.

She was startled awake before dawn by Peeta jostling her shoulder. He tossed gray sweats in her lap before jogging down the stairs, shouting at her to be ready in 10 minutes. Haymitch was sitting at the counter nursing a strong cup of black coffee when she walked into the kitchen, tying off the end of her braid. Peeta held a skillet in one hand and dished eggs onto their plates with the other. A hearty serving of eggs, bacon, fruit and toast sat on the plate before her. Peeta devoured his breakfast immediately, downing the delicious food between gulps of unsweetened tea. Katniss sipped on the orange juice before her, still trying to gather her bearings when Peeta spoke.

"I figure we'll start with a lap around the district. Then some calisthenics. We can work on strength and endurance training and hand-to-hand combat. I figure a healthy rotation of…"

"Whoa, whoa, hold your britches boy. My eyes are barely open," Haymitch snapped.

Peeta grabbed the pot of coffee and meaningfully poured the surly mentor another cup. "Then drink up. We've got a long day ahead of us."

Peeta led them outside after breakfast, guiding them through Victor's Village at a brisk pace until they reached the district's edge. "We'll start here, go around once and then double back." The district was blanketed in shades of gray, the first light of dawn barely breaking in the horizon. Katniss followed Peeta's trail, her eyes glued to his footfalls on the ground in front of her. He favored his left leg slightly, but kept a steady pace. She could hear Haymitch's labored breathing in the distance, but admired the grizzled mentor's tenacity. After all, it was all their lives on the line.

The sun was just over the horizon when they completed their route. Their panting breaths formed puffy clouds in the cool morning air. Haymitch ungracefully slumped against a large tree. Katniss swiped sweat from her forehead, gulping in air to catch her breath. Peeta tossed her a bottle of water from his pack of supplies before handing one to Haymitch. She felt Peeta's eyes on her as she took a long drink of the cool water, her throat rippling with each swallow. She held the bottle out to him and watched him in kind as he finished its contents.

Peeta filled their days with fitness and survival exercises. After long hours of working out, they poured over the tapes Effie sent them. He took meticulous notes on each victor, jotting down their strengths and weaknesses, how long they lasted, how many kills they had, what sponsor gifts they received. At times Katniss found herself paying closer attention to Peeta than the tapes. Watching him in Career mode was both frightening and marvelous. She never thought she'd see such ruthless calculation from Peeta, but at the same time she saw that he was a truly formidable opponent. An ally she was lucky to have on her side.

They developed a routine that continued over the next several weeks. The three victors would rise long before the sun and not stop until after it set. Each night Peeta would study the tapes long after the other two begged off. Katniss didn't know how much he slept, but whatever rest he got wasn't in their bed.

Peeta led them with a zealous intensity. Gone were the easy smiles of the boy she had come to know. In their place were hard stares and calculating gazes, measuring her strengths and weaknesses, finding where she was lacking. Katniss had never missed Peeta so much as the weeks before the reaping.

Mrs. Everdeen and Prim stepped in to teach them healing remedies; how to set bones and bind wounds, which herbs to treat what ailments.

"A lot of the herbs and spices you find in the kitchen have properties that prevent infection. If you can find garlic, ginger, thyme or cinnamon in the arena gather them," Mrs. Everdeen explained. "It won't heal anything like what happened to Peeta," she faltered, "but if treated quickly enough it can help."

Haymitch grabbed the bundle of herbs Mrs. Everdeen had placed before them. "And if it doesn't work, what a delicious way to die," he said, taking a whiff of the aromatics.

Katniss elbowed her mentor in the gut before grabbing the herbs and handing them back to her mother. "Ignore the town drunk and please continue."

"Well, I've noticed burns are another common injury in the games and you did well last year Katniss, but there are a few things to remember when treating them."

Her mother explained how to identify the varying degrees of burn and how to treat them without the Capitol medicine Katniss had been lucky enough to receive in the last games.

Even the Hawthornes, who stayed with the Everdeens since Gale fled to Thirteen, did their part to help Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch prepare. Peeta had won Posy over long ago, but the boys took a surprising liking to him as well, despite their older brother's feelings about the victor.

"The more snares you set, the greater your odds of success," Rory Hawthorne explained in an imperious tone. "Don't set your traps just anywhere though, that can be a waste of time. You have to read the terrain. See if you can spot signs of animal activity."

"This is the exact same speech Gale gave us, don't know why he's acting so high and mighty," Vick whispered in Peeta's ear. He chuckled before ruffling the younger boy's coal-black hair.

Rory huffed at the interruption but continued on, "Look for tracks, droppings, burrowing holes. Anything like that and set your snares up in that area."

"I'm pretty sure Katniss knows all this Rory," Vick whined.

"What if he and Katniss get separated, Vick?" He thoughtlessly snapped at his younger brother. The whole group sobered at the remark and Rory looked down apologetically.

Peeta cleared his throat, "Don't be sorry. You're right. We need to prepare for every eventuality. Now, what were you saying?"

Rory continued to explain the fine art of snare setting, though with much less bravado than when he began. He showed them a few basic snares before moving on to more complex ones. "They're not so fancy as the one's Gale could do, but I was still learning when he, ya know…" he explained at the end of the lesson.

Peeta wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders. "You've been a tremendous help, Rory. Really."

"He's right, I even learned some new tricks," Katniss chimed in. The boy brightened at the praise, heartened that he could help.

He ran inside when Hazelle called him to wash up for dinner, leaving Katniss and Peeta alone for the first time since the training began. It stung that Peeta was so blatantly avoiding her. She tentatively reached down to grab his hand but he turned away to pack up the snare supplies before she made contact. Flushed with hurt and embarrassment, Katniss made her way up the front steps of her mother's house to join everyone for the evening meal, the screen door clanging forcefully in her wake.

Each victor offered up what they could in the way of skills. Katniss didn't have her bow and arrows but they found some lean branches with give and she gave her best approximation of the proper technique. It was all theoretical, but Katniss hoped — as she stood behind Peeta, adjusting his stance and shoulders, lifting his right hand up to his lips in mimic of a perfect shot — if they found themselves with a bow in their hands it might be enough to save their lives.

They'd long known Haymitch had a fondness for knives, given that he usually kept one within arm's reach. However, Katniss and Peeta were still surprised at their mentor's deadly accuracy in knife throwing. He educated them on the finer points; how and where to balance the handle and blade to strike the target. Katniss adapted somewhat easily, her archery skills converting passably. But Peeta struggled, despite his skills with a blade otherwise.

The sobriety and long, grueling hours training wore on Haymitch. He finally snapped one particularly rough day, after Peeta failed to stick more than a dozen knives. He sneered as the last blade bounced off the battered tree trunk they used for practice and landed with a clang on top of the other failed attempts. "Are you trying to get her killed?" He shouted, pointing at Katniss. "You begged me to let you go back in, to be the hero. Well I'm trying to help you." He leaned down to pick up another knife, roughly pressing the flat side of the blade into Peeta's chest. He grabbed Katniss by the forearm and pushed her back against the tree. "Throw the blade, hit the damn target. Don't kill or maim the girl."

Peeta gulped, his eyes darting back and forth between Haymitch and the target just above Katniss' head. "You can't be serious."

"What? You wanted to train like Careers. This is what Careers do. They manipulate the situation, manipulate your feelings. Think of it as an exercise in deadly accuracy. You're accurate or Sweetheart's dead."

Katniss licked her lips. "I know you can do it, Peeta. I trust you. Just focus," she gently encouraged. Peeta eyes were burning with intensity when he turned to look at her. He nodded once, took a deep breath and released the knife. It was still vibrating back and forth when Katniss opened her eyes. She stood back to find that it had stuck mere inches above her head.

Peeta let out a loud exhale as Haymitch forcefully clapped him on the back, whispering in his ear, "Good work, boy. Do that when it counts and you may just save her yet."

Later that night, Katniss awoke to the sound of a thud coming from the spare bedroom. She ran down the hall and found Peeta tangled in sheets on the floor, in the fit of a nightmare unlike anything she had ever seen from him.

"Peeta," she called gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flipped Katniss on her back with lightning speed, his hand closing around her throat. "Peeta," she choked, clutching at his forearm, scrabbling to pry his fingers from around her neck. "Peeta, stop! It's me, Katniss."

He released his grip just as her vision started to blur. The rigid tension of his body gave way and he collapsed on top of her in exhaustion, his large body covering hers completely. She brushed his curls back from his sweaty forehead, forcing his blue eyes to meet her gray. They took in gulps of air trying to catch their breath.

"What happened? Where were you?" Katniss asked, her voice hoarse.

Tears threatened to spill over Peeta's remorseful eyes as he carefully dragged his fingers over the delicate skin of her neck, where bruises were sure to form. "The arena. It was Clove, throwing a knife at your back. Only this time it stuck," he said, slamming his eyes shut.

She continued to run her hands through his hair soothingly. "Is that...is that why you didn't like knife throwing?" She queried.

He scoffed. "I don't think I'd like it either way, Katniss."

"I didn't know that you saw that, at the Cornucopia," she spoke softly.

"I always had an eye on you," he replied quietly.

Katniss wrapped her arms around Peeta's shoulders slowly bringing his body in closer, trying to capture the warmth that had been missing between them ever since the Quell announcement. Their faces were inches apart when Peeta suddenly pulled back. He rolled off of Katniss and jumped to his feet.

"It's almost dawn, we should get started. I think," he said, looking at her throat, "it's time to practice hand-to-hand combat."

Peeta led them in hours of hand-to-hand combat training. With his strength and skills as a wrestler he was a natural. Haymitch was clever and crafty but Peeta was always able to outmaneuver the older mentor. Katniss wasn't much competition for Peeta with her slight build so his advice centered on escaping or disabling her opponent so she could avoid as much contact as possible.

"Make yourself as small a target as possible. Make me spend energy trying to get to you. You're quick and light, use it to your advantage," he coached as he circled her. But Katniss didn't react quickly enough to his attack and found herself on the ground time and again, Peeta's solid weight on top of her. Each time she flushed at the warmth radiating through her body where they touched.

A storm rolled in the day before the reaping and still Peeta demanded they train. The rain soaked earth was slick beneath their feet and as they ran through the district Kaniss stumbled in the mud. Cold, weary and hopeless she laid there motionless. She would be reaped tomorrow, this much was certain and one of the men at her side would go with her into the abyss.

Peeta would not let her accept defeat. "Get up Katniss."

"No," she replied defiantly. The mud soaked clothes clung to her skin, but Katniss was beyond caring.

"Katniss come on..." he chided impatiently. She watched rivulets of water run down his face as he loomed over her.

"No Peeta. I'm not running another meter let alone another mile."

He kneeled in the mud beside her, his face inches from hers. "You're just going to give up? The reaping is tomorrow! We have to prepare," he yelled.

"Prepare for what?" She shouted, reaching her breaking point. "No matter what we do it's going to be hell. If we don't have the skills to survive at this point we won't have them after a few more hours of calisthenics," she snarked.

"Don't think like that. We have to keep training," he argued.

"I'm done dammit!" She said, flinging her arms out to her sides, sending flecks of mud flying.

"Fine!" Peeta bellowed. He stalked off, his shoulders shaking with rage. The past few weeks had made them all nearly unrecognizable. Peeta had dug into a reserve of brutish strength and militarism that she hated. This was  _not_ how she wanted to spend her last day in Twelve.

Haymitch just stood there, mud on his face, looking at her like she was an idiot. And she was, she really was.

Katniss rose from the muddy ground and ran to Victor's Village. She crashed through their front door and found Peeta leaning against the fireplace mantle, his head in his hands. The scars on his back were visible through the white cotton material of his wet shirt, which clung to the strained, tense muscles of shoulders and arms. Katniss slowly approached him. She didn't speak for a long moment, just watched the water drip from the end of his curls to the floor.

"This isn't how I want to spend my last day in Twelve," she spoke softly.

He slammed his eyes shut. "It's not going to be your last day in Twelve. I swear it," he said, his husky voice washing over her.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" He scrubbed his face in frustration. "Just for once in your life can you say what you mean?"

She swallowed. "I want to spend what may be my last day in Twelve with you. With Peeta. Not with Peeta the Career, or Peeta the trainer. Just Peeta Mellark...my husband."

Peeta's lips crashed onto hers before she could draw her next breath. His hand tangled in her hair as he tilted her head back deepening the kiss. Desperate, desirous, she clung to Peeta.

Her back hit the wall forcefully. Exhilarated, her body greedily accepted Peeta's warmth and weight. She bit down on his lower lip and he shivered as her hands moved up the hard planes of his back to tangle in his wet hair.

Their hearts beat in time with the pounding rain. Peeta trailed his lips down Katniss' throat, licking at the raindrops still clinging to her soft skin.

"Mmmph," she moaned, arching against him, abandoning all her pretenses and fears. Together they stumbled to the stairwell, climbing a few steps before landing in a graceless tangle. Katniss released her hair from the confines of its braid, blanketing them in a halo of dark silk as she hovered over Peeta, placing kisses across his cheek, down his jawline, tonguing the sensitive hollow of his throat.

Peeta sighed, wrapping his hands around Katniss' waist and reversing their position until she was underneath him, her legs wrapped around him. He brought his hungry lips back to hers for a plundering kiss, not relenting until their lungs burned from lack of air.

With shaky hands Katniss clutched the hem of Peeta's sodden shirt and lifted it over his head, tossing it over the railing to land with a plop on the floor below. She trailed her fingers over the damp skin of his chest, carding through the light smattering of blond hair across his pecs before trailing her fingernail over the dusky rose flesh of his nipple.

Peeta closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, overwhelmed by the feel of Katniss' hands on his body. In retaliation, he buried his face in her neck and nipped at the tender flesh.

Katniss grasped Peeta's hands and placed them at the strip of skin exposed by her sweater, silently begging him to rid her of it, desperate to feel his skin against hers. He complied, trailing his warm fingers over her slim waist, slowly raising the sweater, kissing each new inch of exposed flesh. She squirmed, delighting in the feel of his lips on her body.

Katniss sat up as he finally pulled the top over her head. She leaned in and took his lips in another fervent kiss before rising to her feet, shooting Peeta a grin before running up the stairs. He followed quickly behind, catching her and pinning her against the closed bedroom door. He sighed at the feel of her warm skin against his. His trembling hands fumbled with the hooks of her bra but the garment eventually joined their other clothes on the floor.

"Peeta," she keened as his hands cupped her tender breasts. He rubbed the impudent nipples between his thumb and forefinger, sending a flood of emotions coursing through her.

He roughly exhaled against her chest and he lifted her into the air, her legs wrapping around him. Katniss captured his lips in a bruising kiss as her hand scrambled for the door knob, moaning joyfully when it finally opened.

They landed in a heap of tangled limbs on the bed, uncaring of the mud that still clung to their clothes. She felt hazy with need, overwhelmed by the desire for Peeta to touch her, taste her, be inside her.

Blood roared in Peeta's ears when Katniss eagerly palmed him over his clothes. His hips jerked against her hands, his painfully hard member straining at attention. He crushed her body into the mattress, reverently kissing her top to bottom, eager to explore and taste her. He trailed his tongue across the delicate shell of her ear, over her collarbone. He tasted first one nipple and then the other, sucking it into his mouth before taking it between his teeth and lashing it back and forth with his tongue.

Katniss cried out incoherently, her hips arching against his. She moved against him, seeking delicious friction. His kisses trailed lower, his tongue mapping each of her ribs before dipping into her navel. Katniss sucked in a breath as his hands gripped her hips, tugging off her sweats and underclothes, laying her bare.

Blue fire flashed in his eyes as he took in her naked body, in awe of Katniss' beauty, overwhelmed by her surrender. Katniss clutched the bedsheets in her hands at the feel of Peeta's hot breath over her skin. He placed soft, delicate kisses along her inner thigh, up one side and down the other before delving his tongue into her molten wet core.

Her hips lifted up off the bed and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as Peeta worked her with his mouth. Katniss felt adrift on an ocean of bliss until she felt Peeta's fingers entwine with hers, anchoring her to him. Her body tightened like a coil ready to spring, she looked down to find Peeta watching her intently. His blue eyes devoured her and Katniss — overwhelmed by the love and trust and devotion she saw there — came apart beneath him.

She cried out his name as euphoria wracked her body. She let out a breathy, giddy laugh as she clutched at his golden hair. She pulled him up the length of her body and crashed her lips to his as tremors of pleasure still pulsed through her body.

Katniss pressed her hands against his chest until Peeta rolled onto his back. She fumbled with the drawstring on his sweats before grabbing the waistband and hurriedly undressing him.

Peeta sucked in a breath when she took him in her hand, swirling the bead of wetness around the tip. He sat up quickly and her brow furrowed in displeasure when he roughly grabbed her wrist and stopped her ministrations.

"Too much," he panted, resting his forehead against her collarbone. "I don't want this to be over yet," he rasped in her ear.

"Me neither," she said, shuddering at the feel of his hot breath against her sensitive skin.

He pecked her lips sweetly as he rolled them over. Peeta grabbed a lock of her dark hair, which had fanned out across the pillow. He rubbed the silken strands against his lips. He then trailed the soft ends of hair across her face like one of his paint brushes. He traced over her brow bone, down the slope of her nose, caressing her top lip and then the bottom before letting the tresses drop back into place.

Katniss leaned up to mark the same trail across his face with her lips. When their mouths met in a searing kiss it fanned the flames between them. Once again and all too soon Katniss felt like her body was burning up. She wrapped her legs around Peeta's lean hips, her heels digging into his back, trying to find some pressure to alleviate the ache within her.

"Katniss," Peeta whispered, drawing his eyes to hers. They were so full of tenderness as he spoke, "It'll hurt, Katniss." He licked his lips. "We can stop now if you don't want this-"

She cut him off with his a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her hips against his. "I want this Peeta. I want you."

He graced her with a sweetly shy smile brimming with love before taking himself in hand and aligning their bodies. Tears pricked at her eyes when he entered her, the intrusion welcome but painful. She felt every inch of his body brush against hers as he entered her in a long, slow, careful stroke.  _He's so gentle_ , Katniss thought, as his soft lips grazed her breastbone. Katniss bit her lip and sucked in deep, careful breaths at Peeta's first tentative thrusts but his even pace faltered when Katniss raised her hips up to meet his, urging him deeper inside her. He let out a low moan, overwhelmed by the tight, wet, warm perfection of her body.

Katniss still felt twinges of pain mixed with stirrings of pleasure. She gasped when Peeta wrapped splayed his palm out over her tailbone and lifted her hips, plunging deeper still.

His breathing was ragged when he whispered against her skin, "You feel so good. I never...I never thought I'd get to have you…" He moaned as he rocked against her.

"You have me, Peeta," she whispered, her voice smooth like velvet in his ear. "I'm yours. Always yours."

Peeta sat up and pulled her into his lap as he neared the edge, desperately needing her closer. Katniss moaned as he thrust up into her, filling her completely.

She didn't join Peeta when he fell over the edge into blissful completion, but it was a marvel to watch the beautiful, rapturous look that came over his face. They collapsed into a heap of sweaty limbs as Peeta pulsed inside her, kissing her sweetly when he finally withdrew.

He trailed kisses across her face and shoulders before knotting their fingers and dragging a still breathless Katniss from bed. He walked them into the bathroom and ran a steaming hot shower. He pulled Katniss into the stall by the hips, unwilling or unable to stop touching her body.

"Did I hurt you?" He whispered in her ear as he ran his fingers through her hair, working shampoo through the long, dark locks.

"No," Katniss said as she turned to face him. She took his face in her hands and forced his eyes to meet hers. "No Peeta. There was pain, but  _you_ didn't hurt me. You were so gentle with me, so good to me." She rose up on her toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

The hot shower washed away the sweat and lingering traces of mud, relaxing Katniss until she was a muddled mass of loose limbs. Peeta dried them with a fluffy white towel, which he carelessly dropped to the floor. He carried her to the guest bedroom, their sensitive bare skin brushing with each step. He laid her down in the soft, clean cotton sheets and wrapped his body around hers. She clasped his hands tightly in her hers, placing tender kisses on each of his knuckles.

Katniss was hazy, falling into a contented sleep, when she heard Peeta's whispered confession.

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you."

She waited until she felt the deep, even rise and fall of his chest that indicated sleep before crawling out of bed. She dressed quickly and quietly, grabbing her boots and her father's hunting jacket before slipping out of the house into the night.

The baker rose his brows when she arrived on his doorstep at such a late hour asking for such a specific loaf of bread — the kind with nuts and berries — that he couldn't help but ask what she needed it for.

A wide grin split his face when she replied, "Making toast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for your continued support for this story. It is truly humbling. Special thanks to my soul sister Stacylk for pre-reading! Thank you for reading, please comment! Also, I can be found at tumblr under the url optimus-pam.


	16. Chapter 16

Katniss turned the lock on the front door and leaned down to remove her boots when Peeta spoke.

"I woke up and you were gone. I thought you...I don't know what I thought." He ran a shaky hand through his hair and Katniss quickly crossed the distance between them. She knelt in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers. The only light in the room was a fire flickering in the hearth, but Katniss could still see the haunted look in his blue eyes and the dark circles smudging the skin underneath.

"Peeta," she breathed, caressing the planes of his face from his furrowed brow down to the strong, angular line of his jaw. Her heart ached as she remembered his confession all those months ago.  _My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here._

He wrapped his hands around hers, curling their fingers together before placing tender kisses on her knuckles. He rested his forehead on their clasped hands before finally asking, "Where did you go?"

Katniss didn't answer. She stood up and, pulling Peeta along with her, made her way to the fireplace. She studied him in the soft, orange glow of the firelight. Gathering all her courage, she reached for her game bag. "I had an errand to run," she said as she set the fresh loaf on the hearth between them. "You can't have a toasting without bread."

She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "A toasting?" Peeta asked on a breathless whisper, as if the air had been stolen from his lungs.

"A toasting," she said, fighting back sudden tears. "I-I never...I never wanted this. I never thought I'd want this. Not with Gale, not with anyone. It seemed hopeless and impossible. And not just because the Games. I saw what love like that did to my mother. She lost my father and she lost herself. I thought she was so weak. I thought that love made you weak. But I was wrong."

"Katniss…" he said, brushing tears from her cheek.

"I know people think it's an act, that I didn't have a choice. And I didn't — we didn't — for so much of it. But I'm choosing this. I want this, Peeta. I hated these past few weeks. You were so cold and so distant and I missed you so damn much," she sobbed, turning her head to catch his lips in a wet kiss.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into the skin of her neck. "I thought I was protecting you. I thought it would be easier if I stayed away."

"It was a dumb, stupid, idiotic idea. The worst-" she raged until Peeta cut her off with another kiss.

"But this," he said against her lips "is a very good idea." He grabbed the bread filled with nuts and berries and tore off a piece for Katniss and another for himself.

"Together?" She asked.

"Together," he replied, tugging affectionately on her braid.

They reached their hands forward and watched the dancing flames lick at the hearty chunks of bread until they were golden brown and maybe even slightly burned.

It was a startlingly intimate moment, offering the bread and by extension herself. Every sensation was indelibly etched in her mind; the feel of Peeta's hand as it grazed her chin, the warmth of the bread against her lips, the grainy texture of the crumbs on her tongue. She could feel Peeta's jaw work under her hand as he chewed his bite reverently, his eyes never leaving hers.

A feeling of warmth overwhelmed her, warmth from the fire in the hearth beside them and warmth from the burning look in Peeta's eyes. A look that was reflected in her own.

Their lips met in a searing kiss and Katniss could taste the faint tang of the berries on Peeta's tongue, could still feel crumbs at the corners of his mouth. She pulled back slightly, licking them away before licking her way into his mouth. Peeta crushed Katniss to his chest, immediately deepening the kiss. Her head swam, a wave of dizzying desire crashing over her. He rolled them until she was flat on her back on the floor before the fireplace.

Words began to tumble from Katniss' mouth as Peeta kissed his way down her throat, her body quivering with each press of his lips against her sensitive skin. She wasn't singing, not really, but Peeta looked up when he recognized the tune. His glassy eyes burned with emotion as the familiar words washed over them.  _"Love; it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free. Be more like the one you were made to be. There is a design, an alignment to cry of my heart to see..."_

" _The beauty of love as it was made to be…"_ Peeta whispered against her lips, finishing the verse of the toasting song.

Tears slipped from her eyes as the last notes of the song washed over her. She'd never given much credence to the words, though she'd sung them dozens of times over the years. All the Seam weddings she'd ever attended floated to the surface of her memory. Trudging through gray snow, the spring thaw barely underway. Standing outside a small, newly assigned home barely more than a shack. Prim smiling widely at her side; always so hopeful for the bride and groom. Katniss had judged them, doubted them, proclaimed them fools even as she watched them exchange bits of charred bread, even as she sang the words of a song meant to bless them. Only now, she understood.

Love. Peeta's love. It saved her. It saved her when she was 11. It saved her in the arena. It was saving her now, on the eve of the quell reaping. She should be angry and terrified and a million other things, but love, her love for Peeta and his love for her blotted them out. Like the sun erasing a shadow. Like a dandelion in the spring.

Katniss cupped his cheeks in her hands and held him in place as she kissed the delicate skin of his eyelids, slowly tracing the line of his jaw before burying her face in the juncture of his neck and shoulder. She took a deep, shaking breath, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling more safe and warm than she ever thought possible.

With shaking hands she lifted the hem of his sweatshirt over head his and cast it aside. She caught her breath as his pale skin glowed golden in the firelight. Aching to touch him, she trailed her fingers along the planes his abdominal muscles, clenching and straining under her touch. She smoothed her hands over his broad shoulders to his back, where she delicately traced the faint lines of his whipping scars. For once, there was no room for guilt as she touched the marred flesh. Her heart and mind and body were overwhelmed by the feelings Peeta was stirring within her. Desire. Pleasure. Love.

Katniss felt his hands fumble at the front of her shirt, his fingertips just barely grazing her skin as he released each button, and it amazed her that they should feel more nervous now than the first time. But her thoughts were quickly erased by the path of fire sparked by Peeta's touch, threatening to consume her. He gently worked the shirt and jacket off her shoulders before rolling them up into a ball and placing the bundled fabric beneath Katniss' head in a makeshift pillow. "Thank you," she whispered against his lips.

He hummed in reply, deepening the kiss, his tongue sparring and dancing with hers. He wrapped his hands around her waist, splaying his fingers low on her back along the curve of her spine, urging her hips to meet his in a steady rhythm. His lips trailed reverent kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. He caught the strap of her bra between his teeth and dragged it down her shoulder. His warm lips trailed across the tops of her breasts, where he repeated the action on her other side. Katniss arched into him, her body rising off the floor a few inches, just enough for Peeta's hands to reach behind her and unclasp the hook and eyes at her back.

Mesmerized, Peeta watched the light flicker and dance across her exposed flesh. Her skin shone like burnished bronze as he traced his fingers through a light sheen of sweat around her navel. Breathless with anticipation, her chest heaved as she took in gulps of air and Peeta's eyes were immediately drawn to the dusky rose nipples crowning her breasts.

Katniss cried out as he captured her breast in his mouth, heat and electricity coursing through her body. His tongue laved the darkened flesh and he shuddered, feeling the firm ridges against the roof of his mouth.

"Peeta, Peeta, Peeta," she breathed into his hair, grabbing a fistful of the blond waves and clutching him to her chest. She was certain he could feel her pounding heart.

"Kat-niss," he moaned against her soft, slick skin as he turned his attentions to her other breast. His strong, clever fingers moulded and kneaded her tender flesh before trailing down her body.

Impatient, her hands joined his and together they undressed her, taking deep breaths as they worked down each tooth of the zipper. Peeta rubbed circles into the delicate skin above her hip bones before tugging the fabric down her shapely legs. He shot Katniss a wicked grin as he laid her bare, tracing his fingers up along her calves as he moved between her legs.

She took his lips in a searing kiss as his hips rocked into hers. Their tongues battled for dominance, pulling a deep moan from Katniss as Peeta's clever tongue claimed victory. She closed her eyes as waves of heat and pleasure overwhelmed her. She felt as if her body and heart were about to burst from so much sensation.

Slowly, reverently, she trailed her hands down the length of his strong body. His breath hitched with anticipation as she slipped her hand beneath the waistband of his sleep clothes. Her lips split in a smile when she felt him, hot, hard and heavy against her palm.

Peeta's eyes slammed shut and he sucked in a sharp breath, the sensual rhythm of his hips against hers faltering momentarily. He moaned low in his throat when she released him, eagerly stripping him of the last of his clothes. She trailed her fingers along the firm muscles of his thighs but Peeta caught her hands between his, stopping her before she could continue her exploration. "I don't mind…" she whispered softly, assuring.

"I do," he mumbled into the delicate skin of her wrist.

She untangled her hands from his and gently touched the skin of his left thigh. Peeta sucked in a breath and Katniss could see his shoulders tense. "It's not like you to be self-conscious."

"It's not that," he said, scrubbing his hands over his face. "It's not about aesthetics. I don't care what it looks like," he paused. "It's a piece of the Capitol and it will always be a part of me but I don't want the Capitol touching you, in any way. Especially not like this. Does that make sense?" He said, his voice strangled.

"It's machinery, Peeta," she spoke earnestly, her fingers faintly trailing over the prosthetic. "That's all. The Capitol hasn't tainted you," she said, placing a delicate kiss to the juncture where metal and plastic met warm flesh.

"Hasn't it?" He challenged, turning his face away from the flames, away from her.

She sat up until they were chest to chest and grabbed Peeta's face in her hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "I killed people. I lied to you. I asked you to pretend. I made you suffer. And...somehow...you still love me," she paused, searching for words. "You once told me you'd been a goner ever since you heard me sing. Well, don't you see Peeta?" She asked, cupping his hand to her cheek, placing a delicate kiss to his palm. "I'm a goner too. I love all of you. And this," she said, massaging the tender skin at the seam of his prosthetic, "is only a part of you."

"Goner?" he mumbled, biting at her bottom lip before catching her mouth in a plundering kiss.

"Goner," she replied breathlessly, trailing kisses down his neck, tonguing at the hollow of his throat. Katniss wound her arms about his neck, pulling them to the ground. She wrapped her legs around his hips and rolled until Peeta laid flat beneath her. She trailed her hands up his arms, arms that had always been her shelter, until they stretched above his head. She took in a deep breath, intent to speak the words hanging on the tip of her tongue. So many confessions, so many truths had been laid bare tonight. But if it was really their last night in District Twelve, he had to know, he had a right to know everything in her heart. "This would have happened anyway," she breathed against the shell of his ear.

She pulled back to look at him, his brow furrowed in silent question. Katniss kissed away the worry lines, a small smile gracing her features. "This," she said, clasping his hand tightly in hers, interlacing their fingers. "Us. We would have happened anyway." She tenderly kissed his knuckles. "I need you, Peeta. Even without the Games, I would have needed you. Your brightness, your hope. Your love."

Peeta brought his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her in for a scorching kiss. "You have it all, Katniss. You can have everything." She saw in his eyes that he meant it. His love, his life, he would gladly give it all to her. He meant to give it all  _for_ her. But she wouldn't be selfish, she would give him everything in return.

She sat back on her heels and brought his hand to her chest, over her racing heart. "It's yours, Peeta. My heart. It's all yours. Maybe it has been...always," she smiled tenderly.

"Always," he whispered, in awe of her confession.

Katniss moaned when the fingers laid flat against her chest curled, moving to cup her breast. She pressed her chest against Peeta's until he was once again pinned beneath her. She swept her hands over the muscled expanse of his chest, causing goose-flesh to erupt in her wake. She smoothed the skin with her hot breath, exhaling intently over each patch of roughened flesh. Peeta's chest rose and fell rapidly as she continued her exploration. Her fingers tingled at the feel of him, quaking beneath her touch.

Desperate and aching with hunger of a very different kind, she gently took his nipple in her mouth, eager to see if it ignited the same fire in him as it did her. Her eyes were glued to him as he sucked in a breath, biting down hard on his lower lip.

Agonizingly slow, Katniss continued to trail kisses down his body, tasting each bit of exposed skin. She dipped her tongue into his navel as her hand traced the lines of his hips, carding her fingers through the hair that was so much darker than the rest of his body. She smoothed her hand over his clenched stomach muscles before taking him in her hand. Peeta shuddered at her touch, his breathing shallow and erratic. A flush crept up his neck, coloring his cheeks as she stroked him. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, full and rosy and thoroughly kissed. The sheen of sweat on his face and body glistened in the firelight. He threw his head back and Katniss throbbed with desire at the sight of Peeta on the brink of ecstasy.

He pulled her hand away as he rolled them over until Katniss was stretched out beneath him, his lips claiming hers in a fiery kiss. She was breathless as Peeta's hands and lips reverently and fervently explored every inch of her.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against her breastbone.

Her laughter filled the quiet space between them when he tickled the bottoms of her feet. She playfully tried to kick his hands away when they suddenly wrapped around her ankles. Ever so slowly, he parted her legs until she was spread wide before him. Katniss sucked in a shaky breath as his eyes devoured her. Peeta smoothed his palms along the silky skin of her legs before stopping at the juncture between her thighs. Katniss closed her eyes as she felt his fingertips brush against her in the lightest, most gentle touch. Peeta sighed into her neck as he caressed her slick, wet heat. His touch was maddening and exhilarating and Katniss cradled his hips between hers, pleading for more.

"Peeta please," she cried out as his fingers continued to work her.

Katniss grasped a handful of his hair and pulled him to her, claiming his mouth in a possessive kiss, sweeping her tongue over his teeth before plundering further. She broke the kiss when their lungs burned from lack of air. She trailed her lips down the column of his throat, licking at the beads of sweat. Her hands roamed his body, splaying her hands over shoulders before sinking into the firm flesh of his backside, pulling him to her, aligning his hips with hers.

Peeta moaned as he thrust his hips forward, entering her in a slow, careful stroke. Katniss felt a faint echo of the pain from before, but it subsided as Peeta moved against her. Her body attuned to his slow, even pace, her hips meeting his with each thrust. Her legs closed around him, pulling him in tighter. Her arms clutched at his shoulders, wanting him impossibly closer, wanting to keep him safe from every harm.

Katniss cried out when he lifted her hips higher, thrusting faster and harder, hitting some secret place inside her, reducing her to a gasping, quivering mess.

Peeta felt Katniss tighten around him, could feel that she was close. He dropped his hand between their bodies, carefully stroking her, intent on finding her release. His name spilled from her lips when a tidal wave of pleasure ripped through her. He followed soon after, his hips faltering as a powerful shudder tore through him. "Katniss," he gasped, her name falling from his lips in breathless ecstasy.

After, Katniss felt boneless and sated, but she could feel Peeta trembling in her arms. She clutched him tighter to her chest, placing tender kisses to his forehead as he caught his breath.

Sometime later Peeta wrapped them up in the blanket from the sofa. Her eyes fluttered sleepily as she curled into his chest, snuggling in the warmth of his embrace. His hands brushed the loose strands of her hair back from her face until she fell asleep.

* * *

Katniss woke slowly the next morning, clinging to bits and pieces of her dream. She could still hear the faint call of a mockingjay's song in the woods. She peeked an eye open, surprised to see the sun already creeping above the horizon.

"Morning sunshine," Haymitch drawled from his seat on the sofa, a steaming hot cup of coffee raised to his lips. "Sleep well, did ya?"

Katniss scowled, clutching the blanket tightly to her chest before nudging Peeta. The sweet, dreamy smile on his face fell when he spotted their mentor. He quickly scrambled for his shirt, which he used to cover Katniss while shooting Haymitch an icy glare.

"Keep this up in the arena and you two could break Finnick Odair's record for sponsor gifts," he remarked sarcastically.

Katniss groaned, dropping her head into the palms of hands. "Can you give us some privacy?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?" Haymitch asked on his way to the kitchen. "Effie and the prep teams will be knocking on your door in about four minutes. You might want to run upstairs and get dressed. Wouldn't want to offend Trinket's delicate sensibilities."

Exactly four minutes later Katniss and Peeta dressed and made their way downstairs, the sound of insistent knocking at the door. Peeta smiled as Effie entered, the prep teams following close behind. Her hair was a bright new shade of gold, at odds with her uncharacteristically somber demeanor.

"Well," she said, "we have a big, big day ahead of us so let's not dilly dally." The house erupted into a flurry of activity as Peeta and Katniss were ordered about by their prep teams.

If Flavius, Venia or Octavia noticed the faint fingerprint-shaped bruises on her hips, they were kind enough not to say anything. And Katniss acted none the wiser when Flavius applied extra cover up to the love bites at the base of her throat. They dressed her in a simple denim jumper and a sturdy pair of work boots. It was perhaps the singularly most plain outfit they'd ever given her.

"Cinna's orders," Venia explained. "He said today wasn't an occasion to dress up for." Katniss' lips quirked up in a small smile at her stylist's wisdom.

Later, she trudged downstairs surprised to find Haymitch groomed and ready to go. "Where's Peeta?" She asked, looking around.

"Last minute adjustments. Apparently their measurements were off. Seems all that training did the boy some good."

"You too. The paunch looks smaller," she said, elbowing his gut.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, walking away from her and toward the fireplace. "So," he said meaningfully, toeing the bread still sitting on the hearth with his boot. "Midnight snack?"

Katniss crossed her arms, trying to appear nonchalant. "Got hungry, made some toast."

"I bet you two had quite the appetite," Haymitch remarked, taking another sip from his coffee. Though he wore a serious expression when he turned to face Katniss. "It's not a game this time, is it Sweetheart?"

"I don't think it ever was," she murmured in reply.

"Finally saw the light, eh? Let's just hope it's not too little too late," he said, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

Katniss covered his hand with hers, willing his Seam gray eyes to meet hers. "Promise me you'll keep Peeta alive," she demanded in a low voice.

"Sweetheart..." he sighed.

"No," she said, resolute. "Save Peeta, not me."

"I promise I'll try. It's the games, Katniss. That's the best I can do."

She continued to stare beseechingly at Haymitch — silently begging him to grant her dying wish — when Peeta and Effie entered the room. Katniss saw that, true to form, Peeta was dressed similarly to her. A denim shirt, almost like a painter's smock, clung to his muscled frame.

They barely had a moment to catch their breath before Effie led them out the door. A dozen peacekeepers waited outside the gates of Victors' Village, their white armor gleaming in the sun as they escorted them through town.

Katniss shared a look with her mother and Prim when she spotted them at the front of the crowd. She, Peeta and Haymitch were led up to the stage as Effie began the ceremony, her normally effusive demeanor greatly subdued.

"Welcome, welcome. As we celebrate the 75th anniversary and the third Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games. As always, ladies first." Effie's face bore a pained and pitying expression as her hand clawed around the reaping bowl before finally clasping the single piece of paper.

"The female tribute from District 12: Katniss Everdeen."

A tear trailed down Katniss' face as she stepped forward, mumbling to Effie.

"I'm sorry dear, I didn't catch that," she whispered.

Katniss removed Effie's hand from where it covered the microphone, speaking intently into the device.

"Mellark, it's Katniss Mellark."

An indefinable shift went through the crowd at Katniss' statement. Thread nodded his head and the peacekeepers cocked their guns in response to the growing tension. Effie barely contained a sob before continuing with the proceedings.

"And now for the men…"

Katniss shared a look with Haymitch and the older mentor nodded his head intently. Effie plucked a piece of paper before returning to the microphone.

"The male tribute from District 12: Haymitch Abernathy," Effie nearly sighed with relief. But the last syllable was barely uttered before Peeta spoke up.

"I volunteer as tribute," he said, his jaw set in a determined line.

Haymitch grabbed his arm but Peeta shook him off, moving to stand beside Effie. Katniss slammed her eyes shut as raw pain ripped through her, stealing her breath. She thought she was ready, all those months of training, always knowing it was possible Peeta might be the one to go back into the arena with her. But nothing could truly prepare for the outrage and terror and devastatingly acute heartache she felt in that moment. The inevitably of her fate hadn't numbed her to its pain.

"Very well, the tributes from District 12: Katniss and Peeta Mellark."

Effie gasped and Katniss opened her eyes to see almost every member of the crowd touch the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and hold it out, bidding her and Peeta a heartfelt goodbye.

Thread grabbed Katniss from behind while her hand was still in the air to return the gesture, she could see peacekeepers take hold of Peeta and Haymitch as well. She turned her head, fighting desperately, looking for Prim in the crowd. Just as she opened her mouth to scream her sister's name, an explosion rocked the district. The Justice Building shook from the force of the blow, knocking everyone to their feet. Katniss kicked and clawed away from Thread as quickly as she could. She ran through the Justice Building doors to find chaos had erupted as peacekeepers scrambled to control the people of Twelve.

Plumes of smoke rose from the bombed out debris of the train station at the district's edge. Katniss ran down the stairs, trying to find Prim when another explosion boomed, bringing the district to its knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Everlark feels were strong after seeing Mockingjay and listening to "The Hanging Tree" nonstop. Special thanks to my soul sister Stacylk for pre-reading! And thanks to everyone for your continued support of this story. As always, thank you for reading, please comment! Also, I can be found at Tumblr, username: optimus-pam.


	17. Chapter 17

Katniss's heart pounded furiously as terror gripped her. "Prim!" She screamed. Smoke burned her eyes and she blinked back tears, trying to focus her vision, trying to find her sister.

"Katniss!" Peeta called her name as he ran down the steps of the Justice Building, blood running from his split lip.

"Prim," she choked out, the smoke filling her lungs.

"We'll find her," he assured. "Check the square, I'll head toward the Seam."

Shouts and screams filled the smoky air as District 12 residents fled the square. Gunfire sounded distantly, setting off a new wave of panic. In the chaos, Katniss was knocked to the ground and nearly trampled until a pair of strong arms wrapped protectively around her torso, dragging her away.

Her eyes landed on a gray uniform, protective like a peacekeeper's yet wholly unfamiliar. But Katniss would know the Seam gray eyes staring back at her through the helmet visor anywhere.

"Gale?" She asked, disbelieving.

A static noise sounded from a communication device on his wrist. "Soldier Hawthorne, do you have the Mockingjay?"

"Affirmative," he replied, his eyes never wavering from hers.

"What — what's going on?" She asked.

He didn't answer. He grabbed her by the arm and led her toward the forest, his eyes vigilantly sweeping the terrain, the large gun he carried aimed and ready. The electrified fence that once marked the district's boundary was destroyed, torn to the ground by several trucks and tanks that gathered round. Beyond that, she could just make out a few hovercrafts carefully camouflaged in the tree line.

"Katniss!" Prim screamed. She broke away from Gale and ran to her sister. They collided in a fierce hug, sending them to their knees.

"Little duck," she breathed in relief, running her hands over her sister's braids, assuring herself Prim was safe.

Katniss was still clutching her sister close when a tall, dark-skinned man approached them. He too wore a gray uniform, though the large gun he carried was still strapped to his back.

"Miss Everdeen, I'm Commander Boggs. I'm from District 13." He said, his voice deep and authoritative but not unkind.

"What's happening?" She asked, rising to her feet, taking in the scene around her.

"A strategic rescue mission. Victors in each district allied with Thirteen are being rescued as we speak," he spoke with military precision.

"Seven districts, Katniss. Seven districts in outright rebellion," Gale added.

"The Quell, it isn't happening? We're not going back?" She asked breathlessly.

"Not if we can help it," Boggs replied.

A brief, fleeting moment of relief swept over her before another round of gunfire sounded. The soldiers from Thirteen sprang into action, squadrons separating in all directions.

"Sir! The Capitol's responding! They're already in Three," a soldier shouted from his post. A series of screens were set up, showing the six other districts where missions were in place. Peacekeepers in white battled the soldiers in gray as chaos erupted across Panem. Smoke and flames shot up from various city centers. A grain silo crumbled in Eleven. A textile factory exploded in Eight.

Katniss turned to Gale. "Where are Peeta and Haymitch?"

"Abernathy and Trinket were secured near the Justice Building. No one has eyes on Mellark," Boggs supplied, his eyes on the screens.

Her eyes widened in alarm. "The Seam!" Katniss shouted, breaking away from Prim.

Gale caught her around the waist before she could get very far. "You can't Catnip, it's too dangerous."

She struggled against him, clawing uselessly at his arms, well protected under the gray armor.

"Soldiers have been assigned to the Seam. If he's there they'll find him," Boggs explained.

Another explosion sounded in the distance, plumes of fire and smoke rising from town.

“Commander, they’re detonating what they have on site. Hovercrafts have been deployed and they’re coming in hot,” another soldier shouted over the din.

“How long do we have?” Boggs demanded.

“Minutes, sir, 15 at the most,” he replied.

“All right, begin evac procedures now,” his voiced boomed the command. “Load the assets into Hovercraft 1 immediately.”

A voice came through the communication device on his wrist. “Commander, this is Jackson. We have Trinket and Abernathy, we’re five minutes out.”

“You have three minutes, Jackson, so bust your asses and hustle,” he ordered.

The woman on the other end huffed out a labored breath before replying, “Affirmative.”

Boggs turned to Gale. “Hawthorne, I want you on Hovercraft 1 with the Mockingjay. Get her and her family secured now!”

"No!” She shouted, struggling against Gale’s arms. “What about Peeta?”

“Still no eyes on Mellark,” a soldier reported from his station.

Boggs turned to face her, "I'm sorry,” he said genuinely. “But we can't risk the mission."

"I thought you said the mission was to rescue all the victors. Peeta's a victor too!" Katniss shouted frantically.

"He may be a victor, Miss Everdeen, but he's not the Mockingjay," Boggs said.

"Just stop,” she screamed. “Stop calling me that! What does that even mean?”

The chaos seemed to slow at her outburst, the eyes of every gray-clad District 13 soldier landing on her.

Commander Boggs looked her in the eyes and spoke in a low voice. “You’re the Mockingjay. The face of the revolution. You, Katniss Everdeen, have done what District 13 has sought to do for years. You united the districts against the Capitol. You gamed the system. You were never supposed to win and you did. Only one victor was meant to survive and yet you saved two lives. Because of you, every man, woman and child in District 13 has hope. I am not risking that hope, the very fate of this rebellion, for anything,” he said, his last words sharp and final.

Katniss’ mind swam, turning over the commander’s words. Her stomach turned as she realized the implications of his revelation. _She was the Mockingjay. She was the mission._ Suddenly it all made sense. Capitol forces were bearing down on them yet there was only a handful of hovercrafts, a couple of tanks and a squadron of soldiers. This wasn’t a battle, this wasn’t a military stand. It was a precision strike. An extraction.

“You’re not going to try and save them are you?” She accused. “He’s going to hurt them, kill them because of me and you’re going to let it happen, aren’t you?”

The man, Boggs, had the decency to look away as he said. “We’re trying to save your family and the other victors, but yes, we’re here for you. You’re the mission.”

Katniss felt sick. Smoke filled her lungs and burned her eyes. The district was doomed and it was all her fault.

She turned her head when Prim called her name, standing on the open bay doors of a hovercraft. Another soldier was buckling her mother into a seat when Gale returned for her, dragging her along. It was only when her mother threw her arms around the woman next to her that she realized it was Hazelle Hawthorne, with Rory, Vick and Posy settled beside her.

“Come on, Catnip. You gotta go,” Gale urged.

“Move it, Sweetheart,” Haymitch yelled, grabbing Katniss by the arm as he ran by, dragging her toward the hovercraft.

He and Effie nearly collapsed in a breathless heap just inside the craft’s doorway.

Prim barreled into her as soon as Katniss was aboard. Her skinny arms wrapped like a vice around her older sister’s waist. Katniss kissed her brow and murmured words of comfort in her ear. “Easy Little Duck, I got you.”

Katniss winced as more shots rang in the distance. She opened her eyes to find Gale’s steely gaze on her. “How can we do this, Gale? How can we just leave them? What kind of symbol would I be if I abandon the people of this district? If I abandon Peeta?”

“Wait!” Haymitch bellowed. “Where’s the boy?” He asked, eyeing Boggs.

“We were unable to secure Mellark,” Boggs said.

“Well you better damn well send someone out to _secure_ him. That was part of this whole damn deal!” Haymitch shouted, pointing wildly toward the district.

“What do you mean ‘deal?’ ” Katniss demanded.

The mentor avoided her gaze.

“You knew!” She shouted, rounding on Haymitch. “You knew this was coming! For months, we thought we were going to die and you didn’t say a thing! All these people are at risk because of whatever rebel plans you’ve been making! How could you?” She yelled, shoving him backwards.

Haymitch caught his footing and looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Yes. I was part of rebel plans. I was trying to save your ass, Sweetheart. But don’t you dare convince yourself I was figuring on sacrificing the boy or the district to do it. No one quite saw this coming.”

“Cut the bullshit, Haymitch. You think of everything, don’t you?” Katniss accused. “You were willing to use him as a pawn once before, what makes now any different? What’s District 12 against the whole country? Are those the lies you’ve been telling yourself these past few months? While you were sweating and working and training alongside Peeta and me?” She lunged at her mentor, clawing and scratching. “Why would you do that? Why would do and say everything that you did, knowing this might happen?” She screamed.

“Because, Katniss, revolution is worth dying for, but you’ve got to have something to live for too,” he said knowingly.

Katniss stepped back, his words landing like a blow. The fresh memories of last night and this morning played in her mind, still so sweet and dear to her. She remembered Peeta’s nervous smile as he extended the bread. The way firelight cast his complexion golden. The feel of his skin against hers. Katniss closed her eyes against the onslaught. When she opened them, they landed on her sweet, dear sister. She wrapped her arms around Prim in a fierce hug. She only ever wanted to save her sister. She never planned on a rebellion or becoming a symbol. But then she never planned on falling in love with Peeta, either.

Just then a siren sounded throughout the district. A sound every District 12 resident knew well.

“The mine,” Katniss said under her breath.

“What is that? What’s going on?” Effie asked.

“It’s the mine,” Gale explained. “The siren. It means there’s a collapse. The last time it sounded our fathers died,” he said, his voice solemn.

“They’re blowing it up,” Haymitch surmised. “They know those hovercrafts can’t get here before we get Katniss out, so they’re detonating the underground explosives.”

The craft’s engines roared to life, the floor shaking beneath Katniss’ feet as they prepared for takeoff. The bay doors had just started to close when she hugged Prim tightly. “I love you, be safe Little Duck,” she whispered in her ear before running toward the opening and jumping from the craft already hovering a few feet above ground.

She took off at a dead run, Gale hot on her heels.

“Stop!” He shouted, wrapping his hand around her arm.

"Let me go!" She screamed, her eyes blazing. "I have to get to Peeta!"

“Thirteen’s got soldiers on the ground. They’ll do everything they can to find him. But you need to leave now!”

“I can’t leave him Gale, I can’t save myself and let him die. If that’s what they want from the Mockingjay, tell them to find someone else.”

“There is no other Mockingjay, Catnip. If you die, the rebellion dies with you!” He shouted.

“If Peeta dies, I die too!” She screamed.

Gale reeled back, stunned at her revelation. “You love him that much. Like Prim. You’ll die for him.”

It wasn’t a question, but Katniss answered anyway, “Yes.”

“Hawthorne!” Boggs’ voice boomed from the communication device on Gale’s wrist. “You get the Mockingjay back on this hovercraft now!”

Katniss looked Gale in the eye. “I’m not going. Not without him.”

Gale scrubbed a hand over his face. “Well if we’re going to save your baker, we should try and round up as many people as we can, maybe take cover in the woods.”

A smile broke out on Katniss’ face before they took off toward town.

“Hawthorne!” Boggs shouted. “What are you doing? Do not deviate from the mission! Subdue the Mockingjay by force if necessary and return to this craft immediately!”

Gale tore the device from his wrist and threw it to the ground as they reached the district boundary. Boggs’ commanding voice boomed Gale’s name one last time before he crushed the device under the heel of his boot.

“Where to Catnip?” He asked.

“The Seam, he went there looking for Prim,” she said.

Fear threatened to overwhelm her as they made their way to the Seam. Smoke filled the air and the shrill sound of the mine’s alarm kept ringing insistently, chiming an ominous tune she felt in her bones.

The earth shook beneath them, sending the terrified residents of District 12 to their knees and suddenly Katniss felt 11 years old again. She remembered this fear, this panic, clawing at her insides. The day her father died. She had known as soon as she felt the tremors. The earth was shaken and so was her world. Suddenly and without a doubt, she knew where Peeta was.

“The mine,” she shouted.

“Why would he go there?”

“People need help,” she said, her voice watery. “He’s going to give it.”

They just reached the mine when the ground shook again, a rumbling, groaning noise rising from the earth before a sickening crack sounded as a wide, gaping hole opened up in the ground beneath their feet.

A fit of screams came from the south and Katniss and Gale were horrified as several people were swallowed by the crater.

“No!” She screamed, running toward the collapsed vein of the mine. Dirt and coal dust rose from the seam in the ground. Katniss tried to navigate closer to the mouth’s opening but the ground crumbled beneath her feet, nearly toppling her into the abyss until Gale’s arm caught her.

“We can’t. It’s not safe this way. We have to find where the break ends and go around,”Gale advised.

“We don’t have time! They need help!”

“We can’t help anyone if we’re dead, Catnip.”

Gale’s grip on her arm was as steely as his gaze and Katniss knew he was right. It would take longer, several precious minutes more than they had to spare, but there was no other way.

A few more tremors rocked beneath them as they made their way around the crater, farther into the Seam. Through the haze of smoke and dust they found a group near another arm of the collapsed mine, struggling to pull survivors from the rocky debris.

“Sae!” Katniss shouted when she saw the older woman. “Sae!”

Greasy Sae turned toward the sound of Katniss’ voice, panic clear on the older woman’s face.

“Oh girl, we thought they got you!” She said as she threw her arms around Katniss.

“No, no, I’m alright,” she assured. “What’s going on? Who’s down there?” She asked.

“The alarm sounded a few minutes before the collapse, there weren’t nobody working today cause the Reaping so it shoulda been alright, but in all my years I ain’t never seen the ground swallow people up whole. This wasn’t right, Katniss. It wasn’t natural.”

“Haymitch was right,” Gale said. “They blew the mine.”

“Gale Hawthorne, as I live and breathe, you’re alive!” Sae shouted, throwing her arms around Gale, a shocked and overwhelmed expression on her face.

The older woman drew back and continued her explanation. “I don’t know how many people it swallowed up in the initial collapse, but Katniss, your young man went in to help and, well, a few minutes after there was another rumble. Thom and a few of the others went in looking.” Sae delivered the news sadly.

“No, Peeta!” She shouted, searching the site frantically. “Where is he?”

“They’ve got a few people out, but there ain’t no word on him yet. Katniss, I’m so sorry.”

Pain ripped through Katniss’ chest, bringing her to her knees. Her father’s face swam before her eyes. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t Peeta’s fate. She would not lose him to the mine, like she lost her father. He was too bright, too luminous. He was her dandelion in the spring and darkness would not take him. A dirty coal pit was no resting place.

Katniss rose to her feet and determinedly ran toward the collapse. She was unsteady on the loose ground, but tread cautiously, careful not to fall.

Thom was just pulling Leevy out from the hole when Katniss made her way to the opening. The girl was banged up, with several cuts and bruises and maybe even a sprained wrist, but she had survived. Katniss was hopeful Peeta would survive too. No one had a heart like his, so strong and true — it could beat forever.

Katniss had just started her descent when Thom grabbed her arm. “No, Katniss, it’s not safe.”

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the darkness, the gaping chasm ready to consume her whole world. “Is he down there?” She whispered.

Thom closed his eyes tight for a moment and the pained expression on his face was all Katniss needed to know. She tried pulling out of his grip but Thom held firm.

“I can’t. He’d never forgive me if I let something happen to you,” Thom entreated her. “He saved my life and I’ll do my best to save his, Katniss, I swear it. But I know he wouldn’t want you down there.”

Her eyes traveled over the burn scars just peaking out from his shirt collar, remembering the day Peeta ran into the burning Hob and the terror that gripped her then. “Thom, please,” she begged.

“I’ll go Catnip,” Gale said. “You were never meant for the mines.”

“No!” She shouted, turning on Gale, forcing him backward and away from the opening. “You go and tell people what’s coming. You get people to safety. Get them as far into the woods as you can before those Capitol hovercrafts get here. Don’t let Snow take our people if we can spare them.”

“I can’t let you go in there,” he said. “It’ll be like watching you go into the Arena all over again. Never knowing if you’ll make it out.”

“That’s why I have to go,” she reasoned.

Gale looked in her eyes and saw it. A look that said she would move heaven and Earth to get Peeta back. It was the same look his mother wore the day his father died.

“Because he’s your partner,” he said solemnly.

She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. “Because he’s my husband.”

Gale’s eyes slammed shut at her admission, finally understanding, finally accepting.

“Let her go Thom,” Gale said.

“What? No, I can’t. Gale, you can’t be serious. She’s never even worked in the mines, hasn’t been trained. It’s not safe,” Thom argued.

 “You really think there isn’t anything Katniss can’t survive?” He queried, brow raised.

Thom just sighed in defeat.

“Alright, Catnip,” Gale said, pulling her in for brief yet tight hug. “You be safe. Shoot straight.”

She hugged him back, knowing what he meant even if there wasn’t a bow in her hands. _Shoot straight. Aim true. Good luck._ It was all the same in the language of hunters.

With one last look in her direction, Gale rounded up a few of his crew members from the mine and headed off toward town and through the Seam.

Katniss took a deep breath and steeled herself as she followed Thom into the crater. What little sunlight there was quickly faded as they made their way through the mine shaft. The air was heavy and dank in her lungs and a gritty bitterness quickly coated her mouth. Katniss spat vehemently trying to expel the coal dust.

She doubled over coughing and that’s when she saw the trail of blood. Unwitting her eyes followed the trail to its source. A body lie crushed under a boulder, a pale, lifeless arm stretched out from underneath the rock at an unnatural angle. Katniss closed her eyes, it was all she could do not to vomit.

“That’s not,” her voice shook. “That’s not Peeta is it?”

“No,” Thom said, assuring but still sad. “No, that was Mr. Bennet. I saw it happen.” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “We all fled the square after the Peacekeepers started shooting. We made it a mile or so before we heard it, the alarm and then the ground started shaking. I mean just rattlin’ right under our feet and then it opened up. One minute he was standing there, shouting at his wife and girls to get to safety with the ground solid beneath his feet and the next minute it was gone and him with it.

“Peeta was there,” Thom continued. “He’d been looking for Prim when it happened and we all tried to get to Bennet as soon as we could. Peeta ran in first and I swear Katniss, I made to follow, but then it started shaking again and the hole opened up taking more people with it and when it stopped Peeta was just gone.”

Katniss gripped Thom’s hand. “He’s here and we’ll find him,” she said, steel in her voice.

“How can you be so sure?” Thom asked, tired and defeated.

“Because, I found him in the Arena. I can find him in my own back yard.” She said, offering Thom a reassuring smile.

Katniss and Thom made little progress as most of the tunnels were collapsed. The few routes large enough for them to fit their bodies through were slow going and only minutes had passed when the rock shook again. Katniss braced herself against the walls until it stopped.

“You should go, Thom,” Katniss said.

“I won’t do that. I won’t leave you. You’ll never find him on your own,” he argued.

“You’ve got a girl. Go get her and get out of Twelve as fast as you can. Run toward the woods, go as far as you can and then keep going. Don’t stop, okay? You don’t…” she paused. “Just don’t stop and don’t turn back.”

Thom looked pained and torn and she could tell her words were swaying him.

“Go Thom. I’ll find Peeta. Go make sure your girl is safe, please,” she begged, unwilling to have another life on her hands.

Thom handed her his lamp. “When we dig, we follow the mine’s natural veins as we best we can. It’s safest that way. The shafts are strongest and if you follow the veins long enough it eventually leads to the heart of the lode, you understand?”

Katniss nodded.

“The bigger chambers have more oxygen and some have a water source if you’re lucky. There’s a chance, if he ended up in one of them, he’s got time. Maybe even a few days.”

Katniss didn’t bother to tell him that she didn’t have days to look, but it didn’t matter. She’d keep looking for Peeta until her last breath.

Thom smiled sadly before quickly backtracking toward the surface. Katniss set the lamp down and stood still, searching for a breeze in the dank, stale air of the mine.

Her father’s voice came to mind, a long forgotten memory suddenly remembered.

_Her father was washing his hands in a pail by the fire, rivulets of black water dripping from his cracked and bleeding fingers as he sang a song under his breath._

_“Why do they call it ‘digging for Devil’s blood’ Daddy?” She had asked, curious like any small child._

_Her father looked at her long and hard, deciding how much truth to tell his young daughter. He grabbed a cloth to dry his hands and pulled her onto his lap. He took Katniss’ hand in his and held them up before the flames. As her father spoke, she traced the black lines of cracked skin across his palm._

_“Because,” he sighed. “Coal is black and dirty as Devil’s blood. And sooner or later, the Devil always gets his due.”_

_“What’s that mean?” She asked._

_“The underground is the Devil’s domain, Katniss. It’s his and you can only take so much before he takes something back. But the Devil never gets to keep the good ones. He may get their lives, but he only gets to keep the souls as black as his.”_

_“Where do the good men go?”_

_Her father looked up at her mother, standing over the cook stove in the kitchen, one hand stirring the stew they were having for supper and another hand resting on her growing belly._

_“They fly free, like mockingjays in the woods. There’s a legend in the mines, that a long time ago, before the Districts and the Dark Days, there was a miner trapped deep underground. It was said that his crew looked for him for days to no avail. Then, when everyone had given up hope, certain he was dead, the man appeared. Oh he was battered and bruised and tired as the day is long but when he recovered a bit they asked him how he survived it and he said he followed the wind’s song. You see Katniss, the earth isn’t completely solid underground. There’s all kinds of holes and chambers besides the ones we dig and sometimes on the days when it feels like the Devil is breathing down your neck, making you pay for taking his blood, the coal, you’ll feel a breeze. And it’s one of the sweetest things in the world.”_

_“As sweet as me?” Katniss interrupted playfully._

_“No,” he said, wrapping his arms more tightly around his little girl. “Nothing’s sweeter than you or your mama, but it comes close, Kitty Kat. It comes real close.”_

_He nuzzled her nose before continuing. “And sometimes, with the breeze comes a song. Almost like a whistle. And that’s a good sign, Katniss. If you can feel a breeze and hear the wind’s song it means if something goes wrong there might be a way out. It means you may get to see the sun shine again.”_

Katniss felt the breeze ruffle the tendrils of hair that fell loose from her braid. She closed her eyes tighter and willed herself to listen. And then she heard it, over the sound of her own thunderous heart, Katniss heard the wind’s song. She dared hope it meant there was another cavern where Peeta might be, another cavern with water and air enough to keep him alive until she found him 

Terrified but hopeful, Katniss opened her eyes, picked up the lamp and made her way forward, singing the song her father had all those years ago.

 

_“Born and raised in a minin' town_  
_Where most folks thought that up was down_  
_We all lived and gave our soul  
__Did it all for ol' king coal_  

_Daddy rose at the crack of dawn_  
_When I could I'd tag along_  
_Capin' said what a fine young man  
__Put a pick in that boy's hand_  

_I feel the dust upon my tongue_  
_Feel the pain down in my lungs_  
_The time to leave has come an' gone  
__There's nothin' left but to carry on_  

_Way down here in this ol' coal mine_  
_Where the sun it dare not shine_  
_I sweat an' toil till day is done  
_ _But I'll be back when mornin' comes”_

 

Periodic tremors continued to shake the mine and so Katniss recited the verses over and over until her voice was hoarse. But still she kept singing, as if her father’s words were a rite that would protect her, guide her.

The sounds from above stopped and Katniss didn’t know if that was good or bad. She didn’t know if the Capitol strikes had been successful or subdued by Thirteen. But still she continued, winding her way through small channels and openings between the rock, following the faint, illusive breeze as best she could.

Katniss’s heart stopped sometime later when she heard a faint noise, a cough. She dropped the lantern and started scrambling through the rock, trying to widen the opening until she could fit her body through.

The cavern was wide and a faint trickle of water sounded in the far side of the room. Katniss reached back for the lantern and held it up, illuminating the darkness. She took a hesitant step and then she heard it.

“You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?”

“Peeta!” She breathed, frantically searching the room for the source of the voice.

A dry, hacking cough filled the space and Katniss’ eyes finally spotted him. She dropped the lantern and collapsed beside him, throwing her arms around him in a fierce hug.

“I heard your voice,” he said, bringing his hands up to her face, brushing her tears away. “I heard you singing and I thought I was dying, having the voice of an angel inside my head,” he said, his voice nothing more than a laboured whisper in her ear.

Katniss sobbed, wiping her hands across her face, trying to clear the tears tracks from her cheeks. She was so overwhelmed and relieved it almost hurt, but she didn’t focus on the tide of emotion threatening to overwhelm her, she focused on what she could control, on practicalities. “Where are you hurt?” She asked, looking him over as best she could in the dim light cast from the lamp.

“My ribs,” he winced, sucking in a breath. “My ribs hurt, a few might be broken, but it’s my leg.”

Katniss looked down to see a large boulder crushing his bad leg, up to where prosthetic met flesh. There was blood and she could see bits of machinery as well muscle and bone. Her mind raced, the boulder was far too heavy for either of them to move.

“I can’t...does it come off?” She asked, her mind racing.

“No,” Peeta said. “It’s not like the ones some of the miners have. It doesn’t slip on and off. It’s a permanent replacement, surgically attached to my body. The latest in Capitol technology,” he remarked sarcastically.

Katniss brought the lamp closer and inspected Peeta’s injury, tearing his pant leg away from the wound. Beneath blood and torn flesh she could see where the prosthetic was joined with Peeta’s leg, the metal fitting into bone, the joints fusing. It was remarkable technology, almost elegant, but if Katniss were to have any chance of saving Peeta’s life she’d have to figure out a way to undo it.

Katniss surveyed their surroundings, she didn’t have anything on her. She searched the cavern for any abandoned mining tools hoping she might find something that could help, but there was nothing but crumbled bits of rock and coal and dirt. Her mind raced, frantically trying to think of a way to extract Peeta. She thought back over past mine accidents, men her mother treated and wracked her brain for a possible solution. When it came to her, she almost felt sick at the sense of deja vu.

Quickly tearing the laces from her left boot, Katniss wrapped it tight around Peeta’s leg, just above the knee, forming a tourniquet.

“Peeta I have an idea, but it’s going to hurt like hell,” she warned.

Blue eyes met hers in the dim light of the cavern. Peeta’s face was streaked with sweat and coal dust, his eyes were bloodshot and tired but beneath all that she could see his faith in her, his love and trust and devotion, swirling amid his will to live

He nodded his head. “Whatever it is, Katniss, do it.”

She leaned down and kissed Peeta briefly on the lips before undoing the decorative leather cuff at her wrist and placing it between his teeth.

“Bite down,” she instructed, her voice firm despite her nerves. Katniss grabbed the lamp and moved closer to Peeta’s leg. She tore his pant leg up to his thigh and then grabbed a couple of rocks nearby. Sucking in a deep breath, she wedged the smaller one in Peeta’s wound, between where the metal met his knee joint and then, with one last glance at Peeta’s face, she brought the larger rock down with all the force she could muster.

Peeta’s muffled scream filled the cavern and Katniss’ heart twisted in agony at the sound but she continued, trying to the break the bone, trying to sever the bond between man and machine.

It was bloody and sickening and Katniss felt her heart splinter with each bit of bone but she continued. Peeta’s screams eventually stopped when the pain became too much and he passed out. Katniss wiped her tears and running nose but kept at her gruesome task until finally she heard the sickening crunch that meant it was done. Her hands covered in blood, she pulled at the metal and synthetic materials until finally all connection between Peeta and prosthetic were severed.

She tied the ends of his tattered pant leg around his stump, ensuring the tourniquet was snug. She wiped her hands on the front of her jumper before lying down beside him, cradling his head in the crook of her shoulder. She trailed her fingers across the planes of his face, marveling that a mere 24 hours ago they’d been tangled in bed together, consumed by each other. She held him close and sobbed. She wanted a million more nights like that one, she wanted a lifetime with Peeta Mellark and she wouldn’t let the Capitol, or Snow or a damn coal mine take that from her.

“Peeta,” she whispered softly in his ear, gently carding her fingers through his hair. “Peeta wake up.”

He stirred slightly, wincing at the pain. His eyes were hazy and unfocused when they met hers.

“I have to leave you for a bit, okay? I have to try and find a way out.”

A cough halted Peeta’s reply and so he simply nodded his head, too tired to do more. Katniss placed a tender kiss on his forehead before grabbing the lamp and rising to her feet. She followed the slight breeze that had let her to Peeta, listening for the sound of water or anything that might lead her above ground. It was several long moments before she heard it, so faint it was almost a dream. Katniss followed the noise for several yards, unsure it wasn’t her imagination, but as she continued the birdsong grew louder and then she saw it, a faint shaft of sunlight filtering between holes in the rocks.

Katniss clambered over boulders and through rubble until she reached the shaft with the opening, about 20 feet up. A hard but doable climb, it would be doubly difficult with Peeta’s injury. Katniss inspected the rocks, looking for foot and handholds, the best possible route they could take. It would be hard, but not impossible. She straightened her shoulders and hurried through the maze of rock and debris back to Peeta, who was drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Peeta,” she said, gripping his shoulder and pulling him upright. “Peeta, there’s a way out,” she said, her voice hopeful.

His arms, still so strong, pulled her into his warm embrace. He kissed her forehead before blue eyes met gray. He didn’t say a word, just braced his hands on the ground, trying to rise to his feet. Katniss wrapped her arms around his lean torso, bracing her hip against his in support.

When they were finally on their feet Peeta spoke, his voice a gravelly rumble in the dark. “What is it with us and caves you think?”

Katniss snorted. “Only you would make jokes at a time like this,” she said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Well, somebody’s got to,” he said, hobbling through his first few steps.

“Walk, don’t talk,” Katniss said, her voice firm but her touch gentle.

It took much longer to navigate back to the opening Katniss found, Peeta was unsteady without his prosthetic leg and tired and woozy from blood loss. She offed to stop a few times and rest but Peeta was determined they go on. Eventually they stood in the shaft of light from the opening, so close yet so far from safety.

“Katniss, you can’t mean to… There’s no way I can make it up that,” he said.

“You can and you will,” she said, her jaw set in determination.

Katniss led Peeta to the portion of the wall she thought had the best path. There were several roots and large rocks jutting out from the dirt, making footholds and handholds.

“You go first and I’ll follow, I’ll help balance you,” she said.

She grabbed his hands and placed them on the first rocks, pointing out the various markers she thought best. Peeta stole a quick kiss before hoisting himself the first few feet, relying on his upper body strength for much of the climb. Katniss followed behind, calling up instructions to Peeta, guiding his foot where she could.

About halfway up, Katniss’ arms were aching when Peeta lost his footing. He held on tight to the rocky outcropping but his foot flailed, trying to find the root for leverage.

“Peeta!” She shouted, trying to grab his ankle which was just out of arm’s reach. “Hold on, I’m coming!”

All she could hear was his labored breathing and the pounding of her own heart as she hurried up the wall, hoisting herself up the next few feet. Finally, she grabbed his ankle and guided it to the nearest foothold.

“Come on, we’re almost there,” she called, looking up, the opening looming closer and larger.

Peeta grunted in reply, his arms shaking as he managed to pull himself up the last few feet. He reached down to grab Katniss’ hand and pulled her from the hole, as soon as she was free they collapsed into a pile of limbs at the base of a tree. It was dusk and the last traces of sunlight filtered down through the leaves as Katniss’ eyes spotted it, a mockingjay nest in the highest branches. The mother bird's song rang out as her chicks clambered about the nest. Katniss closed her eyes, breathless at the sight, at the miracle of their escape.

She opened her eyes when Peeta spoke. “Where are we?”

“The woods,” Katniss said, looking around, seeing no sign of the district boundary or town. “We must have traveled farther through the tunnels than I thought.”

She rose and surveyed their surroundings, they were farther east than her usual hunting grounds but if they crossed west they could grab a knife and pack of supplies hidden in the hollow tree where she and Gale stored their weapons.

“Come on, Peeta,” she said, reaching down and wrapping her arms beneath his, helping him stand up. “If we hurry we can take shelter at the cabin.”

“You think they’ll come looking for us?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “If we’re lucky they think we died in the collapse.”

Peeta didn’t ask what would happen if they weren’t lucky. They already knew.

Their progress was slow and Katniss stopped periodically so Peeta could rest. She checked his leg, thankful the bleeding had stopped. She’d been fortunate she hadn’t had to sever any blood vessels to disconnect the leg, but knew the broken bone must be agony for Peeta.

They were a hundred yards or so away from the cabin when they heard voices. Katniss stopped and helped Peeta to the ground before skulking off to investigate. She gripped the knife tightly in her hand as she circled around a tree, a branch snapped close by and she raised the knife in defense when a large hand clapped around her wrist.

“It’s me Catnip, it’s me,” Gale said in her ear.

“Gale,” she breathed out a sigh of relief, sinking into him.

Her looked her over, “You’re alive. We weren’t sure,” he gulped. “After the hovercrafts came…”

“I’m okay,” she said.

“And Peeta?” He asked.

She blinked back tears, “He’s alive, but he’s...it’s not good, Gale.”

“Is he with you?”

“Yeah, he’s just over there, behind that stand of trees,” she said, pointing in the direction from which she came.

“It’ll be alright, Catnip. I’ll go get Thom and we’ll go with you, we’ll get him.”

Peeta was drifting out of consciousness when they made their way back to him, blood loss and exhaustion taking their toll.

“What happened?” Thom asked.

“His prosthetic leg, it got pinned under a rock and I had to remove it. It was...it was surgically attached.”

Thom and Gale paled at the revelation.

“Damn but you are tough,” Thom said, amazed.

Katniss shook her head. “He’s tougher,” she said, motioning to Peeta.

“Be that as it may,” Thom said as he and Gale reached down to lift Peeta up. “You’re the reason he’s alive.”

They brought Peeta inside the cabin and laid him down to rest before the hearth. There was no fire to light up the small room but Katniss could tell it was near bursting with people.

“How many people did you convince to come with you?” She asked Gale.

“Several hundred, maybe a thousand if we’re lucky. People in the worst shape are holed up here. I’ve got several more small camps scattered throughout the woods. It shouldn’t get too cold so I warned them not to make fires.”

“Maybe we can go back to Twelve in the morning and get some supplies. Food, medicine, more clothes.”

“We need to get to Thirteen,” he argued, an edge to his voice. “Get these people safe and find out what’s going on.”

“Gale, we can’t take this many people who knows how far without supplies, there’s no way. There are children and the injured to think about,” she argued. “And all the other people left in Twelve to consider. Maybe we can convince them to come with us.”

“Katniss,” Gale said softly. His tone made her realize there was more to it. It’s the same one he used to approach wounded animals before delivering a deathblow. Instinctively Katniss raised her hand to block his words but he caught it, holding on tightly.

“Don’t,” she whispered.

“Katniss, there is no District 12.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for the long wait between chapters. Much gratitude to my soul sister, Stacylk, for pre-reading. Thank you everyone for not giving up on me or this story. I think there's about one more chapter after this one and a possible epilogue.  
> I'm on tumblr, username optimus-pam.
> 
> Also, "The Coal Miner Song" belongs to Jimmy Joe Lee.


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